Chapter 3
Zane
Eighteen years.
It’s been eighteen years since I last laid eyes on Tessa Lane. She hasn’t changed much—her hair has a bit more copper threaded through the dark strands, and there’s a scar on her temple that wasn’t there before. But her eyes—those gorgeous, coffee-colored eyes—are still the same.
Haunted.
Full of fire.
I’ve dreamt of this day. Of seeing her again.
Because for the last eighteen years, I’ve thought she was dead.
The fact that she’s not is barely comprehendible.
As much as I want to celebrate the fact that the woman I’ve loved since we were kids is standing here with a pulse, now there’s another question that needs to be answered: Where has she been?
“Who hurt you?” I ask, trying my best to keep my tone level when all I want to do is pull her into my arms and praise God that she’s alive. That she’s safe.
That the woman I love didn’t die the day she disappeared. That her father didn’t murder her in cold blood and hide her body in a place no one could find it. Her disappearance has been the root of nearly every nightmare I’ve had since the day she vanished.
It’s been my biggest failure. Even considering the one six years ago that ended with me nearly spending the rest of my life in an off-books prison.
Now she’s here, and I can’t help but feel a bit betrayed even though I don’t know the whole story.
Did she choose to leave without a word?
Did someone abduct her?
Is that why she’s hurt now? Did she escape and come back?
“It doesn’t matter,” she says. “But I need to leave. It’s not safe.”
“You are absolutely safe.” The idea that she’d be anything but with me here is ridiculous. I’d die before I let anything happen to her. Time may have made me a tad more cynical, but that will never change. “Did you escape someone? Are they coming for you?”
I’ll hunt them down for you.
I’ll bring them to justice.
I’ll make you safe.
“Look, I know you were attacked. You had a stab wound in your upper thigh that needed stitches, as well as a bruise on your cheekbone and defensive wounds on your hands.” I reach back and drag the chair I spent all night in closer to the bed, before sitting down in it. “I just want to help, Tessa.”
Because I’m desperate, I reach for her hand but she rips it back and crosses her arms, closing her eyes and looking away from me.
“You can help me,” she says. “By letting me go.”
“Do you really think I can do that? It’s been eighteen years, Tessa. I’ve been searching for you. Everyone thought you were dead.” That last word is vile poison on my tongue, but it’s the truth I’ve been living with for far longer than I ever thought possible.
Losing her the first time nearly killed me.
I don’t know that I’ll survive the second time around.
“Clearly I’m not dead,” she says, keeping her gaze averted. “So you can stop looking and move on.”
So. Many. Walls. Every one of them thicker than concrete. It was like that in the beginning, too. She’d been terrified of letting anyone close enough to get through, but I’d finally convinced her I wasn’t going anywhere.
And I didn’t—ever.
“What took you away from me?”
Now she turns to me, eyes shimmering with unshed tears. “I did, okay? I walked away from you because I decided that we weren’t a good fit. I just didn’t know how to tell you that. But now you know.”
Lie. Tessa’s tell has always been her bottom lip. Whenever she’s lying, it quivers ever so slightly. “That’s not the whole truth.” Still, the words are razor blades in my heart because just like I know she’s lying, I can tell that part of it is the truth.
The question is…which part?
That she chose to leave? Or that it was because she knew we weren’t a good fit?
“If that were true, you couldn’t be bothered to call me? Leave a note? We were supposed to be getting married, Tessa.”
“I’m well aware.”
“Then why did you leave!”
She flinches at the anger in my words and I push up from the chair to get some distance. After walking toward the window of the hospital, I stare out at the bright ocean.
“I told you,” she says, voice all but a whisper. “We weren’t a good fit.”
“That’s a lie and you know it.” I remove my baseball cap and set it aside to run both hands through my hair.
Afterward, I replace it on top of my head and take a deep breath.
“Look, the why isn’t important right now.
Who attacked you?” Focus on the problem at hand. Then we can deal with everything else.
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know or you won’t tell me? I know it’s not your dad, given he’s six feet under, so who else would hurt you, Tessa? A boyfriend? Husband?” The words are foul as I speak them, but without much else to go off of, it’s the likeliest answer.
Her gaze turns furious. “Because anyone I’d be in a relationship with would be abusive, too?
Poor Tessa Lane can’t seem to settle down with someone decent.
