Chapter 7 #2
Jacob gasps softly, but I don’t look this time. I don’t want to see what Damien is doing. I don’t want to see Jacob’s face. I’m way too turned on already. If I see them, I might just . . . cave.
I can’t let that happen.
I close my eyes as the heat behind them becomes unbearable and lights them up.
I don’t want Jacob to see how they glow for him and Damien.
It’s wrong, so wrong. And yet . . . I don’t stop.
I pull his wrist closer, feeling the pulsing veins with my lips before opening my mouth wide and sinking my fangs into him slowly and gently.
His skin tastes good. Like, really fucking sweet. And when his blood finally touches my tongue, I understand it all. It burns like absolute hell, much more than Ledger’s blood did. And the pleasure that explodes within me as it slides down my throat is a dozen times more intense too.
I suck, following the beats of his heart, feeling him take deep breaths to force himself to slow down.
His blood is so sweet, so rich, so different to the horrible metallic taste of human blood.
Almost like burning, salty lava laced with maple syrup sliding down my throat.
I never want to stop, never want to let go.
Fucking hell . . . this is too good.
I lick Jacob’s wrist, unable to restrain myself, feeling the embossment of ink on his skin with my tongue. I desperately want to kiss him. Anywhere, everywhere. I want to touch him, so much so that I almost reach out to dig my fingers into the waist of his black trousers.
The amount of things that run through my mind in a single second terrifies me.
I shiver at the waves of ecstasy that wash over every inch of my body with each pull.
My cock is so hard that I might as well come from doing this alone.
I find myself groaning into Jacob’s veins like a wild animal, lost in a kind of pleasure I never thought could be real.
Damien’s muffled moans reach my ears, creating a beautifully sinful symphony with Jacob’s faltering sighs.
I’m far too gone to listen to the logical side of my brain that tells me to ignore it all.
I run a hand up Jacob’s arm, digging my nails into his skin as I drag it back down.
My breath is out of control, and I can no longer keep my sucking motion slow.
I’m burning in the orgasmic pleasure of Jacob’s blood penetrating every single one of my cells.
“Okay—” Jacob groans. “That’s it—” His voice drives me to suck even harder. The way it breaks like he’s horny as fuck scratches a particular itch in my brain.
I want him.
I want this to be weird.
And I don’t want to stop.
Jacob pulls his wrist away and I protest with a loud groan.
I try to grab his arm and bring it back, but he’s strong enough to not let me.
I collapse against the soft cushions behind me, arching my back and rolling my eyes up before closing them.
It’s impossible to describe the level of ecstasy I’m drowning in.
I feel his burning blood spread to the very tips of my fingers and toes.
Everything tickles, in a deeply arousing kind of way.
When I open my eyes again, I can only see light and random shapes at first. My lips tremble, and my breaths are irregular. I’m not sure which noises are mine and which are Jacob’s or Damien’s, but there’s a wonderfully erotic collection of groans and deep sighs that fills the room.
By the time my vision adjusts and I can see what surrounds me, Jacob is curled on himself between me and Damien, his back rising and falling as he struggles to control his breath.
His hands rest on the back of the sofa, knuckles white from how hard he’s squishing the battered cushion.
Jacob’s wrists have healed, but blood drips down the palms of his hands.
I desperately want to lick them clean, but I hold back.
He seems so attractive in this very moment that my dick is leaking. I’ve never been this into another man before. My eyes linger on his forearms covered in tattoos, his long soft hair in that messy bun, the shape of his arched spine, and the outline of his muscles underneath the black shirt.
God, I want him so bad . . .
Damien’s eyes are on me, glowing like icy blue fire.
His lips tremble, just like mine. The arousal in him is almost palpable in the air—teeth tinged by Jacob’s blood, fangs still extended.
The expression of pure bliss on his face makes my mind run wild.
In a single second, I imagine doing a million things to him. And they are all wrong.
We stare at each other for what seems like an eternity, until he forces his face to turn away. That single gesture feels like being stabbed right in the heart. I want to reach out for him, I want his lips on mine more than anything. Maybe even more than I want Jacob and his burning blood.
Fuck. Fuck! I really want to make this weird.
Jacob sits back on his heels again, taking deep breaths, his eyes glowing light brown with burgundy threads that look like crackling fire.
He’s just . . . beautiful. So much so that I have to fight my body into submission.
I’m desperate to lunge towards him and pull him into the deepest kiss I’ve ever given.
I want to feel his body against mine. I want to do things I’ve never done with another man before.
“It’s fine—we’re fine,” he whispers between faltered breaths.
I sink deeper into the old and distressed sofa. Maybe I don’t want us to be fine. Maybe I want to fuck. Both of them. Right now. I don’t want to hold back anymore. I want to unleash the beast within me that is screaming and clawing inside my heart.
But I don’t.
I can’t do that.
With much difficulty, I force myself to stand. The room spins around me as I stumble forward, holding myself up using the back of a chair that creaks like it might collapse under my weight. Those goddamn janky chairs, I hate them.
I’m high as fuck, which I wasn’t anticipating. I snort out a laugh as I pick up the keys of our SUV from the wooden table and drag myself away from Jacob and Damien. I have to get out of here or I’ll fucking snap.
“Killien?” Jacob still struggles to catch his breath.
“I’ll leave you guys to it.” I collapse against the wall next to the front door, paint peeling against my palms as I barely hold myself up. “I don’t wanna see what’s gonna happen.”
“Nothing is going to happen.” Jacob stands with a bit of difficulty, but he doesn’t stumble. “You’re in no state to be outside.”
