Chapter 22
Chapter Twenty-Two
Kade
Isabelle looks paler than a ghost.
If she goes a shade lighter, she’ll disappear and I won’t be able to see her.
The only thing I’ve ever seen her react to in such a way is me. But I actually think she looks worse.
I follow her gaze and see she’s fixed on Parker. But I don’t know why he’d produce such a dark reaction from her.
Parker Federov is one of the best men I know.
He was my father’s best friend. He was as close to him as Dmitri and Logan are to me.
That’s why Dad made him my godfather. After my parents died Parker would have taken me in if he hadn't been traveling so much with his job. He’s an art and antiquities expert.
Despite his work commitments he still offered me a home, giving my aunt and uncle the choice. That’s how close he was to our family and still is. It was more fitting for me to live with my aunt and uncle but I was always grateful to him for offering.
I haven’t seen him in close to a year but not a month goes by that I don’t hear from him.
I knew he was going to be the new lord chancellor before we even started our freshman year here. He called me and personally told me.
I was excited about it and excited for the chance to see a guy who’s been like another father to me. So today was no surprise. Not like it seems to be for Isabelle.
As the meeting wears on, she actually looks worse, but there’s nothing that Parker is saying that would make her look that way.
Everything he’s talking about is positive, but then again, she looked the way she does even before he opened his mouth to speak.
I divide my attention between her and Parker. Every time I look at her, I wonder what in the hell about Parker has her worked up so much.
The meeting ends half an hour later and everyone gets up to leave.
Isabelle, however, looks like she’s ready to bolt out of her skin. As she gets up, I notice the tremor in her legs. She stumbles and falls forward, but I’m right there to catch her so she falls into my chest.
I hold her tiny body while she grips my jacket. “Easy, there,” I say, but she’s not paying attention to me.
Her eyes are on my chest, frozen in a stare as if she's trying to figure out something important. And she’s shaking. She’s shaking so badly I can see it.
“Lolita?”
It’s only then that she looks up at me and I see pain in her eyes. Pain that’s so dark it calls to me. I know that pain. I feel it every day. It’s the type you experience when you lose someone in a horrific way. The way I lost my parents.
“What’s wrong with you?” I keep my voice low enough that only she can hear me.
Instead of answering she tightens her grip on the tiny section of my jacket she’s holding and presses her palm harder against my chest. Like she needs me.
A new feeling I don’t recognize stirs inside me and I lean closer. It’s the first time I’ve been this close to her and not wanted to kiss her.
“Isabelle—”
“Nothing. I’m fine. I’m fine.” Her eyes turn glassy, and she releases me. “I have to go.”
I could start a collection of coins for every time she’s said that to me. I’m sure it won’t be the last time I hear those words.
I should let her go this time but the frailness in her appearance pulls at my insides.
It’s strange seeing happy, sunny Isabelle looking like death.
“Do you want me to go with you?” What the hell am I saying? That doesn’t even sound like me, but I said it and whatever made me say it wants her to say yes.
“No.” Her tone is rebuking and that wariness she usually shows me spreads across her face.
I should listen but as I look at her I know she’ll fall on her face the moment I release her. “You’ll fall.”
Her lips part in protest but she knows I’m right.
“Come.” I don’t give her the option to refuse again.
I slip my arm around her and usher her away, ignoring the curious looks that come our way from everyone who can see us. Including my friends. And Thorne.
I ignore them and him. Let them think what the hell ever they want.
With my head up, I focus on the exit ahead and the trembling girl in my arms.
We walk through the doors and the burst of fresh air seems to do her some good. By the time we descend the wide stone steps and reach the pavement she seems stronger.
I walk her over to the water fountain, where we’re away from the groups of people.
I stop there and turn her to face me. The color has returned to her cheeks, and now she’s looking at me like she’s confused. Confused by me.
Yeah, I’m right there with you. I’m confusing myself, too.
“What the hell was that about?” I demand.
“Nothing. I just felt sick.”
Lies. More lies. Not the sweet little ones she’s been whispering to me about not wanting me. These lies are the other kind. The bitter sort.
“It didn’t look that way to me.”
“Well, it’s true. I just felt sick.”
“Isabelle—”
“Stop it.” She steps back, away from me.
“Stop what?”
“Stop acting like you care. It doesn’t suit you. The monster looks better on you. I know him. I don’t know this side of you.”
Her words grip me, but she’s right. I am a monster. I lived up to the label until the past week when I kissed her. Everything seemed to go to hell after that and I haven’t been able to stop myself from wanting her.
“Thanks for your help,” she adds in a dismissive tone.
She whirls around to leave but I grab her arm. We stare at each other, locked in that tension we’re used to.
I want an answer, especially if it’s to do with Parker, but I know what she’s like. She’s as stubborn as me. That’s the one thing we have in common.
“I want you at the game tomorrow.”
“I have to study.”
“Fuck studying. Since when do you need to study?” She’s always been a year ahead of everyone. “I want you at the game tomorrow, front row seats.”
“Fine. Let me go.”
