CHAPTER THIRTY
“Hey,” Graham said.
Thad jerked, clearly startled. He’d been sitting by the fire, staring blankly into it and apparently, he hadn’t realized Graham had slipped out the door as Gavin went inside.
“You okay with some company?” Graham asked.
Thad nodded, glancing over. “As long as it’s you.”
“It’s me,” Graham said. He took a seat on the edge of the concrete fire pit, the wide ledge allowing him to warm his back without fear of going up in flames.
He passed something over to Thad who took it and stared at it blankly. “I thought maybe you could use them,” he said.
Thad glanced up from the crumpled pack of cigarettes Graham had dug out of Thad’s camera bag. “You hate when I smoke.”
“Sure,” Graham said with a shrug. “But I thought you might need them tonight.”
For a long moment, Thad stared at them before he lobbed them toward the fire.
Graham opened his mouth to say he didn’t think it was a great idea with that type of fire, but they skidded across the concrete and stopped before they reached the flames.
“Well, that was less dramatic than I intended,” Thad said in a wry tone. “But you get the idea.”
“Yeah,” Graham said. “But I meant it. If you need—”
“I just need you,” Thad whispered.
Graham leaned in, taking Thad’s hands. They were cold and he rubbed them softly. “You have me.”
“Do I?” The look in Thad’s eyes was so fearful it made Graham ache.
“Yeah. Yeah, you do.” Graham pressed their foreheads together. “If you want me.”
“I want you. I’ve wanted you for so long. I don’t know the moment when things changed for me. When I stopped thinking about you as only a friend and started to think of you in other ways, but … it feels like there was no other way this could go.”
Graham smiled. “Like we were meant to be?”
“Yeah. That sounds so fucking stupid, but …”
“No.” Graham lifted his head. “No, I like that thought.”
“Yeah?” Thad’s grin was crooked.
“I think it’s sort of romantic, you know?” Graham admitted. “I was thinking about it earlier. I never would have considered being with a guy if it hadn’t been for you.”
“I’m that hot, huh?” Thad teased.
Graham laughed but quickly sobered. It was good to see Thad was feeling better. Cracking jokes. But he really needed to stop acting like his looks and his street smarts and his photography skills were all he had to offer.
“You are,” Graham agreed. “But you’re so much more. You’re kind and protective and thoughtful and you’re—you’re a good person.”
“Everyone keeps saying that,” he muttered.
“Well, maybe you’ll believe it someday,” Graham said lightly.
“Maybe.”
Graham swallowed past his building nerves. “Hey. I want you to know something.”
“What’s that?” Thad looked wary now.
“I see a future for us,” Graham said. “A really good one. The kind where—we get to watch each other change and grow. Where we get through the tough times together and we support each other.”
“You do?”
“Yeah, I do. And I hope that’s not too much. I hope I’m not—”
His words were cut off when Thad cupped his cheeks and kissed him. It was slow and sweet. “No,” he said when he drew back, smiling. “It’s not too much. I’m glad. I’m glad you see that for us.”
“Do you?” Graham asked. “If you don’t right now, that’s okay. I mean it, I can be patient …”
Thad’s smile was breathtaking as he sat back. “I don’t know how it’ll look, really. That always seemed so—so unlikely for me, I don’t have a fucking clue what a future together would even look like. But that’s okay, as long as you have some ideas, we’ll get there.”
“We can figure it out together,” Graham offered.
“Yeah. I’d like that.”
“But I don’t have to know what it would look like to know I want it,” Thad said, his voice going a little thick now. “All I have to know is that I love you.”
Graham let out a shaky breath. “You mean it?”
“I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t. And I do.” Thad closed his eyes for a moment, then opened them again. They looked so dark right now. Such a beautiful shade of deep brown. “I love you, Graham.”
Graham didn’t know what to say. He’d come out here bracing himself for the worst. Bracing himself for Thad to end things. To find out he’d been fired.
He’d been prepared to fight for him. To beg Gavin for another chance. To beg Thad not to run, not to give up on them.
But love … no, he’d never expected that.
Graham let the word fill him, grew buoyant and happy with it. But Thad looked apprehensive now, like he was starting to worry that Graham didn’t feel it too.
“I love you too,” Graham blurted out because he didn’t want Thad to ever doubt that. “I do. Oh, God, you have no idea how much. You make me so happy.”
“Even though I don’t have my shit together? Even though I leave you in the middle of the night?” Thad looked away.
Graham shrugged. “As long as you’re there when I fall asleep and you leave me cute little notes in the morning for when I wake up, that’s enough.”
Thad’s smile looked almost bashful as he looked over again. “I’ll keep working on it though.”
“Okay,” Graham said with a smile.
