Chapter 33
PARKER
The second I walked into O’Malley’s, I wanted to turn around and go back. If Beck hadn’t spotted me and called me over to the bar, I would have. Instead, I walked the distance from the door of our trusted corner pub to my friend and sat on a stool.
Before I said a word, a cold beer was in my hand.
“On the house.” I wasn’t sure how Beck knew, but he did. “Be right back,” he said, heading over to another customer. There weren’t many of them on a twenty-degree Wednesday night. Thankfully.
“What’s up?”
I looked from the bottle to my friend as Beck waited. After that night in the kitchen, none of us had uttered Mae’s name. No one said a word. But I could tell Beck was still not himself, and maybe that was how he knew I wasn’t myself either.
“Delaney.”
If I said any more, I’d sound like some pathetic asshole. “She didn’t block her ex.” Since when was I the jealous type? Especially of a guy like that. But when I saw his name on Delaney’s phone, I hadn’t been able to think straight.
“That’s not a lot to go on,” Beck said finally.
“I know.”
It probably wasn’t the answer he’d been expecting. But it was the only one I had.
“Give me a minute.” Beck headed to the opposite end of the bar to fill a drink order for the waitress.
In the meantime, I stared at my bottle, waffling between sending Delaney a text, apologizing for leaving, abandoning my beer and heading back to her house, and my current course of action—to sit here and do nothing.
Turns out, I went with option three.
“Hey,” a gruff voice from behind said.
Mason sat on the stool next to me.
“What are you doing here?” I knew for a fact he and Pia were supposed to be at dinner. They’d asked us to go along, Delaney being off tonight, but we’d already planned for a solo night at her house.
“I dropped Pia off and came over.”
Since it was all he said, Mason not a man of many words, I took a guess at how that had happened.
“Beck texted you?”
“I did.” Beck slid Mason’s drink to him.
“I was just pulling into the inn,” Mason said. “Pia was tired and told me to come solo.”
“You didn’t have to come at all,” I said. “Everything is fine.”
“Oh, yeah? Doesn’t look fine.” Mason took a swig of beer.
I closed my eyes. Tried to block everything out, but that didn’t make the vision go away.
My mother’s head was down, at the kitchen table.
She was crying so hard, I’d turned and walked away.
Seeing her like that had been a shock. Of course my mother had cried before.
She did it a lot, actually. Sad movies. While reading books.
My mother was as sentimental as they got.
But I’d never, ever, heard her cry like that.
I waited in my bedroom for her to come and explain. Tell me who died. Or was sick. But she never came, and I’d been too afraid to ask what was going on. It wasn’t until she came to tuck me in, hours later, that I asked her what was wrong.
“Nothing for you to worry about,” she’d said. Too young to press her on it, I accepted Mom’s words and went to bed. It was more than six months later that I’d pieced two and two together when my brother overheard an argument between my parents.
My mother had cried alone at the kitchen table because she found out my dad had cheated. It was the first, but not the last, time.
The worst part? I confronted my father, though not at first. I could remember his words to this day.
It just… happened. No one sets out to cheat on their wife. I loved your mother. Wouldn’t have married her otherwise. But even the strongest of us has a weak spot. Who knew mine would be fidelity?
It never made sense to me. How could something like that just… happen? And if he hadn’t intended it, loved my mother like he’d said, could anybody find themselves in a similar circumstance?
Me?
Delaney?
“You look like shit,” Mason said.
“Thanks.”
“It’s bad,” he said to Beck.
“I know. That’s why I told you to come. Parker,” he said to me. “This isn’t you. What’s up?”
I wanted to confide in my friends. Not long ago, we did the same when Beck found out the love of his life was getting married.
And when Mason and Pia hit a rocky patch before he decided to quit the force and take over the inn, the normally stoic former Army Ranger talked to me about it.
There was no reason for me not to do the same.
But I couldn’t.
“Maybe I shouldn’t have stayed the night.” I saw Mason and Beck exchange a look. It didn’t matter. What was done was done. Next steps were mine alone to take.
“I don’t know what’s going on,” Mason said. “But I do know what Pia tells me about how Delaney feels about you.”
“How she feels about me now,” I clarified. “There’s no doubt she likes me, but is that enough?”
“Pretty sure her feelings are stronger than that,” Mason said. “As to your question. You know as well as I do, there’s no future. No past. Just the present.”
He was right. The guys were no fortune tellers.
“You still going to Cole’s tomorrow?” I asked Beck.
“Yeah. You thinking of coming?”
“If you can wait until lunch. I’ll head into work early and finish up by then. Friday shouldn’t be a problem since the school is having some special event so we can’t get in there. Working the weekend instead.”
“Sounds good to me.” Beck was clearly thrilled to have the company.
He walked away, to a customer. Mason and I didn’t say anything for a while.
