Chapter 12
Soren
“We’re leaving?”
“For the day, aye,” Lyall says as he leads the way back to the boat. “Tomorrow we will return and you can see the rest of the memories. It’s best we pace ourselves.”
Secretly, I’m relieved. Seeing my family for the first time only to lose them took a lot out of me. I need time to think, and I want to speak to Fergus as soon as possible.
As we settle into the boat, Lyall lifts the oars. A frown twists his face. “My apologies, Soren. It was inconsiderate to allow that to be your first memory.”
“No, I’m glad I know the truth,” I insist. As painful as today was, I’d rather know the truth than continue believing the lies Fergus told me.
My parents hadn’t abandoned me. My mother had given her life to save mine, and so had my father. Because they’d loved me. Tears sting my eyes, and I focus on the churning waves around us. I hope Lyall will think it’s just the sea spray making me misty-eyed.
There’s a flash and my stomach flips over, and then the skyscrapers of the city materialize ahead of us. The world spins around me, and I close my eyes. “Don’t think I’ll get used to that.”
“You will.” Lyall sounds confident and calm. He’s clearly used to traveling from one time to another.
He moors the boat and we leave the piers together. “You’re not going back?” I ask.
He shakes his head. “I’ll stay at Anders’s home. What time would you like to meet again in the morn?”
“Same as today?”
“Will do.”
I look back at him, feeling like I should say something. “Thank you for showing me what really happened. It was rough but… I appreciate it. A lot.”
Lyall smiles. “You’re sure you’re well?”
I shrug. “I will be. See you, Lyall.”
Once I’m home, I shower and dress for bed. When I leave the bathroom, my heart skips at the sight of Fergus sitting at the table. He must have heard me come in. “Does your magic stuff tell you when I’m home?”
“I have wards around the home that alert me when the threshold’s been breached.”
I don’t know what any of that means. “You know, a Ring cam would work, too.”
He doesn’t react to my attempt at humor. “What did the wolf show you?”
I want to go and sit with him like we’ve always done but I’m not the same person I was.
The man I loved and trusted like a father lied to me, and I don’t know how to forgive that.
I settle for gripping the back of my chair instead.
Not sitting, but close enough to have a conversation with him.
“Why did you tell me my parents had abandoned me?”
Fergus lowers his gaze. “It was not my choice.”
“Then whose was it?” I’d like to find them and wring their damn necks.
“The Council decided upon your backstory. My job was to enforce it.”
“And the Council is?”
“The Travelers Council is a group of witches. They govern the laws of time travel and protect the secrets of the paranormal world.”
Even after everything I’ve seen today, it still feels weird as fuck to be talking about witches and time travel so casually. “Do they, what, have an office somewhere?”
“They do, actually. Several.”
There’s so much more I want to ask, but I need to stay focused. “So they made you lie to me about my past.” My hands curl around the back of my empty chair.
“Yes, and about your reason for being here in this time, that being your exile and life with the Erikson Pack. But the details of your childhood, your life before you were adopted into the pack, were unknown to us. It’s something I had wondered about myself from time to time.”
“Really?”
When he nods, the fist in my stomach unclenches. “Yes. So if you’d like to share what you learned, I would be interested in hearing it.”
I settle into my seat at the table. Where do I even start?
“I had two parents. My mom and dad. We lived in a little village by the sea. We owned a farm. Wolves attacked the village.” A lump rises in my throat, and I pause to clear it.
“Pa held them off long enough for Ma and me to escape. Ma hid me inside a tree trunk and led the wolves away from me.”
My parents are gone. I can’t remember them, but I wish I could. I wish I could talk to them, wish I’d been able to feel the love they had for me.
At least when I’d believed they’d abandoned me, I’d known it was possible to find them again.
But my parents are dead.
I’ll never get to meet them.
“Oh, Soren.”
As I gulp in a breath, tears wet my cheeks, and Fergus comes to me and cups the back of my neck.
I hide my face in his stomach and sob. I don’t know how long it lasts. He holds me through it, and though he doesn’t say a word, he rubs my back until there are no more tears left to cry.
“Sorry about that,” I croak, wiping my face dry. He leaves and returns with some tissues. I blow my nose and try to get myself back in semi-functional shape.
“Soren…” His voice is hesitant. “If you want me to, I can make the pain go away.”
“No.” I recoil from him, shaking my head emphatically. “I don’t want to forget. Not again.”
Fergus holds up his hands. “All right. I won’t. I promise.”
I lean back in my chair, eyes closing from exhaustion. “It hurts. A lot. But I’d rather know the truth than some lie the Council made you tell me.”
