33. Sam
33
Sam
T rust Zeke to think that was a simple question. “What if I want all the ways?”
I shivered as Zeke ran his hands under my shirt and slid them along my stomach. “Tell you what, give me your top three. I’ll do one now, one tonight, and another in the morning.”
My cock thickened. “That doesn’t make it easier.”
Zeke chuckled and dropped down, boxing me in with his forearms as he braced his weight on them. “How about I fuck you now, suck you off in the shower tonight, and then tomorrow morning we can sleepily frot before we’re even properly awake?”
“Sold,” I gasped as he nipped lightly at my collarbone. “I’ll need to shower after this though.”
“I’ll wash you,” Zeke promised, settling his groin over mine. “All over. Every inch.”
My groan was swallowed by Zeke’s mouth. His tongue caressed mine as the force of his kiss increased. It was like he was trying to devour me. Consume me.
Somehow, we ended up on the bed properly, our clothes scattered around us. I wasn’t sure how it had happened, given we barely parted lips for a second. All the emotions of the day were pouring from us, creating a blanket of desperate need. A need to have Zeke in me. To be connected to him in the most primal sense.
Cool fingers touched my hole, making my legs fall open. I clawed at Zeke’s back as he prepped me, whimpering at the delicious stretch. Revelling in the fact that soon, it wouldn’t be his fingers. It’d be his cock. Taking me. Owning me.
I couldn’t wait.
Zeke seemed to be of the same mind, working me open faster than before. He was careful to not hurt me, but his insatiable need was almost palpable.
His lips finally broke from mine, and my cock twitched at how swollen they were. His pupils were blown, his eyes almost black. I’d done that. Me.
“Ready for me, baby?”
I nodded, wrapping one leg around his back. “Ready. Please.”
Zeke’s mouth found mine again as his cock filled me. I whimpered into his mouth, throwing my other leg around his waist too. I clung to him as he started to move, slowly at first. Then faster. Faster.
It was good. Better than any sex I’d had before. But I wanted more. I wanted to be taken . I wanted Zeke fucking me, with no holds barred. “Zeke, use me. Pin me and fuck me.”
“Fuck yes,” he moaned, pulling out of me carefully. That was where his gentleness stopped. With a flick of his wrists, he flipped me over. Positioning my hips high, he didn’t give me any time to adjust before slamming back in. My scream was muffled by the mattress Zeke was pushing my face against.
Perfection. That was all I could think as Zeke rutted into me viciously. His hand was on the top of my back, holding me in place. I knew all it would take was one word, one fidget, and he’d release me.
But that wasn’t what I wanted. I wanted him to use me. To take what he needed. To give me what I needed.
My cock was bouncing against my stomach as he continued to ravish me. I forgot about everyone else in the house. Forgot about their superior hearing.
I forgot everything except feeling Zeke inside me. Cared about nothing as he made me whine, moan, beg, and scream.
“ Zeke. ”
“ Please don’t stop. ”
“ Never stop. ”
“ Yesyesyes. ”
I wasn’t the only one making noise. Zeke’s groans were nearly deafening, feral almost. “Fuck yes, baby. So good. You’re so good for me.”
“Harder,” I begged him, my fingers twisting in the sheets.
Zeke obliged with a growl, hammering into me so hard my teeth rattled. “Mine. You’re mine.”
“Yours,” I gasped, my eyes rolling back in my head as his cock caught my prostate. “All yours.”
He must’ve noted my reaction, and he shifted so he hit that spot again. Again. Again.
I let go with a wail, cum spurting all over the bed beneath me. On my stomach. Some landing on my arm.
In a few minutes, it’d be unbearable. Right now though, it was evidence of how much Zeke affected me.
How he’d made me come hands-free.
Zeke’s hips stuttered as he came. He collapsed over my back, holding his own weight just enough so he didn’t crush me. “Fucking hell, Sam. Are you okay?”
“Better than okay,” I wheezed. “Sex this good might encourage me to go to the gym to improve my cardio.”
