Chapter 4 #2
I don’t realize I’m squeezing Damien’s fingers until I feel my nails digging into the palm of my empty hand.
I’m curling them into fists, suppressing the undeniable rage.
I really want to punch Jacob and push him away from my brother, but I won’t.
I’ll behave. I’ll stay calm. This has nothing to do with me.
Aside from the few naughty messages before our last hunt, Jacob is usually very gentle and caring with Damien.
“This will hurt a little. I’m sorry,” Jacob says.
I can hear Damien’s breaths hastening as he anticipates the sting. His hand squeezes mine, and his legs wiggle a little bit. I can’t understand why he puts himself through this shit. I would never. Jeez, I’m sweating, and it’s not even me who’s getting it done.
“Oh—fucking hell—” Damien gasps. The noise he makes is too sexual. It sounds like a whole other thing I definitely shouldn’t be thinking about.
Fuck. Is my dick responding to that?
“There you go,” Jacob laughs softly as he unpacks another needle. “You’re doing great, honey.”
I’m fine.
I’m not raging and panicking at the same time. No, I’m not. Why would I? There’s no logical reason for such a thing. And I’m not remembering Damien’s moans and groans when he was finger-deep inside Clara the other night. Nope. Not at all.
I look up at the ceiling and force my eyes shut. I have to think about something else, anything. But my mind is blank, and I don’t have anything to pull from. I’m just drowning in a whole lot of unhinged feelings that I don’t want.
“Ahh—shit—” Damien moans loudly. This time it sounds much, much worse than the previous one. His hand presses hard on mine, enough to make it hurt.
I take a deep breath and open my eyes again. It’s over, isn’t it? I have to get the hell out of here. I don’t want a full erection, for fuck’s sake.
Calm down, Killien. Calm. The fuck. Down.
“Okay, now stay still and I’ll bring you a few options to choose from.” Jacob exits the room quickly, leaving a trail of his manly perfume that makes my nostrils flare involuntarily. I force myself to concentrate on the sound of him going through drawers at the front of the shop.
Damien hisses, moving but not letting go of my hand yet.
I look down and find him licking blood off his fingers.
Both of his nipples are still stabbed by long needles.
I think I’m going to faint at the sight of those awful things, but the worst part is actually the blood.
The trail that the drop left on its way to his stomach is all smeared, since he wiped it away with his finger.
And it smells . . . great. Sweet, like honey and heaven itself.
My mouth waters, and I fight with all my might to keep the fire behind my eyes under control. They’re not lighting up right now. I won’t let them. My cock isn’t getting any harder either. I won’t allow it.
Damien smiles, his finger still between his teeth, as if this is no big deal at all.
There’s nothing wrong in this scene, right?
We’re fine. I’m not staring at the way my little brother sucks on his own finger.
My dick is not half-hard, and I’m definitely not wanting to lean down and lick the blood left on his chest.
I’m fine.
Jacob comes back into the room with a lot of piercings in his hand. He passes them to Damien and then leans forward. My eyes widen as he kisses my brother on the lips. It’s just a soft touch, but it sends a new wave of rage through me.
Fucking motherfucker. I’m gonna skin him alive.
I let go of Damien’s hand and leave. The heat gathering behind my eyes intensifies, threatening to light them up at any second. If I don’t get out of here, I’ll really end up punching Jacob. And I don’t think that’s gonna end well for me, since he’s much stronger than me.
Also, I’m not jealous. Just protective.
I’m. Fine.
“Killien?” I hear Jacob call my name, but I don’t turn around.
Instead, I pace through the shop—back and forth, from the door to the small space between the counter and Jacob’s desk. I can’t stay still. All of this is wrong, and I should have never come. I should have never agreed to hold Damien’s hand. He’s not a child anymore.
“Pick the ones you want, honey. I’ll be right back.” Jacob’s voice is so gentle when he speaks to my brother that I almost see red.
Fuck! Don’t come after me, asshole.
But he does. The sound of his boots on the tiled floor gets louder until he’s standing next to me with a weird expression on his beautifully masculine face. What does he want? I need to get out of here. I need him to finish his damn job.
“Are you alright?” The softness in his voice won’t calm me down; my blood is still boiling.
“Yeah.” I sound way angrier than I mean to.
“Look—” Jacob makes sure that I’m staring into his dark brown eyes before continuing. “If you’re not cool with this, I’ll stop. Just tell me, okay? I mean no harm, I promise.”
Motherfucker! You say that but you’ve been probably jerking off to the idea of piercing my brother’s nipples. Hypocrite.
“I don’t fucking care what you do.” I must be glaring at him, because he takes a step back.
I’m a terrible liar. He obviously doesn’t believe me, and neither do I. This sucks, and I want out of this situation. I want out of my own body, actually. Just let me take a little break. I can’t even breathe without spiraling lately.
“You guys are important to me,” he says. “Ever since Ledger fled, I feel responsible for both of you. I don’t want things to be weird between us.”
I huff. As if that was possible. Everything is weird now. I don’t know normal anymore. And I can’t get a grip on my own sanity.
“Just—” I sigh. “I’m just really stressed. This has nothing to do with you.”
“Has something happened?”
“No,” I lie again. Everything is happening at the same time, and I can’t take it.
Damien walks through the door of the piercing room and stares at us. There’s still blood on his chest.
“Get back in there!” I snap at him, scaring even Jacob with the tone of my voice. Damien obeys immediately and disappears through the door again. No questions asked, no bratty attitude. Thank God. I can’t handle that right now.
“Hey, you can talk to me, you know?” Jacob places a hand on my shoulder.
He means well, I know. But I still step away. Partially because I’m terrified by how my skin warms up under his touch, and also because I’m drowning in rage. I run my hands through my hair, pushing it back and away from my face. I’m going to burst into flames any second.
“I need to get out of here,” I whisper. “Can you just let me out?”
Jacob looks puzzled for a second, then moves towards the door. “Yeah, sure—Where are you going?” He unlocks it and stares at me.
“For a walk—I dunno.” I step out of the shop and take in a breath of fresh air. The busy street is loud, but there’s a subtle breeze that instantly makes me feel less trapped. I need to calm down.
“Should I take Damien home and meet you there?” Jacob asks.
Like fuck you will!
“No, I’ll be back in a bit.” I swallow my rage back down. “I’ll come for him.”
“Okay, we’ll be waiting for you, then.”
I storm along the sidewalk as fast as I can, the sound of the cars passing by helping to quiet down my own thoughts.
Jacob’s gaze remains on the back of my head until I turn on the first corner.
I feel it, but I can’t look. If I do, I’ll go back just to punch him.
Leaving them alone might not be the brightest idea, but staying means I’ll snap. I can’t do that. So I just walk away.
I’m not jealous.
I don’t have weird feelings for Damien.
I’m fucking fine.