30. Ezekiel
30
Ezekiel
S am was looking at me, waiting for my answer. But my mind was hooked on the line Benji had crossed. He had to know that he could never compel Sam again.
I couldn’t leave Sam waiting though, not without giving him something. “I’ll explain everything, I promise. Just let me deal with this first?”
Sam glanced at Benji, tugging on his earlobe. “Okay.”
I kissed his cheek before getting to my feet and turning to face Benji. “You compelled him.”
Benji tilted his head to the side, puzzled. “Yes.”
I gritted my teeth, trying to force the monster not to make an appearance. “And you don’t see how that was a violation?”
“No.” Benji shrugged. “It was the easiest way to make him understand. His brain wouldn’t let him accept the truth, and this was the simplest solution.”
The monster was prowling, ready to be unleashed. “Benji, you cannot compel my mate.”
Benji paused, puzzled. “But I just did.”
Noah groaned, shooting me an empathetic look. It reassured me that I wasn’t being ridiculous here. “Sam already spends so much time fighting his brain, Ben. You can’t go in there and fiddle with it further.”
Sam sucked in a breath. “Wait, what?”
The monster was roaring at the air now, begging me to unleash it on Benji.
He was only trying to help.
That might’ve been true, but he had to understand that it wasn’t something he could ever repeat. “Benji, I need you to promise me that you’ll never compel Sam again.”
Benji frowned. “You’re upset. I don’t understand why. Sam was panicking because he didn’t understand, and now he does and is no longer anxious.”
“I’m upset because he’s my mate,” I roared. “He already doesn’t trust what his brain tells him, and now you’ve gone in and messed around with it. How is he supposed to trust anything we tell him now?”
“Oh.” Benji’s mouth opened slightly as the meaning finally sank in. “Okay, I’m sorry. But it’s done now, so there’s no point in being upset about it.”
The leash on my monster snapped as power crackled over my skin. “No point ?”
Before I could do anything I was bound to regret later, a hand firmly gripped mine. “Come on, Zeke. Let’s take a lap.”
The monster faltered. “But?—”
“Nope.” Sam tugged on my hand. His other free hand continued tugging on his earlobe—was that his anxiety? “We’re taking a lap.”
Benji and Noah stood aside to let us leave. Sam kept his chin held high, but his hand was trembling in mine. His fingers hadn’t left his ear either.
He might know the truth now, but it had come at a cost. Sam had suggested this lap for me, but really, I thought he needed it too.
I waited until we stepped out into the brisk morning air before speaking. “Are you okay?”
“Am I okay,” Sam repeated with a hysterical laugh. “No, Zeke. I can quite confidently say that I’m not okay.”
I cursed everyone from the twins, to Benji, to myself.
If I’d told him about this before now, he wouldn’t have been panicked at my death. I mean, yes, it would’ve been traumatic for him to see me die, but nowhere near as bad if he knew I’d wake up fully healed after a few minutes.
And if the twins had managed to keep their tempers under control, none of this would’ve happened. I could still be in bed, calmly explaining everything to Sam. Stopping when he had questions. Unravelling the complex layers of my true nature one at a time. Pausing to give him time to process.
Instead, he’d found out everything at once.
Thanks to Benji, that included the fact that he was my fated mate.
We made our way to the woods automatically, retracing our steps from yesterday. I rubbed at my temple. How had so little time passed when so much had happened?
“Where would you like me to start?”
Sam itched at his ear, shaking his head a little. “Um, the mates thing. Is that like in the books and movies? Like, you saw me and decided you had some kind of claim over me?”
I winced at his phrasing. “Not really. Well, I do think you’re mine, but that doesn’t mean you have to accept it. It’s more that you’re the other half of my heart and soul. The one who comes above everything and everyone else.”
Sam stopped walking and faced me. “You’re being serious? Me?”
I nodded. “Yes, Sam. You.”
“You can’t be certain. Maybe you’ve made a mistake.”
“There was no mistake.” I brushed my hand lightly over his jaw. “I knew as soon as I saw you that that’s who you are to me.”
Sam’s shoulders slumped. “So that’s why you brought me here. It wasn’t because you actually like me, but because you think I’m yours.”
“You are mine,” I said, tightening my grip on his chin as he tried to look away. “That won’t ever change, Sam. The question is whether you want me to be yours.”