Zeke chuckled against my neck. “You make me laugh. Now, how about I carry us to the shower so I can get you all cleaned up?”
If I hadn’t already fallen for him, that would’ve been the moment it happened. He’d given me exactly what I’d asked for, and was now accommodating my needs without making me feel weird about it. “I love that idea almost as much as I love you.”
T he rest of the day passed with more questions, sex, and unfortunately, work.
Unlike past boyfriends, Zeke didn’t seem to mind me having to pause to answer messages. Nor did he complain when, later that evening, I opened my laptop to make some graphics and schedule a newsletter.
He simply sat and kept me company.
I’d told him he didn’t need to stay with me, but he’d just flatly stared at me until I gave up. I think he knew I didn’t mean it.
Secretly, I was glad he knew. I didn’t want to be apart from him any more than he did me.
We didn’t leave the room, Rami once again bringing food to our door. My brain tried to make me feel bad, but the memory of what had happened in the gym was too fresh. The endless fury in Nate’s eyes. The ease with which he’d snapped Zeke’s neck.
I wasn’t ready to face him yet. Zeke had reassured me repeatedly that this was part of normal life here. That he’d not had time to feel any pain. That Nate hadn’t intended him any harm.
None of that stopped me replaying it. I wasn’t ready to let go of it yet.
There was one question I hadn’t asked. Zeke had brought the subject up a few times, giving me plenty of openings, yet I found myself holding it back.
How and when do we become mates?
Such simple words, but they hid the complex nature of the fears consuming me.
Would I live here permanently? Would the rest of his unit truly be okay with that? Would I feel safe and comfortable living here, given what had happened?
There was one fear bigger than all the others. One thing that had me terrified about bonding with Zeke.
What if he grows tired of me?
It was insulting to him, thinking that. He’d been nothing but considerate and caring since the first time we’d spoken, but it wasn’t as simple as that.
‘ It’s not an insult when it’s going to happen. ’
And that right there was why I couldn’t ask the question. Rationally, I knew Zeke was in it for the long haul.
That meant fuck all to my OCD.
Thanks to context clues, I knew we weren’t bonded yet. That, while we were fated mates, there was more that needed to be done to make it official.
Fated mates. Maybe Zeke being mine was compensation for the bullshit my brain made me put up with on a daily basis.
It refused to let me accept it fully though. That was what had me holding my tongue, all through the day. The rest of the evening. As I fell asleep on Zeke’s broad chest.
‘ If you don’t know the answer, you don’t need to make a decision. ’
Bit of a bitch when the compulsion was to do nothing at all. Made it easier to follow, which meant my OCD always won.
Fucking thing.
After the sleepy frotting session Zeke had promised, he’d washed me in the shower once again. He did so lazily, pausing to kiss me every now and then. He was acting like we had all the time in the world.
Which, if my brain didn’t fuck this up for us, I guessed we did.
Everything was okay until after breakfast the next day. That was when Zeke fixed me with a look I knew meant business. “Sure you don’t have any other questions?”
“Nope,” I lied, giving him a wide smile. “None.”
Zeke rolled his eyes. “See, if I didn’t know you were lying before, that smile would’ve given it away.”
I let it fade. “What’s wrong with my smile?”
“It’s your fake one. The one you plaster on when you’re uncomfortable but pretending you’re not.”
I groaned, letting my head fall back against the sofa. “Can’t believe you can already tell when I’m masking.”
Zeke’s brows furrowed. “What’s masking?”
“It’s something people with neurodivergent or some mental health conditions do,” I explained. “You put on a front so no one knows you’re struggling. It’s called masking because that’s what you’re doing—putting on a mask. It just happens to be the socially acceptable face that people expect from you.”
Zeke thumbed at my lip. “You don’t do that with me usually.”
It wasn’t a question, and it didn’t need to be. He knew the answer. “You make me feel comfortable enough to be myself.”
He hummed, grabbing the back of my neck and tugging until I was close enough for him to kiss. “I think that’s the highest compliment I’ve ever been paid.”
