Chapter 14
They’re on the plane back and Graham is in and out of consciousness.
He woke up, started shaking so badly they thought he was seizing, and they gave him an IV with drugs to stabilize him.
He pulled the line out and been sedated heavily.
Every time he comes out of the dark and regains consciousness, it feels like his skin is on fire.
His blood is like ice and if it meant this could all be over, then he’d be pretty happy to just die.
At some point, someone puts a phone next to his ear and it’s Colton saying sweet things to him, promising Graham that he’s going to take care of him, that he’ll be waiting. Graham doesn’t respond but he goes to sleep listening to the sound of his voice.
Colton is going to be the only Dominant for him. The great love of his life that he’ll give his heart and his body to. And for Colton, Graham will just be another submissive he fucked for a while before moving on.
Colton can’t want him. Not really. And he definitely won’t once he gets to know Graham. It won’t matter what sort of contract he gets or how much he gets paid, there isn’t enough money in the world to make a Dominant like Colton want Graham for any length of time.
He welcomes the relief of unconsciousness.
Time passes and he hears different people chatting around him, coming to check on him, but he has no idea what they’re saying.
It seems like a lot of work to pay attention to the words, so he doesn’t bother.
He’s in pain. He needs Colton. And then he remembers the conversation with Jonah and he lets himself drift farther down and away. It’s a horrible shock to remember.
Over and over Graham wakes up, feels pain, longs for Colton, calls aloud for him, and then he remembers Jonah.
It raises another question: what’s the point of being in the world when it’s just death and struggle and people doing their duty to placate the special snowflake a few scientists made of him?
Why is he here when he’s a burden? What’s the fucking point of it all?
And then he could swear he hears Colton’s voice, so he forces himself to swim back up to consciousness.
“How long has he been like this?” Colton says, and he sounds like he’s in the room with them. He tries to open his eyes, needing to know.
“Four hours.” He has no idea who that is.
“What did he get besides drugs?” Colton demands.
“He rejected most medical treatment. Rejected sex, of course. We need his consent for anything beyond drugs.”
“He clearly isn’t capable of making these decisions if this is the outcome. If everyone knows it, then why—fuck this. I’m not arguing with you. This all ends. Get out.” The rage in his voice, the barely controlled violence drags Graham awake and he opens his eyes.
Colton is standing over him. His lips are pressed tight and he makes a visible effort to smile down at Graham. He sinks down beside him, runs a hand through Graham’s hair, kisses him lightly on the forehead. “How’s my sweetheart?” he asks.
“Been better.” He likes being called sweetheart. He turns his head, gets Colton’s wrist under his lips and tastes his skin, swipes his tongue over the area, and then he’s panting, needy, shoving forward clumsily, and he almost falls off the bunk.
“Jesus. Wait. Stop. You have to stay where you are.” Strong hands are keeping him still. Colton looks worried.
“How did you get here?” Graham asks. His mouth is dry, his head is pounding, and he aches in a bad way everywhere.
“You’re home, baby. I came to meet you.”
“I don’t feel good.”
“I can tell. Let’s get you in a better place so we can go home.”
Colton pushes Graham to his back and undoes his pants, reaches in and palms Graham’s soft cock. Which, under different circumstances, would be stupidly hot. The proprietary way he does it, without even asking, is perfect.
“When was the last time you came?”
He doesn’t know. Doesn’t really care. He just wants to sleep and sleep forever. “With you.”
Colton is stroking him lightly, takes a moment and pulls out a packet of lube from his pocket and puts some into his hand before wrapping his fist back around Graham’s cock. Graham arches weakly into the touch.
“That’s better. Look at you half-hard already for me. Good boy.” Is he? Doesn’t feel like it.
Graham just lies there, waiting, watching Colton. Colton’s hand drops down to Graham’s balls, rolls them, pulls on them so hard and good that his hips rock up, wanting more.
“There you are. We’re gonna get you through this, I promise,” Colton says, but ten minutes later Graham still hasn’t come. He isn’t hard enough.
Because Graham has remembered. Jonah. He’s been trying to push it away, to keep his mouth shut, but it’s there and more real than the Dominant before him. He can barely feel Colton’s hands on him. Like he has no body. No heart and no home.
Who else has Colton made promises to? The conversation he’d had with Jonah is repeating verbatim in his head. The joy of an eidetic memory.
