CHAPTER FIVE #2
Thad’s breath caught as he pictured it, pictured Graham stretched out on expensive white sheets, naked and hard, his fingers wrapped around the length of his shaft as he stroked …
Thad shifted in the passenger seat again, swallowing hard at the sudden race of heat along his skin and the desire to know what Graham sounded like when he came.
He could feel his body responding already, like it was primed for this. Like the slightest thing Graham did or said was enough to get him going.
Thad tried to speak but nothing came out except a low, rough sound. He cleared his throat, though his voice wasn’t much better when he said, “Shit, I didn’t think you were …”
Thad didn’t finish because he didn’t know what Graham was. He didn’t know if Graham knew what he was.
So he changed tack.
“It’s fine. It doesn’t have to mean anything. And I get it,” Thad said, trying to gentle his voice. “It’s a little confusing to be attracted to men for the first time. It’s not like you know your way around a dick or—”
"Jesus, Thad. It's not the penis that’s the problem! It's your THADNESS," he snapped.
Thad laughed, surprised. “My what?”
“Your … you. All of that.” Graham waved a hand. “I’m sure I can handle a penis. It’s you I’m not sure what to do about.”
Thad laughed again and bit back the urge to ask Graham if he’d like to handle his penis.
Because this really, really wasn’t the time or place for that and for once in his life he was going to act like a fucking mature adult man in his forties or die trying.
He cleared his throat again. “What do you want to do about me?”
“That’s the problem. I don’t fucking know.” Graham gripped the steering wheel, his jaw tightening.
Thad felt a weird ache because he wanted to slide a hand along Graham’s broad shoulders, feel the warmth of his skin through his snug white shirt, and pull him close.
He wanted to comfort Graham, reassure him he was fine and that they’d figure this out together. But they weren’t together and there were so many reasons why they couldn’t be.
Why they made no sense.
“I can’t …” Graham’s voice broke. “Dude, this is the worst fucking timing for this. I’m with Madison.”
“Yeah. You said that already,” Thad said flatly.
“And this season I have got to get my shit together. I’m supposed to be a leader for this team, and I didn’t do enough last season. I need to do better this year.”
“I get that.”
“And fuck, my mom’s got this … she’s up for district attorney and there’s an election in November, so she’s gotta make sure everything looks good. And like …”
“Dating a guy wouldn’t look good.”
Graham glanced over. “What? No. I don’t think that’s an issue. My parents are good with gay people.”
“Okay. So, what’s the prob—” Thad stopped abruptly. “Oh. Doesn’t look good to have her little boy dating an ex-con, I’d bet.”
He couldn’t quite hide the bitterness in his voice.
“Yeah.” Graham looked and sounded uncomfortable. “They wouldn’t hold anything against you. It’s that …”
“From a PR perspective, it’s not ideal,” Thad said cooly.
And he didn’t know why he’d thought otherwise because he’d always known Graham was way, way fucking out of his league. But he still didn’t like the feeling in the pit of his stomach right now. The hollow ache and the twist of hurt.
“Right,” Graham whispered. “And I know all that, but I can’t stop thinking about you.”
Thad closed his eyes, letting his head fall back against the sumptuous leather headrest. “Right.”
Because that wasn’t going to fuck him up at all to know that.
“I don’t know what to do.”
“Nothing has to change,” Thad pointed out, looking over at him again. “We can still be friends.”
“Can we? Because it doesn’t really feel like it anymore. I’m not imagining this tension, am I?” Graham gestured between them.
Thad laughed hollowly. “No. You’re not imagining it.”
“So what the fuck happens now?”
Some part of Thad, the part that liked to poke at something until he caused a reaction, was tempted to lean over and whisper something filthy in Graham’s ear.
To nose his way along Graham’s neck and jaw while he got a hand on his fly.
To see how little it took to get Graham hard, then unzip his jeans and take his cock out.
He wanted to lean over and take Graham in his mouth. He wanted to know how he tasted, to see how it felt to run his tongue along the crown of his dick, then swallow him to the root. He wanted to give Graham the best fucking blowjob of his life.
Thad wanted to ruin Graham for Madison and every other woman out there.
Every other man out there. Everyone out there.
He wanted to be greedy and grab onto Graham and not let go.
That wasn’t something Thad had ever wanted before, but right now he wanted it so fucking bad he could feel the faint trembling in his body at the effort it took to hold himself back.
“Nothing happens,” Thad said softly. “I mean, us being together, that would be stupid, right? I can’t afford to fuck up this job and me getting together with a player, well, it might not be a problem if I was anyone else but everyone in the organization knows I only got the position because of my brother. ”
“But you’re good at it,” Graham protested.
“Yeah, I am,” Thad said without a trace of arrogance. Because he was, damn it. He’d improved the team’s social media strategy exponentially last season.
But that didn’t mean it was enough.
Aloud, he said, “But I can’t … rest on that.
I have to be better than everyone else. I have to be so goddamn good no one ever questions how I got the job or if I deserve to keep it.
Because I can’t lose this. This is the first scrap of stability I’ve had in decades, and I can’t lose it. I won’t lose it.”
But I might risk it for you, he thought, and he couldn’t believe the thought had even crossed his mind.
He clenched his jaw so he wouldn’t say that part aloud.
“So what now?” Graham asked. “Do we … what if no one knew?”
“You’re telling me you want to secretly date me?” Thad asked in disbelief.
Graham looked out the window. “I don’t know. Maybe.”
“You have a girlfriend,” Thad reminded him. “You’re not that guy, Graham. You’re not the type to have a guy on the down-low and we both know it.”
Thad would like to think he was too proud to be anyone’s side piece, but the truth was, he’d probably take whatever Graham was willing to give him. He didn’t like that about himself. But it was true.
“Fuck!” Graham pounded the steering wheel.
“Am I wrong?”
“No.” Graham’s swallow was audible.
“Then … friends?” Thad offered.
Graham tipped forward, leaning his head against the leather wheel. “Yeah. Yeah, I guess so.”
Rather than slide his hand up Graham’s back like he wanted, Thad opened the door.
“See you tomorrow,” he said quietly.
Graham let out a weird, half-shuddering breath. “Yeah. See you tomorrow.”