Chapter 17
Luc
My Only Angel
YUNGBLUD & Aerosmith
There is no way in hell I’m letting her out of my sight again until I have a way to contact her.
Her and her goddamn rules are what made it impossible for me to find her two years ago.
That was not going to happen again. Not now, when I finally found her.
Especially now that I know the reason for her disappearance wasn’t because she didn’t want to see me.
“I want your number.” I declare, leaning forward to set my beer on the table, then slide my phone out of my back pocket.
“Oh.” Relief washes over her features, smoothing out the crinkles of concern that were present a second earlier. “Yes, that’s probably a good idea.”
“What’s your number?” I already have a new contact window open on my phone as I fire out the demand.
“It’s 702-555-2334.” She recites.
I enter it, then add her first name, pausing before I enter her last name.
If only I had known this one piece of vital information two years ago.
I could have found her. On Facebook, or Instagram or TikTok.
Trying to find someone named Lilith or Lily from Las Vegas on socials was like trying to find a needle in a haystack.
Believe me, I tried. I sigh, I think in relief, as I save her information.
“I’m going to send you a text so you’ll have my number too.” I inform her, glancing up at her before I do. A second later, a buzzing vibrates on the table.
“Now?” Her soft voice has me diverting my attention from my phone to her face. “Will you tell me?”
“You don’t remember anything?” I set my phone on the table, snagging the beer back in my hand.
“I only know what I’ve been told.” She shakes her head, her hands folded in her lap.
“Camera footage from the lights show that I was in the crosswalk, that I definitely had the walk signal, and that a car drove directly into me, not putting any brakes on until after I was struck. I was hit on my right side. My femur and four ribs were broken. When I hit the pavement, my skull was fractured, which resulted in the head trauma suppressing or causing my memory loss.”
“Jesus, Lily.” I slam the beer down on the table as I stand, wanting to comfort her somehow, but not knowing what the limits are. “That must have been awful.”
She shrugs, a frown marring her otherwise perfect face. “I don’t remember any of it, and I did a lot of healing the weeks I was in the coma. By the time I woke up, I wasn’t really in any pain.”
She pauses a moment before continuing. “It turns out that the driver was drunk. Not that it makes any real difference, but I got a large settlement that covered all my medical bills with a lot to spare.”
“I’m really sorry that happened to you.” I walk over to grab another beer, and remember my manners. “Sorry, did you want one of these?”
“No, I’m good.” She watches me, her gaze assessing as I go back to my spot on the couch. “I have a video.”
She stands now, talking as she goes over to the table. “Of the accident. It’s from the red-light camera. The police had to surrender it to me as part of my settlement for the lawyers.”
She comes over and sits down next to me. “Do you want to see it?”
Do I? Not sure I want to see her getting hit by a car. But she seems to want to share it with me for whatever reason, so I shrug. “If you want me to.”
She takes a second to scroll through her album, handing the phone to me as the video begins to play. “There’s no sound.” She explains I take it from her, my eyes glued to the screen.
It’s grainy and in black and white. A weird feeling creeps over my skin when I see her in the dress she had been wearing the day we spent together. The little chucks on her feet.
I squint, then use my fingers to zoom in to see what she’s carrying, my breath catching when I do.
It’s a tray, with two coffees and a white paper bag.
She had gone to get coffee. She was coming back.
Something shifts inside of me, and all of the anger, the months and months of rage I lived on, just slip away. She was coming back to me.
In the next second, a car slams into her, her body flying through the air before landing back on the road, and I recoil at the shock of it, almost dropping the phone. I stop the video and hand her phone back. I’ve seen everything I need to.
“I-” I shake my head, lost for words. I don’t know what to say, so instead, I wrap my arms around her and pull her into a hug.
The feel of her against me, her smell, her soft frame, all things I never thought I was going to experience again.
It’s a mind-fuck, and it’s taking me a beat to come to terms with everything.
There are people you get over. People who fade like old songs you don’t replay.
And then, there was her. Her memory was like a bruise I couldn’t stop poking.
A wound I never wanted to heal, no matter what I may have tried to tell myself.
Some hearts don’t heal, don’t move on. They wait.
And I realize as I’m holding her, I waited. I never fucking stopped.
She’s stiff for a few seconds, but then relaxes, her hands sliding up to rest on my shoulders. It’s like we both finally have some of the answers we’ve been looking for and a huge weight has been lifted. She draws back after a moment, shifting a foot away from me, but staying on the couch.
“Sorry.” Her mouth curves into a small frown. “It’s a strange thing, knowing we spent time together, slept together, yet have no memory of it and can tell that it meant something to you.”
