Chapter 2
2
AGE 12
“ D illon Thomas O’Donoghue! You are so dead!” My sister screams at me, pushing her long, wet strawberry-blonde hair off her face and trying to look mad. But her lips are twitching, and I know she’s trying not to laugh.
I walk into the cold Irish Sea in my T-shirt and shorts, heading towards her. “Look! I’m in my clothes too. You can’t get mad at me for throwing you in now.”
“You’re a dickhead.” Ash fake glares at me.
“Tell me something new,” I tease.
“Joke’s on you, sucker!” Ash yells, snorting laughter as she grabs my arm and pulls me down fully under the water.
We stay in the sea, swimming, splashing one another, and messing about as the few other people on Kilcoole Beach pack up their things and leave. “Come on. We better get home before Ma starts looking for us.” I hold out my hand, and my sister links her fingers in mine as we stumble out of the sea, shivering, with our clothes stuck to our skin. Grabbing the pink towel, I wrap it around Ash, rubbing my hands up and down her arms and across her back like Ma does.
“Fuck off fussing and dry yourself. I can hear your bones rattling.” Ash flings the blue and green towel at me.
“Ma will kick your arse if you keep cursing,” I remind her as I drag the towel through my messy brown hair before wrapping it around my shoulders.
“You curse as much as I do.” Ash pulls off her swim shoes and shoves her feet into her runners.
“I’m a boy.”
She digs her elbows into my ribs. “That’s sexist. What the fuck has that got to do with anything?”
“You heard Ma. It’s not ladylike. She can hardly say that to me now, can she?” Bending down, I grab my backpack and pull out my runners, switching my swim shoes for them before dumping both our swim shoes in the bag and grabbing my mobile phone. I got one for my tenth birthday. Now all of us have phones except for Ronan. He has another year and a bit to wait before it’s his turn. Ma only let us have phones for safety, and as I stare at all the missed calls and texts, I kinda wish I didn’t have one. “Fuck.” I sling the bag over my shoulder and sigh.
“What’s wrong?” Ash grabs the phone from my hand, reading the most recent text. “Shit. She’s going to kill us. I bet she’ll ground us.”
“We can sneak out if she does.” Snatching my phone back, I send Ma a quick text saying we’re on our way home. Not that it’ll cool her down. Da is the quiet one in our house, and Ma is the one who always loses the plot.
Ash slaps her hand to her forehead. “I totally forgot we were supposed to clean the chicken coop this afternoon.”
I’m not admitting I remembered and it’s why I suggested we sneak off to the beach after lunch. Putting my phone in my bag, I take my sister’s hand and start walking. “It’s summer holidays. We shouldn’t have so many stupid chores,” I grumble, kicking a stone as we leave the sandy part of the beach and walk across the stony stretch before we hit the side of the train tracks. “Jamie doesn’t have to do any chores.” I look left and right, checking to ensure no train is coming before I walk my sister across the wooden slats.
“Maybe he should. Their house is always dirty and smelly.” Ash’s nose wrinkles in disgust as we walk through the turnstile and out onto the road.
Even though it’s almost dinnertime, it’s still bright out as I push Ash in front of me, walking on the opposite side of the road. Ciarán said at least that way you can see the cars coming.
“It’s not that bad,” I lie, feeling the need to defend my friend.
“It so is.” Ash glances back at me. “His da gives me the creeps.”
“His da is a wanker.” Jamie had a black eye the last week of school ’cause he put himself between his parents when they were fighting. He lied to everyone and said he tripped over his school bag and fell face-first into the door handle, but he told me the truth. I said when we’re older and bigger we can give his dickhead da a few black eyes to get him back.
“We’re lucky,” Ash says quietly. “I know Ma loses the head sometimes, but it’s only ’cause we’re always getting into trouble, and we drive her mad. But she cares about us, and she loves Da. I’m glad they don’t fight like Jamie’s parents do.”
“Yeah.” I grip the strap of my bag. “Me too.” My best mate has it rough.
“Don’t blame Ash.” I fold my arms and stare at Ma as she flaps her arms around and shrieks at us. “It was all my idea. I made her do it. Don’t ground Ash. It’s not fair.”
“Shut up, clown.” My sister glares at me. “I can fight my own battles.” Her lips purse as she stares at Ma. “I was a willing partner in crime. I’ll take the same punishment as Dil.”