With my jaw clenched, I release her and she walks away from me. Although she still has that tremble in her step, she moves faster than I expect her to given that I nearly had her fainting on me.
She doesn’t need to be at that game tomorrow but I want her to be there because I hated it when she stopped going.
Back in high school there was always a team of cheerleaders screaming my name and a crowd of thousands cheering for me.
But then there was her.
She was always there in a corner seat smiling at me when I got the ball, cheering with every touchdown.
It’s my fault she doesn’t go anymore and my fault that I have to force her now because I want what I used to have.
And in spite of myself and despite everything I have against her, I do care.
I genuinely want to know what’s wrong with her.
Something wicked is happening to me that I’m not sure I can stop.
Or if I want to.
“We have a problem,” Dmitri says with a frown knitting his brows.
We’re at the library, in the medium volume section. Dmitri messaged me an hour ago while I was in advanced calculus, letting me know he wanted to see me.
This section of the library was the best place to meet as we’re on the third floor and away from everyone.
Obviously he wanted to talk face to face or he would have explained it in the message. It must be something to do with my latest plan to steal Nikoli’s money and hit him where it hurts most. The plan is to literally siphon off every motherfucking cent and leave him high and dry.
“What’s going on?” I ask.
“I can’t get back into Nikoli’s bank accounts.”
“But you hacked them last week.”
“I think he picked up my tracking code and changed his security system. I’ve never seen algos like this before. He must have gotten some world-class tech to design something for him.”
“Shit.” My stomach knots. “This is the last thing we need.”
“Sorry, man.”
“Do you think he tracked you back here?”
“That’s the other problem. I think he did. He won’t know it’s me, but he’ll know the location.”
My shoulders fall and I sigh, bringing a weary hand to my head. “Damn it. Now he’ll know that someone from the Knights is messing with him.”
“Nikoli isn’t going to come knocking at the gates of Raventhorn to see who’s fucking with him. He’d be shot on sight.”
“Yeah, but that doesn’t mean he won’t try.”
“I’m sorry, Kade. I fucked up.”
“That’s not your fault. This is a game of risks. Getting caught was always going to be a worry.”
“I know, but I feel like shit. This was important to you.”
“It still is.”
“What do you want to do? We could lie low for a while and hope to throw him off while I try to get back into his accounts. He’ll know that I tried and failed, and might assume that I won’t try again.”
“That sounds like a good idea.” I don’t want to lie low but it’s the sensible thing to do for the moment. “Lying low shits all over my plans to make use of our mission time.” That starts in two nights. The elite unit will be tracking the Armenian mafia guys.
“We just have to work around it.”
“Yeah. Nikoli is going to try to find out who’s messing with him.”
“As long as he doesn’t figure out that it’s you, we’re good. He’s had many run-ins with Knights in the past, so there are a ton of suspects.”
“Then I guess that buys me some time.”
“Me too. I’ll keep trying.”
“Thanks.”
“No worries.” He nods but then gives me a curious stare. “What happened this morning with you and Isabelle?”
I was waiting for someone to ask me about that. “Not a lot.”
Dmitri raises his brows. “That didn’t look like not a lot to me. You helped her. Why?”
“I don’t know.”
“Maybe because you like her.”
I stare back at him, not wanting to confirm or deny anything.
He smirks at my hesitation. “Be careful, Kade. You’re playing a dangerous game there, and sometimes it’s not easy to separate emotion from duty.” He switches his gaze from me and stares at something he sees below us. “Trust me, I know.”
I look around to see what he’s looking at and spot Mackenzie walking into the classical literature section on the floor below us.
Dmitri stares at her with the intensity of a person who has a million things to say.
Feeling his gaze on her, she looks up and the way she freezes and stares back at him piques my interest.
He’s never told me what happened between them but I know it was something bad. It’s no coincidence that they stopped talking and their families were suddenly at war at the same time Tommy, his brother, was murdered.
Coincidences like that don’t happen in our world.
If I were to guess, I’d say his family blamed Mackenzie’s for Tommy’s death. I just don’t know why. I wouldn’t know where to begin piecing that together because Mackenzie’s family isn't like the rest of us.
Dmitri looks away first and Mackenzie looks like her heart sinks. It’s only then that she glances at me, then she walks to the next aisle, disappearing behind the shelves of books.
“Are you two going to be like that forever?” I dare to ask. Usually when I see something like that, I say nothing.
“Maybe.”
“I heard she’s getting engaged to that asshole Levi at the end of the semester. Are you going to allow that to happen?” I sure wouldn’t.
Dmitri narrows his eyes at me. “I don’t know, yet.”
“You know. Maybe?—”
“Don’t. I can’t talk about it, Kade. Can’t talk about her.” Sadness fills his eyes. “Like I said, it’s not always easy to separate emotion from duty. Don’t end up like me, bro.”
He doesn’t give me a chance to respond. He turns and walks away, leaving me in deep contemplation.
We all seem to live in a tangled web of so many secrets. But nothing stays buried or secret forever.
Everything eventually comes to light.
Even for me.