Chapter 57 Derrick
DERRICK
The three of us walk to dinner, making small talk as we go.
Most people are here, and the tables have filled up.
I can see the girls have kept a space for me, but when Sienna looks up and sees me with Charlie and Everly, she puts a wiggly Ryder on my chair making it look like there’s no room for me. I love that girl.
“Charlie,” Jackson calls out, indicating for us to come over. He’s sitting with Hudson and Parker, his brothers, while Finn and Isla are sitting with the group and their parents. There are enough seats for the three of us. Jackson’s eyes narrow as Charlie and I sit beside each other.
“Derrick, you seem to have more color in your cheeks,” Hudson teases.
“Because my heart started beating again.”
“Never seen you more terrified,” Parker jokes.
“I may look strong and tough, but deep down inside I’m a princess. That ziplining scared me. Honestly thought a dinosaur was going to come and eat me.” This has the table laughing.
“Charlie, it’s good to see you up here for dinner. How’s things? Jackson here says he’s trying to entice you to move to LA. Why the hell would you want to do that?” Hudson asks him.
“That’s what I said, when I have the mountains,” Charlie answers, then turns and looks at Everly. “But I’m considering it because Everly needs to start up her own business. Because she is fucking awesome.” Everly shakes her head at her brother’s compliment.
“What do you do again?” Parker asks.
“She wants to be an accountability coach. She saved me.” He stares at her, and you can see the gratitude he has for his little sister. It’s sweet, endearing, and kind of sexy. Everly reaches out and squeezes his hand.
“He did the hard work, not me. I was just there for support.”
I notice Parker’s eyes dip as he takes her in, but then I notice I am not the only one and see Charlie glare at Parker, making his brothers laugh. Thankfully, Everly doesn’t see any of this.
“I’m going to go grab something to eat,” Parker says, getting up from the table.
“Me too,” Everly adds, which has Jackson and Hudson laughing even more as a panicked Parker and Everly walk off with a glaring Charlie.
“Come on, they are cute together,” I say, nudging him.
“He’s too pretty,” Charlie grumbles.
“He’s a model,” Jackson adds.
“Exactly. He has a reputation.”
“Anyway, enough about them, how are you going? We missed you today,” Jackson says.
“Yeah, sorry. My leg was playing up and the thought of doing all those activities …” Charlie mumbles.
My brows pull together. I didn’t realize he was supposed to come today and that his leg hurt. Jackson doesn’t seem to share my concern.
“You seem to be walking okay now?” Jackson asks him.
“That’s because I rested it,” Charlie snaps back.
“Is that what you two call it?” Jackson smirks, looking between Charlie and me.
“Don’t involve me in whatever this is. Hudson, you want to grab some food?” I ask him.
“Sure,” he says, standing up and joining me at the buffet.
“Guess something’s brewing there.”
“Yeah. Jackson’s trying to get Charlie out of his shell. Since the accident, he’s hidden himself away. But it seems like he just needed the right motivation, which might be one Aussie stylist to help him break free,” Hudson suggests.
“Me? Doubtful, I don’t have those kinds of healing powers.” I grab a plate and shuffle in line.
“I think you’d be surprised. I’m assuming something is going on between the two of you, and not because you’re my two gay friends,” Hudson adds.
“Flirtation, yes, but Charlie is adamant that he just wants to be friends. He’s not ready for more,” I explain to him as I start heaping food onto my plate.
“What do you want?”
“I like him, but I’m not going to push someone into anything they are not ready for. I’ve learnt my lesson, there.”
“Because of the rockstar?” Hudson asks.
I still. “How did you know?”
“Um, I have eyes. He’s not as slick as he thinks he is.” Hudson chuckles. “I see he is still hovering around you.” Hudson’s eyes lift over my shoulder to where Chance is seated with his bandmates, looking over at me. I give him a small smile as I look back at the buffet.
“Yeah, he is. Stupidly, I kind of let that door open again, but it still hasn’t changed.”
“You’re a good guy, Derrick. The rockstar isn’t the one for you,” Hudson warns me.
“Charlie is a great guy, just in a bad place. Survivor’s guilt is real, and he is suffering in spades from it.
Jackson wars with that, as do I. I’ve been in situations where I’ve come out alive when others haven’t. It’s a tough beast to tame.”
Oh wow. I appreciate Hudson opening up to me.
“Am I living in fantasyland with him, too? I don’t want to push him if it will affect his healing journey,” I confess.
