Chapter 30
CHAPTER THIRTY
EVERLY
I t’s bad, but not awful.
The only reason I don’t end up hyperventilating is wholly due to the bright beam of light keeping me from being cast in complete darkness. Even before Rowan and Braum pushed the bed back over the trapdoor, no light made its way through the cracks of the wood floor and it had been pitch black.
I cling to the flashlight like a lifeline. For the first thirty minutes, that small, bright beam trembled and vibrated. But slowly, as I realized it wasn’t going to flicker out on me, I relaxed and the beam of light became steady.
Dust is thick in the air, and several times I’m thrown into a coughing attack.
After several hard bouts of that, I end up pulling the shirt over my nose and mouth to keep my airways clean.
To kill time, I attempt to do some snooping.
Unfortunately, there’s not much to look at.
The small space seems like it was built for a little additional storage.
How did Braum find this space? What had he been looking for when he came across it? Or was it just a coincidence?
I shove thoughts of Braum away. What transpired between us doesn’t need to be replayed. Not right now. Not in the dark. Maybe, when I’m far away from Serenity Falls and away from Braum, I can analyze what happened.
I’m not sure how much time passes before I hear the sound of a door opening and closing. Voices follow. They’re muffled, but I can tell by the different octaves there’s more than one person moving about the suite.
Quickly, I click off the flashlight.
The sudden darkness fills me with dread but not as much as the thought of getting caught does. I shove the flashlight into my pants pocket. The soft sound of paper crinkling gives me a moment’s pause. I let go of the flashlight and pluck the paper out.
Rather than unfold it, I simply tease the edges of it while listening to the footsteps and soft conversation taking place above me.
When the orderlies come to inspect Braum’s room, I squeeze my eyes shut and send up a small prayer I’m not found.
The note in my hand feels like a lifeline in the suffocating darkness.
The floor creaks and groans around me. I can hear the bed move slightly as they lift the mattress and check the bulky furniture. I wonder what they’re looking for.
Drugs? Potential weapons? Me?
I dismiss the last thought instantly. I’m sure there’d be a larger manhunt taking place if the staff knew there was someone on campus that didn’t belong here.
After what feels like an eternity, the orderlies leave Braum’s room, then a few minutes later leave the suite. With a soft sigh of relief, I reach back into my pocket and pull the flashlight out. My body sags as any lingering tension disappears when the bright beam flickers to life.
Curiously, I turn the beam onto the note in my hand and clumsily unfold it. The handwriting has a feminine quality but looks like it was written in a rush. It takes me a second to make out what’s there.
When the message becomes clear, I gasp loudly.
In Dr. Hubbert’s notes, he has written that your heavy reliance on The Universe is a hindrance to the Children of the White Stag. He has a lobotomy scheduled as treatment in two weeks.
Be careful .
The paper falls from my hand, landing on my stomach.
Oh no… My heart screeches to a stop. Only for it to break out into a full sprint a second later. Holy shit .
This is the second time I’ve run into something involving the Children of the White Stag. Who wrote this and gave it to Braum? My stomach rolls in protest as fear snakes through my veins.
Beware the Children of the White Stag . That was Peter’s warning. Looks like that’s easier said than done. At Serenity Falls, they seem to be everywhere.
What do I do now? Do I say something to Braum?
Give him back the note? Or do I keep it to myself and let him get blindsided by the procedure?
A loud mental objection ripples through me.
Braum might be broken and confused, a poetic asshole to be sure, but it’s not up to me to condemn a person to such a fate.
I’ll give him back the note.
What does this mean for me? It looks like Braum’s next mental breakdown isn’t the only thing I’ll be worried about now.
What is his involvement with the Children of the White Stag?
Why would they want him lobotomized? I didn’t even realize places like this still practiced that type of barbaric procedure.
A deep-seated exhaustion wells up in my chest. It’s heavy, full of bitterness and despair.
It strengthens, growing heavier and heavier until I can barely breathe.
My bottom lip trembles. How am I supposed to do what I set out to do with so much going against me?
I can’t. That much is obvious. I’m going to fail at saving Maverick.
