35. Chapter 35
Chapter thirty-five
Evander
The mother-in-law apartment was a mess, obviously. They’d packed everything inside as hastily as they could and threw up some of the leftover masking paper from painting to cover the windows and the sliding door. Which made it dim and cramped and not large enough to hide that many people.
But they didn’t need to hide that many people. Just two.
Evander never let for go of Ozzy’s hand, clammy and dirty as it was. They weaved through all the furniture and tools, down the short hallway, and into the bedroom, which had mostly been left intact. There was a little pile of paints and stains and other half-used cans and bottles in one corner, but most importantly, there was a bed. Not fully set up, but it was a place to sit, secluded from everyone and everything else. The rest of the crew was in hiding somewhere or had headed back to the hotel. Whatever. That was their business.
Ozzy was his business.
They sat and, finally, Evander let go of his hand. “You okay?”
A long silence. Ozzy raked his fingers back through his hair. “I’m sorry. In my head. I need to apologize to Mason.”
“Later. Are you okay?”
Ozzy looked across at him, mouth slightly agape. “She thanked me for talking to Jamie. And she hugged me.” He sounded so frail and so young. A lot like he had that night when he showed up crying at Evander’s door all those years ago.
Ev reached up and grabbed his shoulders, holding him steady. “You don’t even seem like you’re all here, Ozzy.”
He closed his eyes. His shoulders vibrated. A shaking breath passed over his lips before he finally opened his eyes again. “That was hard.”
Ev smiled and slowly, carefully wrapped one arm around Ozzy. He had to take the temperature of the situation instead of jumping straight—
Ozzy leaned into the hug, resting his head on Evander’s shoulder. Ev wrapped his other arm around Ozzy and squeezed. “It’s okay. I know this must be a lot.”
Another shuddering breath from Ozzy. After a few more seconds, he pulled back just far enough to make eye contact with Evander. “Thanks for being there for all of it. I know this isn’t what you were signing up for.”
“Sure it is.” Ev held his face in his hands. “It’s what friends do, right?”
“Yeah. And I know that’s not what you wanted.” Ozzy leaned his head against Ev’s hand, pinning it briefly between his ear and his shoulder. A tiny smile pulled at his lips. A familiar smile. A smile that was reserved for the bedroom.
Evander’s body ached to go along with the old signals. They had a bed for Christ’s sake, and no one was going to be walking in on them any time soon. They had to stay in hiding at least until Melanie’s parents left. It would be so easy to let that smile turn into a kiss, then turn into feeling each other up, then turn into so much more without anyone having a clue.
When Ozzy parted his lips, Evander pressed a hand to his chest, holding him in place. “Listen. I want to. But not without talking first. We’re not repeating the same patterns, right?” Ozzy just blinked at him, so Ev continued. “I could give in right now and fuck you silly, then come back for seconds. But you and I have so much history…is it just that? Falling into a familiar routine again? Or is this really something you want?”
Ozzy sighed, mouth closing. He squeezed his eyes shut so hard his nose scrunched. “You’re right.” It was strained coming out of his throat, but he did manage to get it out. His face relaxed just enough for him to crack his eyes open. “And I know it. But maybe I like that pattern. Maybe that pattern sounds good right now.”
“Fuck, that pattern sounds great right now.” Evander mussed his hair with one hand. “But so does some ecstasy and I don’t think we should be doing that, either.”
Ozzy snorted a laugh. “You’ve never done E.”
“Ozzy, am I known for lying? We did have two whole years since we broke up. Plus all those off-again stages when we were dating. You don’t know what illicit substances I used.”
Ozzy raised an eyebrow. “Acid?”
“Nope.”
“Ketamine?”
“Once. Didn’t care for it. Lost, like, sixteen hours and swore it off.”
“Yeah. Not my favorite.” Something lit off in his eyes. “Shrooms?”
“Great the first time, bad trip the second time. It’s why I never fell in love with idea of dropping acid.”
“Damn. Maybe you are more adventurous than me.” He leaned back. “You think getting drunk would be smart?”
“Couldn’t fucking hurt, right?”
“I mean, it could. Remember the graduation party?”
“Of course I remember it. Bunny and Aras got so wasted they decided to go dancing on the roof of that house.”
Ozzy nodded. “And none of us were sober enough to try and talk them out of it.”
“Robinson was. They just didn’t listen.” A broken arm and thirty-six stitches between the two of them kind of proved he was right, though. “At least it was only a one-story house.”
“With grass. I can’t imagine if we ever did anything at my parents place, with all that concrete and the rock garden out front.” He laid all the way back on the bed, and even though they weren’t going to go further than that hug, Evander did take the opportunity to peek as his shirt rode up, exposing his abs and his waistband. He didn’t linger, but he couldn’t help himself.
“Hey,” Ozzy grumbled. “You can’t tell me to hold back, then gawk.”
Evander darted his eyes away. “I was hoping you wouldn’t notice.”
“Not a lot of other places to focus my attention.”
Evander shrugged, then lifted up the hem of his own shirt for a couple seconds. “There. Now we’re even.” He laid down next to Ozzy on the bed, making sure to leave a little space between them. A respectful amount of space. He looked up at the freshly painted ceiling and the exposed wires, waiting for the light fixture to be installed. “So do you want to talk about it, or no?”
“No.” There was no anger or harshness in the word, but no defeat either. A simple, firm decision.
“Okay.” They would just lay in that bed and wait.
Ozzy did take Evander’s hand, though, and whisper, “Thanks.”