Chapter 19
Luc
Dad
Michele Morrone
I have a fucking kid. Mind blown. Not the news I was expecting to get today, or anytime in the immediate future if I was being honest with myself.
If I’m being one hundred percent real, when I originally met Lily, it was the first time I had even considered the possibility of dating anyone long term, but those thoughts never strayed further than that.
Having kids? Maybe one day, but not something I had pondered at all. Shit, I was thirty. Plenty old enough to be a dad. Except that most of the time, I still act like the rockstar I am, and pull shit I probably shouldn’t at my age. Guess having a daughter just put growing up into overdrive for me.
We still had over thirty dates left on our tour, which was supposed to run through August. I had no idea how I was going to try to be a father while I was on the road.
The guys were going to freak the fuck out over this news.
I was tempted to text them right now, but knew it was news that needed to be told in person.
Had a feeling tonight was going to be another late one.
“You doing okay?” It’s Lily, coming back into the living room after stepping away for a few minutes to call her mom.
“Yeah.” I confirm. “Just thinking about what this is going to mean for the band.” I provide more information so she can follow where my head is at. “Me being on tour.”
Her face scrunches, her head tilting. “You think the guys won’t want you to be in the band anymore?”
I can’t help it, I laugh out loud. That would never happen. As dysfunctional as we all may be, we’re a family. And I know without a doubt, they will accept Larkin with open arms.
“No, no, it’s not that.” I offer her a tentative smile. “I’m on tour through August. I’m trying to work out how I can spend time with you and Larkin. I don’t want to have to wait another two months.” I give a slight shake of my head. “I feel like I’ve already lost so much time.”
“Oh.” Although her expression relaxes, I can tell she’s rolling what I just dropped around in her mind.
“We’ll figure it out Lily.” I don’t want her to overthink it, but the band is supposed to leave tomorrow morning.
Our next show is in L.A. two days from now.
I can technically take a flight out, instead of travelling on the bus with the guys, giving me an extra day here to try and convince her to do what I already know I want to happen.
I need to talk to the guys first about everything.
Make sure they are on board with what I have in mind.
She’s pacing, back and forth, again and again, in front of the television mounted against the far wall. She has to be nervous. So much new information to process over the last twenty-four hours.
I want to do something to ease her concerns, her fears, the apprehension she has to be experiencing right now, but I don’t know what that is. I usually fuck or drink my way out of most situations. Don’t think that’s going to work this time.
“Lily.” I stand and amble closer to her, stopping when I’m an arms-length away, reaching a hand out to stop her. She stops in place, her eyes swinging to mine, the look in them a little wild. “It’s going to be okay.”
“Is it?” She questions out loud. “I’m not so sure.” She huffs out a breath, crossing her arms. “This is all starting to hit really hard.”
“I know.” I say, keeping my voice soft. ‘It’s a lot.”
“I mean, Jesus Christ on a cracker.” She exclaims with a shake of her head. “You’re a rockstar. An actual, for real, bigger than life, rockstar! What was I thinking? I can’t believe of all the people that could have been Larkin’s father, it’s a famous rockstar.”
A deranged kind of laughter leaves her as a hand clamps over her mouth as she stares at me, like it’s the first time she’s seeing me.
I take a large step forward, closing the gap between us and grip her forearms gently to tug her close. Her icy blue eyes lock on my face, her hand falling away from her mouth, my attention diverted now to her lips, so pink, so full.
“Lily.” My voice is gravelly as I say her name, so I clear my throat, swallowing to try and tamp down the desire that has sparked to life inside me. “I promise it’s going to be okay.”
“How can you possibly promise that?” She breathes out, our bodies so close together that I feel the warm moisture from her breath as she speaks.
“Because there is nothing I wouldn’t do to make sure that’s the case.” I lick my lips, wanting so badly to press them against hers. Her gaze flits to my mouth, back to my eyes, and then back to my mouth again, and I know that she’s thinking about kissing me as well.
She’s back in my life like a storm. Messy, dangerous and impossible to ignore.
I should hate her for the turmoil she’s causing, for the time we’ve lost. But I can’t.
I never could. And it’s why I’m standing here, with my heart in my hands, waiting for the lightning to hit again.
And it will. I have no doubt because it always did with us.
I lean in, so ready to taste her again after two years of yearning for her, my pulse racing beneath my skin as my temperature rises.
“Luc…” She whispers, not pulling back, instead tilting her head up.
“Hello!” The door opens as the greeting rings out, both of us stepping away from the other in a rush. “We’re here!”
We break apart, I think both of us realizing just in the nick of time that we were about to do something reckless. I rake a hand through my hair, my nerves zinging to life under my skin, knowing I’m about to meet my daughter.
Her mother, an older clone of her daughter, appears before us, her hands gripped firmly around the handle of an infant car seat. It feels like a thousand butterfly wings are fluttering against my insides as my heart rate increases.