“I understand.” He squeezes my shoulder.
“He’s going to show me how we met tomorrow. Hopefully, that’ll be more cheerful.”
“Soren, you know he’s expecting you to remember.”
My jaw tightens. “And?”
“If you can’t, do you think he’ll still want anything from you?”
I don’t know how to answer. “I’m tired. Need to get some sleep.”
Once I’m alone in my room, I flop into bed and sigh as all the tension slowly leaves my body. On my dresser, my phone pings. Who would be texting this late? I sure hope it’s not my boss. I’m supposed to have off tomorrow.
It’s of a pigeon perched on the air conditioner outside his window.
My phone rings.
“Hey,” I answer, unable to wipe my grin off my face.
“What type of bird is this?” Lyall asks, sounding so confused it’s hard not to burst into laughter.
“It’s a pigeon. They’re, like, the bird of New York.”
“Ah. I liked that picture you sent.”
Heat crawls up my cheeks. “Yours was better.” It was funny and authentic.
“Are you all right?”
I sigh. “I’m… okay. Today was just a lot. Do things get better for us in the past?”
“Aye. They do.”
“I sense a ‘but.’”
“Our story… it doesn’t have a happy ending. But I am working on it, Soren. I’m going to give us both the happy ending we deserve.”
I sure hope traveling into the past gets easier. The boat didn’t overturn this time, but man, my stomach feels like it got flipped upside down.
Lyall grins at me. “Looking rather green there.”
I rub my roiling stomach. “Hey, cut me some slack. It’s only my second time.”
Laughing, Lyall guides me from the shore toward the woods. “You’ll be a natural soon.”
“Where are we?”
We’re on an island now, but it looks different from the one I grew up on. The trees are denser; the beach is longer.
“The island where I grew up.” Lyall motions toward a port farther down the beach. “Look there. That’s my father Erik’s ship. You’ll be stepping off with him in a moment.”
Interest piqued, I hurry after him toward the longship. Rugged men disembark, bringing cattle, boxes of goods, and even some people in chains, I note with unease. A big man who shares Lyall’s golden hair leaves the boat and at his side is my younger self.
With a hand on my shoulder, Lyall’s father says, “Here we are, boy. This will be your new home.”
Past Soren bites his bottom lip. “Are you going to make me a thrall, sir?”
Lyall’s father snorts. “You’re far too scrawny for labor. No, you will live in my house with me and my boys. They’re around your age.”
Past Soren’s eyes widen. “Are… are they wolves, too?” Fear creeps into his voice.
“Aye, I told you, my whole village are ulfhednar. But we are nothing like the cravens who attacked your village, I assure you. We never target humans or those weaker than ourselves. In fact, we do trade with many human settlements, and quite a few of them are aware of our gift. You are safe here. I promise.”
Past Soren frowns down at his feet, not looking convinced. I don’t blame the poor kid. I’d be scared too if I were going to go live in a village full of wolves, especially after they killed my family and destroyed my home. I hope things will work out for him.
I hurry after the ghosts of the past. From the beach, it’s a short walk to the village. We pass several farms before we arrive at the gates. Lyall sighs beside me, a wistful sound that aches. “It’s been too long since I’ve seen our old home.”
The streets bustle with villagers shopping at the market stalls, herding cattle, and going about their day. I jump when two wolves race right through me, bounding through the streets like overgrown puppies. My younger self gasps and hides behind Lyall’s father as they run past.
Erik chuckles. “Be brave, boy. They will not harm you.”
Past Soren’s eyes are wide as he darts anxious looks around the village, but when we arrive at the longhouse, his shoulders loosen. As Erik enters, a woman rushes up and hugs him. “You’re home!”
“Oof, Helga, easy!” Erik chuckles. “Soren, this is my sister, Helga.”
Helga’s smile falters, her eyes turning soft and sad. “Poor dear. Whatever happened to you?”
Past Soren hangs his head and doesn’t reply.
Erik takes Helga aside, and I move closer to catch what he says.
“The Blackbriar pack attacked his village. He is an orphan. Not a soul from the village survived.”
Helga clasps a hand to her mouth. “Oh, by the gods. Poor dear. Those wretched beasts…”
Erik nods grimly. “Where are the boys?”
“Anders and Gunnar are training in the yard. Wulfric and Lyall went to the market together but they should be back any moment.”
“Good. The boy needs some space before those rascals descend upon him.”
Helga smiles. “I know just the thing!” She approaches Past Soren with a big warm smile. “How would you like a bath and a spot of food?”
Past Soren twists his fingers together and nods. “Yes, ma’am.”