Chapter Twenty-Eight
Elaina often found herself smiling for no reason.
Actually, there was a reason, and that reason was lying next to her asleep. Soon, she would need to slip from his bed to sneak through the darkness back to her own tent.
What it must feel like to wake up in his arms. To share that intimate moment of watching as he shifted from sleep to awareness. To earn his first smile of the day. But for the duration of their time together, they would be banished to a few sparse hours of the night.
But from the time she woke until she slipped from his bed, she was happy.
Their mornings were filled with happy greetings over breakfast before starting their task for the day. Julian had become more attentive since her fall, but she didn’t mind in the least.
Because he hardly left her side, she picked up on his irritation with Comte Girard Dumast when the Frenchman flirted with her. She almost thought he might be jealous, but certainly he knew there was no competition. After all, she and Julian stole kisses at every possible opportunity.
They shared their mid-day meal as well as steamy glances with one another over dinner. As soon as everyone settled in their tents for bed, Elaina counted down the minutes until silence fell over the camp and she could join Julian in his tent.
He was always waiting as if he couldn’t stand another second without having his body pressed up against hers. He kissed her frantically until their clothes were removed and they could touch skin to skin. They both groaned softly when they first joined and she thought she would never forget that feeling as long as she lived.
He stirred next to her and that familiar smile brought a rush of happiness as always.
“I am glad you are still here,” he whispered.
“And I am so glad I agreed to let you come on this expedition. To think how lonely my nights would be,” she said while his fingers trailed up her spine causing a pleasant shiver.
“I daresay, your nights wouldn’t have been very lonely if you’d not wished it.” He kissed the inside of her wrist, but she saw the flicker of unhappiness in his beautiful blue eyes.
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“Comte Dumast.” He made the name sound like a curse.
“Girard?” She laughed. “No.”
His low growl made her laugh again.
“The way you use his Christian name makes me want to bury him in the sand.”
“I can’t very well say ‘Comte de Dumast’ as we work together. It is quite a mouthful.”
“Hmph,” he offered a surly, Scottish sound.
“Regardless of whatever I call him, I have no interest in having him in my bed. Though I will admit it is interesting to see you ruffled by the thought. Honestly, I’ve never thought of him as more than a friend of Uncle Henry’s until I witnessed your reaction.”
“You should be careful of men like him.”
“Because he might seduce me as you have done?” She fluttered her eyes at Julian until he broke out of his sour mood and smiled. But he turned serious again.
“You don’t understand. I know what we have now must end when this expedition is over, and I want nothing more than for you to find happiness in your life after we part. But I can’t bring myself to manufacture that happiness when I think of you with him.”
“For now, we only have to think of me with you.”
He nuzzled his lips against her neck just under her jaw in that place that made her heart race.
*
The first weekin March, everything shifted. As was common when the team moved from digging to crating and labeling the artifacts for transport. They wouldn’t search for anything else on this trip.
They would make their trek across the desert and set sail for their voyage back to England before the season started. Lainey had never hated the process more than she did this time.
For when they returned to Egypt on their next expedition, Julian would not be with them. He would be married to his proper countess, and Lainey would be…
As she had been before. A spinster archaeologist with no prospects.
But she would be forever changed. She now knew a man’s heated touch. The exquisite pressure of his claiming. The desire in his gaze, and the passion in those quiet moments after sex when promises were made.
Too soon, they were boarding the ship to return to London.
It wasn’t just the pieces of pottery in cargo that were shattered, but her heart as well.
*
“Our final sunset.We will reach England tomorrow,” Lainey said as they stood on the ship watching as the orange sun dipped into the sea.
“I don’t want this to end.” He responded as he had every night for weeks. But this would be the last time he would have the opportunity to say it.
“Neither do I.”
“I don’t want to marry some giggling debutante or stuffy miss.” He rested his forehead against hers. I want to marry you.
“You are going about it the wrong way. You see it as something you’re being forced to do by the man who terrorized you all of your youth.”
“Yes. That is exactly what it is.”
“But you need to see it as an opportunity to find someone to share your life with.”
He stepped back to look at her.
“Do you think I will find someone who will enjoy sharing tales of her travels around the world?”
“Well, probably not, as most women do not travel very far at all. Especially not proper young ladies.”
“And I’m to find someone who will accept my attacks of self-doubt and talk me through them rather than swoon and break into hysterics?”
“That would only make it worse, I’m sure.”
“As am I.” The truth was he would never find anyone like her. She was quite clearly her own person. One of a kind. “I wish…”
He wanted to say so many things after those two words.
