8. Ezekiel
8
Ezekiel
L ook, I knew asking Sam if he wanted phone sex was moronic. I was supposed to be putting distance between us, not moving our relationship to the next level.
But I couldn’t help it. Ever since that day in the pub, I’d had Rami’s words echoing in my head.
“ What if he is? ”
It was such an innocuous question. In any other context, it might not have mattered.
But in this one? In the one where I was trying to determine whether the man I’d never met but was slowly falling for was my mate?
Yeah. It definitely fucking mattered.
When Sam had asked to meet, I’d panicked. If that happened, and it turned out he wasn’t my mate, everything would end sooner.
I wasn’t ready for that to happen.
That and petty jealousy was why I’d offered to get Sam off over the phone. I didn’t know what Sam looked like. I didn’t know what sound he made as he came.
But what I did know was that I didn’t want anyone else finding out either. I didn’t care what had happened in the past, but I certainly cared about what he did now.
The idea of him being with anyone other than me had me wanting to scour the city until I found him. To kidnap him and keep him hidden away because he was mine. So no one else, not even my fated mate, could keep us apart.
Given that was fucked up on several levels, ones I probably needed to see a therapist for, I hadn’t done that. Thankfully, with Sam agreeing to my plan, all of that could be avoided.
For now, anyway. There was going to come a time when I’d have to either meet him, or cut him off.
I wasn’t ready for either of those options. Future me could deal, because present me couldn’t think past making Sam feel good.
Past knowing it was me making him feel that way.
Rapping my knuckles on the door frame, I sent up a prayer that Nate was in a helpful mood. “You busy?”
Nate’s bulky frame was almost folded in half as he peered at the lines of code racing over his screen. “Depends on whether you’re going to be a cunt today.”
The monster snarled, but I shoved it down, thinking of Sam. “Only if you are.”
Nate stretched his arms high, bones cracking in his back. “Nah, can’t be fucked. Already kicked the shit out of Theo this morning, so I’m good for a while.”
“Really? I didn’t hear the alarms.” The fights Nate got into with his twin were violent and destructive. If they weren’t separated almost immediately, it’d mean broken furniture, walls, or whatever else happened to be in their way. We’d installed an alarm system decades ago with buttons hidden in every room. If pressed, every angel on the premises would congregate to stop them…hopefully before they truly got into it.
“We took it outside,” Nate said with a yawn. “We wanted to be able to work off some aggression without one of you twats spoiling our fun.”
My lips twitched. “Your idea of fun is fucked up.”
It wasn’t that Nate and Theo hated each other; far from it. But they were siblings. Siblings who lived and worked together. Siblings who didn’t really feel pain and couldn’t permanently die.
It made sense that they took their frustrations out on each other rather than the rest of us. Micah had theorised that it was their way of protecting others.
“Meh, could be worse.” Nate cocked his head to the side, narrowing his eyes. “What’s wrong with you?”
I touched my face in confusion. “Me? Nothing. Why?”
Nate pushed to his feet, prowling the short distance between us until we were toe to toe. “Yes there is. Your face. It’s weird. What the fuck is that?”
Shoving him away, I marched over to the mirror in the corner. A quick check revealed nothing other than my own face staring back at me. “Are you winding me up?”
“I’m not,” Nate protested, holding his hands up placatingly. “You just…you look different. That’s all.”
I glared at Nate, and suddenly he laughed. Then he clapped his hand over his mouth to try and contain it. “Sorry. Just realised what it was.”
“What?” I was starting to wonder if what I wanted from Nate was worth all this bullshit.
“You weren’t frowning.” Nate dropped back into his chair, turning his attention back to his screen. As our resident tech guy, he was kept busy hacking into all the cameras in our vicinity to erase any supe action that had been caught. He did a lot of other shit too, but I’d never really paid much attention if I was being honest. Before Sam, I hadn’t spent longer than a few minutes using any technology if I could help it. “Guess I’m not used to seeing you without one on your face.”
“I don’t frown all the time.”
He didn’t look back as he replied. “Dude, you’re literally frowning right now.”
I flicked my gaze to the mirror to see he was right. Running my fingers over the grooves in my brow, I wondered if this was how I always looked. Maybe it was, but I’d never cared before.
Why did I suddenly care now?
“Anyway, did you need something? Some CCTV you need me to clean up?”
“No.” I dropped my hand from my face and turned away from my reflection. “Um, I was wondering if you have any headphones I can borrow.”
“What kind?”
“There are different kinds?”
Nate muttered something about me being a grandad under his breath. It didn’t bother me. He was right; I was more stuck in my ways than the rest of them. “Wired or wireless? Over-ear or earbuds? Noise cancelling or not?”
I thought hard. Mainly, I wanted to be able to have my hands free and for none of my housemates to ‘accidentally’ hear Sam over the speaker. “Um, wireless, noise cancelling earbuds.”