I roll my eyes. She always does this even though she promised me outside she’d let me take the fall. No sense in both of us being officially grounded.
Ro sits at the kitchen table, pretending to read one of his comics while watching out of the corner of his eye and listening to every word. Behind Ma, Shane smirks and flips me the bird. I can’t resist doing it back to him.
“Dillon!” Ma shouts. Her eyes look like they are bugging out of her head. “No cursing or obscene gestures will be tolerated in this house. You’re grounded for two weeks now.”
What the hell? Come on! She’s making a big deal out of nothing. It’s not like anything happened to us, and so what if my brothers had to do our chores? We’ll do theirs tomorrow, and then it’s all even. No need for any fucking grounding.
“No, I’m not!” I shout back. “I start secondary school in two weeks. I’m not being grounded for the last two weeks of my holidays!” I glare at her. She can’t do this! “So what if we missed cleaning the stupid chicken coop! Shane and Ciarán already did it! You’re just being mean for the sake of being mean.”
“Dillon.” Ma lowers her voice on purpose, and I can tell it’s an effort to do it. “This is more than you missing chores. I have told you both, countless times before, how unsafe it is walking back from the beach on your own, yet you keep sneaking down there when my back is turned. I don’t know how else to drive the point home. It’s not safe. Every time you sneak off there, you put your safety and your sister’s safety at risk.”
“I’m twelve, and Ash is thirteen. We’re old enough to walk to the fucking beach by ourselves.” I’m sick of being treated like a baby!
“Dillon! Language!” Ma snaps, rubbing the side of her forehead.
“Jamie’s ma lets him walk everywhere by himself!”
“I am not discussing what any other parent does. That’s up to them to decide. I am talking about you and your sister’s safety, and that’s nonnegotiable to me. You are still children, Dillon. Children under our protection and care.”
“I would never let anything happen to Ash.” My hands ball into fists. Ma knows I would die before I’d let anything happen to my sister. “I’d throw myself in front of a car if she was in danger. You don’t have to worry.”
The angry look on Ma’s face fades away. “You’re such a good brother, Dillon, but I don’t just worry about Ash. I worry about you too, and I don’t want anyone throwing themselves in front of cars, which is why you’re not allowed to walk to the beach without Shane, Ciarán, or me or your dad. Those are the rules, and you have broken them too many times this summer. I was too lenient before. But not this time.”
“I’m not being grounded the last two weeks of my summer holidays. I’ll stay home tomorrow. That’s enough grounding.”
Shane shakes his head, and I’m gonna knock that stupid grin off his face as soon as Ma is done with this stupid crap.
“It’s not up to you, Dillon. I’m the parent, and this is my decision. I’ll talk to your father on the phone tonight, and he’ll agree. You need to learn this lesson before it’s learned the hard way.”
Da is in Kerry with Uncle Eamonn fishing this week. We stayed with our grandparents last week but came back with Ma on the bus on Sunday.
“This is stupid.” I kick my backpack across the kitchen floor in a temper. “You’re not the boss of me. I’m not staying grounded for two weeks.”
“Dil,” Ash whispers. “Just agree, and we’ll work on her later or get Da to change her mind when he gets home.” Ash has Da wrapped around her little finger. He’s a big softie when it comes to his only daughter, so it’s possible she’ll work her magic on him. But he’s not due home for another three days, and I’ll go crazy if I have to stay at the farm all that time.
“No.” I shake my head. “I’m not doing it.”
Ma mutters something under her breath. “I’m your mother, and you will not give me cheek, boy.” She waves her finger in my face, and she looks angry again. “Keep this up, and I’ll ground you for a month!”
I don’t know why I say it, but she just makes me so mad sometimes. “No, you’re not!” I shout. “You’re not my real mother, and you don’t get to tell me what to do!”
Tears instantly fill her eyes, and I want to take the words back, but I can’t.
“Apologize, you little prick.” Shane storms up to me, grabbing my shoulders.
“Shane, don’t.” Ma pulls him away. “Go to your room, Dillon. You too, Ash.”
I stomp up the stairs to the bedroom I share with my little brother and slam the door closed. Throwing myself on my bed, I bury my face in my pillow and try to ignore the pain in my chest and the sobs building behind my eyes. I know I shouldn’t have said that. I hurt Ma, and I hate myself. I don’t know why I have these thoughts or why I keep saying horrible things. I hate feeling like this, being like this, but I can’t make it stop.