Chapter 28
Twenty-Eight
Killien
While we cruise through the Arizona desert in silence, I can’t help but let my mind wander.
I’m supposed to take the next exit and find somewhere desolate for us to park.
I’d rather we just keep going until we make it to Vegas, though.
Damien said he wants to stargaze, and I know he has other intentions, but I won’t say.
I’m not stopping him either.
It seems like we didn’t even need to run away, after all.
Although I must say, I prefer it this way.
Owen turned out to be the perfect excuse for us to leave everything behind—which I’m more than thankful for.
It’s not easy to admit, but having Damien to myself is exactly what I wanted.
It’s more than that: it feels right. Like it’s just how it was always meant to be.
It’s us against the world.
That’s all that matters.
Don’t get me wrong, I do feel bad for Jacob.
I don’t think he deserved to be left over the phone like that, but part of me enjoyed witnessing the moment Damien chose me over him.
Horrible, I know. I’m no longer surprised by my evil side, though.
I always thought I was a good guy, but lately I’ve been slipping.
Maybe it’s just part of being a vampire.
Who knows? My morals have tilted to the side, or maybe they just flew out the window.
“Fucking finally!” Damien says, forcing my attention back to the road.
There’s an exit coming up, indeed. My shoulders become tense as I slow down the car and drive down the smaller road.
It’s literally the middle of nowhere, all dark desert hills and starry sky.
A warm and unfamiliar sensation starts in my stomach as I think of what might happen next.
Why does it feel like it’s the perfect scenario?
I drive a few miles away from US-93, and take one of the many dirt roads that lead to the middle of the mountains.
Damien remains quiet, with his gaze lost somewhere in the darkness, as we move through the rocky grounds.
I finally stop in an area that looks secluded enough, where cars that might pass through the dirt road won’t see us once the lights are off.
When I stop the engine, my hands rest on my thighs.
I’m tapping them with my fingers, but I can’t seem to stop myself.
It’s not like me to be this nervous. If someone would have told me I’d be in this exact situation just a year ago, I would have laughed my ass off in disbelief. But so much has changed.
I have changed. I’ve chosen to deviate from my path. And I don’t regret it.
Maybe it’s what I’ve always wanted, deep down.
Damien looks at me with a blank expression, then steps out of the car into the darkness. It takes a while for me to react, as I’m left there blinking slowly and staring at his silhouette walking away. Where the hell is he going? I step out too and chase after him.
I find my brother sitting on the dirt with his legs extended forward and leaning back on his hands. His deep blue eyes are fixed on the hills on the horizon, only decorated by a few shrubs scattered through them.
My heart skips a beat at the sheer beauty of him. The creature who captured my heart against my will. The little devil that finally managed to deviate me from the silly path I set for myself all those years ago.
The immense wilderness and the subtle breeze that engulf us remind me of the night before my seventeenth birthday.
Of the first time I felt truly at peace, with just the two of us, nature, and silence.
It was the best birthday present I’d ever gotten, something that only the person who had known me best in the entire world could have provided.
Damien looks up at me as I sit beside him, a shy smile forming on his lips.
His many piercings glisten under the moonlight, just like his beautiful blue eyes.
It’s so easy to get lost in the mysterious ocean of his irises.
I remember when we were just kids and I felt so jealous of his eyes.
He was always the special one, of course. The cute one.
There was nothing special about me, at least not in a good way.
Being a ginger wasn’t something that people seemed to like, especially not when I didn’t have green eyes to match.
My ordinary brown eyes said nothing, and the freckles on my nose and cheeks made me feel ugly.
But Damien’s face always lit up when he looked at me, even back then when we were so young.
I huff at the simple realization that, maybe, he was already into me at that time. So many years ago. And it took me so long to get here. It’s almost ridiculous. I should have known a while ago, shouldn’t I?
“What’s on your mind, Killi?” he asks.
I take a deep breath as my heart beats loudly in my ears.
We’re alone in the immensity of the dark desert, enveloped by a faint cool breeze.
All I can feel is the warmth of his skin beside me, and all I smell is his sweet honey-like scent.
My entire body screams for me to press my lips to his, but I can’t seem to bring myself to do it.
