Chapter Twenty
Julian had counted down the days and hours until this night. Finally, Lainey would have her revenge and she wouldn’t have to lift a finger to get it. He was pretty pleased with himself for coming up with the most perfect plan. She would have no choice but to forgive him after this.
“Wish me luck, Ben,” Julian said as his valet and friend brushed out his evening coat.
“Luck, my lord?”
“Tonight is the night I will face Miss Bantham.”
“Ah. You plan to apologize for your behavior?”
Bentley helped him into his coat and picked up the brush again to remove more non-existent lint. The man was the epitome of thoroughness.
“No. Even better. I plan to offer her vengeance.” Julian smiled at his valet’s somber reflection in the mirror.
The older man stopped brushing to cast a frown in his direction.
“Forgive me, my lord, but this sounds like something that will cause more damage. You made a mistake. In fact, one would say it was a misunderstanding because you were far too foxed to laugh at the girl intentionally. Rather you were just laughing in general. But no need to explain all of that. Just tell her how deeply sorry you are.”
“Can’t.”
“Why not?” The man tapped the brush against his leg in what was clearly irritation.
“If I apologize, she might forgive me and it would be too easy. She never married. She left London after that night. I ruined her life, Ben. An apology is not enough.”
“Proper young ladies do not generally seek vengeance, my lord.”
“No. You’re correct.” He let out a breath. “Miss Bantham is not what the ton considers proper.”
If she were, perhaps he could marry her to fulfill his father’s wishes while also having a wife he could actually care for and enjoy spending his life with.
But whomever his father had tasked with approving Julian’s choice certainly wouldn’t give his blessing for a woman who wore men’s clothes and spent much of her time digging in the dirt for treasure.
While Julian was fascinated that she’d traveled to the Orient rather than attend finishing school and could care less if she had the skills to be a proper countess, he couldn’t jeopardize the mines and the people whose lives depended on them by marrying someone so unorthodox.
But he thought often of their kiss and the way it had heated his blood like no other’s had. He’d thought it was because he’d known it was her first kiss and he’d worked hard to make sure it was as pleasant as possible. But that didn’t explain why it had been so pleasant for him.
It surely wasn’t his first kiss. Far from it.
Perhaps that’s why he had the perspective to know that the kiss with Elaina had been truly remarkable.
Whatever it was didn’t matter for he wouldn’t be doing it again. Ever.
And even if he could offer for someone like her, she would never consider him.
He might have softened her with a kiss and charmed a few smiles from her, but that was far from wedded bliss. He had only barely earned the brief friendship she’d offered during their time in Scotland.
Besides, she would be leaving for Egypt soon enough and he… wouldn’t.
He would have to count the expedition to Scotland as his grand adventure. The only thing he would be exploring now would be his options for a wife.
His heart clenched at the thought of marrying some stiff, society, debutante who would meet his father’s requirement and leave Julian cold.
It didn’t matter what he wanted. Not tonight.
Tonight, was all about Elaina and making things right.
He was nervous on the way to the ball. There would be dancing, but not all of society returned in October for the session, so it wouldn’t be a crush. He was rather disappointed by that. It would have been better had there been a larger audience for what he had planned.
At the end of the night, Lord Darlington would make his announcement on who would be going with the team to Egypt. He knew he wouldn’t hear his name mentioned, but it was fine, for after he gave Elaina the chance to take her revenge, he planned to slink out of the house and go home to lick his wounds.
As planned, he was one of the first to arrive, but rather than go inside, he waited as the other carriages arrived.
When Lord Darlington stepped down from his carriage and reached in to assist his wife and then his niece, Julian launched into action.
He bowed before the group.
“Lord Darlington, Lady Darlington, you look lovely tonight.”
“Thank you, Lord Melville,” the woman said cautiously.
Had Elaina told her about their kiss? He knew Lainey was close to her aunt, but if she had, even a stolen kiss could be used to force a marriage.
“I wasn’t sure if we would see you this evening,” she added and he realized she must be unhappy he’d left her niece in Scotland without escort home.
Damn if he could do anything right when it came to Elaina. He planned to rectify the situation this evening.
