Chapter 5
Five
Damien
It’s the first time in years that Killien has yelled at me like that. Hell, I can barely remember why it happened the last time, since it was forever ago. Not long after we ran away from home, actually. And he only reacts like that when he’s not okay.
Have I pushed too far?
Maybe I should have held back on the flirting with Jacob.
But I’ve been teasing him for weeks, without giving him much.
He somehow thought it was okay to kiss me in front of Killien.
Shit. I do like him, and I do want to fuck him—he’s really hot.
But it wasn’t my intention to rub it all over Killien’s face.
He’s never reacted like this to my advances to other men, though. That must mean something. I do want him to be jealous, of course. Just a little bit.
I guess I’m a man of extremes. I can’t seem to do anything without blowing it out of proportion. And now I’m really worried about Killien. Who knows what he’s doing out there on his own? I hope he doesn’t go on a killing spree or something.
The last time he snapped, we were still human, and he ended up getting in a horrible fight with the guy I was sleeping with.
Which was kinda my fault, of course. Now, with the amount of power he has, I’m not sure what he could do.
It’s only been fifteen minutes since he left, and I’m already climbing up the walls.
Jacob is busy working on a tattoo design for a client, almost ignoring me. He put on the straight barbells I chose for my nipples, and then left me alone. I think he’s scared of Killien’s reaction.
I fucked up, didn’t I? Now I don’t get either of them. I seriously miscalculated the way my advances would affect my stepbrother. Why can’t he just let go?
“You doing alright?” Jacob asks, without even lifting his gaze from his iPad.
He sits comfortably, legs crossed, his wide-leg tailored black trousers hugging his waist with a belt decorated with a skull at the buckle.
The silver chain bracelets he’s wearing make faint clinking noises against the glass surface of his desk as he draws.
“Yeah, I’m fine. It doesn’t hurt anymore.” I slide off my seat and walk closer to him, watching what he’s doing over his shoulder.
“Sounds about right; you should actually be fully healed by now.”
I lean forward a little bit and inhale Jacob’s perfume. He smells so damn good. Not better than Killien, though. I still want him, but I’m scared of doing something and having my ginger angel walk in on us. That would only make things worse, right? I’ll have to be patient.
“Can I ask you something?” Jacob interrupts my thoughts.
“Sure.” I rest my elbow on the back of his leather office chair, kinda wishing I could undo his messy bun and run my fingers through his hair.
He’s so fucking hot. I love a man older than me.
“Have you told Killien about us?”
Of course he’ll ask that.
“Not really,” I sigh. “He did know, though. It’s not like he can’t see the way we’ve been acting lately.”
Jacob stops drawing and leans back in his seat, brushing his head against my arm. His hair is really soft, and his skin so warm. A vampire’s kind of warmth. I get a bit high on his musky perfume too.
“You need to communicate more clearly with your brother, honey,” he says. I love it when he calls me that. It’s cute.
“Well—” I spin the chair around until he’s facing me. Why am I doing it? Can’t say. My dick made that decision. “He’s never had a problem with me seeing other people before.”
It’s true, he’s never reacted like this to someone kissing me. But I’ve never tried to seduce him either. I’ve been obsessed with Killien most of my life, but it was my dirty little secret. I just stared at him from afar. My unreachable angel of a stepbrother.
“Do you think it’s because I’m much older than you? I can totally understand that,” Jacob says.
He could be right, although I lived as a full-time sugar baby since I turned eighteen until Ledger caught us.
It’s true that my brother hated it, anyway.
As far as I know, Jacob was turned at twenty-seven, but that was like twenty years ago.
He’s the oldest vampire we know after Ledger, who had been immortal for three full decades. Or so he’d said.
I grin at Jacob and play with my lip rings, rolling them around with my tongue. His eyes go straight to my lips, just like I wanted. “Well—I turned twenty-one a few weeks ago, and it’s not like you’re the first older man in my life . . .”
He tries to hold back a smile but fails terribly. “Is that so?”
Fuck. I love his dark eyes and the way he looks at me like I’m some precious doll. I wanna climb on his lap and ride him right here, right now. I bet he’s really good at sex. My dick likes that thought a little bit too much.
I lean forward until my nose is almost touching his. “Let’s say I’ve had my fair share of experiences.”
Jacob’s breath is really sweet against my lips. His nostrils flare, and his eyes are basically penetrating me. All of his body language screams desire, but he reclines back on the chair to avoid being too close to me.
“We’ll have to wait and see what your brother has to say, honey.” He sighs, biting his lower lip slightly and turning his face away from me.
I guess I’ve done this to myself . . .
That’s what I get for being such a slut.
I shouldn’t be pursuing Killien and Jacob at the same time.
Especially because my feelings for Killien are freaking serious.
They’ve been building up for years, accumulating like lava underneath a volcano.
But how the hell do I align my dick and my heart?
They’re two separate entities, always have been.
I step away from Jacob and sit on the black Chesterfield against the wall covered in his artwork, facing the counter.
Better not be found doing something that will upset Killien even more.
I don’t want him to completely pull away from me.
That would be the worst outcome possible.
He’s already closed off enough, after Clara. The whole thing kinda backfired.
Jacob resumes his work while I just stare at my phone. I can’t help but worry about what my brother must be doing. Should I go out looking for him? Probably not. If I don’t do what he asked, he’ll be pissed. And he expects to find me here when he returns.
Today has been an absolute disaster, seriously.
Although I love my piercings and I really enjoyed getting them done, because I’m addicted to pain.
But, besides that, I’ve just made things worse.
Killien obviously doesn’t like what I’m doing.
And now Jacob has decided to stay away from me until we get my stepbrother’s approval—which we probably never will.
