Chapter 33
CHAPTER THIRTY-THREE
brAUM
“ A nything you can find on this woman, bring it to me. Got it?” I slide the slip of paper with two names on it across the desk at the nurse’s station. “As soon as possible.”
Nurse Angela nods. “I’ll have something for you as soon as I can, Braum.”
With a hum and absentminded tap on the desk of the nurses’ station, I turn to leave.
“Oh, wait!” she calls out. When I look back at her, she smiles and holds up a small white cup. “Since you’re up, might as well take your pill. I think this is the first time I’ve seen you moving around this early. You even beat Rowan.”
I swipe the cup from her hand to appease her and even go through the motions of tossing the pill inside it back. The minute I round the corner, however, I spit the pill out into the trashcan. Fuck that shit.
The minute I step outside of Barrington Regal Hall, I’m drenched.
The rain is coming down in torrents, cold and at an angle.
I hardly notice, too busy swimming in my thoughts to care about the downpour or the rolling thunder in the distance.
This morning, I woke from my first dreamless sleep.
There were no colors, no visions, no voices in my head.
I was disoriented to find myself in Rowan’s bed, my face buried in the crook of Everly’s neck with our fingers still entwined.
I’ve never felt more rested.
Or more scared. With my head clear from the fog of fatigue, everything has come into sharp focus. Answers I had searched for last night had revealed themselves this morning with a bang.
Yesterday, while buried in Everly’s body and wrapped in her warm embrace, I heard The Universe’s secrets louder than ever before.
It was like her body was an echo chamber.
Each secret bounced around, blending into one another as more and more poured out until it sounded like a room full of voices, all indistinguishable from one another unless I really focused. It was both incredible and jarring.
This morning, as I lay in a bed that wasn’t my own, I replayed all I could remember until I focused on the one secret spoken the loudest, the one all others seemed to bleed into.
I heard what I couldn’t in all the time I possessed The Universe.
Everything I’ve been told about my purpose in life, my dream of following in my father’s footsteps, and everything I know about the organization my family has given its fidelity and life to was a sugar coated lie.
The time of the White Stag is null , It said . Take the girl and run.
A secret from The Universe has never come in clearer.
Even if there had been some ambiguity to the message, the warning from Everly solidified that my future is about to change dramatically.
“Beware the Children of the White Stag,” she whispered before giving me proof there was something to fear.
Anxiety prickles at the back of my neck, causing the hair to rise despite it being wet. Run? Leave my life behind? That’s easier said than done. My dad has been grooming me to take his position as the High Priest within the Children of the White Stag since I was born.
Which makes it all the weirder that he’s suddenly okay with severing the Milligans’ future with the organization by removing me from the equation.
Because at the end of the day, it may have been Dr. Hubbert that suggested the lobotomy, but the way this place is run, my father is very aware of what’s going on.
He would’ve had to give his approval before it was scheduled.
He’s turned on me, his own son, for the sheer crime of overly indulging in the gift we’ve both been granted. That fucking asshole.
Bitter resentment swells up and nearly chokes me.
He’s willing to destroy me and doesn’t even have the gall to tell me why. My dad is a calculating individual. There’s got to be something more going on that I don’t know about. That’s something I’ll dwell on later.
My footsteps are confident as I leave the sidewalk and head for the picnic table beneath the large tree in the middle of campus—the same one I’d been lying on the day Everly came into my life. Internally, however, I’m floundering.
Everything I’ve ever known is now in question.
I make it to there and climb onto the tabletop and plop down with a huff.
The leaves of the large tree overhead protect me from most of the rain, though by now I’m soaking wet.
The wetness doesn’t bother me. It’s the fact I hadn’t realized the precariousness of the situation I was in until now that does.
My heart shudders as fear wraps its chilly fingers around it.
The reality of my current situation is so heinous I can hardly stomach it.
If I don’t leave here soon, I’ll be reduced to a drooling idiot.
There’s no staying or trying to fight my fate here—it’s been decided.
Unfortunately, leaving won’t be easy. I can’t just walk out of here.
I have to be signed out. If my dad ok’d the lobotomy, I highly doubt he’ll be ok with me waltzing through the front doors to rejoin society.
I’ll have to sneak out of Serenity Falls.
While initially the thought is a bit daunting given the security put in place and the wall that keeps patients in and the rest of the world out, I know someone who has an escape all planned out.
The tension in my body eases as I think of Everly.
Familial duty and the need to please my dad has always been the driving force for all my decisions. Straying from the path I’ve devoted my life to might’ve been hard if I didn’t have someone else worth fighting to live for.
I knew Everly was special—The Universe told me as much and that’s why It brought her to Serenity Falls. I also knew at once that she was mine. The only thing I hadn’t comprehended before was how deep that possession ran through me.