“There’s, uh, something else you should know,” Thad said, his voice growing a little rough. “Something I need to tell you.”
“Sure.” Graham frowned, wondering what the big secret was. “You can tell me anything.”
Thad cleared his throat. “I haven’t been fully honest with you—”
The door slammed open and Thad flinched, turning his head to look at the stream of guys pouring out of the building.
“Okay, losers,” Tanner said cheerfully. “That’s enough couple time for now. It’s Halloween, Graham got a hatty, Jesse won best costume and the bet, and we’ve got a new rainbow guy to celebrate. Thad, quit hogging him.”
“What?” Thad sputtered.
“I tried to stop him,” Mickey said in a resigned tone. “I really did.”
“Uhh, guys, this isn’t the time,” Graham began but the team was already crowding around them. Someone was carrying a tray of shots, and one was pressed into Graham’s hand. He took it automatically, looking at Thad for help, but it was too late.
There was no escaping this.
Thad gave him an equally helpless look as he got pulled to his feet and Graham nodded. They could talk tomorrow. Whatever it was Thad had to say, Graham could wait a little longer to find out.
“Uhh,” Graham turned to them. “The bet? What bet?”
“That you and Thad were boning,” Tanner said cheerfully.
“We weren’t boning,” Graham protested. “We’ve been dating. And we’re in love.”
Tanner gave him a skeptical look. “In love but not having sex? I mean, it’s cool if you’re ace or whatever, but you really expect me to believe you’re not fucking that man otherwise? Because he is hot and that would be really fucking sad to not get railed by him.”
Mingling with his horror at Tanner’s lack of tact, Graham felt a helpless wave of affection for his ridiculous teammate.
This situation was made all the more ridiculous by the fact Tanner was still wearing a turtle costume.
“I am getting railed by him,” Grahan admitted quietly. “And it’s great. I’m just saying it’s more than that.”
“Oh, Good.” Tanner pressed a hand to his chest like he’d been genuinely worried.
“That’s a relief. And I mean the sex part.
I don’t give a shit about the love part.
Happy for you, or whatever, but I want to hear about the man’s dick.
Is it big? It looks like it would be big. He has big dick energy for sure.”
Graham sputtered, but Jesse spoke up, his voice carrying over the crowd. “To Graham and Thad!”
Everyone toasted as Graham stared around in confusion. “I really don’t know what the fuck is happening right now.”
“Drink,” Connor muttered in a low tone. “You’re probably gonna need it.”
So Graham tipped the shot back and enjoyed the burn on the way down. Yeah, he probably was. This team was … a lot. Under the best of circumstances.
And tonight had been particularly chaotic.
After Graham had discarded his shot glass, he turned to look at his captain. “Uhh, so …”
“Happy for you,” Connor said gruffly, holding out what looked like water in a little toast. “Sorry I wasn’t there for you, if you needed to talk through your, uh, sexuality stuff or anything.”
“No, it’s fine,” Graham said. “I wasn’t. This wasn’t …” He sighed. “I don’t know. I guess it was a little weird, realizing I was attracted to Thad. But it was more about … fuck, I don’t know. Didn’t help that I was dating Madison while all this was going on.”
Connor lifted an eyebrow. “That doesn’t sound like you at all.”
Graham told him the slightly condensed version about the kiss with Thad and the back and forth with Madison.
“Huh,” Connor said when Graham was done. “Well, I guess I know why you asked about Viv and me a while back.”
“Yeah,” Graham said.
“Did you two work it out? As friends, I mean.”
Graham nodded. “Yeah, we grabbed dinner recently. It was nice.”
Connor chuckled. “I suppose it’s a little easier when you haven’t been together for long.”
“Yeah, and we didn’t have kids together,” Graham pointed out.
“Amen to that.” Connor held up his glass again.
Graham gestured with his empty glass and a moment later, it was plucked from his fingers and another drink appeared in its place. He glanced over to see Jesse grinning. His lipstick was a little smeared, but otherwise he still looked like a very seductive cartoon.
And there’s a phrase I never thought I’d say in my life, he thought with a rueful laugh as he took a sip.
“So,” Jesse said cheerfully. “When I ran into you at HCI, what were you and Thad up to?”
Graham flushed. “Uhh. Don’t ask.”
“Oh no,” Jesse said, his eyes gleaming. “Do tell.”
“Hey, leave him be,” Connor said gruffly.
But Jesse ignored him. “And mini golf was a date, wasn’t it?”
“Yeah,” Graham admitted.
“Ha! I knew it.” Jesse smiled smugly at Connor. “And you thought they were just buddies.”
“Well, I wasn’t gonna assume—”
“Fucking goalie stares,” Graham muttered, walking away as Jesse and Connor good-naturedly bickered.