” The hurt is there, plain as day, and I can’t help but wonder who put that idea in her head.
That just because her dad was abusive, that was the only future in the cards for her.
“I wasn’t trying to imply anything,” I snap, my own frustration cutting through the joy of seeing her again. “But those are the most likely scenarios and I’m just trying to help.”
She’s quiet a moment. “I’m not in a relationship at this time.”
The relief I feel is unwelcome. “Then tell me who hurt you.”
“I don’t know,” she repeats. “And asking me over and over again isn’t going to get you a different answer. I didn’t see him.”
“But you know it was a him. Do you know if someone sent him?” If it wasn’t a domestic violence situation that landed her here, and she’s afraid of someone finding her, it means she’s likely being targeted.
What has she gotten herself into? What has she been through since the last time I saw her?
“Why are you asking me? You’re my doctor, right? Isn’t it the cop’s job to question me?”
There’s no mocking in her tone. No insult. But the occupation she speaks of is nothing but remnants of a future I gave up on long ago. A dream that existed before my life was shattered by what I thought was her death.
“I’m not a doctor.”
Her eyes widen. “But you are.”
“No,” I reply. “I’m not.”
She continues staring at me a moment. “A cop then? Is that why you’re asking me questions?”
I take a deep breath. “Look, all you need to know is that I know how to handle difficult situations. It’s kind of what I do now. So if you’re honest with me, I might be able to help you. In order to do that, though, I need to assess the current threat.”
She’s quiet for a few moments. Am I finally getting through to her?
“You’re not a cop,” she finally says.
“No.”
“And you’re not my doctor.”
“No.”
Her gaze locks on mine and in this quiet moment, the tension between us becomes nearly unbearable. Finally she shifts her attention from me toward the door. “Then I want you gone.”
The words are a dagger to my already wounded heart. “What?”
“I want you gone. You heard me. Leave, Zane. I don’t want to see you.” The words are laced with agony, and her bottom lip quivers, but she refuses to look at me.
“You don’t mean that.”
“Yes, I do. Nurse Rose!” she yells.
Is she serious?
The door opens and Rose walks in, a curious expression on her face. “What is it, sweetie? Do you need something?”
“Yes. Him gone.”
Rose looks from Tessa to me, then back to Tessa, clearly confused as well. “Zane? Are you sure? Honey, Zane is the one who brought you here.”
“I understand.” Tessa refuses to look at me. “But yes, I’m sure that I want him gone and I don’t want him to come back.” Her voice breaks and her bottom lip quivers, but she maintains the statement.
Rose turns to me, her expression sympathetic. “I’m sorry, Zane, but—”
“I get it.” Reaching down, I grab my Bible and head toward the door. I pause before leaving, though, and turn to face Tessa who is still refusing to look at me. “They know how to get ahold of me if you need me, Tessa.”
“I don’t. I never did.” She closes her eyes and a tear slips free. “Leave, Zane.”
Even though it kills me, I do as she asked and leave the room. Rose closes the door behind me.
“Are you okay?”
“No,” I say. There’s no point in trying to hide it.
Rose has been a family friend for as long as I can remember.
She’d been there when my world fell apart after Tessa disappeared.
“I know you can’t tell me much, but will you make sure she stays safe?
She’s acting like someone might be coming after her. ”
“Of course, sweetie. She’s safe here. I’ll make the call to Leopold.”
“Thanks.”
She squeezes my arm. “Keep your head up, Zane. We don’t know where she’s been or what she’s been through. Give her some time to open up.”
“Yeah.”
“I walked away from you because I decided that we weren’t a good fit.”
Tessa’s words echo in my mind, but they are mismatched to the woman I knew before. Our relationship may not have been perfect, but there was never a doubt in my mind that we weren’t meant for each other.
I was hers and she was mine. Always and forever—that’s what had been before us.
Honestly, I don’t even believe what she’s saying now. Rose is absolutely right—there is more to this story. But if Tessa isn’t willing to see me, how will I ever find out?
“That ought to do it,” I say with a half-hearted smile as I finish placing the final book on the new bookshelf I built for my mom. It covers an entire wall in the living room of her single-bedroom duplex, and is already completely full. “But I think you need another shelf.”
She laughs as she carries two coffee mugs over and offers me one. “I think it looks perfect.”
“Have you actually read all of these?” I question as I take a seat on her couch.
