Chapter 34
Sitting here, listening to Quinn tell her story, watching as Allie nods in encouragement at every word that falls from her mouth, I feel a strange feeling start to build in my chest. I can’t believe the level of shit she put up with from this guy, and given everything she knows, I can see why he’s trying so hard to throw money at her to keep her quiet.
That she’s not being quiet is yet another sign of how brave she is.
She could so easily take the easy way out—sign the NDA, take the eleven million dollars and just get on with her life. But she’s not. Instead, she’s not only telling her story. She’s giving a voice to all the women he has managed to silence in the past.
And holy fuck, if that isn’t all kinds of awesome.
“So was Sean ever abusive?” Allie now asks, as my stomach twists with anxiety.
I glance at Quinn, who is running her thumb over her knuckles. “Physically, no,” she says after a moment. “But emotionally, absolutely.”
Allie nods again, a sympathetic smile on her face as she consults her list of questions before looking back at Quinn. “Alright, I think we’re almost at the end here,” she says. “Just one final question.”
Quinn smiles because she knows what the question is, and it’s probably the one question she’s wanted to be asked. “Go ahead,” she prompts, like she doesn’t already know what her answer is.
Allie’s smile widens as she asks, “So if Sean has silenced so many, but you’re refusing to be silenced, what’s the one thing you would say to him right now on behalf of you and all the women before you?”
I watch as she takes a deep breath, releasing it slowly before she says, “I’d tell him he doesn’t get to control us anymore.” She pauses for a second, head tilted to the side as though she’s thinking. “And also to eat a bag of dicks,” she adds, shrugging as she and Allie both laugh.
Allie nods, wrapping up the recording, before she gives the all-clear and she and Quinn both remove their headphones. “Okay, how do you feel?” she asks.
Quinn smiles, glancing at me quickly before she says, “Good, lighter.”
Allie returns the smile. “Awesome. And that was great, by the way. We got some really good stuff. As I said, once we go through edits, I’ll send you the final cut for any changes or whatever.”
“Thank you,” Quinn replies. “There is one thing I would like to change.”
“Oh?”
She glances at me again before she says, “My name. At the start, you introduced me as Quinn English, but it’s actually Quinn Bateman.”
Allie’s smile widens as she makes a note on the paper in front of her, that feeling in my chest only intensifying. “Absolutely, we can definitely do that.”
We stay for a few more minutes, finalizing the contract and payment, before we say goodbye and head outside to the car. I follow behind Quinn, and when we reach my truck, she turns to look at me.
“So, what did—”
The rest of her words are silenced as I back her up against the car, crashing my mouth against hers in a hard kiss.
My hand cradles her jaw, my hips pressing against hers as I kiss her slowly, deeply, a million different emotions and feelings and thoughts running through me.
I feel her smile against my lips, her hands sliding up my stomach to rest on my chest.
Eventually, I pull back, my forehead resting against hers as I whisper, “I am so fucking proud of you.”
Her smile widens, her hands coming up to cup my face now. “Thank you,” she whispers.
I wrap my arms around her, pulling her into a tight hug, wanting to say so many things to her right now. Like how she doesn’t have to feel alone anymore, or that she has a family again here with me, or that I don’t ever want her to feel afraid again.
But I don’t say any of those things. Instead, I say, “You wanna go home?”
“Yes,” she replies, nodding against my chest.
I take her to my place, partly because I know Sean is still here, and after everything that went down in the bar, I don’t want to risk him confronting her again. I’m not afraid of him, but today has been a lot, so I want to minimize the risk of her seeing him.
As we pull into the driveway, I smile when I see my mom’s car and laugh when I see her walking out of the front door, locking it behind her. Eli’s back at work for the next few days, so she must have let herself in.
“Hey, Ma,” I call as we get out of the car.
Mom smiles, looking over at us as she walks toward Quinn and pulls her in for a hug. “I was just dropping off some fish your father caught. It’s in the fridge, a nice fillet of mahi mahi.”
“Awesome, thanks,” I say, pulling her into a hug. “I’m starving.”
“You’re always starving,” my mom says, patting my stomach.
“Maybe,” I reply with a shrug. “You go out on the water with him?” I ask, knowing fishing was something Dad always did with Mitch.
“I did,” Mom says with a smile. “He does tell me my constant questions scare the fish away, but I think he likes the company.”
