Chapter 7
Lyall
Spending three whole days pretending to be a dog was harder than I thought it would be, but it gave me the chance to be close to Soren at last.
It’s not without its challenges, of course. The pitiful burned pellets Soren calls “kibble” taste foul, for one thing. How do domesticated dogs tolerate eating it every day? Nothing will ever compare to meat fresh from the bone.
For another, I can’t speak a word to Soren. All I can do is listen as he pours his heart out to me. It aches deep inside that he can bare his soul to me in this form but shuts me out in my human form.
But now I understand why.
My mate has been hurt so many times before. It’s left him terrified to trust because none of the other men he was with appreciated his tender heart and fierce loyalty. I’ve got to prove to him that I’m not going anywhere and that I’d never hurt him.
I just need to know how. The Soren I knew wore his heart on his sleeve. He wasn’t afraid to make his feelings known. This Soren is far more wary. Mayhap Anders and Jamie can help me come up with ideas.
And then there’s the biggest obstacle to my plan.
Fergus, Soren’s so-called grandfather.
He’s a witch. The scent of his magic was a dead giveaway. With one look, he knew exactly what I was. I’ve done my best to keep my distance. Soren seems to have placated him so far since he hasn’t made a move against me.
That will change the moment we’re alone. I know it.
After Soren leaves for work, I perk up my ears and listen for any movement in the bedroom. Just as I anticipated, the mattress creaks. Footsteps thud on the floorboards. The door opens.
My fur peels back from my body, crawling back up my shoulders into the shape of a fur cloak.
I’m never naked after a shift as the fur grows over whatever I am wearing, but I can’t help feeling vulnerable as a newborn babe in nothing but my human skin and delicate clothes when Fergus enters the living room.
The wrinkles on his brow deepen as he glares at me.
“Wolf,” he says with all the pleasure of a man who’s just stepped in horse shit.
“Witch.” The word comes out as a growl. My jaw aches from how hard I’m clenching it. What has this man done to Soren?
“What do you want with my grandson, wolf?” Fergus’s eyes are as cold as glaciers as he looks me over from head to toe as if I’m a rotten scrap of meat.
My lip curls. “To remind him of everything you took from him.”
Fergus folds his arms. “You’ll do no such thing. Soren has built a life here. He has friends. A family. A job he loves. He belongs to this world now.”
“Only because he thinks he has no other choice!” My snarl fills the room. “You aren’t his real family!”
“And you are?” he counters, voice thick with fury. “Your pack cast him aside like trash.”
“You’ve lied to him! You used your magic to hide him from me for all these years!”
“To protect him!” he snaps. “When he came to this time, he was broken, wolf.”
My throat thickens. I know. I was there the day he was banished. I’d held him as he wept in my arms. That day he’d lost his family all over again.
“I took him in and helped him grow into the man he is now. Whatever happened to him, it devastated him. If he were to remember, it would break him all over again. He’s happy now, wolf. Let him have that.”
I blink hard down at the floor. The last thing I want to do is hurt Soren. Would remembering our history cause him pain? Would he feel torn between worlds? I have no way of knowing how he’ll react.
“Mayhap you’re correct, witch. But he deserves to have a choice.”
The witch is quiet for a moment, knuckles bone-white. My words ruffled him. Good.
“Even if I wanted to restore his memories, I can’t. They’re gone. He can never get them back.”
Even though I knew this to be true, his words are like an axe straight to my chest, knocking the wind from my lungs.
Fergus looks into my eyes when he asks, “If he never remembers you, can you still love him as he is now?”
My tongue is a deadweight in my mouth. I should say yes, but the word won’t come, because it wouldn’t be the truth. Soren and I come from different worlds now. He’s built a life here, Fergus is right, and it would be selfish to try to take him away from it.
Blinking hard, I force my head up to face the witch head-on. “Time has changed us, it’s true, but nothing will ever change the love I have for him. I know he feels the same.”
I hope he does. More than anything.
“He will remember, and he will love me again!”
“If you so much as try to make him remember, I will report you to the TTA!” Fergus shouts. The photos on the wall rattle. The lights flicker.
I fold my arms, smirking. “And if he remembers of his own accord?”
Fergus’s jaw tightens. “Then he will decide for himself what to do with that information. I would hope that he remembers who raised him and who abandoned him.”
My fingers curl, a snarl building in my throat. “We’ll see about that.” Turning on my heels, my fur cloak swishing against my back, I march from the apartment.
Fergus isn’t keeping me from my mate any longer.