“Nothing . . .” I look away from him, as if that will stop the fire burning inside me from rising to my cheeks. Of course, it doesn’t. “I was just . . . reminiscing.”
Damien smiles. “The good ol’ days, right?”
“Not really—” With much effort and a sharp pain shooting through my heart, I intertwine my fingers with his. He looks back at our hands that rest on the dirt. “Things are much better now.”
The smile on Damien’s face widens, and the most wonderful thing happens.
His eyes light up, slowly glowing brighter and brighter as he directs his gaze to my face.
He’s never looked so angelic. He always refers to himself as a little devil—and I often do too—but that’s not what he looks like at the moment.
“Fuck, Killi . . .” he whispers before biting the corner of his lower lip. “You’re making it so hard for me to hold back right now.”
His words puzzle me. “Why are you holding back?”
“Because I don’t know if you’re really on board with this.” Damien sighs, closing his eyes for a few seconds. When he opens them again, they’re still glowing bright blue and turquoise, with the most stunning silver threads.
“I’m knee-deep in whatever this is.” I laugh, feeling the fire behind my eyes intensify. They’ll probably light up soon too. “Are you having second thoughts—?
“Never! Not about us.” Damien throws his head back and stares at the starry sky above again. “But, I dunno, today was a stressful day. I don’t wanna put pressure on you . . .”
Since when does Damien act like this? Putting someone else’s well-being before his desires? He doesn’t say shit like this. Never. Not to anyone else, at least. This is just . . . for me. Like when he took me camping all those years ago.
My eyes flicker alight, fueled by the intense fire that turns my cheeks bright red and makes blood rush towards my groin.
I stare at my own feet, overwhelmed by the intensity of my feelings.
It’s obvious to me right now that I’ve loved him since that night.
Or maybe even longer. I was just too stubborn to see it.
“I—” Damien continues. “I need you to want this as much as I do.”
“What makes you think I don’t?” I ask, finally turning my face towards him. Still, his glowing eyes stay focused on the infinity of the sky above. “Look at me, Damien.”
He rolls one of his lip rings with his tongue, avoiding my gaze as if he’s scared of what he might find.
I’m almost trembling in anticipation, desperate for his eyes to meet mine, for him to see how I truly feel.
But I don’t rush it. We’ve waited for so long already .
. . And it’s not like we don’t have time. We’re immortal, after all.
Damien’s gaze finally finds mine, his pupils almost swallowing the beautiful glowing blue of his irises.
They seem to expand even more as he stares into my soul.
And it has nothing to do with the darkness around us, no.
His pupils widen to take me in, just like mine must be doing with him.
We’re high on each other. High on the warmth of our hands together, on our mingling scents, on the desire to have each other.
“I want you, Damien,” I say, finally letting go of the restraints that held me back. “Like I’ve never wanted anyone before. I need you. It’s just us against the world, remember?”
“Oh, fuck you, Killi . . .” he whispers.
The air around us seems to zap with electricity as he kisses me, making the hairs on the back of my neck stand on their ends.
My heart jumps so hard against my rib cage that I feel myself vibrating with each beat.
The touch of Damien’s dusty hand on the side of my neck burns my skin just as much as his tongue burns against mine.
He tastes like honey: smoked, sweet honey with a minty edge.
I moan into his mouth in delight, absolutely enthralled by him.
In this moment, the entire world has vanished. Nothing matters, not even the events that brought us here. It’s just us, and it’s perfect. We kiss desperately, biting and sucking on each other’s lips. It’s a slow symphony of passion we can’t seem to break free from.
Damien’s hand travels to the back of my head, digging into my hair and sending a shiver down my spine.
Before I know it, he climbs on top, straddling me and dry humping my thigh.
We are both hard, and I groan at the notion that this is the real Damien.
Not a fantasy or an illusion, but the real thing.
One of my arms wraps around his small waist, while the other reaches for his jeans—my jeans, because we’re both wearing the same clothes we changed into at Owen’s home.
I’m suddenly aware of how tiny he feels in my arms, and how light his body is.
The pressure of his hips grinding against my leg is delicious, maybe even perfect.