He bit his lip, his fingers worrying at his ear. “You didn’t know for sure until you saw me.”
“Yes.”
“But you were going to break up with me.” Sam’s eyes filled with tears. “You didn’t want me until you knew I was your mate. Me alone, I wasn’t good enough for you to want to be with.”
“That’s not it at all,” I said fiercely. “I hoped and fucking prayed that you were my mate, Sam. From the very first time we spoke, I knew you were special, and that conviction grew with every day that passed. I wanted you, Sam. More than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.”
He blinked and a tear slid free. “Then why did you call me that night? Why were you going to leave me?”
“Because I saw my mate earlier that day.” I recalled the heartache I’d felt in that moment, seeing him and not knowing it was Sam. “Outside a post office in Notting Hill. He shook hands with the man he was with before getting into a car that wasn’t yours.”
“You saw me,” Sam said slowly. “But had no idea it was me.”
“I knew what car you drove. That you didn’t like to shake hands. Most of all, I thought you were at home in bed.”
“But I wasn’t.”
I smiled. “I know that now, but as far as I was concerned, I’d just seen my fated mate. And he wasn’t you.”
A shadow flickered over Sam’s face. His other hand rose to rub at the opposite ear. “So you were going to break up with me to pursue him.”
“No. I was breaking up with you because I knew that if I didn’t walk away before meeting you, I would never be able to do it. Not even for my fated mate.”
Sam blinked rapidly. “Then why did you come that night? When you knew I was in danger?”
“Because, even then, I think I knew I was in love with you. I wasn’t ready to admit it, not even to myself, but that’s what it was. I didn’t give a fuck that you weren’t who I was supposed to be with, all I cared about was that you were in danger. That you could be hurt. I wouldn’t let that happen. I’d never let that happen, Sam.”
Sam was frozen, both hands on his ears. “You love me?”
I rubbed at the back of my neck. “I know it’s fast, and I don’t expect you to be in the same place as me but?—”
“But I am,” Sam said quickly, his lips curving into a beautiful smile. “I love you, Zeke. And I don’t give a fuck if it’s too fast. I haven’t had many people take a chance on me. Now that you have? I’m not letting you go.”
My rich laugh was quickly cut off as Sam hissed. He clamped both his hands over his ears, his skin paling. “Can you hear that?”
I went deadly still, using my supernatural hearing. There were more people in the house now, likely the rest of the Seraphim had headed back when the alarm hadn’t immediately been cancelled. Sam wouldn’t be able to pick that up with his human hearing though. And, even if he could, I doubted it’d be affecting him like this. “What can you hear?”
“It’s like a loud humming.” He rubbed at his ears furiously. “It started earlier, and it’s just getting worse. I don’t feel right, Zeke.”
My heart skipped a beat. “What else feels wrong, baby?”
“Head’s al’muzzy.” His words were slurred, and he suddenly listed to the right. I caught him before he’d moved more than an inch. “Ears don’t feel right, Zeke. Noise needs to stop. Don’t like it.”
The fear from earlier resurfaced, but it was so much more potent now. It wasn’t just about whether Sam would accept me, or if he would be traumatised by what he’d seen.
Something was wrong. My instincts told me this wasn’t his OCD or anxiety.
This was something much worse.
My wings ripped from my back as I prayed Rami was one of the Seraphim who’d returned. Lifting Sam into my arms, I pulled him tight to my chest. “Don’t panic. I won’t drop you, and it’s much faster this way.”
There was no answer. My throat squeezed as I looked down to see Sam’s head lolling against my arm, his eyelids fluttering.
Fuck.
I didn’t waste another second.
Launching into the air, I shot for the back of the house. I landed so hard on the patio that cracks appeared, but I didn’t pause. Kicking the back door open, I carried Sam in. “Rami! Rami, please fucking be here!”
The big guy bustled into the kitchen, several others on his heels. “I’m here. What happened?”
“I don’t know,” I said. Micah swept the dining room table clear with a blast of power, motioning for me to lay Sam there. “He said he could hear a loud humming. Kept tugging at his ears. Said something felt wrong, then he went like this.”
‘This’ meaning barely conscious, all his limbs twitching. His eyelids were fluttering, whites showing between them.