“So, you’re the one.” Her mother states, as she assesses me, scanning me from head to toe.
“It would seem.” I nod, taking a few tentative steps in her direction, eager to see my daughter.
“Well, it’s obvious who she looks like now.” Her lips lift just a fraction as she glances from the seat to me. “And we have always said she’s a beautiful baby.”
A backwards compliment? I think that’s a good sign?
“Mom, you said you would behave.” Lily strolls up to her mother and relieves her of the car seat, twisting it around so I can finally see inside of it.
She’s asleep. Her tiny mouth is scrunched up in a pucker, her brow furrowed, like she’s aware of the tension in the room, but choosing to try and hide from it.
Her hair is the exact same color as mine, little curls sprouting in all directions on her head. Her skin is the palest pink, and so smooth. She’s so little. And, she’s the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I don’t take my eyes off of her as Lily sets the seat on the couch and begins to unbuckle the straps around her. She starts to squirm, a little sound of protest at being disturbed squeaking from her.
“You’re okay baby girl.” Lily coos to her as she lifts her out of the seat, her body starting to sway back and forth as she cradles Larkin against her chest. She flashes a smile my way. “Come meet your daughter.”
I tread over, my steps slow, not wanting to startle the baby. When I’m inches from them, I freeze in place and just stare at this little miracle that’s suddenly in my life. She’s chewing on her thumb, her eyes, the exact same color as mine, blink as they assess me.
I rouse my courage to feather my fingers over her head, the locks downy soft, then trail them down further to stroke over the skin of her face.
She smiles at me then, her cheek lifting underneath my touch, a dimple appearing, and I’m transported to another realm I didn’t know existed.
One where only pure, unconditional love exists.
My heart expands so much that I have to suck in a breath, which I realize a second later, is a gasp escaping. How did the world I know exist without this perfect little human?
I blink up at Lily, feeling the tears track down the planes of my face and into my beard before I understand they are falling. “She’s so perfect.”
“She is.” Lily’s face beams as she looks between me and Larkin. “Do you want to hold her?”
“Can I?” My voice raising an octave as I take a step back.
Laughter bubbles from Lily, prompting Larkin to giggle as well, and the sound just floors me. The laughter from my child is the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. Until I hear her speak.
“Mama.” Her tiny hand reaching out to touch Lily’s parted lips, and my heart explodes.
“Hi baby.” She kisses the tips of Larkin’s fingers. “Did you have fun with Grandma?”
“She was so good.”
I had completely forgotten about her mother. I was so transfixed on Larkin. She’s next to Lily now, smiling down at her granddaughter as she begins to talk to her in a baby voice. “I’m going to go now though. I think Mommy will be fine.”
She glances up at me as she completes her sentence, directing her attention to me now. “She will be, right?”
“Of course.” I assure her, nodding my affirmation. “Completely fine. I’m not here to cause any problems.”
“I checked you and that band out online.” Her eyes narrowing. “You know that’s not any kind of life for a baby?”
“Yes, ma’am.” I scratch at my chin, my nerves raw by this point. “I wouldn’t-” I pause for a second to collect my thoughts. “I understand.”
“Let’s hope so.” She graces me with a tight smile. “Lily has been through enough.”
“Mom.” Lily admonishes with an eye roll. “Enough. Luc didn’t even know about any of this until thirty minutes ago.”
“Well, maybe if he treated you like a lady, instead of a tramp, and gotten your number, that wouldn’t have been the case.” She retorts, crossing her arms.
“Mom.” Lily chides. “I thought I explained to you this morning that we had every intention of exchanging numbers, I just got hit before that could happen.”
She shakes her head, absently sliding Larkin into my arms, my eyes popping wide as I stare down at the bundle I’m now holding, as Lily continues to argue with her mom. Any noise from them is silenced as I behold the wonder I’m staring down at.
“Hi Larkin.” I murmur softly to her. “I’m your dad.”
Her eyes latch onto mine, her smile gummy as she beams up to investigate me. I adjust her in my arms, marveling at how absolutely precious and small she is.
“You might be the prettiest girl I’ve even seen.” I trace a finger down her arm, her little fist grasping onto it when I reach her hand. Little does she know, that hold is one I’m going to treasure and cherish forever.
“I’m sorry about that, Luc.” Lily’s hand on my arm grabs my attention a moment later. “She’s just being protective.”
I look around and realize her mom isn’t here anymore.
“You don’t have to apologize.” I tell her. “I like that she’s protective of you. It’s a sign of a good mom. She loves you.”
“Thank you for understanding.” Her face softens as she takes us in. Me and Larkin. “She looks good on you.”
“Who would have thought?” I chuff, startling Larkin. “Sorry little one.”
“So, now what?” She throws out the question that’s been running like a train through my thoughts since I found her yesterday.
“I guess that’s what we have to figure out.”