Chapter 11
CHAPTER ELEVEN
After a night of cuddles and sweet, vanilla sex, Sonja and Derek went their separate ways in the morning. Both had errands to run, but they planned to meet up at Club Indigo that evening.
Sonja did her grocery shopping and made a trip to Victoria’s Secret to see what they had in the way of lingerie that might be appropriate for a Little. The last time she’d been there, they’d had a sale with a gorgeous babydoll nightie. Sadly, her size hadn’t been available. She hoped for better luck today. On the drive there, she thought about all that Derek had said, especially that he loved her. Was it possible? They had only known each other six weeks. They hadn’t yet established that she was the sort of Little girl he wanted.
She pulled into a parking space at Zona Rosa Town Center and turned off the engine. Her head was going ’round and ’round, and she was getting nowhere. Her gran had always told her when she wasn’t sure about how she felt about something, set it aside and let her mind figure it out without her help. She tried to put the question of love out of her mind and promised herself she wouldn’t dwell on it anymore.
She was happy to discover the store was having another sale, but she didn’t see anything like what she had been looking for when she came in. Sonja started to leave when another item caught her eye. It wasn’t a babydoll nightie but an elegant, full-length peignoir set in creamy satin with lace trim. The color would be perfect against her sepia complexion. It was also on the clearance rack for seventy percent off the original price and was in her size. How had she gotten so lucky? She pulled it off the shelf and was pleased that the fabric was as soft and silky as it looked. The lace was delicate and wouldn’t irritate her skin. She tried the robe on over her blouse and slacks. Not only was the sizing generous, but the set would fit her comfortably. She could have tried on the gown, too, but didn’t see the need. The top was designed so it provided support for her generous breasts. Before she could second guess herself, she was at the cash register paying for it. The lingerie gave her an idea for what to wear to the club that night, too. She would have a look in Wilma’s while she was at the mall. Maybe she would have what Sonja needed.
As the day went on, she found herself thinking about Monday and the biopsy. It did her no good to worry, but she had to consider all possibilities. How would she manage if it was cancer? She couldn’t depend on Derek. They had barely started a relationship, protestations of love on his part notwithstanding. If her father had abandoned them when her mother was diagnosed, why would Derek stick around? She would leave him out of any plans, for the time being, at least. A little voice inside tried to tell her Derek was not like her father, but Sonja couldn’t be sure. She wouldn’t put herself in the same position her mother had been in. By the time she left for Club Indigo, she had convinced herself that if the biopsy were positive for cancer, she would be on her own.
Derek was sitting at the bar nursing a glass of bourbon when Sonja entered, wearing a bright-red dress with makeup to match. Aside from the color, it looked like the dress Marilyn Monroe had worn in The Seven Year Itch, and Derek wondered what Sonja would look like if she stood on a subway grate in it. It seemed like she was trying to highlight her feminine traits over her inner child. They would have to see about that. Derek wasn’t sure what he had been expecting, but this femme fatale was definitely not it.
“Hello, Derek,” she all but purred. “How do you like my new dress? I got it especially for you.”
“Interesting choice, babygirl. What would you like to drink?”
Vodka tonic, please.”
“I don’t think that’s an appropriate drink for you. Especially if we’re going to play later.” Derek let a touch of sternness into his voice.
Sonja shrugged. “Maybe I don’t feel like playing tonight. Let’s dance instead.” She tried to move him from his barstool, but she would have been more successful moving a fully grown oak tree.
“Orange juice for Sonja, please, Scott. Child’s cup.”
“I said I wanted a vodka tonic,” Sonja demanded. “Scott, it’s my order, not his. I don’t need someone else’s permission to have a freaking drink.”
“The lady has a point, Derek,” Scott said. “She didn’t address you by title. That makes her a free agent in my book.”
“All right. Give the lady what she asked for.” Derek turned to Sonja. “What’s going on with you, babygirl? I thought we made some progress in our relationship last night.”
“Nothing’s going on. I just want a real drink.” Sonja shrugged. “And I’m not in the mood to play. That’s allowed, surely.”
“Of course, I wouldn’t force you to play, but I think you might have a different game going on tonight.”
Scott brought her drink, and Derek intercepted it. “Let’s go over to a table and we can discuss this further. You can have your drink, just over there.”
