Chapter 9 #2
We held there a moment, just staring at each other.
Cash broke the silence between us with a quick kiss for both me and Daisy.
“Breakfast,” he said, then he was climbing out of bed.
He was only wearing a pair of jeans. I couldn’t help but ogle his ass and his broad back as he went to the dresser to find a T-shirt.
I heard Daisy’s breath hitch as the muscles of his back flexed when he put the shirt on.
I stifled a smile and then leaned in to kiss her cheek. “I know, right?”
Her cheeks went bright with color and she let out a little gasp, then gave me a light shove. She was laughing as she hurried from the room. Cash watched her go, then looked at me and gave me a wink before he left the room.
Smug bastard probably did the whole little show on purpose.
And fuck if I wasn’t happy about that.
“You know I didn’t mean to do it, right?” I murmured as Cash examined the wound on my arm. It had only taken two stitches to close it up, but the jagged scar that ran the length of my inner forearm was like a calling card.
Cash and I were lying in bed facing each other. It’d been a really good day, mostly because it had been so uneventful.
After a quick breakfast where the three of us had chatted about nothing at all, Daisy had gone to the den where we’d set her office up and gotten to work.
Cash and I had done some much-needed repairs around the house.
While Cash had been preparing dinner, I’d run to the grocery store – something Cash hadn’t exactly been happy about, since he was still worried I’d have another setback.
But I’d been feeling much lighter.
The fact that Cash and I had slipped back into our old roles hadn’t hurt.
And better yet, we’d done it around Daisy.
It hadn’t been anything dramatic or extreme. Just Cash making some household decisions like when we’d discussed whether we should replace the furnace in the house or just have the old one repaired. Like with most big decisions, I’d deferred to him and it had felt right, normal even.
I hadn’t been feeling stressed enough that he needed to actually give me any orders, a sure sign that my head was back where it needed to be.
For now.
“I was back in that room and—”
“I know,” Cash said gently as he lowered my arm and began running his finger up and down the scar.
“I know you aren’t looking to hurt yourself, Sage.
But the fact is that’s almost what happened last night.
If I hadn’t looked over at that exact moment…
” He shook his head. “I can’t fucking lose you, Sage,” he whispered, his voice breaking.
I closed my eyes because it hurt too much to look at him.
I wanted to tell him he wouldn’t, but he was right.
I’d been so far gone the night before that I would have cut my arm with no forethought whatsoever.
Between the knife, my strength, and the resolve my teenage self had been experiencing, I could have done some real damage.
“You want me to talk to someone,” I finally managed to get out. Was he tiring of how hard it was to deal with me?
I felt his warm palm slide to the back of my neck.
“Open your eyes,” he demanded firmly. The pain in my belly instantly receded at his command and I did what he said.
“I want this thing between us to be because you want it, not because you need it. I want to control you in bed because it turns us both on and gets us off, not because it quiets the voices in your head. I want to help you make decisions outside of our bed simply because you aren’t sure what to do and not because you’re afraid to make them.
But most of all, I want you to not hurt anymore.
I want whatever happened to you in that fucking house to live in the past where it belongs.
If I thought what we do together could someday give that to you, I’d happily do it for the rest of my life.
But I need to know that if I fail… if I step wrong even one time, I won’t lose you as a result. ”
I nodded in understanding because he was absolutely right. He’d become so adept at saving me that I hadn’t had to save myself. I was doing to him what his parents had done. Only, they hadn’t cared about what it had been doing to him.
I did.
“I’ll try,” I said. “Will you… will you help me find someone?”
He leaned in to kiss me. “Yes,” he whispered. “Anything. I love you so much, Sage.”
“I love you,” I murmured, then his mouth covered mine and he was rolling me onto my back.
I opened my legs so he could settle between them.
“Wait,” I said as I snagged his hair and forced him to look at me.
I could feel his hard dick pressing against mine and as badly as I wanted him inside of me, there was something else I needed.
“I don’t want to do it anymore – bringing strangers into our bed. I don’t want anyone else touching you. You’re mine.”
And Daisy’s.
But I didn’t say that, because as much as I wanted that, I had no clue if Daisy or Cash did too. I hoped, but I wasn’t sure.
I did know that I never wanted him to touch someone else like he touched me. It’d been something we’d both wanted and enjoyed while we’d explored the dynamics of our relationship, but things were different now.
I was different.
So was he.
Cash kissed me. “I’m yours,” he agreed. “There’s only one other person on this planet who gets to touch you like I do, do you understand me?”