Pressing on, he turned his gaze to Elaina and felt his stomach flutter excitedly. She was lovely in a moss green gown.
“Miss Bantham, would you allow me a moment?” He gestured toward the spot where he’d been waiting some feet away from the Darlingtons.
“Oh. Yes.” She turned to her aunt and uncle. “I’ll be along in a moment.”
“We shall wait for you just over there,” her aunt said sternly with her gaze sharply on Julian. “Don’t be long.”
Julian touched Elaina’s arm and led her away from the couple, not wanting to keep her from the entertainments inside. The cold look of the viscountess, as much as the chilly night air, prompted him to get to the heart of the matter rather than dither.
“I need to explain why I left Scotland without speaking to you.”
She winced, just slightly, but enough that he saw.
“I assure you, there is no need to discuss the matter. I understand.” She had yet to meet his eyes and her cheeks had bloomed pink.
“You don’t. You see, before we…” He glanced around before finishing quieter, “kissed. We were speaking of the reason you disliked me. You didn’t get the chance to finish, but I remembered what happened that night. I recalled being so foxed I couldn’t stop laughing and then Robert came up and called you a horrid name as a despicable joke and I laughed again. Or rather, I continued laughing. Of course, you couldn’t have known the true reason why. You only know that I laughed and that was… deplorable.”
“You were drunk?” She looked at him then, her eyes wide.
“Horribly so, but it’s no excuse.”
“It is some explanation. I’ve been drunk and can confirm the ease with which one finds everything unreasonably funny.”
He smiled. “I would quite enjoy seeing you drunk.” He imagined it briefly but moved on. “Anyway, I wanted to make amends. And I think I have found a way to make it up to you.”
“You do not need to—”
“But I do. I wronged you and I think my actions have impacted you far more than I’ve realized. You deserve atonement.”
“Atonement?”
“Yes. Tonight, when the dancing starts, I will come to ask for a dance, and you will give me the cut direct in front of everyone in attendance. I only wish it was the Season so there would be more people to see, but this was the best I could do. Try to be in the company of a group of people so they will witness my disgrace.”
“This is completely unnecessary.” She shook her head, her golden-fire hair was piled up on her head in a mess of curls. He wanted it down, filling his hands.
Shaking the thought away, he continued.
“It is what I deserve. Come now. Your aunt is glaring at me.”
He escorted her to the door where the Darlingtons waited.
He offered Elaina a wink before ducking inside to face judgement for his crimes.
Finally, he would be free from this guilt.
Or so he hoped.
*
Elaina felt asif she were made of wood as they entered the ballroom, and not just because she was cold from standing in the drive speaking with Julian. It had been a cool summer and autumn was taking the same path.
Was he mad? Julian wanted her to give him the cut direct in front of everyone. Leaving them to assume he had done something dishonorable. To be judged by everyone for something he did many years ago. Something he was too drunk to have done purposefully.
She hadn’t even considered the reason he was laughing could have had nothing to do with her. She had already forgiven him and now it seemed she might even owe him an apology for judging him without knowing his true intentions.
She smiled and greeted their hosts. The Aubrey’s were a lovely couple who supported their expeditions graciously.
Music was already playing and people were gathered around the small area that had been cleared for dancing.
Staying close to her aunt and uncle, she looked for an opportunity to pull Aunt Rose aside and ask her thoughts on how to proceed. But too many people wished to speak to them about their upcoming travels to Egypt.
Her uncle would be announcing where specifically they planned to dig on this journey. As well as the team that would accompany them.
True to his word, Lord Melville stepped up as soon as the dancing began. She was with her aunt and uncle and two other couples when he bowed and extended his hand.
“Miss Bantham, would you do me the honor of a dance?”
She paused and looked into his face, his kind blue eyes winced slightly as he waited for her to deliver her retribution and embarrass him in front of everyone. Even with only thirty or so people in attendance, the gossip would spread. Everyone would speculate as to what he had done to earn such a reaction.
Months ago, she would have been more than eager to claim her revenge and destroy him. But now she knew him better.
It didn’t take but a second for her to know what she wanted to do.
She placed her hand lightly in his and said, “I would be delighted, my lord.”