I should stop being so damn impulsive!
The bell at the shop’s door tingles as it opens. Killien’s ginger hair, bathed in the warm light of the setting sun, is the first thing my eyes catch. He’s calm and collected, but not fully relaxed. His lips twitch as he looks at Jacob and then at me.
“Feeling better, buddy?” Jacob asks, leaving his iPad on the glass desk and standing to greet my brother.
“Yeah.” Killien’s tone is sharp and distant.
“There’s something I wanted to ask you guys before you leave.” Jacob closes the door behind Killien and locks it, spinning the sign to Closed again. “Have you been drinking blood from other vampires?”
“What?” I ask.
Killien looks up at him with raised eyebrows, as if he’s just been asked the most ridiculous question in the entire planet. I kinda agree with his sentiment, honestly. Why would we do that?
“Ledger only fed you his blood when he turned you?” Jacob insists. Why does he look so surprised? Almost worried, I’d say.
“Um, yes.” Killien shrugs. He’s annoyed, I can tell—I know him well enough.
“Motherfucker . . .” Jacob hurries back to his seat while we both stare at him in utter confusion. “I don’t understand—why would he do that?”
“Is it wrong?” Now I’m getting worried.
“Well, yeah, kind of.” Jacob gestures for both of us to get closer to him. “Drinking human blood will keep you alive for sure, but it won’t make you stronger. We’re supposed to feed off each other. It strengthens our bonds and our bodies.”
“What?!” Killien laughs. He’s on the verge of snapping again. I know that look in his eyes all too well. I can almost see the beast within him about to break free from its chains.
“I—I thought he would explain something so important . . .” Jacob’s expression is nothing but perplexed. His chair squeaks as he leans back and scratches his head.
“How does that work?” I ask. “Why should we be feeding off other vampires instead of just humans?”
“Vampire blood is far more powerful.” Jacob’s eyes jump between me and Killien. “We can transfer abilities to each other, and sometimes our thoughts and feelings too. You won’t get any stronger by drinking only human blood—you’ll just survive. Barely.”
“Are you telling us that the motherfucker made us weak on purpose?” Killien’s voice turns into a low growl.
“I don’t know—” Jacob’s dark eyes close as he massages his temple. “I thought you two were drinking from Ledger until he left. It’s the way it usually goes.”
Maybe we could drink from each other, Killien and I . . .
Oh . . . Oh, fuck yes. I’m in.
“He only gave us his blood the day he turned us.” My brother’s voice seems a bit more controlled. He’s fighting to keep his cool, but his eyes are raging. I wouldn’t be surprised if they lit up at any second now.
“Son of a bitch . . .” Jacob sighs.
There’s a long silence. Kinda uncomfortable.
I keep my best poker face, but inside I’m grinning like the brat I am.
If Jacob is right, I should be feeding from Killien, and he should be feeding from me.
And what happens when we feed? We get really horny.
Shit. I’m salivating just thinking about it.
I bet Killien tastes like absolute heaven.
“Okay, I’ll feed you,” Jacob says. He sounds determined, but the look in his eyes is troubled. Maybe he doesn’t want to do it? I wanna feed from him too, of course. Wouldn’t waste such an opportunity.
“No, thanks.” Killien collapses on one of the black wooden chairs next to the front door of the shop, as far away from us as possible.
“It doesn’t have to be weird, Killien.” Jacob leans forward and focuses on my brother. “But it is my responsibility, now that Ledger is gone. You both need to get stronger if you want to survive long-term. I don’t want you to struggle.”
“Are you just saying that to get a taste of Damien?” Killien smiles at Jacob, but it’s an absolutely deranged smile. Murderous, even. So damn beautiful. It makes my dick get a bit harder. Although I don’t want them to fight.
“No!” Jacob jumps off his chair, which rolls back and clashes against the side of the counter with a loud bang.
“I won’t be feeding, but both of you need to drink vampire blood.
Especially if it’s someone older and stronger that can pass on some of their power.
It’s usually a maker’s job to ensure that it happens. ”
“I’m not buying it.” Killien glowers at Jacob. “Why do you ask that now, huh? Why not before? We’ve been on our own for an entire month!”
Jacob takes the seat right beside Killien, keeping his eyes trained on my brother. “Because the way you snapped today reminded me of what I was like when I stopped drinking vampire blood.”
I’m interested in what he has to say, but I also fear for his life. The way Killien is looking at him is absolutely terrifying, like he could jump on him at any second. There’s a short, uncomfortable silence before Jacob speaks again.
“I was forced off it only a few months after being turned, given only the option to feed from humans for a while. My mind weakened, my body too. I couldn’t think clearly and I was always on edge.”
Killien keeps glaring at Jacob, but he sighs as if he’s considering his words.
I have nothing to say, really. I’m kinda shocked that we didn’t know this stuff.
Had I been told, I would have latched on to Killien’s throat right away.
Ledger should have fed us, and also taught us to feed from each other instead of humans.
“I don’t know if we can really trust you.” Killien’s words are soft. And honest.
“Take some time to think about it.” Jacob nods. “It was never my intention to make you uncomfortable, Killien. But, even if you choose not to feed from me, please consider doing so from other vampires. It’s important.”
“Fine, we’ll think about it.” Killien looks at me and bobs his head towards the door. “Let’s go.”
I like getting clear orders from him, so I oblige.
Part of me gets really turned on when he bosses me around.
I’ll be a good boy, because I want to sink my fangs into him.
I had fantasized about it before, even if I hadn’t known we were supposed to be drinking from other vamps. But now it’s more than just a fantasy.
I need Killien’s blood. And I will have it.