Rami already had his hands on him, touching different parts of his body as his power sought out the problem.
“It’s not a panic attack, right?”
“I don’t think so.” I clutched Sam’s hand. It was so cold. So cold.
Despite my earlier annoyance, I sought out Benji among the others. “It’s not, right?”
“No.” Benji’s mouth was set in a grim line. “This is something else.”
There was no relief in the knowledge that I was right. A panic attack might make Sam feel like he was dying, but it didn’t hurt him. Not physically, anyway. Mentally and emotionally were another story entirely. “Rami, anything?”
“There’s something happening in his brain.” Light was pulsing where Rami had his hands on my mate’s temples. “But I can’t tell what. It’s like something is blocking Sam’s neural pathways. It’s shutting his body down, but I can’t stop it.”
A yawning chasm opened underneath me as the monster roared. No. This couldn’t be happening. “I’ll mark him. Then he’ll have my healing powers.”
Marking wasn’t the same as mating, but it might give Sam an edge. Sure, if he died, I would too, but that was fine.
I didn’t want to be alive if Sam wasn’t.
“No, don’t do that.” The voice was so unexpected that it stopped me in my tracks. My head wasn’t the only one to snap around. Stood in the doorway to the kitchen was Ferry, the former Grim Reaper who’d spent centuries transporting souls over the River Styx.
In any other situation, I might have questioned what the fuck he was doing here, but that wasn’t important right now. “Why not?”
“Because his brain is already fighting, adding a mark might have an adverse effect,” he said grimly. “Has he been compelled recently?”
“Yes, about thirty minutes ago.”
“And does he have a neurodivergent or neurological condition?”
Benji’s face paled as it clicked. His compulsion had done this. For some reason, whatever he’d done had caused Sam’s body to start shutting down.
I put that knowledge aside for another time. Right now, my focus was on saving my mate. “He has OCD.”
Ferry shucked his jacket. He’d been topside for months now, but it was still strange seeing him without his trademark hooded cloak. “Okay, I think I know what’s happening.”
“Can you stop it?”
He nodded. “Yes, but it’ll be painful.”
I swallowed as the monster growled. “For how long?”
“A few minutes, maybe more.” Ferry eyed me closely. “Can you handle that, Ezekiel? Because if you interrupt me before I’m finished, I might not be able to save him.”
I nodded, even as my unit drifted closer to me. “Yes.”
Rami made room for Ferry and he came to stand on my left. Micah casually stepped up on my right, while Benji positioned himself directly in front of me. Noah stood at one of Ferry’s shoulders, while Nox took the other.
I understood what they were doing, and I was grateful for it. None of us knew if this would tip me over the edge, but if it did, I wanted them to stop me.
I didn’t want anything to endanger Sam’s life.
It was for that very reason I suspected their caution was unnecessary, but I wasn’t taking any chances.
Not where my mate was concerned.
Ferry spread his hands wide on either side of Sam’s face. “I’m sorry, friend.”
Fire licked from his hands.
And Sam began to scream.
Grips of iron locked around my wrists while Benji threw up a shield between us and my mate. Manacles of fire closed around my ankles, holding me in place as Nox threw his talents into the mix.
None of it was necessary. The monster howled at the sound of our mate’s pain, but it didn’t rise. I’d never felt more in control of it.
That was the only part of me that was in control. I trembled from head to toe as I listened to my mate continue to scream. I had to keep blinking away tears just so I could keep him fixed in my sights. Every crack in his voice, every broken sob, cleaved another hole in my soul.
It’ll be over soon.
Then he’ll be okay.
If he wasn’t, I’d need every Seraphim in here to put me down, because if they didn’t, I’d let the monster take control. I’d gladly hand over the reins and sit back while the carnage was unleashed.
There’d be no coming back after that.
“He’s going to be okay,” Micah whispered. “Hold on, Ez. We’ve all got you.”
Sam’s whole body convulsed as he gave a particularly ear-splitting scream. All eyes turned to me, but I didn’t look to see if they were filled with pity, fear, or concern.
I only had eyes for Sam.
He gave one final scream, and his body slumped back onto the table. He blinked once. Twice. Stared in confusion at Ferry.
Ferry removed his hands, smiling down at my mate. “Hello, Sam. It’s lovely to meet you.”