33. Chapter 33
Chapter thirty-three
Evander
Ev stayed cautious as he followed along behind Ozzy and Jamie. Clearly, Jamie was questioning. He didn’t pick the most peaceful time to do it, but Evander couldn’t really blame him. Ev would have killed for a bunch of gay adults around to answer any of his questions when he was trying to figure his own shit out.
But his chest was tight because of Ozzy. They’d been together in some fashion or another for a long time. Evander knew his whole story, his relationship with his family. This had to be pinging off all his danger bells. A kid from a rich family questioning his sexuality—at least that’s what it seemed to be; they’d find out for sure soon enough—and nervous about it. Ozzy didn’t share all the details about anything in his life, but Evander knew them, and he’d gotten a front-row seat to how they still treated him for being gay.
When they got to the hair and makeup trailer, Ozzy looked at Corinne, the main makeup artist for the crew. Evander cringed in advance, but Ozzy…well, he wasn’t mean, that was for sure. He was brusque, though. “We need the trailer.”
Corinne blinked. “What?”
“The trailer. Privacy. Talking. Without you around.” With his left hand—he still had his right on Jamie’s shoulder—he waved toward the door. “I don’t want to get bitchy about this, but I will.”
Corinne didn’t move. She darted a look to Evander. When he nodded, she seemed to relax a little bit and finally headed around Ozzy. The two hair stylists and the other makeup artist followed her out.
Ozzy sighed and led Jamie to one of the chairs, then took one for himself. “Okay.” He turned off his mic pack, then grabbed for Evander’s and switched his off as well. “Nothing’s getting in or out of here, kiddo.”
Jamie nodded, but he didn’t say anything. Every muscle in his body was tense and his face was pale.
Evander pulled another chair around and sat next to Ozzy. “Hey. Jamie. Everything’s good. You don’t need to be scared right now. I know you must be pretty nervous about something to come to a couple of old homosexuals like us.”
It got a smile, which was better than before.
So Evander kept pushing. “Tell you what. You talk whenever you want. We can just put something on the TV here in the meantime, yeah?” They didn’t get cable or satellite in the trailers or anything like that, but it was better than complete silence.
Or at least it would have been if Jamie hadn’t started talking again before Ev could find the remote. “It’s just…I’m pretty sure I’m gay. Or bi. Or something. I like guys.” Jamie’s fists were balled up against his thighs as he spoke and his face was no longer pale, instead flushed a deep pink. “But what if I’m wrong?”
“Then you’re wrong.” Ozzy’s voice was as matter-of-fact as Evander had ever heard it. He looked straight at Jamie, unfazed. “Is it going to be a problem if you’re wrong and you have to change your mind, do you think?” He jerked a thumb toward his chest. “I convinced myself I was bi for a long time because in my head, that was easier to swallow. At least I could like girls. It wasn’t who I am, though. Eventually came around to that. Not that there’s anything wrong with being bi or anything else. Just not my truth.”
Ev nodded, happy to try and shore up that fact. “Plenty of bi folks in both of our orbits.”
Jamie nodded, but he wasn’t looking at Evander even a bit. All his focus was on Ozzy. “Nobody got mad about it when you realized you were gay?”
Evander’s belly tightened and it took all his energy to stay calm and even. Evander knew what had gone down. Bi, his parents had been able to grit their teeth with because, as Ozzy said, settling down with a girl was still an option. Zero question where he picked up that attitude to begin with. Gay had been a screaming match that ended with him staying at Evander’s place. When he did eventually go back, his parents pretended that they’d never heard anything and Ozzy was as straight as the day was long. Which was a stance they never budged on, even when he would bring Ev to dinners at their place.
Evander was ready to change the subject if need be, but he wasn’t going to jump in unless it seemed like Ozzy was going to lose his shit in front of a scared teenager. Have to give him the chance. Jamie’s paying attention to him, not me .
Ozzy sighed. “People got mad.” His voice stayed low and deep, body tensed up from his legs all the way to his jaw.
Then he offered a tiny half a smile and something sparkled in his eyes. “Nobody important, though.”
Jamie exhaled loudly. “What does that mean, though? Nobody important?”
“That means anyone who doesn’t accept you figuring your own shi—” Ozzy closed his eyes laughed at himself. “Your own crap. Anyone who doesn’t accept you figuring your own crap out the way you need to isn’t important. They can screw right off in most cases.”
Not perfect, but not bad . Evander finally spoke up. “Who is it you’re worried about? Or is it just kind of all over the place worry?”
Evander certainly didn’t miss the new sharpness in Ozzy’s attention, waiting for the answer. And if it wasn’t the one he wanted to hear, Ozzy would be in that house screaming faster than it would take to strike a damn match.
And maybe I wouldn’t stop him.
Jamie shook his head. “I don’t know. Everyone? The world? Everyone from school?” He spread out his arms and rolled his eyes, a bit more of the tension stripping out of his muscles. Just a bit, though. “I don’t live in some awesome, accepting, inclusive city.”
Evander nodded, but before he could say anything else, Ozzy pushed into the conversation. “I’m going to level with you. You’re old enough to hear it straight.” He smiled at himself. “Or not straight.”
And he got a smile back from Jamie, however small.
Ozzy leaned forward, diminishing the gap in height that existed between himself and Jamie so he was looking the kid directly in the eye. “I grew up in a small town too. Smaller than this, and a while ago. People had a lot to say to me about coming out. Constantly. Still the best decision I ever made and I’d do it a million more times. That doesn’t mean it’s got to be something you’re ready to do right now. Only you can figure out when it’s the right time for you . But don’t let the fear of other people’s opinions be the thing that stops you.”
Damn . Evander caught himself grinning and forced his face a little bit flatter. He didn’t want to focus this conversation on Ozzy, but it was undeniably sweet to see how he was treating Jamie. Not convincing me I want to be just friends, that’s for sure.
Jamie blew out a shaky breath. After a few seconds, he nodded. “Then…is it weird if I tell you two that I think I’m bi before I tell anyone else?”
Evander pressed a hand to his chest in mock shock. “What? I had no clue.”
“Absolutely stunned.” Ozzy leaned back, shrugging. “Going to need some time to process that. Seems like it just came out of nowhere.”
Jamie gave a real laugh, a little snort. Then he got up out of the chair. “I guess now I tell the family. Should wait until this is all done, right?”
Ozzy bobbled his head side to side. “Kind of depends on whether they noticed you disappearing into a trailer with a couple adults you barely know.”
“Who kicked out all the hair and makeup folks to get some privacy.” Evander looked pointedly to Ozzy. “I think we might have made a bit more of a scene than intended.”
Ozzy nodded. “Sorry about that.”
Jamie shook his head, even though his shoulders pulled back higher again. “It’s okay. I’m not worried about anyone here freaking out.” He nodded to Evander. “Just all over kind of worry about that, I guess.”
Evander glanced back to Ozzy and saw him lose a touch of color from his face. He almost immediately smiled, but there was clearly something in there that touched him, surprised him. Ev knew how to read Ozzy’s face after all this time.
A knock at the trailer door broke everything else. Ozzy and Evander looked at each other, then Evander nodded and headed for the door while Ozzy stood and moved behind, clearing the way for Jamie to do this the way he needed.