“Most of them.” She sits down in her favorite armchair.
The duplex is much smaller than the home I grew up in, but seven years ago she sold it and downsized.
Doing so gave her the chance to pay cash for this place, then rent the other side out for profit.
She’d also insisted on giving my sister, Anastasia, and me the rest of the money to split.
I hadn’t needed it, so I used my half to invest in Anastasia’s coffee shop.
While there are plenty of days I miss standing in the same living room my dad once did, I know that Mom was happy to have a fresh start. The two-story, four-bedroom house was just too big for her once my sister and I moved out.
“What’s on your mind?” she questions, pulling my thoughts back to the present.
“Huh?”
“You’re a million miles away.”
“What makes you think that?”
My mom’s hazel gaze narrows on my face. “Because you get the same look your father did when something was weighing on him. What is it?”
How much do I tell her?
She’d grieved Tessa, too, and telling either her or Anastasia that Tessa bailed on me is just not something I want to do right now.
Not when I haven’t even finished processing it yet.
Though, even with Leopold keeping Tessa’s name out of any official reports, it’s only a matter of time before word gets around.
Someone will tell someone, and then my mom will be wondering why I didn’t tell her first. Anastasia will never let me hear the end of it.
So, I remove my baseball cap and run a hand through my hair.
“Oh, this is serious,” my mom jokes. “When the baseball cap comes off, I know to brace myself.”
“I found Tessa.” It’s the first time I’ve spoken those words out loud. When I’d gotten to the hospital with her in my arms, everything had been little more than a blur of movement where I hadn’t even had the chance to fully comprehend what was happening.
When I turn to my mom and see the tortured expression on her face, I know it’s because she’s worried I’m about to say that I found Tessa’s body. That what we always feared was the truth.
“What?” her voice is barely above a whisper. Face pale, she stares back at me with wide eyes. “Is she—”
“She’s alive. I guess it’s more accurate to say she found me. Sorry, should have led with that.” Leaning back against the couch, I toy with the bill of my hat. “She showed up on the boat last night, injured. She’s at the hospital now.”
My mom shoots up from her chair. “Then we need to go. Now. Is she okay? Where has she been? Why did you wait all this time to tell me? The books could have waited!”
And here’s the part that will break her heart. “She kicked me out of her hospital room. She doesn’t want to see me.”
Linda Knox’s gaze narrows on me again. “I don’t believe that for a second.”
“Call Rose, then. She was there. Saw the whole thing.” The bite in my words is directed at the wrong person, so I take a deep breath to calm myself. “It’s fine, Mom. Tessa doesn’t want me there, so I won’t be there. It’s as simple as that.”
My mom continues to study me. “Zane Knox, I have never known you to give up. Not once.”
“I didn’t give up. She kicked me out.”
“Who knows what that poor girl has been through.”
Woman now, I want to correct her. The girl Tessa had been is long gone, just like the boy I’d been has left, too. Life changed us. Molded us into two strangers.
“She’s family. And we need to be there for her,” my mother insists.
“I tried. The worst thing I can do right now is force my company on her. She needs to heal, and if I need to stay away for that, then that’s exactly what I’ll do.”
“We weren’t a good fit.” That’s what she told me. Whether I believe it to be the truth or not, I have to respect her wishes. I loved her once, and that love is worth at least that much still.
“Fair enough.” Mom offers me an understanding smile, but instead of taking her seat again, she crosses over to grab her purse and keys from the counter.
“Where are you going?”
“She kicked you out of her room, Zane. Not me. I’m going to go see our girl. I’ll let you know what happens.”
Fear that Tessa will break my mom’s heart washes over me and I lunge to my feet to try and stop her. “Mom, that’s not a good—”
“I know she may not be the same person she was, but I am. And I won’t let her lie there alone. She has no one else. So, I’m going to be there.”
“Mom—”
“Sweetie, I’m not letting this go. Now, you’d better go and make sure Anastasia knows so that your sister doesn’t hear it from someone else. She deserves to know, too.”
Knowing I’ve lost this battle, I nod. “I’ll lock up on my way out.”
“Good.” She crosses over and reaches up to pull me down for a hug. After planting a kiss on my cheek, Mom strolls out of her house, joy lacing every step.
Will Tessa welcome her?
Or will she also turn her back on the woman who tried to save her more than once?