Last night, I hadn’t been sure, but this morning I woke to the utter certainty that Everly Woodrow has ensnared my heart.
As new as this is, the love is undeniable.
The Universe brought me a partner I could respect and adore, while simultaneously sending someone who could help me escape a fate worse than death, providing a new path for me to follow.
Its warning about the White Stag has been delivered. I’ll do what It says because It has never once led me astray. Now is not the time to question It. The woman who now owns my heart and I will run away.
Everly will be pleased to know she won’t be staying here much longer.
I’m sure that’ll be a relief. Or… maybe it won’t?
I try hard not to, but my thoughts shift to how I treated her yesterday and my mood plummets.
How will I get her to trust me after how poorly I behaved?
I treated her like trash before she managed to help settle my nerves.
There’s no way in hell she’ll consider running off with me if she believes I could do that again.
I have to find a way to mend the bridge between us.
Absentmindedly, my gaze roams the campus and pauses on the Sortage Residence Hall.
My mood does another nosedive as I consider another reason why she wouldn’t leave. Without Vick, Everly won’t be going anywhere. Her determination to do whatever it takes for him is beautiful. It’s also irritating.
Pushing thoughts of Vick away, I attempt to simply bask in the silence.
Having grown up with the constant bombardment of secrets and tales, I didn’t realize how loud The Universe had been. The incessant stream of communication even followed me into my dreams—it was a comforting white noise that I thought I could tune in and out of whenever I wanted.
Turns out, I don’t think I tuned it out enough.
I close my eyes, lean my head back and pinch the bridge of my nose. I feel changed. The past two days were wretched. Mentally, emotionally, hell even physically. But today’s a new day. I’m different. I’ve evolved.
All because of Everly.
She talked me down from a ledge I stood precariously on.
Just past that ledge had been a sheer drop down into a churning chaotic darkness that was true insanity.
A hard shudder shakes my body as a tidal wave of emotions courses beneath my skin.
Everly saw me at my worst, and instead of running or fighting, she took a deep breath and accepted my flaws.
She gathered me in her arms and held me.
Heat works its way through my veins. It creeps into my cheeks and steals my breath.
Is this what love feels like? I don’t think I’ve ever felt something even close to this before.
But I like it. It’s both pleasant and strange.
This is what Everly’s done for me. She’s given me something no one else has before. It’s a priceless gift.
One I’ll fight to keep.
Using the silence, I sit there on the table and begin to unravel some of the other secrets The Universe had shared with me and Everly.
It takes time sifting through them and piecing them together.
It’s like a puzzle. Slowly, a bigger picture forms. I don’t realize it at first—a lot of the secrets are frivolous but others not so much.
They grow from a concept to a full image.
When I pull at the string of one secret in particular, tugging at it until I’ve separated it from the mass of others, it completes half the puzzle.
I freeze as I realize what I’ve uncovered.
My stomach drops.
Damn it! How could I not have seen this?
It should’ve been obvious! I have been letting The Universe cloud my judgment and take over my life.
I’ve only been half living, too busy being in my own head.
There I could get lost for hours just marveling at the knowledge flowing through me.
Now that I have the time to sit and process things, I’m beginning to realize just how lucky I am that I don’t have such direct access to The Universe.
Without It, I can see what needs to happen.
“Fuck me,” I mutter, furious at myself for not seeing this sooner.
I look back at Sortage Residence Hall. As crazy as it seems, I know what I have to do to earn Everly’s trust back and to get the hell out of here. I need to talk to Vick—he’s the key.
As if I can unconsciously sense her presence, my eyes shift—swinging across campus—and snag on Everly several yards away. She’s walking with Rowan toward Bowbrook Academic Hall. It’s almost time for Rowan’s first class so I’m not surprised to see them heading in that direction.
They’re too far away for me to hear what Rowan’s telling her and I’m too well hidden under the shade of the tree for them to notice me.
With an unfettered moment, I drink in the sight of Everly as she moves.
She nods as Rowan talks but otherwise keeps her eyes and head down as they stroll to the large building.
There’s a grace in her stride and calmness in her demeanor.
A smile splays at the edges of her mouth before it disappears.
The way Rowan’s face lights up at the sight of it, having been watching her just as hard as I am, gives me pause.
I study him a little harder. He’s chosen to wear a black shirt today with dark gray jeans.
Odd, given his disdain for dark colors. My eyes drink in the oversized black sweater Everly is wearing and gray leggings—clothes from one of the boxes of donations that had been outside our door this morning.
I catch on immediately. Always one for symmetry, this is Rowan’s attempt at trying to match her.
I’ve never seen him so smitten. I wonder what his reaction would be if I told him I was going to take her away from him. He’d probably laugh, thinking I was joking.
But my life isn’t a joke. The Universe has spoken and danger is just around the corner.
I am leaving Serenity Falls and Everly Woodrow is coming with me.