Chapter 29
CHAPTER TWENTY-NINE
ROWAN
I ’m vibrating as I hold back my pent-up violence. The rage that chokes me keeps me silently seething the entire elevator ride down to the first floor. Thankfully, Braum doesn’t attempt to speak to me. When the doors open, I immediately step out and stomp down the hallway, leaving him behind.
As I make my way toward my destination, my hand comes up and I scratch the back of my neck.
It moves to scratch at my arm next, then the middle of my chest. The prickling, hot irritation of my skin is not helping my mood.
All fucking day between classes and my mandatory therapy session, I’ve been scratching and can’t stop.
What’s worse is the whisper of insecurity Everly’s stirred up inside me has grown so I find myself second guessing everything I’ve said and done all day.
I’m off my game and don’t know how to fix this.
I’ve come up empty-handed when it comes to finding something that would endear Everly to me.
The reality that I’m about as shallow as a baby pool doesn’t sit well with me.
What is my worth without all the bells and whistles that come with my status?
Apparently, nothing. Which means I might seriously be unworthy of possessing such a fine specimen within The Collection.
How in the actual fuck have I been so blind to my reality?
How is it that I’m just now realizing how worthless I truly am to those that really matter?
Bitter resentment, aimed at myself, poisoned my mood for the majority of the day.
Once I nurse this particular wound, I’ll have to figure out how to remedy it. I’ll prove to myself, and to Everly, I can be more than just a pretty, rich asshole. How I'll do that though is going to be a challenge.
It’s a problem for later because, right now, I have another problem to deal with.
When I fling open the doors to the cafeteria, the meeting place for all patients in Barrington Regal House during a room sweep, I’m immediately hit with the loud hum of conversation. It appears everyone else is already here.
“Braum! Rowan! Over here!”
I glance around and catch sight of Bastian and Sheldon playing cards at a far table. Sitting around them are Jonathan and Conner, who watch on as a few of the girls hang all over them. Purdy is with them, and when our eyes meet, her lashes bat and a seductive smile stretches across her mouth.
Grimacing, I ignore all of them to turn to the two orderlies conversing just inside the room.
“I need to speak to Braum in private,” I tell them.
They look up to see who’s speaking, and immediately the annoyance on their faces is replaced with respect.
“Oh, Rowan!” the woman starts with surprise. “Um, well, you know we’re not supposed to let you guys leave the room during a room sweep?—”
I scowl. “Don’t make me repeat myself. Just make it happen.”
The guy straightens and says, “I can let you guys out the side door to talk outside, but you can’t leave the?—”
“I won’t. Like I said, we just need some privacy.”
He nods. “Follow me.”
I step back and allow him to leave the cafeteria before following. Braum’s just outside the doors. When he sees us, a frown pulls down the corners of his mouth.
“What’s going on?”
“You and I need to hash something out,” I snap, getting in his face. “Our court doesn’t have to be present for it, though. Now come on.”
I don’t think I’ve ever been this furious with Braum.
Then again, I don’t think he’s ever given me a reason to be pissed with him.
Sure, he’s a little spacy at times—only half listening to most conversations.
That’s expected, though, when you have someone who hears voices in their head—they’re always a bit preoccupied.
It may be irritating but nothing worth getting too mad about.
The orderly takes us down the hallway toward the emergency exit. For the entire walk, as short as it is, I force myself not to reach around to scratch my back.
It doesn’t actually itch, it’s all in your head , I snarl at myself.
The itch flares hotter, becoming more demanding, and I wince.
When we get to the end of the hallway, the orderly flashes his keycard to unlock the exit door, then he pushes it open for me. I step out into the darkness expecting the fresh air to help tamp down my fury.
It doesn’t.
“I can only give you guys at most five minutes, ok?” the orderly says. “Otherwise, I could get in a lot?—”
“Five minutes, got it,” I repeat coldly, whirling around to face him and Braum.
The orderly shoots Braum a worried look my best friend ignores as he stares off into the darkness. With a sigh, the staff member slips back inside and shuts the door behind him.
“Let’s make something absolutely fucking clear here,” I start, stepping up to Braum, pulling myself up to my full height.
He’s taller than me by an inch or so, but right now, he seems small as he tears his eyes away from the scenery to focus on me.
“Whatever happened upstairs never happens again. Ever .”
Rather than reply right away, Braum sucks in a deep breath and holds it. A second or two ticks by before he lets it out with a loud sigh.
“I fucked up,” he admits. “I didn’t mean for it to get out of hand.”
I reach up to give my chin a scratch before I force my hand back down.
“I know you have this obsession for the girl, but if you’re going to stake a claim, be better about it! We don’t want Everly fighting us every time we get close, thinking we’re going to hurt her?—”
“It wasn’t about staking a claim,” Braum objects weakly. His expression speaks of his misery. Something serious has happened and it’s really bothering him.
My anger stalls for a moment as I study him. “What the hell happened to you, Braum? Where have you been for the past two days?”
“Up here—” Braum taps his temple, “—it’s quiet.
For the first time in my entire life, it’s silent.
Do you know how unnerving that is? I’ve been freaking the fuck out, Rowan, now that I can’t hear the universe anymore.
And upstairs, just now, when I realized the universe occupied Everly, I spiraled hard.
It’s like something inside me snapped, and I accidentally hurt her.
I just wanted It back, Rowan. I didn’t mean for that shit to happen. ”
I shake my head, confused. “Wait a second. You don’t hear a voice inside your head anymore?”
Braum nods. “The universe is housed within Everly now. It told me, when I was inside her, It is where it needs to be so I can’t begrudge her or It. Still… not being able to hear anything but my own thoughts… it’s uncomfortable.”
