Chapter 6
Soren
“How do you feel about dogs?”
I’m not sure I understand the question or why Jamie is asking.
I hand a customer their Guinness and say, “I mean, they’re pretty cool.
I’ve never had one, but I never pass up the opportunity to say hi to a friendly pup.
I saw the cutest golden retriever on my way to work. He had this big goofy smile and…”
And it had reminded me so much of Lyall, I’d had to walk away.
I hadn’t been able to outrun the sucker punch of guilt and the awful feeling I’d made a huge mistake.
Usually after I break up with someone or they dump me, there’s the initial hurt, but it’s mixed with relief.
As sad as it was to end things, I knew it was the right thing to do. They hadn’t been my person.
Could Lyall have been my person? Did I fuck things up for good?
“You good, Soren?”
I rearrange my face into a smile I hope is more sincere than I feel. “Yeah. Fine. Why’d you ask about dogs?”
“My friend is going out of town and he needs someone to pet sit his dog.”
“What kind of dog?”
“A Tamaskan.”
I’ve never heard of those before. Jamie pulls out his phone and shows me a picture. My jaw drops. “That’s a wolf.”
Jamie laughs. “Nope! Tamaskans are bred to look like wolves.”
Could have fooled me. The dog is beautiful. Huge, with pure white fur and beautiful eyes. I’d still probably piss myself if I saw it watching me from a shadowed corner of my bedroom, though. “Gorgeous dog. What’s their name?”
“I know, right? If Anders and I weren’t so busy, we’d love to have him over. His name’s Buddy.”
Imagine having a dog that looks like they walked off the set of Game of Thrones and giving it the most average name imaginable. What a missed opportunity.
“Is he friendly? House trained?”
“Yes and yes!”
That’s a relief. “I’ll need to check with my grandfather first, but I’ll let you know.” Having a dog around could be just the thing to lift my spirits.
Fergus seemed apprehensive, but when I told him the dog was trained and friendly, he was on board. So early the next morning, I go downstairs to meet Jamie. His car pulls up to the curb, and Jamie gets out to open the back door.
If I thought the dog was big in the picture, he’s even larger in person.
The white wolf-like dog jumps out of the car and shakes his thick pelt of fur.
His coat is so bright when the sun shines on it, it almost hurts to look at.
Stunning green eyes find mine, and his big, bushy tail starts to wag so hard his entire backside wiggles with it.
I kneel and beckon him over. “Here, Buddy. What a gorgeous boy you are!”
With a big gaping grin, the dog lopes over and covers my face in sloppy licks. Sputtering, I tilt my head back so he licks my neck instead. “Whoa! Friendly, aren’t you?” I sink my fingers into his dense coat and give him a good rubdown.
“He’s the best, isn’t he?” Jamie asks. “And between you and me, he’s a great free therapist!”
“Who could be depressed with you around?” I ask Buddy, stroking his soft ears.
“We’ll come and pick him up around the same time on Friday,” Jamie says. “Oh! And here.” He pops open the trunk and hauls out a huge bag of dog food I’m not excited to carry upstairs. He’s also got a big bag of other pet supplies, like toys, food dishes, and some treats.
“Does he need anything else?” I ask. Please say no…
“He should be all set! Call us if you run into any problems.”
I shoulder the large, very heavy bag of stuff. I’ll have to make two trips. No way am I carrying the food and—
To my amazement, Buddy grabs the food bag and carries it toward the front door. He paws at it and looks back at me expectantly.
“That solves that problem then.”
Once we’re upstairs, Fergus greets us at the door. The second he lays eyes on Buddy, he takes a step back, color draining from his face.
“Gramps? It’s okay. He’s very friendly.”
“Y-you’re sure that’s a dog?” Fergus asks.
“He is!”
Buddy whines, dropping the food bag. He backs away from the threshold, ears flat and eyes fixed on my grandfather.