“Just do yourself a favor, buddy,” Mason said finally. “Don’t make the same mistake I did with Pia.”
“What’s that?”
“Letting the past haunt me. Almost fucked things up for good. You know it as well as anyone.”
And that was it. We didn’t talk about Delaney for the rest of the night.
But I did text her.
I shouldn’t have left. It wasn’t about the text. It was about me. I grew up believing love meant betrayal, and when I saw that message, I panicked. Truth is, I don’t want to be that guy. I want to trust this. Trust you. If you’ll let me.
She never responded.
* * *
Driving into Manhattan was also a real joy. By the time we found a spot on Cole’s street, it was well past four. Dropping our bags off in his apartment, we were in The Midnight Owl by four thirty.
I’d been here a few times before. It was quintessential Cole.
“Do you need an IQ over one-twenty to get into this place?” Beck asked as we walked inside. Vintage decor, dim lights and more tweed than probably in all of Greenwich Village, it had a definite vibe.
“One-thirty,” Cole said dryly.
“So, like, 2 percent of the population? Doesn’t seem like a sustainable business model.”
I looked at Cole. He nodded and shrugged.
It was something we did often, silently verifying a Beck-fact that seemed too specific to be right, but usually… it was. The guy really did hide his intelligence well. Most of the time.
We were there less than an hour when Cole introduced us to the guy with the log cabin. I swiveled around on my stool, and he declined my seat but said he wanted to thank me for meeting with the contractor.
“It was no problem at all,” I said. “Did you get them to fix it?”
“I did,” Cole’s professor friend said. “And Cole tells me you might be getting into the log cabin construction business?”
“I’m working on a loan now,” I said, leaving out the part about waiting for my new stepmother to get acclimated to her new job. I wondered what her adult children thought of her up and moving, after getting married, of course, to a new town.
“Good for you. I have the name of the guy who did mine if you want it? I’m sure he’d talk to you. Really nice fellow. He took over for his father who recently retired. They did a great job, I think. But what do I know about home building?”
“They definitely did a good job. I’d love the contact, if you don’t mind.”
“Not at all.”
When I pulled out my phone to put his number in there, a familiar name filled my screen. Swiping up, I cleared Delaney’s text for now and exchanged information with him. We chatted for a few more minutes before he moved on.
“Cole,” I said, standing and handing him my credit card. “Get him a drink, and another round for us. I’ll be right back.”
Before he could refuse it, I shoved my card into his hand and walked away, through the crowd and out the front door. It was freezing as hell, but I couldn’t hear for shit in there. Hitting a few buttons, I waited.
She picked up immediately.
“Hey.”
The bar door opened. I stepped off to the side.
“Hey.”
Closing my eyes, I could picture her. Delaney in the hot tub. Delaney in our bedroom in the log cabin. Scene after scene played through my mind like a mini-movie of our short but fun-filled courtship.
“Glad you called.”
“I just saw your text,” I said.
“I got yours from last night.”
She sounded sad. Defeated. The opposite of the Delaney I knew.
“I wasn’t sure you got it,” I said.
“Honestly, I didn’t know exactly how to respond. I appreciate that you opened up and can understand why you panicked. But I can’t take it back, not blocking him. And don’t have any other reason for it except the one I gave you.”
I believed her. “I know.”
“Do you?”
“Yes, I do.”
She sighed. “I wish you hadn’t left.”
So did I. “Do you remember what we talked about, in the beginning?”
“We’re just two not-terrible-looking people, afraid of commitment, who like cupcakes. That part?”
“Yeah.” I smiled, despite how shitty this felt. “That part.”
“Of course I do. But I also remember the guy in the horse-drawn carriage who asked me to be his girlfriend.” She sighed. “But this doesn’t feel like a Cinderella story.”
“We never did look back. Maybe the carriage did turn into a pumpkin and we didn’t see it.”
“And maybe we’ll get a happily ever after too.”
I hoped so. “I don’t want to hurt you, Delaney. That’s the last thing I want.”
“I know,” she said, echoing my words. “Where are you guys?”
“A place called The Midnight Owl. A bar full of Cole-types.”
“Sounds like fun.” I could hear the smile in her voice, which made me feel a little bit better.
“That’s yet to be determined.”
“Go ahead,” she said. “Have fun with Cole. After I didn’t get back to you, I just… wanted to explain. Or at least tell you that I wasn’t playing games or trying to stonewall you. I just didn’t know what to say to make it right.”
I knew the feeling. “I hear you,” I said. “Talk when I get back?”
“I’m staying at my parents’ tomorrow night.”
“Oh, that’s right, the surgery is tomorrow. Text me and let me know how it goes.”
“Will do.”
“Alright. Talk soon.”
Cupcake.
I left that part unsaid.
“Bye, Parker.”
Hanging up, I looked at my phone, hoping I wasn’t too late to fix this.