We will be together, whether he likes it or not!
I headed to Jamie and Anders’s home, and all three of us came up with a plan. They’ll go to Soren’s bar like they normally do, and I’ll come with them. We leave the apartment together, and Jamie drives us to the bar. I hesitate outside the doors. “What will I say?”
Jamie huffs. “Look, let us go in first. We’ll chat with him while you decide what to do.”
I exhale, my heart pounding so hard I fear it will fly up my throat and out with my breath. “Aye.”
They head inside while I linger. What if Soren isn’t happy to see me?
How will I convince him to give me another chance?
I’ve got to. I can’t be without him again.
The pressure to get this right feels heavy enough to crush me.
What did Kieran call this feeling? Anxiety?
I take deep breaths in, exhaling out through my mouth.
It’s something he taught me to do. My heart slows with each exhale, and I open my eyes.
Nothing has to happen tonight. If I push too hard, he’ll run. I’ve just got to encourage him to give me another chance.
I lift my head, push my shoulders back, and march into the bar and toward my mate.
I place a hand on Jamie’s and Anders’s shoulders, squeezing lightly.
Soren turns toward us, drink in hand, and freezes.
His expression of shock is almost amusing enough to make me smile.
As our eyes meet, my heart leaps up into my throat.
“Hello, Soren,” I say, but before I can say anything more, the glass slips from his hand.
Soren jumps as if he’s been bitten in the ass by a goat, babbles something about making Jamie another drink, and races through a door.
Anders smirks. “That went well.”
Jamie smacks his shoulder. “Hey. Don’t be bitchy.”
With a groan, I drop into the empty seat beside them. “He hates me.”
“He does not! He’s scared, remember? He likes you, Lyall, so you’re already halfway there. Just convince him to give you another chance.”
“How?”
“Tell him what he needs to hear!”
The door behind the bar opens and Soren reappears, cradling a bottle under his arm. I try to make eye contact, but he’s got his head down.
Jamie clears his throat. “So. Lyall told us you two had a great day.” He elbows my ribs, making me grimace.
Soren laughs, but it’s forced and insincere as he pours various liquids into a metal cup. “That’s great. Always glad to help newcomers to the city.”
“It was an evening like no other,” I say to his back.
Soren makes a pleased sound through his teeth as he shakes the drink up and down.
“I’d love to do it again.”
“Here you go,” Soren says, setting the glass down in front of Jamie a little too hard, liquid sloshing onto the counter.
“Sorry!” He dabs the counter around Jamie’s glass with a rag.
“I’m off to take my dinner break but if you need anything, talk to my barback.
” Soren practically runs from the bar and out the door.
“Wow. He’s really skittish. You’ve got your work cut out for you,” Jamie says.
“Thanks,” I grumble as I leave my seat.
Outside, Soren sits on a bench, shoulders up to his ears. Everything he confided to me when I was a wolf echoes in my mind. Mayhap what he needs isn’t a lover, not yet at least, but a friend. We were always friends first.
“I’m sorry if I pushed you too hard. It wasn’t my intention to cause you any distress.”
Soren sighs, his shoulders drooping with the motion. “You were fine. I’m the one who should apologize for ditching you after how much fun we had. That was really shitty of me.”
“Apology accepted. May I sit?”
When Soren nods, I fill the empty space on the bench beside him, mindful enough to keep some space between our bodies. Soren opens his bag and pulls out two wrapped items, each roughly the same size.
“Are you hungry? I made sandwiches. You can have one if you want. It’s peanut butter and jelly.” His face flushes. “Kiddie food, I know, but it’s always been a comfort food of mine.”
“Aye, I’m famished.”
He laughs for some reason. “You and your words…”
The metal-stuff crinkles as I take the sandwich. Hmm. Do I just take a bite? Maybe this metal-stuff is for flavor? I open my mouth and—
“Uh, Lyall?” Soren gives me a strange look. “Aren’t you going to unwrap it first?”
Heat rushes to my cheeks. “O-oh! Right. Of course.” I carefully remove the wrapper, glancing at Soren to watch what he does so I don’t make any mistakes. How interesting. It’s two pieces of bread with something brown and red slathered between the slices. Humans are so creative.
I inhale long and deep, mouth watering as the sweet and salty aroma of the sandwich fills my nose. Beside me, Soren’s watching me like I’ve grown two heads. I must look strange. I take a small bite and—
“By the gods!”
Soren jumps at my exclamation.
“It’s sweet and”—I take another, bigger bite and moan—“salty and sticky and—”