“He does,” I tell her. “Me and Miles will go next time, maybe take some of the guys too.”
Mom smiles up at me, her arm still wrapped around my waist. “I think he’d love that,” she says, her words quiet. “So, what have you two been up to today?” she asks, just as Quinn’s phone starts to ring.
I watch as she looks at the screen before saying, “It’s Allie. Sorry, I should take this.”
I nod, and she walks up onto the front porch, phone to her ear.
“You’re in love with this one, aren’t you?”
I glance down at my mom, see the soft smile on her face as she looks up at me. Her words weren’t even really a question, more a statement of fact.
“I don’t know,” I say with a shrug. “I’ve never been in love, so I wouldn’t know what it feels like.”
Mom laughs, patting my stomach again as she says, “Yes, you have. You love your family and this island and surfing.”
“I mean, yeah,” I say with a laugh. “But that’s different.”
“Tell me,” she now says, moving so she’s standing in front of me, her hands gripping mine as she looks up at me, an easy smile on her face.
“Tell you what?”
“Do you think about her when you’re apart?” she asks, tipping her head in the direction of the porch.
“Every second,” I reply.
Mom’s smile widens. “And when you’re together...”
“When we’re together, I can’t stop looking at her or touching her or kissing her,” I say, my eyes on Quinn, who’s still on the phone. “I want to be with her all the time, Ma.”
“I know,” she says, squeezing my hands. “And when you do look at her, what do you see?”
I smile, the words out before I have a chance to stop them. “My future.”
She squeezes my hands again before letting them go, resting her palm against my cheek. “That’s what being in love feels like, Kai,” she whispers. “It looks good on you.”
I roll my eyes, smiling as I pull her into another hug. “Yeah, yeah, don’t go getting all mushy or whatever on me.”
Mom laughs as she pulls back. “I’m just happy you’re so happy,” she says.
“I am,” I confirm with a nod as Quinn hangs up the phone and looks over at us.
“Alright, well I’ll leave you to it. Come for dinner sometime this week, both of you,” she adds, looking up at Quinn, who’s walking back to us.
“We will. See you, Ma, and thanks again for the fish.”
I drop a kiss to the top of her head and watch as she hugs Quinn goodbye before driving off. Slinging an arm around Quinn’s shoulders, we head inside.
“Everything okay with Allie?” I ask.
“Yeah, she just wanted to let me know the first payment has been made and to say thank you again for the exclusive.”
“I get a good vibe from her,” I say as we head into the kitchen. Opening the fridge, I pull the fish out, along with two beers and some salad ingredients. “You okay with the mahi mahi for dinner?” I ask.
She smiles. “Only if you cook it. I have no clue how to.”
“Easy done, babe,” I say with a wink. “So how do you think today went?” I ask.
“Good. I agree, I get a good vibe from her too. She feels genuine, like she really wanted to hear my side of the story, all the good and bad parts.”
“Yep.”
“She wanted to know if I was okay with her mentioning that my parents died too.”
“Are you?” I ask, twisting a cap off one of the beers and handing it to her.
Quinn takes it, blowing out a breath before she takes a sip. “I am, yeah. I’ll let Isla know once I’ve heard the final edits, but it’s a part of everything. Why I fell for him, why I stayed. Why I stupidly wanted to have kids with him.”
I twist off the cap of my beer. “Do you still want to have kids?” I ask, that weird feeling that’s been in my chest all day intensifying again.
Quinn takes another sip of beer, her eyes never leaving mine. “I mean, yeah,” she eventually says. “But I don’t know, maybe it’s not going to be on the cards for me.”
I step toward her, my mom’s words, that weird feeling, all of it colliding together inside me. “Why?”
She shrugs, not answering as she takes another sip of beer.
“Talk to me, Quinn,” I whisper, closing the distance between us. I put my beer on the counter, my hands moving to her hips as I hold her in front of me.
“Because...because I’m getting older and this is new and...and...well, I don’t know. You probably don’t even want kids. You never even wanted a relationship, so I’m sure it’s not something you’ve ever really thought about.”
She’s rambling, the words falling nervously from her mouth as she takes another sip of her beer, looking anywhere but at me. I take the bottle from her hand, putting it on the counter beside mine before tilting her face back to me.
“I want a relationship with you,” I tell her, our gazes locked.