“Top shelf, third box from the left,” Nate said, returning to his typing. “They won’t cancel noise for you entirely; our hearing is too sensitive for that. But it’ll help dull out the loudest ones.”
“Thanks.” I grabbed the box in question. The headphones looked brand new, the cellophane packaging intact. “Want me to give them back after?”
“Fuck no.” Nate shuddered. “That’s unhygienic, for a start.”
My lips twitched. “We’re angels, Nate. It’s not like germs affect us.”
“S’not the point,” he said with a sniff. “Keep them. I’ll order another pair.”
“Thanks.” I clapped him on the shoulder. He turned his head to stare down at my hand in confusion. Had I really been that awful to all of them that something as simple as this was considered unusual?
Apparently so, based on how Nate was now eyeing me. “Dunno what’s going on with you, man, but whatever it is, I like it.”
I thought of Sam and my heart flipped in my chest. “I like it too.”
A few hours later, I was in my room. I’d made sure to lock the outer door to my wing, along with the two inner ones that led to my bedroom. As well as using the deadbolts, I’d also warded each entryway.
It wouldn’t stop a single one of my housemates, but it’d slow them down. I didn’t usually bother with this, not even during the many phone calls I’d now had with Sam. Nor did the other Seraphim usually barge into my space uninvited, but that didn’t mean it never happened.
And with what I had planned for Sam, it was sod’s law that they’d choose tonight. I didn’t want any of them interfering or learning about what was going on.
Not that any of them would care, but they’d certainly have questions, Micah especially. After what he’d been through in the past, he was understandably against any of us becoming romantically involved with anyone other than our mates. It wasn’t forbidden or anything like that, but he didn’t want us suffering.
Like he had for centuries…until he met Nox.
Ever since the pub, Rami had been looking at me differently, staring like he was wondering where my head was at and why I hadn’t tracked Sam down to answer the question I was avoiding.
Unlike me, he didn’t get it. He didn’t understand that sometimes it was better to live in denial than suffer the agony of the truth.
Tonight, I was taking a step I knew I shouldn’t, but I couldn’t help myself. If Sam wasn’t my mate, I was going to have to let him go eventually.
But not tonight. Tonight was for us.
When there was a minute to go before the time I’d said I’d call, I sat on my bed and made myself comfortable. A small bottle of lube was within easy reach. I wasn’t under any illusions about where this was going to end. Normally it didn’t take more than a simple flirtatious comment from Sam to have me reaching for my cock as soon as we hung up.
Putting the earbuds in, I hit call.
Sam answered after a single ring. “Hi.”
“Hi, Sam.” I loved the way his name tasted in my mouth. Sam. “How are you doing?”
“Umm…a little nervous.” He chuckled. “Not sure why, I’m not usually. Then again, usually the bloke is in the same room as me.”
God, what I wouldn’t have given to be in his room right then. To be able to see if his pupils were blown with arousal. To learn how he might shiver if I ran my hand over his leg. To hear how his breath might hitch when I did something he liked.
Well, hopefully I’d be able to experience the last one at least. “Don’t be nervous. I’ve got you. I might not be there, but that doesn’t mean I’m not in charge. I’m going to tell you what to do. How to get yourself off exactly as I’d do it if I were there. Does that sound okay to you?”
“Okay?” he said breathily. “It sounds perfect.”
“Good,” I growled. “Are you on your bed?”
“No, I’m on my desk chair. Do you want me to move?”
I bit my lip, palming myself through my shorts. “No, baby. I want you to stay right there.”
There was that hitch of breath I’d been hoping for.
“Baby?”
“Is that okay?” I asked.
“No one’s ever called me that before.”
That wasn’t an answer. “Is it okay if I call you that tonight?”
“It sounds perfect.” It was the exact same response as earlier, but it made something in my chest start to ache with a yearning to be able to call him that all the time. A need to see him, to trace his features.
A pull.
I froze as the realisation hit me. Was this what Micah and Nox had been describing? Was this the pull?
Was Sam my mate?
“Zeke? Can you hear me?”
Sam’s question made me realise it wasn’t the first time he’d spoken. “Sorry, baby. My mind slipped for a moment.”
“We can do this another time, if you like. Or not at all. I don’t want you to feel uncomfortable or anything. Oh my god, did I pressure you into doing this? I’m the worst. I can’t believe this?—”
I sat bolt upright, forcing all thoughts of mates out of my mind. Sam was spiralling. Regardless of what he was to me, right now, he was mine. Mine to comfort. Mine to reassure. “Stop. Sam, you’ve done nothing.”
He gave a small whimper. “Are you sure?”
“Positive, baby. I’m sorry I lost focus for a second. Believe me, it wasn’t because of you.” Well, not because of anything he’d done, anyway. “The last thing I feel right now is uncomfortable, unless we’re counting being uncomfortably hard, that is.”