The fact that he’d brought Daisy into the conversation was both a thrill and a relief. It wasn’t something we’d actually talked about. We’d danced around the idea of bringing her into our relationship, but we hadn’t actually said the words out loud.
“You’d be okay with that?” I asked. “With bringing Daisy into our bed, our lives?”
He settled more of his weight on me. “She fits, doesn’t she, Sage?” he asked. “It’s with her like it was with you… like I’ve known her my whole life.”
I nodded because that was exactly how it was. Despite how rocky the past week had been with her here, there’d still been this feeling that Daisy belonged here. I was eager to see what it would be like now that Cash and I could be ourselves around her.
And this morning, waking up with her in my arms and having Cash at my back… it was like he’d said.
She fit.
“But she needs to come to us,” Cash said softly.
“Agreed,” I responded. Cash sealed his mouth over mine.
My greedy hands stole over his back to explore his muscles and then they were pushing his sweats down to grab his ass.
I managed to free his cock from the confines of the material, but when I went to close my hand around him, he grabbed both my hands and gently pinned them to the bed.
Then he was grinding against me, his pre-cum dampening the material of my sleep pants.
“Need you,” I groaned as Cash’s mouth latched onto my neck. His teeth scraped over my skin, causing me to shudder.
“God, I can’t wait,” Cash whispered as he brought his mouth back to mine. “I can’t wait, Sage,” he said, sounding almost distressed.
And I knew why.
Normally he’d bring us both to the brink over and over. Or he’d at least make me hold out. We usually fucked rough and dirty.
But what he wanted, no, needed, was different. He wanted to make love to me. No games, no delayed gratification.
Just us.
But he was worried that I needed more.
“Make love to me, Cash,” I urged. It wasn’t often that I was the one to speak for the both of us, but it was just further proof of how often Cash gave rather than took.
He kissed me long and deep as one hand worked my pants down enough so he could grip my ass. He rolled us so I was lying on top of him. I managed to kick off my pants without taking my mouth off his. Every touch, every kiss was reverent and needy.
Like he was cherishing the contact between us.
Because he was.
I managed to snag the lube from the nightstand drawer. “I want to ride you, Cash,” I murmured against his mouth. “Let me show you how good you make me feel.”
He managed a nod but nothing else.
It wasn’t often that I stole his ability to speak.
His eyes were bright with lust and love and I felt my heart constrict painfully in my chest. It felt like we’d turned some invisible corner in our relationship and I couldn’t help but think that part of the reason we’d been able to do that was missing from this intimate moment.
I reached behind me to get Cash’s dick ready. I was fully prepared to get myself ready when Cash said, “Come up here.”
His hands on my hips urged me up his body. I gasped when he sucked my cock to the back of his throat. He tortured me briefly, then popped off and said, “Lube.” He held out his finger and I scrambled to put some lube on it. “Fuck my mouth, Sage. Show me how you want it.”
I moaned at his words and eased my cock into his lush mouth. Part of me wanted to pound into him, especially when his lubed finger began probing my entrance. But he’d wanted me to show him how I wanted him to fuck me.
So I kept my moves slow and deliberate. I rolled my hips as I fucked myself on his finger and I relished every pleasurable sensation that went through me. When my body was ready for his, I took him inside of me easily and I fucked his dick like I’d fucked his mouth.
Slow.
Languid.
Like we had all the time in the world.
He played with my body as I took us closer and closer to the edge. He lavished me with words of praise and love and I never took my eyes off his. His hand pumped my dick with the same fluid rhythm that I’d set.
“Fuck, Cash, love you,” I whispered.
He lurched up so that he was sitting upright.
His arm wrapped around me to support me as he began thrusting up into me.
We kissed as our bodies undulated against one another in a dance that was both familiar and new.
There was no frenzied rush as we neared the end.
Just us driving each other higher and higher with our bodies and our words.
I managed to hold out long enough to feel him come deep inside of me.
I held him against my chest as he clung to me, crying out my name and telling me how perfect I was.
Unlike so many of the other times we’d come together and he’d made me hold out, this time there was no command telling me to come.
Just a few softly spoken words in my ear as he held me gently in his grip and pumped my slick dick between his expert fingers until I exploded. I sobbed against him because so much more than just my body had found relief.
Because for once, the noise in my head was completely gone and all I heard were Cash’s words that were proof that something between us had shifted, but that we were still us.
Love you, my beautiful boy.