What the hell is going on? I can’t tell which of them looks more unsettled. Crap. Maybe this won’t work out after all.
“I could rent a place and take Buddy with me,” I offer.
“No,” Fergus says, so sharply I jump. “I don’t want you alone with that thing.” I’ve never heard his voice so harsh before. “Fine, just see that it behaves.”
My shoulders loosen a little, but I can’t shake the feeling that something is wrong. “Go on,” I say, motioning Buddy inside.
The dog lifts a paw and places it over the threshold, almost as if he’s testing thin ice.
He hesitates, then darts inside, giving his pelt a shake.
Maybe this wasn’t such a good idea. Hopefully, once Fergus sees how friendly Buddy is, he’ll relax.
I make myself busy, setting up the food and water bowls in the kitchen and scattering some toys around the living room for Buddy to choose from.
I’m grateful I have the day off so I can supervise Buddy. Fergus keeps darting looks at the dog from where he’s sitting at the kitchen counter. He even flinches when Buddy goes past him. Buddy jumps at the sudden movement and scurries across the room.
Man, they’re so fucking weird around each other. “Hey, Buddy, wanna watch some TV?” I pat the sofa. Buddy doesn’t hesitate to jump up and join me, laying his big head in my lap with a contented huff. “What a sweet fella,” I say, glancing at Fergus and hoping he’ll notice Buddy’s cuddly nature.
Fergus wrinkles his nose in distaste. “If he sheds on the sofa, you’re cleaning it up.”
I raise both hands in surrender. “Fine.” As I continue season three of You, I keep sensing Fergus’s eyes on us.
Seriously, would he relax? It’s a dog, not an alligator.
Unable to focus, I pause the show and look over the back of the sofa at Fergus.
“Is this going to be a problem? You told me you were fine with boarding a dog.”
Fergus’s shoulders stiffen. “That was before I knew how big he was.”
“I showed you a picture of him.”
“Yes, well… I forgot.”
Damn it, what am I going to do? I’m technically doing this for Jamie’s friend, but I don’t want to disappoint Jamie by going back on my word and dumping the dog on him.
Jamie’s a nice guy, tips really well too, and I want to stay on friendly terms with him.
“Look, Gramps, the dog’s staying. I’m helping out a friend of my new regular.
Just give him a chance. He’s sweet.” Buddy nudges my hand with his big, cold nose, reminding me that I’d stopped petting him.
“Sorry, fella,” I say, resuming the strokes between his ears.
“I’ll try,” Fergus says. He places his empty mug in the dishwasher and heads to the bathroom. When the shower starts running, I relax back onto the sofa. Crisis averted. Maybe.
After finishing the remaining minute of the episode, I decide it’s time for something a bit more lighthearted. A comedy or a romance. I don’t usually watch or read romance, but there’s a sexy actor I like who is starring in a new rom-com. Maybe some eye candy will cheer me up.
I put on the movie, but instead of distracting myself, my mood worsens the more madly in love the couple becomes.
Did I make a mistake when I rejected Lyall?
If I called him right now and apologized, would he forgive me?
For what feels like the tenth time that day, I check my phone and find no new messages.
No surprise there. I rejected him. Of course he’s going to be a decent guy and respect my decision.
No, enough of this. I made my choice, and it was the right one. All my relationships have ended in disaster. This one wouldn’t have been any different.
But being with him felt so right…
Yeah, for now, I remind myself with a sigh. Relationships always feel great in the beginning until the rose-tinted glasses come off and leave me disappointed in them, or the other way around.
“Ugh, stop it,” I mutter, smacking my forehead. “You made the right choice. End of story.”
Buddy lifts his head from my lap and whines at me. I’m still petting him, so I don’t know what the problem is. “What?” I ask, looking down into his big green eyes. Buddy watches me with a tilt of his head. Maybe he can smell my bad mood.
“I’m fine,” I tell him, then snort at myself.
Am I seriously going to talk to a dog right now?
