23. Ezekiel
23
Ezekiel
A drenaline was riding me hard as we stepped back into the kitchen. A large part of me couldn’t believe Sam was still there. There’d been many times I’d expected him to walk away, but he hadn’t.
Instead, he’d comforted me. Told me it was okay.
He…understood me.
For the first time since my father was killed, there was another soul who knew what I’d gone through. And, unlike my father, Sam hadn’t seen what I’d gone through as growth. Training. A necessary regime to create the perfect soldier.
He’d called it something I’d never considered before.
Abuse.
It had put a new filter on everything. On every guilty thought I’d had about my father. The shame I’d felt at my lack of grief. The fury about someone else having the pleasure of snuffing out his life.
All the weight of what I’d been struggling under for centuries had been lifted by one conversation with Sam.
It was a revelation.
I wasn’t naive enough to believe it was gone forever, but this was a start. If I could get my monster under control, perhaps Sam would never leave. Maybe I could find a new harmony with the Seraphim if I wasn’t losing my temper all the time.
Now, I was going to tell Sam everything else he didn’t know about me. I’d been waiting for the right time, but I could tell my explanation had given him more questions than answers.
If I wanted Sam to fall in love with me, he had to know the real me. The full story. Every blood-soaked, rage-filled page.
Any love that came before that wouldn’t be real. It would have no roots, no foundation to sustain it, no promise of forever.
And that was the only kind I’d accept for us.
I stopped abruptly at the sight of the twins sat at the kitchen table. They were side by side, hands clasped before them, solemn expressions on their faces.
When their gazes slid sideways to Sam, their cheeks coloured. Both my brows shot up. What the fuck was happening right now?
Nate cleared his throat, his eyes darting back to me. “We want to apologise to you, Sam. To both of you.”
Theo’s head bobbed rapidly. “Yes. We behaved like complete twats. You’re a guest here, Sam, and you never should’ve seen us behave that way.”
“I think you mean you should never have wound Zeke up like that,” Sam said, narrowing his eyes. “Because that’s what the issue really is, not that it happened in front of me.”
My vision blurred again. I’d heard Sam stick up for me earlier, but here he was doing it again. I didn’t know how to handle it. How could I thank him for this? For giving me the one thing I’d never had? For not running away the minute he saw the worst part of me.
By loving him unconditionally . Forever.
Yes. I’d spend every day making him happy. This beautiful, accepting man who asked nothing from anyone.
I was going to give him everything .
“That’s right,” Nate said, elbowing his twin in the ribs. “We shouldn’t have wound Zeke up. We won’t do it again.”
Theo scowled at Nate, rubbing his ribs. “We won’t?”
A throat cleared, making me startle. I turned to see Nox leaning against the doorjamb, arms folded over his chest. He raised a brow at Theo. “Do we need another chat ?”
“No,” Theo muttered. It was then I noted the slight burn marks ringing the base of their throats and around their wrists. “We’re good. We will be good. Sorry, Zeke.”
“I’m sorry too,” I said, my voice gruff. Wasn’t like I was used to apologising, but the twins were trying, so I would too. “I shouldn’t have reacted violently.”
Theo’s lips twitched, like he was dying to ask if I had another way to react. But whatever Nox had done or said while I’d been walking with Sam had him keeping his mouth shut.
“See? It’s easier if we use our words,” Sam said, nodding in satisfaction.
I wanted to squeeze him, to hold him against me and never let go. He was too good for this world. He was too good for me.
Nox winked at me before vanishing into the shadows of the hall. Sure, some words and a fuck-tonne of violence and threats from our resident demon.
Sam continued. “Save the violence for the situations where it actually matters.”
My head whipped around at the dark note in his voice to find him staring at me. I knew what he was thinking about, the situations in which he’d approve of violence.
I couldn’t love this man more. Seriously, I couldn’t.
Nate sighed from the table. “Okay, they’re just too cute. I need to find my ma?—”
Theo slapped his hand over his twin’s mouth. “His man. He was going to say his man.”
Sam frowned in confusion while Nate eyed me sheepishly. It was a good reminder of why we’d come indoors and the conversation we needed to have. “Come on, let’s go upstairs.”
My nerves spiked as we walked through the house. Could Sam feel how clammy my hand was? Could he tell that my breathing had sped up?
There was no denying how monumental this was. What if he didn’t take the news of what I was well? What if he didn’t believe me? I could prove it to him, of course I could, but what if that freaked him out even more?
“Hey.” Sam squeezed my hand, giving me the same reassuring smile he had earlier. “It’s okay. Whatever you’re going to tell me, I’m sure it’ll be okay.”
He said that now, but Sam didn’t know anything about my world. What if he didn’t want to be tied to me for all eternity?
You don’t have to bond with him right now, I reminded myself. There’s plenty of time. You’re giving him all the information so he can make an informed decision.
I took a steadying breath, smiling weakly back at my mate. “I hope you’re right.”
Maybe he would be. He’d taken what I’d told him about my father far better than I could’ve hoped.
“Ezekiel?”
Micah’s blond head poked out of the study. His eyes darted between Sam and I. “Sorry. Can I borrow Ezekiel for a few hours?”
My jaw clenched. “Now?”
Micah winced apologetically. “Yes. I’m afraid this is…urgent.”
Frustration had me wanting to scream. I’d psyched myself up for this talk, and now I was going to have to wait?
“It’s fine,” Sam said quietly, sliding his hand out of mine. I felt the loss immediately, needing to clench my hand into a fist to stop myself from grabbing him. “I’m behind on work anyway. My phone’s been vibrating in my pocket for the last half hour.”