He blinked in surprise but didn’t miss a beat as he led her to the dance floor.
“What was that? You were supposed to give me the cut. This was your chance,” he whispered too loudly and called the attention of the couple next to them. Lainey smiled and waited until they had twirled away before speaking quieter than the earl.
“My chance to what? Shame you for something you did so long ago, while you were drunk? No. Besides, I am a wretched dancer, so you see, the steeper punishment is to take you up on your offer and subject you to dancing with me.” She laughed at her joke, but he only watched her.
“Being allowed to touch you can never be considered a punishment, Elaina.”
A shiver of excitement ran up her spine and she wanted so much to be able to find some quiet place to kiss him again.
“I forgive you, Julian.”
“You can’t. I haven’t even offered an apology. That’s not the way it’s done.”
“Do you think to tell me what I can and cannot do, my lord, because I should warn you, that would be foolish.”
He chuckled and shook his head.
“I have been tormented over this since I realized. Do you know how deeply sorry I am for hurting you as I did?”
“I think I do. I’m glad I know what really happened. To know that you didn’t laugh to be cruel. Letting go of this anger has been the best thing for me. I feel so light and free. I’m ready to live again without fear.”
“You deserve nothing less. You are amazing. Though a horrid dancer—you weren’t wrong about that.”
She smacked him lightly in the shoulder as he turned her and she stepped on his foot yet again, making him laugh.
“While we’re on the subject of my abominable behavior, I must also apologize for running off the way I did.”
“Why did you leave?”
“After I realized what I’d done, I thought the kindest thing I could do was get out of your sight so you wouldn’t have to so much as look at me.”
She tilted her head and considered him.
“I don’t think I mind looking at you.” She scrunched up her nose before adding, “Very much.”
She’d been too honest and attempted to cover it with a joke. Fortunately, the dance came to a close and he released her to return to her aunt and uncle.
Unlike a proper ball, there were only a few dances, so she wasn’t able to dance with Julian again. Or sit with him at the supper table.
She was surprised he hadn’t said anything about Egypt. She’d initially thought he would attempt to get in her good graces in order to ensure he was allowed to go, but he hadn’t mentioned it at all. Except to wish her pleasant travels when dinner was over.
When the time came to make the announcement, her uncle called out in his booming voice for everyone’s attention. The smaller groups gathered into one mass around him so thick that Lainey couldn’t even see her uncle.
But she could see Julian across the room where he leaned against a doorframe away from the fray.
She noticed the slight smile at his lips, most likely meant to disguise his disappointment.
He was not the man she’d thought him to be. He wasn’t a villain set out to ruin her life. He had been a silly, drunken boy who’d made a mistake and thought he should be punished for it, even now.
She wondered why he expected such judgement for something he’d barely been guilty of. Watching him now, with the veil of anger gone, she saw him.
She saw the pain he tried to hide in humor, and the belief he wasn’t worthy of forgiveness. No doubt this was more damage caused by his miserable father.
Bloody bastard, she ranted silently. She almost wished the bugger was still alive so she could tell him how awful he was.
Lainey wanted to go to Julian and tell him how amazing he was. How kind and intelligent and good. She wanted to do something to heal the pain she now saw.
“For our next expedition to Egypt we will set up our site in the royal necropolis of Dahshur at the Bent Pyramid.”
The group gasped appreciatively and clapped, though most had no concept of what the announcement even meant. If they recognized the name, they would have only seen the pyramid in drawings. They might not even know why it was called bent.
She didn’t judge them for it, and her uncle seemed to appreciate their approval, even if it held little merit.
“And we welcome the addition of Lord Melville to our team.” Again, the group clapped, but she was watching the shock on Julian’s face.
Once he suppressed his surprise, he turned to her with a tilt to his head, questioning her from across the room as to why she had allowed this.
Before he could take a step in her direction, he was mobbed by several men offering congratulations by way of clapping him heartily on the back and raising their glasses.
Rather than wait for him to have the chance to question her, she drifted away. Aunt Rose found her and asked if she was ready to go home.
She jumped at the opportunity to escape.
Julian would have questions and she wasn’t sure yet how she might answer.