He wished he’d had a better father, that this wasn’t his last adventure.
But most of all, he wished Elaina would pass his father’s ridiculous requirements for a proper countess so he could spend the rest of his life making her smile.
“I do too,” she said sadly, resting her hand over his on the rail. “I wish I was… suitable.”
He didn’t think he’d ever been angrier. And not with his father this time, but with himself. For somehow, he’d neglected to convince this woman he loved that she was perfect. To see her doubt herself… No. He wouldn’t have it.
“You are perfect, Elaina. You may not have been trained to be a countess from the day you left the womb, but you are better for it. You aren’t a simpering debutante who only wishes for a title, but someone who knows what life has to offer. Someone who follows her own path. I admire you. I…” I love you.
But he couldn’t say that. Not anymore. To do so would just make this so much more difficult. She knew the truth. But they could no longer speak the words. Their time was over. They were forced to move on.
He didn’t say anything because at that moment, the sun disappeared over the horizon.
“I guess that is the end.”
He shook his head. “No. We still have tonight.”
She nodded and offered a smile.
“Any suggestions on how we might make it one to remember?”
“I’m certainly going to do my best.”
*
Their nights togetherin Egypt had been filled with urgency. After spending the days with him, Lainey was always so eager to touch him. It seemed he was just as impatient to remove her clothes. But tonight was unlike those other times. In fact, it felt almost the opposite.
After months of hurrying, they now wished to savor each touch. Each kiss.
It felt like many nights had passed before she was laid out next to him, her clothes tossed with his on the floor in his quarters.
She watched as his gaze searched her face and she knew he was trying to memorize everything about this moment just as she was. Their time was running out.
But they had this moment.
They kissed as if they had all their lives to do so. But other desires became insistent. She began making needy noises and their soft touches became desperate.
“Elaina,” he said her name as a question. Always the gentleman making sure she wanted this but never doubting her answer.
“Yes.”
When he slid inside her body he whispered in Gaelic, words she guessed were curses or promises.
“For as long as I live, I’ll never experience anything as wonderful as the feeling when we join together. It is as if I’ve come home,” he said as his body moved inside her.
Her hips rose with every thrust, meeting him, welcoming him. She was amazed at how perfectly they fit together. How right it felt to be with him in this way.
And then he reached between them to touch that place he alone commanded. He knew exactly how to touch her to make her world fracture and collapse in complete bliss.
The pressure built and broke, as echoes of delight surged through her body and into his.
“You are perfection,” he said as he thrust into her as deeply as possible before pulling away completely as he gasped his release.
As much as she wanted to hold him closer at that critical moment, she understood the strength it took for him to protect her in that way. She was grateful if not also bereft from missing out on the connection.
He lay next to her, his heart pounding as quickly as her own.
When their breathing slowed, he shifted so he was looking down at her, his fingers stroking her skin softly. These moments afterward were a quiet pleasure.
“What are you thinking?” she asked, unable to help herself when he remained quiet.
His fingertips trailed lightly over her face, down her throat, and across her sensitive nipples. She thought he might not answer. When he did, his voice was rough.
“How much I hate my father.”
She knew how she felt about the man who had injured Julian in the worst way without ever placing a hand on him. She hadn’t ever met the man, but she despised him for the damage he’d caused.
Still, she didn’t know why Julian was thinking of his father in that moment after they’d just shared themselves on a level beyond the physical. Perhaps these thoughts never left him.
“I have never hated him more than I do at this moment.”
“Why?” she had to ask.
He blinked and focused on her.
“When I was young and I displeased him, he would punish me by taking away something I enjoyed. A book or a toy I showed favor to. It didn’t take me long to figure out how to manipulate him into thinking I liked one thing more than life itself while hiding away the thing I truly cared for.”
“You are so clever.” She smiled and brushed his hair back from his forehead.
“I thought so.” He offered a small smile that was gone too quickly. “But he has won this round, the most important one yet. He has managed to take the thing I favor most—rather the person I love more than life itself.”
She felt the hot tears gather in her eyes and spill over on her cheeks.
It wasn’t fair.
Part of her wished he’d never told her how he felt. It just added to everything she would have to give up. But knowing he loved her…
It was everything.
She leaned closer and kissed him softly. When she pulled away, she saw his eyes glistened in the lantern light.
“I love you, Julian. I know what we have must come to an end. But the love…” She shook her head. “He can never take that from us. Never. I will hold it in my heart for the rest of my days.”
He nodded. “As will I.”