Chapter Fourteen
When Elaina stepped into the dining room it took Julian two whole seconds to jump to his feet and nod a bow. Even as he waved off the footman to help her in her seat himself, he was a bit baffled.
She’d come down to dinner.
After whatever he’d done that made her flee his company in the stable earlier, he expected her to be hidden away in her room all night. But here she was, with a smile even.
It might not be the smile that made his heart race, but for whatever reason she was attempting to be friendly.
“I’m so glad you decided to join me this evening,” he said.
He nodded that the food should be served and thanked the footman who presented his plate. While things were less formal here in the Highlands, his staff was able to show up any London home.
The food was always plentiful and tasty.
“I am impressed that your cook here at Dalkeith doesn’t grow bored when you are away and run off to another household,” she said after taking a bite.
He smiled.
“Mrs. Carn quite enjoys the quiet but doesn’t mind cooking on the rare occasions we come to stay. We being myself and my friends,” he explained. “We’ve even been known to host an occasional party.”
Julian loved parties and entertainments. Being with people meant more people to charm and prove his father wrong. It was rather embarrassing which is why he never planned to tell a soul.
She nodded and seemed to relax as she cut her meat into tiny pieces. The very picture of proper etiquette. This woman who ripped bread with her teeth during their luncheon and held meat in her shirt was so dainty at the dinner table. What an enigma she was.
“If you would prefer to have a less formal dinner, I would be happy to oblige.”
She cast a look at him.
“I am rather surprised to see you turned out for a meal in the country.”
“Ah. That is because of Ben. Had I not packed an appropriate dinner jacket I am certain Ben would weave an evening coat from horsehair and grass, such are his talents.”
Elaina laughed. A real laugh with a real smile that lit her warm brown eyes.
It was not a game, but if it were, he would be awarded another point.
He shared stories until their meals grew cold. Then they meandered to the drawing room and sat by the fire where she read to him until they were both overcome by yawning.
“I must say goodnight, before you are forced to carry me upstairs to my bed,” he said, earning a chuckle. “The wretch who runs this expedition beats me out of bed each morning before dawn.”
“The wretch wishes you pleasant dreams but reminds you that if you are not ready to go by first light, she will leave you behind.”
“Hopefully the wretch won’t snatch up all the bacon tomorrow.”
“Perhaps if you arrived earlier, you would have first crack at it.”
“Or maybe I will just hold her up by her ankles and shake out whatever she has stashed away.”
They laughed as they slowly made their way upstairs. They paused in the empty space between their rooms. Her closer to her room, he closer to his.
“Goodnight,” she whispered before turning and darting through her door. He hadn’t had a chance to say anything in return.
As he closed the door to his bedchamber, he wondered if he would have said anything or would have done something instead.
Something, like kiss her.
And damn if he wouldn’t be thinking about that all night.
*
When Julian enteredthe breakfast room the next morning with his bright smile, Elaina felt something akin to butterflies in her stomach and excitement in the vicinity of her chest.
How had this happened? How had she gone from irritated and angry at him to… well whatever she was now. She didn’t quite have a word for it. All she knew was it was unwanted and distracting.
She didn’t want to go back to hating him, she didn’t feel it was deserved and her quest for vengeance never became much of a plan in the first place. But this… attraction that had taken over was disturbing.
What was she going to do? She couldn’t act on this unfettered interest in him. She knew well how that would be received. She’d lived through that already and didn’t want to feel that type of rejection ever again.
She needed to find a place in the middle. A place that was safe from both extremes. For now, that place would be the far corner of the site away from the man who tempted her to distraction.
Elaina sifted through a pile of dirt while thinking over how she could get rid of Lord Melville. Not in a permanent way, though there was plenty of dirt and tools with which to dig a fitting grave if it came to that.
At one point, weeks ago, she may have briefly considered it. Briefly being about an hour, but surely not a minute more.
She’d been infuriated with him and might have thought things would be easier if he no longer walked the earth. She wasn’t proud of it, but it had been a thought.
Now, she didn’t want him to go to Egypt for an entirely different reason than she had before.
She had completely given in to his charms. Worse, she didn’t think they were charms as much as he was simply an inherently good person. She didn’t understand it. This version of him didn’t fit with the man she’d met years ago.
She spent most of the day as they worked thinking of how she might handle the situation. It was nearly time to pack up and return home.
“Ho there! I think I’ve found something,” he called and pointed to the dirt in front of him.
They had yet to find anything on this dig and she didn’t really expect to, so she assumed he had come across an interestingly shaped rock. But when she came closer, she could make out a handle. Like one would find on a pitcher or a jug.
“Very good,” she said excitedly. Her earlier quandary put aside for the moment, she kneeled in the dirt next to him.
She loved this part of excavation. It made the hours of combing through dirt worthwhile.
“You’ll want to use the small probe and the brush to loosen the dirt in small sections and brush it away until the entirety of the artifact is revealed and can be moved whole.”
“Don’t you want to do it?” He gestured to the piece of pottery sticking out of the earth.
She would have loved to take over and exhume the piece herself, but he’d found it and it was his right to see it through. He’d yet to have the chance and it wouldn’t be fair to take it from him. Enemy or not.
“You found it. You get to remove it from the earth.”
“But if I break it…”
“You won’t. Do it just like we talked about. I’ll help you.”
He stood and stepped away. Then came back. She realized he was pacing in a small circle, staying well away from the artifact and her. His fingers squeezed and released as he breathed as if he’d just run for an hour or so.
She didn’t know what was wrong with him, but he was clearly in distress. His breathing had become shallow and quick.