This isn’t his Dominant. He wouldn’t choose Graham if the military wasn’t making him.
He’d choose an easy slut like Jonah. That’s what Colton likes.
What Colton hasn’t wanted to talk about.
His past. As if he’d really be content with just Graham.
A broken-down, overly large submissive no one wants and who can’t come without massive effort.
He doesn’t make Dominants feel good. And now he knows the truth about Colton, so he should let the man go.
“You’re gonna come for me, honey.”
He isn’t. He wants to die. If he can’t have Colton, then he doesn’t want to go on. And now Colton is disappointed in him. He throws an arm over his eyes, hiding. “Don’t. Don’t want to be here with you like this,” Graham rasps.
“Don’t be ridiculous.”
He grabs Colton’s hand, holding on tight. “I know. So go. Do whatever you want. You don’t owe me anything. Get someone better, someone you choose.”
“What the hell are you talking about? I only want you. There is no one better.”
Graham laughs, bitter and miserable. “Maybe you can catch Jonah on the way out.”
The hand on his dick pauses. “Jonah? He was on your mission. Well, fuck,” Colton says on a heavy sigh.
“Graham, it was casual. It was nothing. And we can talk it through in a little bit, but right now we’ve gotta get you more stable.
Get out of this plane and get you home. I don’t want you to go to medical, baby. ”
Colton puts more lube on his fingers and is suddenly pressing against Graham’s hole, a finger in and deep. Graham groans and feels a spasm in his balls. A sharp pain.
“Are you alright?” Colton is treating him like glass.
If Colton really wanted Graham, he wouldn’t treat him like he was fragile.
The fact that he can control himself tells Graham everything he needs to know.
What sort of high-level Dominant can control himself with a submissive that is supposedly his match?
“No. Feels wrong.” He doesn’t just mean his body; he means the two of them.
Colton is downright clinical. Brow furrowed, fully dressed and distant. Bet Jonah didn’t get this version of Colton. Colton had been insatiable, demanding with Jonah. Isn’t that what Jonah said? Did Colton let himself go with Jonah?
Graham’s never seen that before. Can barely imagine it when this gentle fondling and tender care is what he gets. Jonah experienced Colton in a way Graham won’t. He didn’t even get fucked when they were together.
Colton hadn’t needed him enough.
Really, Colton is just Graham’s nurse. The reality is so fucking obvious now.
“I know, baby. I know.” The tip of a finger slides over Graham’s prostate.
“Oh, sweetheart. You’re so hot and swollen.
” Colton presses another finger into Graham and Graham turns his head away, trying to get on top of the emotional pain, wanting to hide away in a corner.
The fingers are deep, rubbing, and Graham’s body is spasming weakly.
He’s responding but not in a way that any Dominant would find satisfying.
“We’ll get you there. Don’t worry, sweetheart. Can you look at me?” Colton’s free hand is on Graham’s cock again, pressing hard into the glands deep under his balls. “This is going to hurt. Look at me.”
Graham shakes.
“Look at me,” he orders again, and Graham does.
“Do you like to see me hurt?” He prays Colton says yes.
Colton just looks concerned. His gaze narrows like he’s trying to figure something out. He shakes his head, smiles weakly. “Just be good and let’s fix you up.”
Colton’s fingers press in and the pain radiates outward, is unbelievable and breath-stealing. And then it’s gone and physical relief washes over him.
“There you go. Once we get you started, you’ll leak all over for me, won’t you?”
Colton takes his fingers out of Graham’s ass, wipes them on a cloth, and pulls Graham’s pants and underwear off, his gaze sliding away from Graham’s naked body.
Which is further confirmation that this is all bullshit.
If Colton wanted him, he’d have fucked him.
He wouldn’t even have taken Graham’s clothing off.
He’d just have shoved into him and bred him like an animal.
Primal instinct to help his submissive. Like Mack.
A submissive in distress gets choked on cock until they pass out, and all is fine.
Colton won’t even try to do that to him.
Instead, Colton reaches into a bag and comes out with a ring made of silicone. Did the doctor give this to him? He isn’t naturally inspired, so he’s taking tips from some random person about the most effective way to make a submissive come?
What works is a cock in his ass or his throat. What would Mack think if he saw this? How impersonal and cruel this is?