Chapter 24
“ I ’m going to have to start wearing shin-guards to bed.” Rurik slides a cup of coffee in front of me.
Looking up from my phone, I frown. “I’m sorry, did I get you bad?”
He studies me for a moment, the lie detector inside of him turning on. I can practically hear the beeping.
“I’ll live.” He stands up to his full height, and leans his hip against the counter, watching me. “It’s been a few nights since you had one of your terrors. Did something trigger you last night?”
I lay my phone, screen down, on the counter and pick up the coffee.
“No.” I shrug and sip the coffee. It needs more sugar.
“Have you ever seen a doctor about them? Maybe I should bring one over.”
“No need.” I reach around him for the sugar bowl, my cheek brushing against his arm.
I need to get it together. These little touches shouldn’t wake up every nerve ending in my body the way they do.
“I can move into the other room; then you won’t have to worry about being attacked in your sleep.” I force a smile as I head back to my coffee.
Getting away from him would probably help my head. He pushes away from the counter, stalks around the kitchen island, and stands in front of me. I’m caged prey, and the lion just entered.
“You’re not moving into the other room.” His eyes bore into me. I swear he can read me like a book.
“I don’t want to hurt you while you’re asleep.” I flick my gaze away, so he can’t see right into my very soul.
“I’ll survive. You’re sure nothing happened last night that stressed you? These episodes can be brought on by an increase in stress, or by trauma.” He tilts his head to the right, still searching my face.
“If you’re talking about what we did, no, I don’t think that had anything to do with my night terrors making a comeback.” If anything, it was the mysterious text message that kept me up for two hours, but telling him that is not an option.
“Something is bothering you,” he says, brushing away a lock of hair from my forehead. “What is it?”
“Nothing.” I maneuver away from his touch. It’s too distracting when he’s touching me. “Actually, there is something. It’s not a big deal, but I’m running out of clothes.”
“The boxes from your apartment arrived; haven’t you unpacked them?”
Six cardboard boxes showed up two days ago with everything from my previous life neatly stowed away inside.
“I still need a few things. I left a lot behind when you kidnapped me.” I’d taken almost all of my clothes with me when I’d left town the first time. By the time Rurik caught up to me and snatched me up, I’d had to leave more than half of what I owned behind.
“Kidnapped you?” He smirks. “What do you need? I’ll have it brought over.”
“No.” I put a hand on his arm. “Rurik, you can’t keep me locked away like Rapunzel in a tower. I’ll go crazy, and then I’ll make you crazy. And then you’re likely to kill me, which would defeat the entire purpose of keeping me locked away in the first place, right?”
His brow furrows while he tries to follow my logic, but eventually he gets there.
“You’re safer here.”
“I know.” I sigh. “But I’m not happy stuck in this place all day every day. If I pinky promise to always have someone with me, will you at least let me go to the store for myself? I’ll be gone for an hour, maybe two. Or three, if I can get Megan to meet me for lunch?”
“Just shopping?”
I smile. “For today. Tomorrow we can talk about me getting a job. ”
“A job?” He says it likes the most disgusting idea he’s ever heard. “Why would you need that. You have plenty of money.”
“No. I have no money.”
He pulls out his wallet and plops down a black card in front of me. My name is embossed on the front with gold lettering.
“Your account. I meant to give it to you yesterday, but there was all the excitement of having to chase you down.” He pauses. “Again.”
“I don’t want your money, Rurik.” I push the card back toward him.
“It’s not mine. It’s yours.” He shoves it back at me.
“If it’s mine, I can do whatever I want with it? Like get an apartment of my own?”
What was intended as a tease goes horribly wrong. His eyes go dark, and his jaw does that tense thing where I’m sure a tooth will crack.
“No.”
“Of course. It’s my money so long as I follow your rules.” I go back to stirring the sugar into my coffee. “I’m sure you have a lot to do today, I’ll take my coffee upstairs and get out of your hair.”
Before I can get a step away, he grabs my arm and spins me back to face him.
“It’s your money. Do whatever you want with it. If you want a job, get a job, but not until we have Marco.”
“If I have the money, I can pay him what he thinks I owe. He’ll leave me alone then. ”
“The fire yesterday.” He releases my arm. “It was him sending a message, Mira. He’s at war with Alexander, so he went after his storage units. He knows I have you, so he went after my building. He won’t stop until he has you, and I’m not going to let that happen.”
“He’s a real stubborn son of a bitch, huh?” I put my cup back down. “I’m sorry. I brought all of this to you, to Alexander, to Megan.”
“You got caught up in a mess of your ex-boyfriend’s doing. Everything that happened after that is Marco’s doing.” He runs the back of his knuckles along my jaw, and I know he means for it to be comforting, but it only makes the guilt harder to breathe around.
“It’s not right others having to pay for my choices.”
“We’re not ‘others,’ we’re your family now. Megan would kill Alexander in his sleep if anything happens to you.” His eyebrows lift. “And I would be devastated if something happened. I will protect you with my life, Mira. By now, you should know I mean what I say.”