“I know,” she whispers. “But it’s brand new, Kai. Really new for you. I don’t expect you to even know how you feel about having kids or whether it’s something you want or—”
“I think I’m in love with you,” I blurt, cutting off her words.
“What?” she asks, her eyes widening.
“Actually, scratch that,” I say, smiling. “I don’t think, I know.”
“You...you do?”
“Well, I didn’t,” I tell her. “Because I’ve never actually been in love before. But then my mom asked me a bunch of questions about you and how I feel and shit, and she told me that that’s what it feels like to be in love, so yeah, I’m in love with you.”
Quinn blinks, swallowing hard before she suddenly bursts into laughter.
“Oh, so that’s funny to you, is it?” I ask, my hands squeezing her hips even as a nervous jolt zips through me at her reaction.
“No,” she says, shaking her head.
“So why are you laughing?”
She rests her hands on my chest, looking up at me. She says, “Because I cannot believe the one-eighty my life has taken these past few weeks. Sometimes it feels like a dream, like I’m gonna wake up and none of this will have happened.”
I slide my hands up to her face, resting them on the sides of her neck, my thumbs brushing along her jaw. “The only thing you’re going to wake up to, babe, is my mouth,” I whisper, leaning in to kiss her.
“Oh?” she murmurs.
“Uh huh,” I confirm, kissing a soft path along her jaw to her ear. “My mouth. On you. Everywhere,” I whisper.
“Kai,” she groans as I kiss the side of her neck before finding her mouth again.
“I’m all in on this, Quinn,” I say between kisses. “I want this with you. I love you.”
“Kai,” she says again, her hands on my chest gently easing me back.
“I know it’s fast. And I know this being my first relationship probably scares you because of who I was before.
So I don’t expect you to feel the same way or to say it back.
I just wanted you to know where I was at.
Wanted you to know that’s how I feel about you and that you don’t need to worry about this, us. ”
“I don’t,” she says, smiling up at me now. “I believe you when you say you want this.”
“You do?”
“Yes,” she confirms.
“And do you believe me when I tell you I love you?” I ask, those nerves once again jolting through me. Quinn nods, her bottom lip between her teeth as she looks up at me, a soft smile on her face.
“I do,” she says. “Because I feel the same way.”
“You...” I stop, wondering if I just heard her right, if what she said is what I think it is.
Quinn laughs, pushing up on her toes to kiss me. “I love you too, Kai,” she whispers against my lips.
I crush my mouth against hers, backing her up so she’s pressed against the glass doors that lead out to the back deck. I hear her breathy laugh as my hand grips the back of her neck, the other one moving to grab her hip.
“Yes,” I groan against her mouth, knowing in an instant the answer to her question. It hits me with a clarity I have never felt before, and the second it does, I know it’s everything I want too.
“Yes?” she asks.
“Yes, I want kids,” I murmur. “I want kids with you.”
She smiles, her arms wrapping around my waist. “Well, that’s good to know for the future.”
“No,” I say, shaking my head, needing her to understand. “I want to do this with you now, Quinn.”
“Kai, what?” she says with a laugh. “You literally just said I love you for the first time. Let’s take a sec.”
I pull back, gently squeezing the back of her neck. “I don’t need a sec, babe,” I tell her. “I love you, and I want to do this with you.”
“Yeah, but—”
Smiling, I shake my head. “You said it yourself, babe, you’re getting old, so really, we gotta get started, like, right now.” I’m teasing her, and I think she knows this, but still, I’m also serious.
“Okay, cheeky,” she replies, smacking my chest. “But we have time. We can wait a year.”
“I don’t want to wait a year,” I tell her. “I wanna knock you up now. Have babies with you now.”
“Babies?”
“Babies,” I confirm with a nod, a huge grin on my face as I picture a tribe of kids that are all a perfect blend of me and her. A tribe of kids that I know without a shadow of a doubt that I want with her.
“Oh my god,” she says with a laugh.
Chuckling, I give her another quick kiss as I say, “So yeah, we’re gonna try?”
She snorts out another laugh now as she says, “I don’t know. We don’t even live together. God, I don’t even know your middle name or your birthday or—”
“Babe,” I say. “All of that can be fixed.”
She exhales. “I know.”
“You want kids,” I remind her.
“I do.”
“And I want to give them to you. I want to have them with you,” I say, smiling.
“I do too,” she whispers, her eyes filling with tears.
“Okay. So let me just put this fish back in the fridge, and we can go get started.”