Chapter 39
THIRTY-NINE
I hover near the edge of the room, watching the dance floor and nursing my drink as I take in the smiles and laughter all around me. Everyone is happy and celebrating, just like they should be. Mike and Andrea deserve every last bit of this joy.
I take a sip of my drink and try to psych myself up to go join them.
But I just need a minute.
“Yo, yo, yo!” Mike’s voice breaks through the haze, and I turn to see him swaggering towards me with a wide grin. His suit jacket is gone, and his tie hangs loosely around his neck, already half undone even though it’s still early in the night. Dinner just finished.
I chuckle, shaking my head. “Being married has changed you.”
He scoffs with a roll of his eyes. “I always have, and always will, party hard.” Then he jerks his thumb towards Andrea, who’s doing shots with her bridesmaids in the corner. “Might be changing her, though. ”
I laugh as she lets out a whoop, gathers her wedding dress up in her hands, and heads towards the dance floor.
“That right there is why you’re perfect together,” I say.
“Yeah,” he nods as he proudly watches her drop it low. “That’s my girl.”
I chuckle again and take a drink, but my laughter fades as my eyes sweep over the room. I should be out there too, celebrating. Mike is my best friend, and this is his day. But as the night wears on, I can feel the energy draining out of me. It’s getting harder to hang on, and to keep that celebratory spark alive when my mind is somewhere else, with someone else.
“You hear from him today?” Mike asks, his voice gentler as he steps closer.
I just shake my head.
“Sorry, man.” He reaches out and gives my shoulder a squeeze.
“It’s alright.” My gaze drifts to the DJ booth, the flashing lights casting shadows across the room, and the speaker pumping out music. “This would have all been too much for him anyway. Hopefully I can see him tomorrow and we can do something quiet…”
Mike nods, watching me carefully. “That sounds good. I bet he’s missing you as much as you’re missing him.”
I let out a sigh, hoping that’s true. While I know deep down we’re going to be ok, we also feel fragile right now. Like he’s teetering on the edge, and he might say I’m too much for him and run away. But I don’t even want to think about that. I just need to hold onto hope that he’s going to stay on this path with me, so we can keep turning our scars into something beautiful.
“I’m going to step outside for a bit,” I say to Mike. I need to get some fresh air, so I can get my head back on straight and continue with my best man duties.
Mike’s eyes shift over my shoulder towards the front room that leads outside. He nods, and a small smile tugs at his lips. “Good plan.”
I set my drink down and turn to head for the exit… but stop dead in my tracks.
Arthur stands in the front room, wearing his headphones around his neck, with his eyes locked on me.
I walk towards him, taking in his dress pants and button-down, and slowly shake my head. “What…” I start, not even sure what to say.
His eyes are bright and wide as I stop before him, and they dart nervously between mine. “I’ve never changed my plans for anyone before.”
There’s a sense of urgency about him in the way he glances around the empty lobby, and his hands fidget in front of him, like he’s trying to work through a whirlwind of thoughts and feelings. I want to reach out to him and hold him, but I just wait and let him work through it.
“I’ve always done the same thing,” he continues as his gaze focuses on something in the distance over my shoulder. “The same routine, alone in my favourite places, where I’ve always felt safe and comfortable.”
Then his eyes meet mine, and there’s something in them I can’t quite place.
He releases a shaky breath. “I want to dip out.”
My heart clenches, and my body stills.
No. Please, no…
“With you,” he says softly.
And my panic suddenly halts as the corner of his lips tilt up, and his eyes soften.
“I want to dip out on my old life,” he continues. “The one before you… when I let hard things hold me back, and I hid from everything and everyone. I want to live in our world, with you, and be wild together.” Then he drops his hands to his sides, and stands up straighter as he releases a heavy breath. “I love you.”
I move immediately, closing the gap between us in an instant. My hands cup the sides of his face as I pull him into me, and I press my lips to his with a desperate need to be as close to him as I possibly can. Our kiss is deep, urgent, and it feels like we’re both breathing for the first time in days. The world around us fades away as my focus zeros in on the feeling of him in my arms, with no more doubt, uncertainty, or fear. The wild energy that’s always crackled between us flares like we’ve crossed an invisible threshold, and the wild in us is now fully set free, with nothing holding us back.
And when I pull back, and look into his eyes… I see his fire flickering back to life. The spark I was afraid we had lost, is now burning brighter than ever.
“I love you too, Firefox.”
His smile feels like coming home, and as his arms tighten around me, his fire seeps into every corner of my being. This is exactly where we both belong.
“You know I will always hold your hand through life,” I say, holding him against me as my lips hover over his. “Through everything, no matter how big or small. I help you because I want to. I love every part of you, Arthur. Everything that makes you you .”
His eyes glisten, and he nods. “I know,” he whispers.
I press my lips to his forehead, blinking back the wetness in my own eyes.
“Can you take time off this summer?” he asks softly.
I look into his eyes again, a bit confused by this seemingly random question. But… everything he says and does has a reason. “Yeah…”
“In August?” he asks .
A smile tugs at my lips as I realize what he’s asking, and I nod.
“Good.” He releases a breath, and closes his eyes for a moment, like he’s feeling immense relief. “Because I booked the trip to Labrador for two.”
My eyebrows lift, and my smile breaks free.
This man…
“I want to do hard things,” he says thoughtfully, letting his gaze drift somewhere distant. “I don’t want to miss out on good things while I hide away. I… I need you to come to Labrador with me, and help me.” He looks at me again. “I want to show my colours… as long as you’re with me.”
My thumb rubs over his cheek, and my heart swells with pride for him. “Always, Firefox.”
“And they’re paying for everything, for both of us,” he adds with wide eyes. “Like… a lot.”
I laugh, pulling him closer so I can kiss him again.
My emotions are overwhelming as I hold him, making it impossible to let him go. Because as much as he needs me to help him, I need him even more. He’s amazing, brave, kind, and beautiful in every way… and I feel so lucky to have him, and to be the one he’s chosen to share his life with. He’s everything I’ve been searching for—freedom, connection, belonging… It’s all right here, in his arms. He’s given me all of that and so much more, as he’s shown me a world filled with light, hope, and love.
My Firefox.
As our lips part, he hesitates, and a flicker of worry crosses his face. “And… I want to meet your parents again.”
I nod slowly. “Of course.” Then I glance over my shoulder towards the reception hall. “They’re… actually here…”
His eyes widen, and dart to the bustling room behind me.
But I just shake my head. “We don’t have to tonight,” I say quickly.
Arthur then steps back from me, but his eyes stay locked on mine… and his fire never dims. I just watch him, and wait.
Then, he takes a deep breath and holds out his hand between us. “You’ll need to hold my hand.”
I smile as I gently slide his headphones over his ears, then press a soft kiss to his nose. And as I take his hand in mine, I squeeze it, and hold on tight.
No matter what this world throws at us, and no matter what forces try to shift our path, we’ll face it together. This journey we’re on is beautiful, wild, and ours. Every current, every gust of wind, and every scar etched into the landscape of our lives only makes us stronger.
And as Arthur smiles back at me, I know he feels the same way I do.
We’re wild. We’re free. And nothing will ever take that away from us.