Micah slipped back inside the office, giving us a few moments of privacy. “I’m sorry. I really do want to have this talk with you now.”
“I know.” He smiled. “It’s alright, really. Whatever it is, I’m sure waiting a few more hours won’t hurt.”
I blew out a frustrated breath. He was right. I’d waited this long, a little longer wouldn’t make a difference. “Are you sure you’ll be okay without me here?”
“Sure.” His shoulders were tense, his fingers tapping. It was funny, I’d never really paid this much attention to anyone in the past, but already I knew so many of Sam’s tells. “I really do have work to do.”
“Okay.” I pulled him close and dropped a kiss on his forehead. “Hopefully I won’t be long, but I’ll have my phone on me. If I’m not back by dinner and you don’t feel like company, just drop me a text and I’ll have someone bring you some food.”
Sam rolled his eyes. “I don’t need?—”
I cut him off with a kiss, not stopping until I felt him relax. “I know you don’t need us to wait on you, but we want to. Okay?”
“I’m sure your housemates have better things to do.”
Better than making sure my mate felt comfortable and happy? I bet they fucking didn’t. The twins might not have made the best first impression, but I knew that even they didn’t want to fuck this up for me. “Trust me, it’ll be fine.”
Rami appeared at the end of the corridor, Benji on his heels. A few seconds later, Noah, Grace, and Breann rounded the corner. Nox and the twins walked past us from the kitchen, the twins glancing sheepishly at Sam. All of them filed into the office wearing matching grim expressions.
A chill crawled up my spine. Whatever was happening, it wasn’t good.
Suddenly, it was easier to walk away from Sam. If there was something coming that might threaten his safety or well-being, I needed to know every detail. “I’ve got to go, but we’ll talk later, okay?”
“Okay.” Sam gave me one final peck before nudging me after the others. “You go work and I’ll do the same.”
I waited until he’d disappeared up the stairs before storming into the office. “This had better be fucking life threatening.” The heavy silence around the conference table confirmed my worst fears. “Shit, what is it?”
“Sit down, Ez,” Micah said, indicating the empty spot beside him. The old guilt panged as I realised I should’ve been here already. As his second, I should’ve been here before the rest of the unit had been summoned.
“Stop feeling bad,” Rami said, correctly guessing the direction my thoughts had taken. “No one here blames you for wanting to spend time with your mate.”
“Rami’s right,” Micah said, giving me a kind smile I wasn’t sure I deserved. “This is a special time for both of you. If this wasn’t so urgent, I wouldn’t have dreamed of summoning you.”
I slid into my seat. “I still feel bad. I’ve basically just thrown you in the deep end on your own.”
“What are the rest of us?” Theo asked indignantly. “Chopped liver? We might fuck around, but we’re more than capable of picking up your slack.”
“When I find my mate, I don’t plan on leaving the bedroom for at least a month.” Nate propped his chin on his hands, staring into the distance. “I’ll make you bring us all the sustenance we need so we can keep fucking like rabbits.”
Noah’s mouth twisted as he undoubtedly lined up a sarcastic diatribe. Before he could deliver it, Micah rapped his knuckles on the table.
“Settle. We don’t have time. Ez, you’re more than entitled to spend this time with your mate, so stop feeling guilty. Besides, Theo’s right, everyone else is able to help. And what’s more, you came when I asked. That’s good enough for me.”
With how everyone was peering at me, I felt like a creature under a microscope. I sank down in my chair, grunting. “Okay. Get on with it then.”
Micah’s back straightened as he surveyed the table. “As I was saying before Ez entered, myself and Ezekiel have been summoned before the court.”
My brows shot up. “For what?”
“The summons doesn’t say.” He slid the paper in front of me so I could read the message myself. Sure enough, there was just the one sentence requesting our presence upstairs within the hour.
It was the signature at the bottom that made me pause. “Gloria. She’s the one summoning us.”
“Indeed.” Micah’s lips thinned into a line as he tapped his finger on the table. “On the plus side, she didn’t send a messenger this time, which implies we aren’t necessarily in trouble.”
“But on the flip side, she could’ve just sent the orders in an email,” Nate said. “That’s how missions have all been given in recent years.”
“All with the exception of the time she instructed me to murder my mate,” Micah said darkly, his eyes flicking to the demon in question. “Which is why I’m suspicious.”
My world tilted to the side. “Do you think she knows about Sam?”
The heavy silence that followed told me I wasn’t the only one considering this question.
“The timing does seem odd,” Micah admitted eventually. “But even if she does know about your mate, it shouldn’t matter. Sam is human. There’s no reason, morally or constitutionally, why you can’t mate him.”
What he was saying made sense, but it wasn’t enough reassurance for me. I turned to Benji, silently begging him to make it better.
He frowned at me, clearly struggling to read me. “What?”
“He wants to know if Heaven can come between him and his mate,” Noah said gently. “Is there anything in the laws that prohibits his bonding with Sam?”
“No.” Benji’s brows furrowed, his eyes darting from side to side as though racing over lines of text. Knowing him, that was probably exactly what he was doing in his brain. “All the laws protect the mates of archs. Sam is human, so there’s no reason at all for them to interfere.”
I sank down in my seat in relief. “Okay, that makes me feel better.”
“Wouldn’t count your chickens yet,” Nox said. “Micah and I have seen firsthand how Gloria can twist the laws to suit her own agenda.”
“True, but the laws won out in the end,” Micah said. “We have to have faith that it’ll happen again.”
I frowned back down at the paper. “Why only us, though? And what does she want?”
Micah glanced at Nox. His demon mate looked about thirty seconds away from committing mass murder. He knew, just as I did, what Micah was going to say next. “Guess we’ll have to go there and find out.”