I stare into his eyes, searching for the signs of bullshit. He’s saying the right things, and in the right way, and it’s making me feel all the feels that I’ve been desperately trying not to feel for him. But doubt creeps in, anyway.
“I do.” My shoulders drop, the weight too much to bear. “But what if I’ve done something unforgivable? You’d all be better without me here.”
He narrows his eyes.
“That is not true, no matter what you think you’ve done.”
He has no idea what he’s saying because he doesn’t know how all of this is my fault. And if I tell him, he’ll see what a true fuck-up I really am. He’ll see how dangerous I can be. But if I tell him, maybe we can get it all fixed and Megan won’t have to be in danger anymore.
I’ll lose her, and him, but they’d all be safe.
“All right.” I give an exaggerated sigh. “I won’t get my own apartment. I’ll keep an armed guard with me at all times. I won’t even try to get a job yet.”
A hint of a smile touches his lips. “Then you can go shopping. Two armed guards at all times and you listen to every word they say. Yes?”
“Of course. Every word.”
“Or…”
“Or you’ll make me regret it. I understand.” I give a nod so he sees I’m taking him seriously.
He pulls back, his eyes still searching me. How can this man who has known me such a short time know me better than anyone else in my life? He senses something’s wrong, but thankfully he doesn’t push it.
“All right then. Max and Sergei will be with you today. I’ll let them know.” He cups the back of my head, bringing me closer to him. “Behave today, Mira. I want you safely tucked in bed when I get home tonight. Understood?”
I let myself get lost in his eyes for the moment, letting the warm current of happiness and security his touch brings me flow through me. It’s dangerous allowing myself this moment, because it has to end.
All of this has to end.
“I promise, Rurik. On my best behavior today.” I paste a smile on my lips, even though the ache in my chest at lying straight to him is getting worse as the moments pass.
“Use your card; buy anything you want. The account replenishes when it dips below a certain amount, so it will never decline.”
“I really don’t need your money, Rurik.”
“I take care of what’s mine.” He brushes his lips across mine.
Softly at first, and then again, harder, until he captures my mouth beneath his. Possession. It’s the same every time he kisses me. Each time I believe a little more that he’s right, that I belong to him.
That I deserve that.
I’m breathless when he pulls back, but my resolve is the same. For his own protection, I have to do what’s right.
I have to make this all right.
“And you’re mine, Mira, even if you still need some time to accept it.”
I lick my lips, still tasting him there. “You think very highly of yourself, you know.”
“When I decide something, I don’t change my mind.”
“Oh, I bet there’s situations where you need to change your mind.” Like this one.
Because when he figures out all of this is completely my doing, he’s going to want to dump me in the first shallow grave he can find.
“When I get home tonight, you’re going to tell me what’s rambling around in that head of yours.” He taps my temple. “No more secrets. ”
“Okay,” I agree with a whisper. “Tonight. We’ll talk tonight.”
“Max.” Rurik turns his attention to the footsteps behind me. “You’re on Mira-duty today. Keep your eyes on her at all times and take her wherever she wants to go.” He pauses to give me a look. “Within reason.”
“Of course,” Max answers.
“I need to call Megan, see if she wants to meet up for lunch.”
“Take Sergei with you,” Rurik adds before turning back to me, his gaze sultry and dark as they meet mine. “I’ll be late tonight. When you’re done shopping, if you want to go to Alexander’s, I can pick you up from there.”
I nod. “I’ll text you. Megan might have plans.”
He pauses a moment, like he’s not sure he buys my words. “Fine. Text me.”
“Yes.” I smile. “Promise.”
He hesitates only another second before turning and walking from the kitchen. He stops to talk to Max quietly, then disappears down the hall.
“I just need to get my stuff, then we can go.” I hurry from the kitchen and run up the stairs, my phone fisted in my hand.
With my heart doing the conga all the way up my throat, I type out a message and wait. There’s not enough air in this room. Pacing doesn’t help, but sitting still will probably leave me in a full-blown panic attack.
Instead of a text, he calls. I answer on the first ding of the notification.
“You could have just texted back,” I whisper, checking the hallway before shutting the bedroom door. I can’t chance being overheard.
“I needed to be certain it was you reaching out.” Detective Calloway’s condescending tone drips through the airwaves.
“Who else would be–– you know what, it doesn’t matter. It’s me. I’m reaching out to you.”
“And Mr. Mikhailov? Is he aware?”
I growl, a low, annoyed sound because Rurik has managed to even get the police to believe that I answer to him.
“This has nothing to do with Mr. Mikhailov.”
“What is it you want to tell me, Ms. Pierce? Are you ready to tell me what happened with Nico?”
“I’ve already told you everything I know about that. Which is nothing.” I glance back at the door and walk further into the room. “I’m not talking to you about Nico.”
“Oh? Then what did you want to talk about?” His snobby, condescending tone is as pleasant as freshly manicured nails dragging down a chalkboard.
I take a steady breath. “Marco DeAngelo.”