Chapter 24
Chapter Twenty-Four
Athena
I wait nervously at arrivals for Edel. It has been months since I have seen her and the minutes seem to slip by so slowly.
A crowd begins to walk through, and it doesn’t take me long to notice her.
A small backpack and suitcase dragging along behind her, excitement bubbles inside of me as her gaze catches mine.
She smiles. I smile. Her steps grow quicker, and I make my way towards her, my arms wrapping around her neck as I hold onto her with all I have.
“I’ve missed you,” I whisper into her hair.
Her body trembles with a laugh. “I’ve missed you too.” She smiles back at me as we pull away.
I take her suitcase and lead her to our waiting car. “Flight okay?” I ask, walking into the warm sunshine.
“Flight was good, managed to read the first chunk of your book that you sent me.”
My steps falter and I look at her.
“It’s really good.” She nods, eyes all glassy.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.” She beams. “When are you sending it to Maria?”
“I’m not sure, I feel like I am holding off. Kind of hit a bit of a wall with it.”
“Oh yeah?” She hums as our driver gets the door. “Oooh fancy.” She winks as she climbs in.
I give him a wide smile as he takes the suitcase then closes the door behind me.
“Why do you think you’ve hit a wall?” She turns her body to face me, her sunglasses slipping down her nose.
“I don’t know.” I huff and I can tell she knows I am bullshitting straight away.
“You do.” Her head tilts to the side, eyes narrowing on me. I keep mute. “It’s because things have stopped with Royce, he was your muse… and well, now the muse is silent…”
My cheeks flame red.
“Plus, there have been no spicy scenes… I like your little notes throughout, and I quote ‘add mind blowing sex scene.’ I mean… have you and him… you know.” She lowers her voice and my eyes widen as I look at her.
“No,” I hiss, folding my arms over my chest. “And it isn’t going to happen either.”
She scoffs. “I mean this in the nicest way, and I love you, obvs”—she rolls her eyes—“but you kind of need to do something with someone to help with your sex scenes.”
My shoulders lift and drop with my intake of breath. “Royce alluded that they were bad.” My stomach knots.
“Not bad.” She winces. “Just… I don’t know.”
“Lacking chemistry, vanilla…” I list a few things that Royce has mentioned.
“Yes, that, exactly.” She nods. “It kind of falls short and you’re such a beautiful writer, but yeah…”
“Okay.” I press a smile onto my face, willing for the conversation to be dropped.
“Don’t be mad.” Her puppy dog eyes kill me every time.
“Not mad, just a little frustrated that’s all. It’s been a bit of a day.”
“Well, look, I am here now, I’ll follow you around and be your cheerleader when you need it.”
I laugh softly. “I don’t think I’ll see the season out, to be honest. I’ll get the last chunk of the book done and book a flight home.”
Her face drops. “Really?”
“Yeah.” I nibble my bottom lip “I know Royce wants me to see out this fake relationship thing, but I don’t think I can do it.” I feel the deep ache inside my chest. I hate to admit that the feelings between fake and real have started to blur.
“That’s a shame,” she says, her lips turned down slightly, “but you’ve got to do what is right for you.”
I nod. My throat is burning and I can feel the tears that are resting on my lower lid.
“The problem, I think, is that without even realising, I have written this story of me and him. It’s flowing and it’s beautiful.
” I sniff. “And it just reminds me that I am falling for every version of him. Real and fictional. The words are blurring and I am struggling to work out the difference between the two worlds I am living in,” I say, swallowing down the lump.
She gives me a sad look.
“Don’t look at me like that,” I whisper because I am about to bawl.
“I’m sorry.” Her voice tightens. “Have you spoken to him about how you feel?”
I shake my head, locking my eyes in my lap.
“Then maybe you should,” she suggests.
I refuse to look up at her. “He doesn’t want anything; he has told me that. He wants us to pretend until he has finished racing. He wants a career; he doesn’t want a relationship or a life outside of racing.”
“That’s sad.” She gives a disapproving look.
“It is, but that’s on him,” I admit, swiping a stray tear away. “I’m not going to stick around to get hurt. I’ll continue until the first draft of my book is done, then, I’m going home.”
I wait for her to fight it, but she doesn’t. She reaches her hand across and gives my fingers a squeeze.
Pulling up to the apartment block, Nora meets us in the lobby, and Alexandre follows with Edel’s luggage.
“You must be Edel. It’s so lovely to meet you.” Nora kisses her on both her cheeks.
“And you must be Nora.” She smiles as they break away. “Thank you for taking such good care of my Athena.” She beams and Nora smiles back.
“She’s a babe.” I catch Nora’s wink and feel my cheeks turn pink. “But it’s Royce that has been taking care of her, more than me, anyway.”