For a second, I simply stare at my best friend.
In his dark eyes, I can see something I’ve never seen before: clarity .
His gaze doesn’t shift to something over my shoulder, he doesn’t subtly nod or shake his head as if answering a question, and he’s not speaking under his breath.
Braum is fully alert and aware right now.
“Well, shit,” I mutter as I scratch my neck absentmindedly. “This is… different.”
Braum nods. “Yeah, I’ll get used to it, I guess.
It’s not like the universe is completely gone.
I can hear It clearly when I’m inside her.
I can kind of hear It when I’m touching her but it’s more like…
like a whisper? And the colors on her skin give me a good indication of what It's feeling; I’ll just have to be better about reading them now.
Before I didn’t really pay them much mind. ”
Colors, whispers, voices… I don’t really understand any of this. What I am able to get is that Braum just had his whole life shaken up. His attacking Everly was the equivalent of me burning down my townhouse. I guess we all snap eventually.
“That really sucks. Sorry, man,” I mutter, not quite sure what to say as my anger retreats. “Anything I can do to help?”
Braum shakes his head. “No… but you can tell me why you’re itching so much. Your neck has red claw marks all over it. That’s going to be hard to cover up if you don’t stop.”
My hand drops away from my neck. I didn’t realize I was still scratching the same spot. Before I can share with Braum my self-actualization I’d stumbled upon earlier, the sound of a twig snapping in the trees nearby catches both our attention. I turn around quickly, my eyes scanning the darkness.
I find the source of the noise, and in seconds, my anger returns tenfold.
“What the fuck are you doing here, Vick?” I demand, my body tensing once more.
The asshole saunters over to us, a crooked smile splayed across his face. Behind him, his friend Nolan appears, and then another patient I’ve failed to learn the name of. The three of them stop a few feet away.
“Getting my girl out of your reach,” he replies coldly.
The laugh that slips past my lips lacks any mirth. “You’re mistaken; the court’s new queen belongs to us.”
“For now,” Vick shrugs. “But the sweep tonight was intentional.”
I freeze. “ You are behind this?”
Vick nods. “I needed to give Everly an opening to slip out, and this is it. She’s clever enough to realize this is her chance to escape while everyone is all huddled together in the cafeteria and the few nurses are busy searching everyone’s room.
Once she makes it out, I’ll be here waiting for her. ”
Anger causes my chest to tighten even as I grin at him.
“Where we put her, she can’t escape,” I assure him. “In fact, should something happen to us—” I glance pointedly at his friends who are creeping closer, “—she might just perish without anyone the wiser.”
Vick’s answering scowl is impressive. If looks could kill, I’d be dead on the spot.
“Damn it, Rowan! Let her go,” Vick growls. “She doesn’t belong here. Not with any of us.”
“I beg to differ,” Braum says, speaking up for the first time since Vick’s arrival. He steps up beside me and crosses his arms over his chest. “She’s exactly where she needs to be.”
I nod. “Besides, Everly doesn’t want to be with you. She ran from you when you chased her through the Labyrinth, remember? And when she made it out—in record time, mind you—rather than escape, she came running back into our open arms. Relieved to be there, in fact.”
Vick’s face contorts into anger. “You’re holding her hostage!”
“She made a deal—” Braum starts.
“I don’t give a fuck about whatever deal was struck between the three of you,” Vick declares. “She was coerced into it. That doesn’t make her willing, it makes her desperate.”
He takes a menacing step forward, his hands curling into fists. I stiffen. I really don’t want to fight—the chances of ruining my face get exponentially higher this way—but I will if that means making Vick bleed.
“How about this?” I offer. “You go in, and if you can find her, she’s yours.”
I step aside and gesture toward the side door. Vick freezes, his eyes jerking away from my face to land on the Barrington Regal House.
“Don’t do it,” Nolan warns from behind him. “It’s a trick; you know it, Vick.”
He does, but Vick doesn’t care. I can see him weighing his options. Could he make it in, get up to the third floor, into our suite, and be able to comb over every inch of it sight unseen?
“Neither Braum nor I will try to stop you,” I urge, gleefully. Without a keycard, there’s no going up to the third floor. And even if Vick managed to swipe mine or Braum’s, got upstairs and even into our suite, he’d never find her under the floorboards.
Vick’s impulsive, easily triggered, and most of all—stupid. If I can get him into the building and caught, I won’t have to worry about him for quite some time. The punishment for being in a building you’re not granted access to is solitary confinement for three days.
Before Vick can decide, the side door opens.
“Rowan, Braum! Come on, I got to get you back!” the orderly who let out us here says.
“Oops, looks like time's up,” I tell Vick with a grin.
Braum and I step back, safe now since we both know Vick won’t attack with staff around. To my surprise, Vick mimics the step, following us.
“ Please ,” he hisses between his teeth. “She’s not like us. Everly is… delicate.”
“Give her some credit, Vick, she’s stronger than you think. She didn’t break when I took that sweet virgin ass of hers,” I assure him. “And she stood tall after Braum broke her hymen a few minutes ago?—”
Vick moves so fast I don’t have time to brace myself. With arms outstretched and the promise of murder in his eyes, he lunges for me. At the last second, Nolan tackles his friend to the ground.
“He’s goading you! Stop !” Nolan shouts. “If you get caught fighting, you can’t help her!”
With a laugh, I turn and head back to the door. “See you around, Vick.”
Braum is silent as he follows. I don’t feel any smug satisfaction radiating off him, but I guess he’s dealing with his own shit right now. We can gloat later.
So I bask in the knowledge that Vick is out there in the dark, helpless and angry, while the girl he desires is locked safely away out of his reach.