Chapter 12 #2
She laughs. “Call me Helga, dear.” She calls out to the thralls, “Take him to the springs. The poor dear needs a relaxing warm soak.”
The thralls lead Past Soren back outdoors. The air warms as we walk until we arrive at a large hot spring. The thralls leave my younger self with a soap stone and a towel, and the silence of the wilderness descends on us.
Past Soren undresses, then sinks into the bath. Out in the wilderness, he looks so small. He hangs his head, and his narrow shoulders start to shake. Great wrenching sobs tear from his body.
Tears prickle my eyes. I wish I could go to him and hug him and tell him everything will be okay, even if I’m not sure it will.
“Don’t be sad.” Lyall puts a hand on my shoulder.
“Is he… Am I going to be okay?”
Lyall smiles. “Just watch.”
Twigs snap. A white wolf prowls from the trees.
He’s not very big, not an adult or a pup, but I recognize him instantly.
The tension in my chest unwinds. My child self has nothing to fear, not from this wolf.
Terror bleaches Past Soren’s face as the wolf nears the edge of the water.
He freezes, screwing his eyes shut tight.
“D-don’t. Please. Stay back!” Past Soren whimpers.
The wolf halts, ears flattening. His tail droops as he whines. I don’t know how, but I know he’s apologizing. His body ripples as the shift pulls back.
“Are you scared of me?”
The wolf is gone. In his place is a boy as wild looking as the wolf. He’s got long messy blond hair, and his emerald eyes are a perfect match to Lyall’s.
“Where did it go?” Past Soren looks every which way, but there’s no trace of the wolf. Well, except for the white wolf furs around the boy’s shoulders.
“What?” Lyall looks around.
“The wolf!” Past Soren is clearly wondering how he could’ve missed it.
Understanding widens the boy’s eyes. He grins, sunny and bright.
“That was me! Oh, Father didn’t tell you?
Hang on…” The boy throws the furs over his head.
I give a start as his body ripples, shifting before my eyes into the white wolf.
Fear stiffens Past Soren’s spine as the wolf regards him.
Then a smile curls the wolf’s mouth, tongue lolling out.
With a pounce, he leaps into the hot spring, and my younger self’s cry of alarm becomes a laugh as water sprays all over his face.
A chuckle escapes me. It’s nice to hear my child self laugh after everything.
After splashing around together for a time, Past Soren gets dressed and collapses on the warm tundra. The wolf shakes off, making Past Soren sputter as drops of water fly at him. Lyall shifts back to his human form.
“How did you do that?” Past Soren asks.
Lyall tugs at his furs. “It’s a blessing from Fenrir. He grants us the gift of the change if we worship him and hunt in his name.” He leans in and sniffs curiously. “You’re human.”
“You’re not,” he states.
Lyall shakes his head with pride. “No. I’m ulfhednar. Sorry I scared you. Are you still afraid?”
“At first,” Past Soren admits. “But you’re not all that frightening.”
Lyall puffs out his chest. “I am so! Where’d you come from anyway?” he asks, circling around the boy and sniffing curiously. “Why do you smell like… like…”
When Lyall burrows his nose into the hair behind Past Soren’s ear and inhales long and deep, he squawks and shoves Lyall away. He growls, but it sounds more playful than scary. “Stop that.”
“Where’s your pack?”
“I don’t have a pack.” Tears glimmer in his eyes. “My mother and father… they’re…” Face reddening, he scrubs his eyes. “Wolves a-attacked my village. I don’t know where my father is. My mother left me and never came back.”
“Oh. I’m sorry.” For a moment, he’s quiet. Then he says, “My mother too. When I was little.”
“Sorry.”
Past Lyall sits beside my younger self, their shoulders touching.
“Sometimes ulfhednar hurt humans. Humans hurt us too. I wish we’d stop hurting each other and learn to all be friends.
” He grabs my past self’s shoulders suddenly.
A smile blooms on his face. It’s like staring into the sun itself. “I’ll be your pack.”
“Why?” Past Soren asks.
He shrugs. “Because. You’re nice. You smell good. My wolf likes you.”
I don’t know what any of that means. I don’t think my younger self does either.
“Don’t want a pack. But… maybe just a friend? If you want,” Past Soren adds, lowering his head.
My chest aches because I know what he’s thinking.
Maybe we’ll be friends at first. Then he’ll get tired of me and leave.
Suddenly, Lyall grabs Past Soren’s hands. He’s grinning so big and bright, like I just offered him the moon. “Yes! I’d love to be your friend!”
“Really?”
“Yes! Everyone wants to be friends with my baby brother, Wulfric, because he’s going to be Alpha someday.
Now I’ll have my own friend! But you have to promise to be my friend.
No one else’s. My wolf doesn’t like sharing.
” He scuffs his toe and averts his gaze, like he knows that’s not a good thing, but there’s a stubborn set to his jaw.
Past Soren smiles. “Okay. I’ll be your friend. I don’t need a lot of friends. Just one really good one.”
Lyall’s eyes light up, and he hauls Past Soren to his feet and tousles his hair. “Yes! I’ll be the best friend you could ever ask for. You’ll never be alone, not ever.”
Beside me, adult Lyall huffs a laugh.
“What’s your name?” Past Soren asks.
“Lyall. What about you?”
My younger self holds out his hand. “Soren.”
Lyall snatches his hand up and sniffs it, then licks his palm.
“Eww!” Past Soren snatches his hand back.
Lyall’s eyes widen, his cheeks flushing. “Sorry! It’s a wolf greeting. How do humans greet each other?”
“Oh. Just like this.” Past Soren holds out his hand and Lyall takes it.
“You’ll never be alone again, Soren. I promise.”
And somehow, I believe every word.
I think Past Soren does, too.