Sam laughed, and something in me relaxed at the sound. “I had that problem too. Up until a minute ago, anyway.”
“We’ll get you back there. But first, let me be clear. You’re not pressuring me into anything. I was the one who suggested this, remember? If anything, I should be checking that this is something you want.”
“It is,” he said quickly. “More than anything.”
“Good. Now, what are you wearing?”
“Nothing on my top half. Just…underwear on my bottom half.”
I latched on to that pause like a wolf going after a rabbit. “What kind of underwear?”
“A jockstrap.” His breaths were coming quicker now. “A bright red one.”
My cock twitched in my shorts. “I bet you look so sexy in it. If I was there, I’d make you bend over the desk while still wearing it. I’d spread your legs and hold your cheeks open so I could look at your beautiful hole for as long as I liked.”
“Fuck, Zeke,” he whimpered. “I want that.”
I groaned, shoving my shorts down. There was no way this was going to last as long as I wanted it to. I was desperate for him.
“Me too. Tell me, do you like to bottom?”
“Yes, I prefer it.” He paused for a moment before continuing hesitantly. “Do you…I mean, are you…”
“A top?” My laugh was low and filthy. “I’ll be whatever you want me to be. But nothing would make me happier than pinning you under me while you take my cock.”
“Zeke.” He was begging already. “Can I touch myself?”
Fuck me, could Sam be any more perfect? I’d always had a touch of a dominant streak in the bedroom, and Sam asking for permission?
It was like fate had smiled down on me, giving me the one I’d been waiting for.
Please let Sam be the one I’ve been waiting for.
“In a second,” I said. Sam huffed but didn’t argue. “Take your underwear off first. As sexy as I’m sure they are, I want you to be comfortable.”
“Okay.” There was a shuffling noise before he paused. “Actually, can I send you a photo?”
I choked on my own saliva in my haste to answer, resulting in a coughing fit. Fortunately I recovered faster than a human would have. Unfortunately though, not fast enough for Sam to have missed it.
“Oh dear, did I accidentally almost kill you?” His tone was a blend of smugness and amusement.
I swigged some water from the glass on my bedside table before answering. “Don’t worry, it’d take more than a bit of choking to take me out. But yes, in case you didn’t get that from me almost dying in excitement, of course you can send me a picture. You can send me whatever you like, anytime you like.”
“Okay, hang on.”
A few beats passed before there was a beep in my ear, notifying me of the incoming message.
Lifting my phone, I groaned as the photo filled the screen. It was a shot of his body, his face cut off. He was sprawled in his chair, leaning backwards. His legs were spread, a hot red jock barely containing his bulge. My mouth watered as I studied it, wondering how much I’d be able to fit into my mouth. He wasn’t muscled, which I fucking loved. He was built to cuddle. There was a small smattering of hair on his chest surrounding his dusky nipples. He was tall, but I guessed shorter than I was.
He was all of my fantasies given life. Everything except for his face, which I couldn’t fucking see.
I memorised every detail, wanting to know everything that went with the voice I’d grown to…care for.
“You like it?” His question was almost shy.
“I love it.” I stroked my fingers over the photo, like I might somehow be able to feel his skin through the screen. It was on the tip of my tongue to ask him to send a shot of his face.
No, you’re already obsessing. Don’t make it harder on yourself.
I swallowed the question back. “You’re stunning, Sam. Absolute perfection.”
“I bet you say that to everyone you’re about to have phone sex with.”
I laughed. “Actually, you’d be the first there.”
“Really?”
“Really. My personality doesn’t generally work in my favour. I find I’m more likely to get laid if I don’t speak.”
“Huh. I find that…odd.”
“You do?”
“Yeah. It’s not like your personality’s ever put me off. If anything, it’s done the opposite. It’s what got us here. And I don’t know what you look like, so that’s not got anything to do with the fact I’m currently naked.”
I stared at the ceiling. How was it that Sam was so perfect for me? He had to be my mate, right?
A question popped into my brain, rolled through my nervous system and straight out of my mouth before I had a chance to stop it. “Do you want to know?”
Sam’s breath caught again. “Do I want to know what you look like?”
“Yes.” I closed my eyes, as if that might soften the blow about to fall. It didn’t matter what he said, it was going to hit me regardless. Either he’d say no, leaving me feeling rejected, or he’d say yes, and I’d be dragging us deeper into this mess.
That was assuming he wasn’t my mate, of course. If by some miracle fate had smiled down on me and given me someone as perfect as Sam for the rest of eternity, this could just be a cute anecdote we told people in future.
The time I got jealous and insisted on having phone sex instead of Sam actually getting laid by someone. Yeah, super cute.
See? Sarcastic inner voice again.
“Okay,” Sam said eventually. “Show me what you’ve got.”