“Then I need to compliment you more often.”
“Why are you doing it now though?” Zeke kept his grip on my neck, but leaned back so he could search my eyes. “What’s got you worrying so much that you feel like you have to hide it from me?”
It wasn’t fair to keep this from him, not when he’d been so upfront about everything these past twenty-four hours. “I’m worried about becoming your mate.”
Hurt flickered in his eyes. “Do you not want to be my mate?”
“Of course I do.”
“Then what’s the issue?”
‘ Don’t say it. He probably hasn’t thought about losing interest in you. If you put the thought in his head, it’ll definitely happen. ’
“Don’t listen to your OCD, Sam.” Zeke said firmly. “Listen to me. Talk to me, baby. What are you worried about?”
‘ Don’t do it. Don’t say it. ’
“I’m afraid you’ll get bored of me,” I blurted out. “Or that you’ll start to resent me. You’re okay with everything I need now, but what if that changes? What if I get worse? What if how you love me changes over time?”
“Come here, Sam.” Zeke patted his leg. “I think we’ll both find this conversation easier if we’re holding each other.”
It should’ve been ridiculous, a man my size sitting on his lap, but it wasn’t. It helped that he was bigger than I was. As soon as his arms wrapped around me, my head against his neck, my racing heart began to slow.
“Okay, I’m going to try not to be insulted by what you said,” Zeke said quietly, “because I know it’s your OCD fuelling your fears and insecurities, but I’m never going to get tired of you. I will never ever resent you. If you get worse, that’s okay. I love you, Sam. For better or worse. I’m fully aware that you’re going to have good days and bad, and I want to be at your side for all of them.”
I blinked and a tear fell onto Zeke’s neck. He didn’t comment, just held me tightly as he systematically destroyed the wall my OCD had built.
“There’s only one thing you’re right about, and that’s how my love for you will change over time. I have no doubt that the more I learn about you, the further I’ll fall. I’m not worried about my love for you waning, Sam. I’m worried about how much it’ll grow.”
I sniffed, more tears falling. “Why would you worry about that?”
“Because I worry that my attention will consume you,” Zeke said hoarsely. “That my love will become too much for you. I’m not an easy man to love, Sam.”
I lifted my head. “And that’s where I have to disagree with you. You’re the easiest person to love in the whole world. The fact anyone has ever made you think otherwise makes me want to give them paper cuts on their nipples.”
Zeke’s lips twitched. “Oddly specific.”
“I’d do it, too. Don’t you see, Zeke? You think I’m wrong about myself, but you’re wrong about you too.”
He gave me a small grin. “Maybe we’re both being a little too self-critical?”
“I think so,” I sighed. “I just don’t ever want you to regret me, Zeke.”
“Never,” he vowed. “The only regret I’d ever have is watching you walk away from me.”
“Can’t see that happening. Who else would keep me supplied with Jelly Babies?”
“I’m going to need to buy the factory, aren’t I?”
“Probably for the best given the rate we get through them.”
We laughed, the tension lessening. When the sound faded, Zeke smiled at me indulgently. “Okay, so now we’ve cleared that up, what other questions do you have?”
Be brave. For Zeke. “How do we become mates? And when were you thinking we’d do it?”
“In terms of how, it’s very simple.” Zeke gave me a reassuring smile. “I give you my mark, which you wouldn’t feel. It’s an invisible supernatural claim, but not the full bond. For that to happen, you would need to say ‘I accept the bond.’”
“That’s it?”
“That’s it.”
“And you haven’t marked me already?”
“No.” Zeke sighed. “I want to, but Ferry has said it’d be safer to do not long before you accept the bond. He doesn’t think your brain will react poorly, but it’s better to not take too much time over it.”
“That makes sense.” I didn’t want to put Zeke, or myself, through any further unnecessary stress.
“As for when…well. I’d like to say we can take as long as you like, but…”
“But?”
Zeke grimaced. “I think it’s time I told you about Gloria.”