Sonja put on a pouty face that made Derek want to kiss her. Instead, he led her to a table in the darkest corner of the lounge. “Your drink, Madam.” He handed it to her with a flourish.
She inclined her head regally. “Thank you.”
“Not even a ‘Sir’ with the thank you?”
“If I call you Sir, then you can say I’ve agreed to power exchange, and I don’t want that tonight.”
“What do you want, Sonja?” He gentled his voice. He could tell something was off, but he was puzzled about what it could be after the previous night’s events. He didn’t think this was the way a woman reacted to being told she was loved.
“Right now, I want to be treated like an adult.”
“Okay. I can do that. Shall we have an adult conversation while we enjoy our drinks?” Derek kept his voice calm, although he wanted to put her over his knee.
“I’d rather have my vodka tonic first. Then, if you insist, we can talk. I’d rather dance.”
“Talk first, dance later. Maybe. If the conversation is satisfactory.” Derek’s temper was rising with every exchange, and he was struggling to keep his tone even. “What’s put you in this mood?”
“I don’t know what you mean, Derek .” Sonja’s voice cracked on his name. “I found this great dress when I was out shopping today, and it made me want to dance. I thought you liked dancing. And my dress has this great halter top you might want to open up later.”
Derek heard more than saw Sonja’s seduction attempt fall apart. Her sultry tone had vanished, and she sounded close to tears, although she still looked sexy enough to draw the attention of every straight man and lesbian in the place. He put a touch of dominance in his words. “Come over here, babygirl. Sit on my lap and tell me what’s really going on? Is this about Monday?”
Sonja downed the rest of her drink in one gulp and stumbled as she moved to Derek’s welcoming arms. “Why do you have to be so nice to me when I’m being a bitch?”
“Because I’m a nice guy? Because you’re beautiful even when you’re trying to throw a temper tantrum, and I can tell it’s not real?”
She dissolved into tears. “It wasn’t supposed to be like this,” she said through heaving sobs. “You were supposed to get mad and dump me.”
“Dump you? Why would I do that?”
Because I’m not a babygirl.”
“I love you, Sonja. We covered that last night. The rest, we’ll work out.”
“If I have c-cancer, it won’t matter. You’ll leave anyway.”
“Where did you get such an idea?” Now Derek was genuinely puzzled.
Tears streamed down her face as she spoke. “My father couldn’t handle my mother’s cancer, and he abandoned us. Why would you be any different? I thought it would be easier for you to leave now, and then I wouldn’t have to worry about when it would happen.”
“Did you consider the possibility that I wouldn’t leave you?” he asked quietly. Derek thought he understood her twisted reasoning, although he didn’t agree with it.
“No.” She sniffed. “Why would you stay with me?”
“Because I love you. I don’t see that changing any time soon, babygirl. Besides, this dress is gorgeous on you, and it looks perfect for dancing. You can’t convince me you’re not a Little with one dress and a vodka tonic. Do you even like vodka?”
She straightened in his lap. “As a matter of fact, I do.” She ruined her outrage with a giggle. “About once or twice a year.”
He chuckled. “Well, at least you’re tipsy on something you enjoy. Are you sober enough to hear me?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Good. Now pay close attention.” Derek put his hand under her chin. “I. Am. Not. Going. Anywhere. I Am. Not. Dumping. You.” He put his hands on both sides of her face as he continued. “You are stuck with me for the foreseeable future. Cancer or no cancer.”
“How can you be sure? You don’t know what it’s like. I’ll lose my hair. I’ll be throwing up all the time. Chemo is awful.”
“I am sure. Right now, you’re borrowing trouble. Stop it. You don’t know if you have cancer. I understand you’re trying to plan for the worst-case scenario, but me out of the picture is not part of that. I will be with you, whatever happens. You can’t get rid of me that easily. If you want to break up with me, you have to do it. You’re not going to get me to do it for you.”
“Okay.” Sonja’s tear-streaked face showed her relief. “What do you want to do now, Sir?”
“I’m going to get you a juice. I’d say we could dance, but not to the techno stuff they have on right now. How about we watch a scene? I think I saw Kate, Chris, and Yvonne go past a few minutes ago.”
“I need to go to the ladies’ room to clean up my face. Could I have water instead of juice, please, Sir?”
“Sure. Take your time, but I think you look beautiful with tear stains on your face.”
“Only a Dom would think that, Sir.” Sonja smiled through her tears. “I’ll be right back.”