“I’ll be fine.” I smile as I reach for the door handle, their faces still spinning like the whole room. “I’ll go for a little drive.”
“Killien—” Jacob comes for me, but I slip through the door before he can catch me. “Stop!”
I try to run towards the car, clinging to the brown bricks of the exterior walls of our house; some of them wiggle and almost fall off. Jacob’s arm wraps around my waist and he pulls me back without much effort.
“No, don’t touch me!” I cringe at how much I like his strong arm holding me. I’m desperately horny, and I wanna lean back against him and grind my ass into his crotch. A thought I’ve never had before.
“Stop, please,” he whispers, reminding me that we’re outside and I shouldn’t be screaming. “You can’t drive high, Killien. Get back inside, please.”
“No—” I break free from his grip, mostly because he’s trying really hard not to press his body against mine. “I can’t. I don’t want to. I’ll fuck up real bad.”
“It’s fine.” He grabs my arm and holds me against the brick wall, keeping me on my feet when I’m about to collapse. “This won’t last long, just come in, please. I can’t let you hurt yourself.”
I snort. “Hurt myself?” I look briefly into his eyes, which have already darkened, unfortunately. My gaze travels to his lips. They’re so freaking kissable. I’m dying to feel them as I lick mine. “I’m gonna really hurt myself if I go back inside.”
“No, you won’t. I won’t let you.” His expression is serious.
He doesn’t stop me when one of my hands lands on his shoulder. What for? I’m not sure if I want to push him away or pull him closer. I want to kiss him. Desperately, hungrily. But he’s Damien’s boyfriend.
“You’re just high, Killien. Don’t worry.” His breath is so sweet it forces my eyes to close. “You can go to bed if you want.”
“And listen to you and Damien fuck? No, thanks.”
“That won’t happen,” he chuckles. “You’re both high, and I promised I wouldn’t let this get weird.”
“And what if I want it to get weird?” I say, before I can even attempt to stop myself.
Jacob goes silent, and I almost curse myself for saying something so ridiculous. I’m pathetic, really. All horny, cornered by my brother’s boyfriend. Acting like the brat I never was, while Damien sits on the sofa like a good boy. Have our roles reversed?
“You’ll have to think about that when the high is over,” Jacob says, after the most uncomfortable silence of my life. “That’s something that should be talked about seriously, okay? I’m not here to take advantage of either of you.”
I really wish you would.
Fuck my life, seriously.
I laugh at my own silly thoughts. “Can I stay in the car?”
“Okay, but I’m keeping the keys.” He lets go of my arm and takes a step back. My fingers slowly drag down his soft black shirt as my hand falls from his shoulder, feeling his hard muscles underneath. “I can’t have you driving around like that. You’ll get in trouble.”
“Fine . . .” I take the keys out of my pocket and throw them at him. The cool night breeze brings a gust of his scent to my nose, making the world around me spin again. I feel like the cracks in our concrete driveway are opening up to swallow me whole into hell itself.
“Come back inside when you’re feeling better. I’ll go watch Damien,” he says as he stares at me stumble towards our Grand Cherokee and try to open the back door.
“Can you unlock it for me?”
For fuck’s sake. This is humiliating.
He presses the car key and unlocks it. I jump onto the back seat and close the door behind me. I don’t want to talk anymore. Every second in which I have to listen to his voice is torture. I’m way too horny for my own good.
Our gazes remain locked through the tinted glass for a moment.
The dodgy neighborhood is as quiet as ever, except for the occasional dog barking in the distance and random cars passing by other streets.
Jacob nods at me and walks back into the house, the car keys dangling from his index finger.
His palms are still bloody, and he smeared some on my arm and waist when he grabbed me.
I look down at my shirt. It’s stained, yes. Since it’s dark blue, it’s barely noticeable. But his hand is imprinted on my forearm. The blood contrasts beautifully against my pale skin. I stick my tongue out and lick it away, at least what I can reach. It’s no longer burning hot, but it’s sweet.
Damn, I never wanna drink human blood again.
I stay in the car for a long time, curled on myself on the back seat.
I remain high and aroused for what seems like forever.
My mind can’t stop replaying the whole thing over and over again.
I keep seeing Damien’s face after we drank from Jacob, the way he looked at me, the fire behind his eyes.
The blood on his lips, dripping down his chin.
My lips part as I imagine kissing him, grabbing his fragile neck to hold him in place.
No. Stop it.
I shake my head. Why am I imagining that?
Wasn’t I horny for Jacob? Maybe I’m more confused than I thought.
Or maybe I’m just starting to realize that I want to try sex with men?
I know I’m attracted to them as well now.
I still have no experience, though. That might be what my brain is trying to tell me.
I don’t know how to go about it. I would have no idea what to do with another guy, and I’d probably be terrible at it. I hate feeling insecure; it’s not like me at all. But how can I not be? Whatever this feeling is, it has me stepping into unknown territory.
I close my eyes and hold my knees tighter against my chest, forcing myself to ignore my erection.
I wasn’t expecting to go through a sexuality crisis.
I’ve never had to question myself before.
And I’m an open-minded person. I always supported Damien in his own path.
It never made me uncomfortable, but it wasn’t something I thought I’d want for myself.
And now, having it all change feels like the ground has been removed from underneath my feet.
I no longer know where I stand.
Is that what has kept me so on edge? Maybe it wasn’t even my brother acting weird.
What if I made it all up? What if I was seeing signs that were never there?
I’m really, seriously fucked-up. I should just find another guy I can experiment with.
It might make my weird thoughts about Damien and Jacob vanish.
It’s fine.
I don’t have feelings for my brother.
I’m gonna be okay.