I ignore the nausea that rolls in my stomach.
“Let’s go up to your apartment, shall we?” She pushes a smile onto her face and I follow.
“I need to get my bits from Royce’s,” I say quietly as we walk towards the lift.
“No problem, let me show you where your place is, then you and Edel can go and get your stuff.”
I don’t say anything.
“Royce is in briefing, then practice. He won’t be back until later this afternoon,” she reassures me.
“Okay.” Relief swarms me. I don’t know how I feel about standing in a room with him by myself at the moment. I don’t think I could trust myself.
“You all set for your signing at Rue’s?” Nora changes the conversation swiftly as we step into the lift.
“I think so. I mean, whether anyone turns up or not is another thing, but it’s a nice idea and I am eternally grateful.”
She gives a knowing nod. “Oh.” She clicks her fingers as if she has just remembered something. “I couldn’t get a garage pass for Edel.” A grimace look takes over her face. “I’ve no idea what happened, but they’re asking for them for this race.”
“No problem, we can go elsewhere.” I just about manage to squeeze the words out, my mouth dry.
He doesn’t want me there.
“Are you sure? I feel terrible.” She shakes her head in disappointment.
“Yeah, of course,” I say, but my voice goes all squeaky.
“You can go into the VIP box above the pits. It may be better to write there anyway.” She winks at me just as the doors open.
“Yeah,” I mumble behind her.
Edel’s eyes are pinned to me. I give her a shrug.
Nora unlocks the door and steps inside. It’s a nice size with two bedrooms, as well as a small lounge area and kitchen adjoined. It’s decorated in warm creams and blacks. Modern but cosy at the same time. Nora gives us a quick walk round before she disappears.
“This is nice,” Edel says, pushing her suitcase towards the bedroom.
“Yeah,” I admit, walking forward and looking out at the view.
“So, I’m assuming you’ve been uninvited to the race.”
“Seems that way,” I say nonchalant, my gaze still locked on the busy streets of Monaco.
“Screw him.” Her words catch me off guard and I scoff a laugh, letting my eyes gaze over my shoulder to my best friend. “Honestly, fuck him.”
I shake my head. “I can’t be bothered,” I admit, sighing. “I’m just going to continue as normal until I am done.”
“Good plan.” She beams at me, the quiet sound of her footsteps approaching. “Shall we go and get your clothes?” she asks.
I look down at myself. I am dressed in grey cotton sport shorts and a fitted white tee with my trainers. My hair is pulled into a messy ponytail.
“I suppose I better.” I sigh, tearing my eyes from the views below.
Linking my arm through Edel’s, we walk towards the door. I swipe the keys from the small side table before closing it behind us.
“Is this Royce’s apartment?” she asks as I let myself in.
“Not sure, I know the one next door is his dad and Ana?s’s. Not sure on this one.” I lift a shoulder up, then push the door open.
It’s immaculate. Everything is in its place. Walking through the door with a heavy sigh, I glance around the apartment that I shared with him. Silly really, it’s been a week and I feel like I have lost a part of me.
“This is real nice.” She whistles through her teeth, her eyes bouncing around the room.
“Yeah.” I clutch onto the keys a little tighter as I reluctantly move towards the bedroom.
As soon as my foot crosses the threshold, I can smell him. My chest caves and my throat burns. What was wrong with me? Edel isn’t far behind me, knocking into me so I have to step inside the room.
“You okay?” she asks me as she makes herself comfortable on the edge of the bed and I nod.
“Come on, let’s get packed. I’ve got work to do,” I push a smile onto my face as I move to the drawers and start folding my clothes up and placing them on the bed.
It doesn’t take us long and before I know it, we’re sitting in Caffé Milano eating lunch and catching up.
“When do I get the meet the infamous Royce?” Edel asks, her eyes skating to the marina overlooking the boats.
“Not sure, some point over the weekend, I am sure. I have to put on the show for certain things so…” I push my plate away and puff my cheeks out.
“Does Royce own a yacht?”
I shrug. “Don’t think so. His dad did. We were meant to go for dinner and onto a friends yacht the other night before he broke off our”—I lower my voice—“fake relationship…” I lick my lips. “Only to put it back on again.”
“Did anything happen to make him switch it up?”
“Nope, he was a little distant, but I thought we were good, you know?” I reach for my Aperol spritz and take a large mouthful. “Kind of like roommates, I suppose.”
“Right.” She looks at me suspiciously. “Did you sleep with him?”
My eyes widen and my nostrils flare as I sit forward. “No,” I whisper shout, covering my mouth.
“Okay, just asking, ‘cause you know… that’s when things could have started to get messy.”
My cheeks flame and I drop my eyes to my lap.