Chapter 10 #2
Graham tilts his head, licks his lips. He’s thinking, trying to come up with scenarios and solutions.
Too damned smart for his own good. “That assumes I don’t want what you want to give me.
I’m pretty sure I want everything you want to give me.
I do. I know it’s soon and maybe that’s a bit too forward, but I do.
God, this is so lame. I’m not usually like this. ”
Colton shushes him with his mouth, tells him how good he is, how sweet. “You’re down far is all. Vulnerable and receptive. You can touch me all you want, baby. And anything you need, just ask me. I’ve got you. I love you telling me how much you want me.”
“Okay. You’re right. And I do. Want you. I do.” And he rests back against Colton, sighing into his collarbone.
“Is there any pain you don’t like? Stingy or thuddy?”
“I don’t know. I guess I never thought about there being a difference,” he says after a long moment.
It feels like another lie, but why would he lie about that?
“What if I whipped you and you bled?”
“Is that what you want?”
Colton can’t see Graham’s face and literally has no idea what he’s thinking about any of these questions. “What if I put you in a cock cage and didn’t let you come?” he asks, waiting for some reaction.
“That’s the second time you’ve mentioned caging. Wouldn’t the buildup be a problem?”
Colton shakes his head. “No, we would just have to be careful. Milk you a lot. Keep you drained, and if you’re not coming but you ingest mine, you’d be okay.
It’s a symbiotic relationship. I have what you need and you have what I need.
I think we could find a way to keep you even despite that cock of yours being locked away.
” And it would be Colton’s responsibility.
That’s the appeal. Graham couldn’t take care of himself and that would be okay because Colton would. He’d own Graham’s cock and his come.
“I can do that for you,” Graham says, almost bashful.
But does he want it? Hell, maybe he doesn’t know what he wants.
Maybe it’s unfair of Colton to expect him to know what he wants or might like when he’s so inexperienced.
And the experience he has had hasn’t been good.
He’d like for Graham to think of their time together as a fresh start
“Perhaps we try lots of things and see where we wind up? Get your toxins down, get you coming a lot, dropping down the right way and feeling good about everything, and then we experiment.”
“I don’t usually feel good about my designation.”
Colton holds him tight, gently rubs the side of his neck, his fingers digging into his tendons and glands. “Right. So it’s like a bad trip. And your designation is so high that you get a lot of toxin buildup quickly. How often do you come?”
Graham flinches, though it’s barely noticeable. But Colton’s holding him, so he notices. “After we were together, I came three or four times a day. I was hard all the time. But, um, after that it dropped off. Back to normal.”
“What’s normal?” He can tell Graham is trying to dodge the question.
Graham shrugs. “Depends. Once a day usually.”
“But sometimes less?” he guesses.
“Right.”
There’s no way that’s enough. And he’s pretty sure Graham is lying.
“Well, there you go. So, you don’t come and then it builds up more, you go on a mission and you have all this stress and adrenaline, and you crash hard because you can’t get balanced with drugs like a lot of people can.
It’s nothing to be ashamed of. I can’t either. ”
His brow is furrowed. “And you… who helps you with that?”
Ah. He wants to tell Graham that his past is behind him, that from now on he’ll have Graham and only Graham, but that seems presumptuous and optimistic. Hell, maybe it’s even a little bit creepy. They haven’t even spent the night together.
“I have a few partners I see regularly and you, um… you should probably do that too, to stay balanced.” A large part of his brain is telling him that he is a fucking idiot and the last thing Graham should be doing is trying to find another partner.
And Graham wouldn’t do it anyway. Hell, if Graham had a choice in the matter, he wouldn’t be a sub and he wouldn’t be here because he would never choose to need Colton in the first place. He’s about to take it back, say he misspoke, but Graham beats him to it.
“No,” Graham says, voice hard. He takes a step back, putting distance between them. “That’s not what I’m looking for. I want to belong to one person and I want that one person to be mine. I can take care of… my man.”
“Sounds like he’d be pretty lucky,” Colton says carefully.
Graham’s got a flush of anger and jealousy on his cheeks and he looks gorgeous.
“Yeah, he fucking would,” Graham growls. He turns and opens the glass door to step out, pissed.
“We’re still talking, Graham. You don’t get to leave in a fit of rage when the conversation isn’t over.
” He likes Graham jealous and it probably makes him a terrible person, but if this goes on for too much longer, he’s going to act on his arousal.
Graham all pissy and annoyed because he wants Colton to himself is something Colton wants more of in his life.
And the Dom in him, the high designation part of himself that gets off on a few things that make him quite a jerk sometimes, likes it too.
He wants to cajole Graham, push him, make him give in. Colton wants proof that Graham wants him despite himself. That even when he’s annoyed he still wants Colton. Maybe that’s too much to ask.
Colton’s going to ask anyway.
“What, you think I’m going to wait for you to excuse me? Get your permission? No. Screw you.”
“Yeah. That’s exactly what I think. Shut the door and stand where you were before.”
A blush comes to Graham’s cheeks and Colton drops a hand down, touches himself idly.
Graham looks, a long moment of watching Colton touch himself, then he swallows hard. He blushes more. He’s everything Colton wants.
Dragging in a breath, Graham exhales. His voice shakes. “I can’t share you. If that’s the test, then I fail. You found the one thing I can’t do. Congratulations.”
“You do have a safeword.”
The look he gives Colton is murderous.
“Saying it doesn’t make you weak, Graham. Now, come over here. Do what I asked you to. There’s a time and a place to be a brat. This isn’t it. Finish washing me so we can get out of here. You have an amazing water heater by the way.”
And then Colton gathers the nerve to turn around. To give Graham his back like he knows for a fact Graham won’t leave.
“Fuck you,” Graham says. “You said it was hard to let me go. You really think you’d put up with me seeing someone else at the same time as you?”
“No. Not at all. And if we wanted to pursue a relationship, I wouldn’t see anyone else either. It’d be you and me. That’s it. And the truth is, I already want that.”
“Then why didn’t you say that?” Graham says so loudly it echoes in the confined space.
Colton looks at Graham over his shoulder. “I was thinking about it. But then you decided to storm out. But look. You stayed and now things are alright. Aren’t they?” he says, like an asshole would. “Now, wash my back, baby. Then you’re going to make me come again. Lucky boy.”
“Stop… stop touching yourself. Just… be serious.”
“I don’t joke about orgasms, sweetheart. God, you make me hard. Come on now.”
Graham isn’t moving. His voice is pained, almost lost. “Why does this make me want you more? I’m pissed and I don’t want you to have lots of people on the side. If we’re going to do this, then I want it to be me and only me.”
“Well, I didn’t say lots. That makes it sound sordid. And, yes, I’m willing to give up other people for you.”
That doesn’t seem to make Graham any happier.
“You’d give up multiple lovers for me? I’m a terrible sub!
I can’t—I don’t believe you,” he says, voice rising.
He sounds panicked. This has gone on long enough and he isn’t quite sure he can get Graham in a good place with more discussion. Designation is about action.
“Sweetheart, this conversation is over now.” Colton turns around, takes Graham’s hand, and brings it to his cock. “I want to come. That’s your job. Do it.”