“Just being you, D, is enough,” Hudson says, giving me a wide smile.
“You make it sound so simple.” I grab a bread roll.
“Love is the greatest healer.” I burst out laughing. “Hey, I can be sentimental, too, sometimes.” Hudson smirks.
“Any lady loves out in the desert?” I ask, changing the subject.
“Plenty, but in my line of work it’s dangerous to develop attachments,” he explains.
“You could be at home photographing people where it’s safe.”
Hudson looks horrified at that suggestion. “Couldn’t imagine anything worse than dealing with celebrities and influencers.”
“They aren’t all that bad.” I chuckle.
There’s a knock on my villa door, and my heart starts to race.
I’m hoping it’s Charlie and he’s decided to sneak out and hang out with me.
He left earlier, deciding to walk Everly back home, but we did agree to catch up in the morning for a run.
I’m hoping that is code for beach BJ. Because this time I want to be the one giving him one.
My stomach sinks when I see it’s Chance, which then makes me feel bad because he’s done nothing wrong. Except deny you two are fucking.
“Have you been avoiding me?” Chance glares at me, seemingly upset.
“No. I’ve been busy with wedding stuff.” I don’t appreciate the tone he is giving me.
“So, you’re not hooking up with someone else then?
” he questions me. How do I answer that?
Other than a kiss and a BJ between Charlie and me, that’s as far as our hooking up has gone.
I was hoping for more tonight, but I also know he isn’t ready.
The man hasn’t been with anyone since the accident, and from what he’s told me, he had a reputation before the accident, and that’s knocked his confidence, which he should never feel unconfident, the man is hot.
He’s a walking boner to any gay man or straight woman.
He’s what a model agent would put forward if someone asked for a military photoshoot, he’s just that pretty.
“Derrick?” Chance says my name, pulling me back to the conversation I was currently having.
“Um, no, I’m not.”
Chance doesn’t look like he believes me, but I also don’t owe him anything. I’ve noticed him flirting with women since being here, especially the staff. He doesn’t have a leg to stand on if he’s jealous. “So, you’re not seeing that cripple?” He sneers.
I’m so taken aback by his words that it takes me a moment to process what he just said, and I launch myself at him, grabbing the edge of his tee and pushing him up against the wall of my villa.
“Who the hell do you think you are? Don’t you ever disrespect that man.
A man who nearly lost his life defending your nation, so you can sing your fucking songs.
” I’ve seen red. How dare he talk about Charlie like that.
I feel sick to my stomach, and I am so fucking thankful Charlie can’t hear these disgusting words coming from Chance’s mouth.
“So, you are fucking him?” Chance spits at me.
“I’m not. But so what if I am? It’s none of your business.
We aren’t together. I let you suck my dick every so often, but that’s all it is.
It’s all you will ever let it be. I am just a warm body for you to sink into.
You don’t want me. You’ve never wanted me.
And I am not sitting around and waiting for you to sort through whatever shit you are going through.
I’m a fucking catch. I want someone to love me for me.
Who isn’t ashamed of loving me. Who will hold my hand in public.
Who will kiss me in the sunshine, not only in the darkness. I deserve someone to love me fully.”
Chance’s eyes glisten with emotion. “You haven’t complained anytime I’ve dropped to my knees and sucked your dick.”
“You’re good at it, why would I say no?”
Chance pushes me away aggressively. “Fuck you.” He hisses at me. “I love you.”
I still. What did he say? He loves me.
“No, fuck you,” I say, stepping toward him. “You can’t say those words to me now because I’ve moved on.”
“I thought you said nothing was going on?” Chance bites back.
“There isn’t, but I sure as hell hope there will be because that man is making me feel things for him and I shouldn’t because …” I shake my head. “None of this has anything to do with you.”
“Derrick … please … I know I’ve fucked up, but I mean it when I say I love you,” Chance says softly.
“But I don’t.” Not meaning for that to sound harsher than it did, but right in that moment, I realized whatever had happened between us would never happen again. Chance and I could be friends, but it might take some time.
“Because of him? You don’t know him,” Chance argues. “Years. You and I have been together for years.”
“Exactly. Years I waited for you.” Chance looks shocked by my response. “Years you kept me in the shadows. Years I had to share you with others. Years of being your dirty little secret.”
“You know why,” Chance argues back.
“I do. But I can’t do this. I want more. I want a relationship where I can be with them without thinking. I want a family. I want happiness.”
Chance’s face screws up. “And you think that man is it for you?”