If I’m not caught and forced to deal with Father, it’s only because I’ll end up dead after playing one of Rowan and Braum’s games.
Or because the Children of the White Stag will have sunk their claws into me.
Tears spill down my cheeks. There’s no fighting the heavy, endless exhaustion or the utter helplessness that surges up and overwhelms me.
What am I doing here? This whole mission has been a joke at my expense.
I thought I was capable of doing something grand.
Saving Maverick Sutherfield, the guy I’ve loved, was a dream I couldn’t not attempt to fulfill.
He needed me, and I, foolishly, thought I could be his savior.
In all actuality, I’m inconsequential, incapable of being anything more than a pathetic dreamer.
A soft sob slips out before I can catch it. Thankfully, the darkness around me devours it before the evidence of my defeat can get very far.
It’s late when I hear noises above again. I know it’s been hours since the guys left me down here. I should be angry, but I don’t have it in me. When the bed is moved and the trapdoor is opened, I simply heave a sigh and sit up.
A hand appears in my line of view. I take it and allow Rowan to lift me up.
“You okay?” he asks, his voice oddly rough.
The question is so absolutely ridiculous after the day I’ve had, I don’t bother to answer it.
“The orderlies found a few things in different rooms that patients aren’t allowed to have,” Rowan offers up as an explanation. “We had to sit through a two-hour lecture, then endure a lesson during a meal consisting of microwaved ramen on the rules.”
Apparently this meal is unacceptable to him judging by the disgust in his tone.
Braum hovers behind Rowan but steps up when I’m on my feet. Before I can react, he freezes.
“You’re upset,” he says incredulously. “Both of you.”
Both of…? Oh, he means me and The Universe.
Rowan shoots his friend a dark glare. “Braum, just leave it.”
“Here, why don’t you use my shower?” Braum offers quickly. “While you’re in there, I can get someone to bring up ice and some pain pills so?—”
I interrupt Braum by shoving the note into his chest.
“This fell out of your pocket earlier.” In a softer voice I add, “Beware the Children of the White Stag.”
It’s the only warning he’ll get from me and, really, it’s from Peter. He can thank my dead brother tonight in his prayers. Maybe they’ll reach hell.
Braum catches it before it flutters to the ground, but his eyes widen as they lock onto my face. A myriad of emotions flicker there like a flipbook, but I can’t get a read on any of them before he manages to rein in his reaction.
“What’s that?” Rowan asks, dragging me away from Braum.
“It’s a note from someone,” I reply without looking back as the two of us head out of Braum’s room. “It was hard to read in the dark, even with the flashlight.”
The rest of the night goes by in a blur.
After a shower, picking at a small dinner that was brought up and sitting patiently on Rowan’s bed as he applied fresh bandages over his branded initials, I’m utterly spent.
Braum didn’t bother to rejoin us the rest of the evening.
I’m not sure if he left the suite altogether or just stayed in his room.
Either way, I don’t care. I need the space.
By the time I finally curl up on my side and Rowan curls up behind me, I’m ready to escape into a realm of dreams.
“While we were with the others during the sweep, I made the announcement that you needed some new clothes. So tomorrow morning, clothes, donated by the women within our court, will be delivered. You’ll have a whole wardrobe to choose from,” Rowan whispers into my ear as we lay there in the dark.
He kisses the back of my ear. “Though I’m a bit partial to you wearing my clothes, so if you want to continue to wear them… ”
The offer hangs in the air between us. I don’t reply. Rowan must sense my despondency because he sighs and continues.
“I won’t keep you in the cage anymore,” he offers. “I’ll take you somewhere you can walk around but still be hidden from most people here. How’s that?”
I shrug. Does it matter where I am? In the cage, trapped in the suite, or elsewhere—at the end of the day, if I’m not outside the walls of Serenity Falls, I’m still a captive. I’m still a failure.
Rowan grumbles something about me being ungrateful, but he doesn’t push for more conversation, clearly giving up for the night. After a few minutes, his breathing evens out and he slips off into sleep. Somehow, after a few deep breaths of my own, I follow him into dreamland.