She cut off his next lap and gripped his wrist to make him stop.
“Julian?”
Hearing his given name made him look at her in surprise.
“Why don’t you want to unearth the piece yourself? What’s wrong?”
She could feel the tension coming off him and when she took his hand it seemed to soothe him.
“Tell me. What is the matter?”
He rubbed his forehead, leaving a smudge of dirt there. She reached up and wiped it away.
He blew out a breath and shook his head.
“I’m sorry. I’m being utterly ridiculous. I just think…” He looked up at the sky and everywhere but at her for a moment. “I just think it would be better if you did it so… So, I don’t ruin it. It’s too important for me to do something wrong. I do everything wrong and I will wreck this.” He said a bit more but had shifted to Gaelic. He repeated the words, gun luach under his breath as he paced again.
He came to her and held out his brush with a shaking hand, his blue eyes begging her to take it. As if it would release him from this intense pressure he’d placed on himself.
For a second or two she just stood there, trying to determine how she should proceed.
She was in a perfect position to take over and use this situation as a reason why he couldn’t accompany them to Egypt. After all, what good is another person to help look for treasure when the person couldn’t actually do the job?
But seeing the way his hand trembled as he held out the brush to her again, she only wanted to help him.
She couldn’t very well accuse him of being reckless, when he was worried into a panic over doing something incorrectly.
“I think you were right,” he said, his voice barely a whisper. “I have no business here.”
He was all but offering up his surrender on a silver platter and she… couldn’t accept it.
She shook her head.
“I was not right. I said you wouldn’t care, but you obviously care a great deal. And because you care, I know you will do a smashing good job of it. Come on. Let’s work at it together. Back in the pit you go.”
She gestured to the spot where the artifact waited for them.
She tugged on his hand and he took a step forward and another. Once they were crouched by the artifact, she moved the lantern so they could see better.
“You remember the books you read?”
He nodded.
“Tell me what you read,” she encouraged as she held out a small metal pick. He took it and let out a deep breath.
“I should use the probe to feel about and loosen the dirt. Then brush it away. Just a little at a time. And go very slow.”
“That is just it. You can do this.”
He nodded and cleared away a bit of the dirt. Over the next few minutes, he revealed more of the pottery and had taken over completely while she only watched and gave a bit of instruction and more encouragement.
He stopped a few times to take a breath before continuing and she felt him relax as he felt more comfortable with the procedure. His hands had steadied.
When all of the dirt was completely cleared away, she went to find a crate to secure the artifact.
“Before you put it inside, you’ll want to mark the crate so it can be identified. The name of the dig, and the grid location. Then, date it and add your name because you were the one who found it.”
As he documented the find on the wooden crate, he smiled and then when it was secured the smile grew wider.
“I did it,” he said more to himself than to her.
“You did,” she answered anyway. “Just like I knew you would.”
He laughed and she joined him. She had not thought he could do any of this when he’d first asked to join the expedition. She’d been wrong and didn’t mind one bit.
“I’m sorry for my…”
She shook her head. “You’re not the first person to be overcome by the gravity of unearthing something of value. It is a great responsibility.”
He nodded. “It is.”
She recalled the first artifact she’d been charged with uncovering. She’d been only thirteen and it had been a tattered scroll. It seemed to take forever and she worried the whole thing would blow away in the breeze, but eventually it was freed and she’d felt relieved and not a little triumphant.
Julian’s experience seemed to be more than just nerves.
Once the crate was packed in the wagon they rode home quietly. He seemed exhausted, but she didn’t say anything.
He dropped her off as he took the team back to the stable.
Inside she sought out the housekeeper.
“Mrs. MacGregor, might I bother you?”
“You’re no bother, miss. What can I do for you?”
“Do you speak Gaelic?”
The woman nodded, her lips pulled together as if expecting this to be a bad thing.
“I wonder, can you tell me what gun luach means?”
The woman’s eyes went wide and Lainey worried she’d said a curse. But the woman nodded and spoke.
“It means worthless.”
“Worthless?” Lainey repeated and frowned.
“Aye.”
Lainey thanked the woman and headed for the back of the house, heading off Julian as he came inside.
“You were not just nervous about the artifact, were you?” she asked when what she wanted to ask him was why he would ever think himself worthless.
He shrugged.
“I might as well tell you all of it. I can’t make a bigger fool of myself in front of you at this point.”
She waited as he blew out a breath.
“Often when I feel pressure to do something difficult, I remember the things my father used to say. How I bungled up everything I touched. How I couldn’t do anything right.”
“Worthless?”
His eyes went wide. “Ye know Gaelic?”
“No.” She shook her head and looked away.
“Ah. Mrs. MacGregor. Did she—”
“She told me nothing else. Forgive me for saying so, my lord, but your father was a right arse.”
He chuckled, which then turned into a laugh before evolving into full on hilarity.
When he managed to speak, he nodded.
“You have the right of it, Miss Bantham. I know he was indeed an arse. What I don’t know is why I still care. Why can’t I just let it go? He’s gone, has been for some time, but he haunts me still. I never feel like I’m good enough because of him.”
His head fell and his shoulders slumped. She’d never seen him look so defeated.
“I manage to hide this constant… worry, that I’m incompetent from everyone. But for whatever reason, I haven’t managed to hide it from you. You’ve known all along I couldn’t do this. I wish I had listened.”
He was embarrassed. She could tell by the way he wouldn’t meet her eyes. Anyone would be in that situation.
She was ashamed that she hesitated a few additional moments to ponder how she might use his plight as a mechanism for her revenge, but she knew she couldn’t do that. She was no longer angry at him.
It was time to be honest.