“To us.” I correct her. “We both wanted to keep seeing each other. Even if it was after my tour ended.”
“I believe you.” She nods, a sad expression on her face. “Can you tell me what we did, where we went?”
I tell her everything, starting with finding her in my room, going to her apartment, what happened in her apartment, going to Mt.
Charleston, driving her car, the Peppermill, the concert, the suite after.
I tell her what our rules were, getting a little laugh from her when I tell her about my request for her to wear a dress.
I share every single detail with her. And then more. The things she wouldn’t know.
“When I woke up and you were gone, I lost it.” I grimace as I recall my behavior back then. “I didn’t know I could fall for someone that quickly, but it seems I did.”
I glance over at her, not surprised in the least that her damn lower lip is clenched between her teeth.
“I tried everything I could think of to find you. Went back to that restaurant, even tried calling Uber. And Dean had hooked up with your friend, but he doesn’t get attached, even a little, so that was a dead end. ”
“Should have checked the hospitals.” She laughs weakly at her own joke. “Trying to retrace my steps wasn’t any better.”
She shakes her head. “I didn’t know where my car was for almost two months after I got out of the hospital. And then, one day, I went through the bag the hospital had given me, and there was a valet ticket and a hotel key for Caesars.”
She rolls her eyes as she continues. “I tried to get them to tell me who the key had originally been registered to, but they couldn’t. The key had been deactivated somehow.” She smiles. “I did get my car back though, and that was one hell of a tip I had to leave.”
“I wrote an entire album of songs about you.” I counter, just laying it all out on the line now. “All about how much I loved and loathed you at the same time.”
Her brow shoots up. “Love?”
“I don’t know.” I confess. “I think so. Didn’t actually believe that could happen in less than two days, but also don’t think I would have gone as crazy as I did, unless it was.”
“I wish I could remember.” She whispers. “Anything. Just one little bit of something.”
“I know it’s wrong to admit, but at least I know you not coming back, not being there when I woke up, wasn’t because you were trying to flee the scene.”
I feel like a complete shit bag for saying it out loud, and as soon as the words are out of my mouth, I want to reel them back in. She got hit by a damn car. She had broken bones. She was in the hospital for weeks.
The thought of her being hurt at all guts me. I’d rather take the pain I suffered, again, if it meant it would give her back her memory and take away what she went through.
“Fuck, I’m sorry, Lily.” I fist my hand and thump it against my forehead. “That was stupid to say.”
“It’s okay.” She lets out a weary sigh. “You’re being honest. It’s okay that you felt, or feel, confused. This is a lot to take in.”
I stare hard, because even though I am sorry, she needs to know what she meant to me. “Stupid, not blind. I still want what I want.”
My phone buzzes in my pocket, and I slide it out to see who it is. “Shit.” It’s from Dean wondering where I am. I didn’t realize it had gotten so late. “I have to go get ready for the show tonight.” I explain, looking over at her, not ready to leave her yet.
“Where is it?” She stands, smoothing down her shirt as she does.
“The Sphere.” I state. “It’s a pretty big show for us. We’re playing tonight and tomorrow.”
“Yeah,” she nods. “That’s an amazing venue to play in.”
“Do you want to go?” I toss out, trying not to cringe at the desperation in my voice.
“Oh, well.” She pauses, looking down at her phone for a minute. “I can’t. I didn’t realize how long we’d been talking, and I actually need to be somewhere.”
“How about tomorrow?” I press, wanting to try and figure out if there’s a way to recapture what we had two years ago. “Can I see you again?”
“Yes.” She agrees more quickly than I expected. “I have tomorrow off. Do you think you could come to me?”
“Yeah, of course.” I don’t hesitate at the opportunity to spend more time with her. “Shoot me an address.” I point to her phone. “You have my number now.”
“Okay.” She glances at her phone again. “Is ten too early?”
“Lily, I’ll come any damn time that works for you. I just want to spend more of it with you.”
I want so badly to grab her face in my hands and kiss her. Taste her. Feel every inch of her. Now that she’s in front of me, it’s like she was never gone. Her not knowing who I am though is surreal. I know I have to take a damn minute and let her catch up.
“Be careful what you wish for.” She warns, as she starts walking toward the door.
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Not sure how to react to the comment.
“A lot has changed since those two days we spent together.” Her hand is on the knob, her body turning toward mine, her expression somber.
“I just-” She pauses, takes a deep breath. “Let’s just talk about it tomorrow, okay? We’ve already covered so much today.”
“Tomorrow.” I confirm with a nod, then follow her out of the room.