Better than venting to my granddad or my friends.
Lately my problems all boil down to the same thing, and I don’t want to annoy them.
Just because they’re supportive doesn’t mean I should take advantage of that. “Okay, I’m not. I feel like shit, Bud.”
I should feel stupid, but it feels good to get things off my chest. Animals are great listeners, and they don’t judge.
“Is there a girl dog you like? Or a boy dog. That’s fine too.
Can dogs be gay? Ugh. Never mind.” I scratch between his ears.
Buddy stares up at me, tongue lolling as he pants.
He’s probably waiting for me to say a word he knows like food or treat or ball.
But it looks like he’s listening. “Well, there’s this guy.
He’s really sweet. Super sexy. We had tons of fun together and I felt great around him.
But I’ve been burned by so many guys before.
Every time I think I’ve found my person, it never works out. ”
Buddy stops panting and tilts his head, whining low in his chest.
I run my fingers through his fur, sighing.
“I had a really good feeling about him, but I’ve been wrong before.
So many times. I don’t know how to trust my instincts anymore.
I want to call him, tell him I’m sorry. I’m too much of a damn coward.
Lyall’s never going to want to see me again anyway. I blew it for good.”
Buddy paws at me suddenly, making me jump.
“What?”
He whines and nudges my hand with his nose.
I rub his head and his tail swishes side to side.
“You’re a real sweetheart, you know that?”
Jamie was right. Buddy really is a great therapist.
By the end of the weekend, things are still off with Fergus and Buddy.
Fergus keeps watching us whenever we’re sitting together, and Buddy avoids Fergus like he’s a bag of garbage.
Don’t dogs like garbage? A bag of cats, maybe.
I feel a little uneasy when I leave them alone to go to work at the bar later that evening.
Buddy was snoozing on the sofa when I left, and Fergus was in his room reading.
Hopefully, they’ll stay away from each other.
About two hours into my shift, a pleasant Anders-and-Jamie-shaped distraction walks in through the doors and waves at me. I was bummed when Franklin texted to tell me he and Tom weren’t coming in this week since they were in California visiting family.
“Hey, guys. The usual?”
“Aww, you remember our orders?” Jamie asks, smiling as he takes a seat in Anders’s lap. Anders wraps an arm around his waist to steady the smaller man. Their casual intimacy makes jealousy twist in my gut.
“Of course. I’d be a pretty bad bartender if I didn’t.” I pour Anders his beer and gather the ingredients to make Jamie’s cocktail.
“Hey, how’s Buddy doing?”
I pour the ingredients into my shaker. “He’s great. Super sweet.” I leave out the fact that he and my granddad are engaged in a cold-war standoff.
“Isn’t he?” Jamie beams. “And a great listener, right?”
“He really is. I swear, it’s like he understands me.” I shake the drink until the shaker is ice cold, then pour it neatly into a glass. “Did your friend like the pics I took of—”
I almost choke on my tongue as Lyall comes up behind Jamie and Anders, putting a hand on each of their shoulders. Oh shit.
Those beautiful green eyes that haunted me all weekend find mine. “Hello, Soren.” Lyall’s voice is soft and uncertain.
“I, uh—” In my shock, the glass slips from my hand and bounces on the rubber mats.
It doesn’t break, but the drink spatters all over my shoes.
“I’m so sorry, Jamie! I’ll make you another!
” I reach for my Cointreau and curse when I realize the bottle only has a tiny amount left. “Fuck! Be right back!”
Wow, me. So chill, very professional. Could I have been more obviously freaked out? Face burning, I dart downstairs and find the liquor cabinet. My shaky hands drop the keys before I can stick them in the lock. I punch the cabinet, snarling as an ache throbs in the side of my fist.
Sucking in a harsh breath, I close my eyes and lean my forehead against the cool metal.
How can this man reduce me to a wreck with nothing but my name on his lips?
I’ve got to get it together.