Chapter 10
CHAPTER TEN
“I’m so sorry.” Halle backed away from me but kept her hands on my chest. “This is so…” She shook her head. “And…” She sniffled, and I hated seeing her so upset. “I probably ruined your shirt.”
I couldn’t stop touching her. I kept my hands on her shoulders, needing that connection. “The shirt doesn’t matter.”
“I, um—” She spun away from me, grabbing her purse. “I need to get Kai. We have to get going.” Her movements were frantic, and I itched to fix whatever was bothering her. To beg her to open up to me. Trust me.
Before her phone call, it had felt as if we were on the precipice of something. But whatever she’d intended to say was now lost. And it didn’t matter. What mattered was that Halle was upset.
“Halle.” It was a plea. “Halle,” I said again, more of a command. “Stop.”
“I-I—”
What the hell had happened on her phone call? Who or what had made her cry? My mind raced with possibilities, none of them good.
“Stop.” I guided her over to the sofa, taking a seat next to her. I placed my hand on her thigh, desperate to ground her. “Take a breath.” I waited until she did so. Until she’d taken a few slow, deep breaths.
“There,” I said. “That’s better.”
She nodded. “Yeah.” Her shoulders relaxed by a hair. “Thanks.”
“What happened?”
She focused on the skyline, and I could see her reflection mirrored back at me in the large single-pane windows. “It’s getting late.”
“And you’re upset.” I tried to keep my tone gentle, open. “Talk to me. Please.”
Her shoulders relaxed, but she still wouldn’t look at me. “Do you think I should take the temporary promotion?”
Whatever I’d been expecting her to say, it hadn’t been that.
I didn’t want to sway her, and I was surprised she’d asked for my opinion.
Halle always seemed so confident when it came to her career.
And that confidence put others at ease. Whether Halle realized it or not, she was already a leader.
People within the company looked to her for answers and reassurance.
“Do you want to take it?” I asked.
“Jasper,” she huffed, turning to face me. “You can’t answer a question with a question.”
“I believe I just did,” I quipped. She gave me a flat look. “I wouldn’t have voted in favor if I didn’t think you’d do a good job.”
She seemed to brighten at that. Was she surprised I’d been in favor of the promotion? Surely she knew she had my vote of confidence.
“Thank you. I appreciate that. But that’s not what I asked. Why are you dancing around my question?”
“Because I’m trying to understand why you’re asking for my opinion in the first place. You earned the promotion. If you want the job, it’s yours.” To me, it was as simple as that. Halle would do a good job, and I knew I could count on her.
When she didn’t offer up any more information, I finally asked, “Halle, what’s this really about?”
“I need this job. But I also need to know that we can work together.”
“We’ve done a good job lately, haven’t we?”
She scoffed. “You’re kidding, right?”
“What?” I asked, genuinely mystified. Okay, so maybe I’d flirted a little. Pushed the boundaries. But there’d been no touching. No kissing. We were friendly; that was all.
She shook her head and glanced away once more. “Nothing. It doesn’t matter.”
“It does matter.” It mattered to me.
“I’m scared,” she whispered, a tear streaking down her cheek.
I wanted to wipe it away, but I had a feeling that would only make her clam up. Pull away. Withdraw. It would undo all the progress I’d so painstakingly made the past few weeks. Especially when she was finally letting me in.
“What are you scared of?” I asked in a gentle tone.
“I’m scared I’m going to screw it up. I’m scared we won’t be able to work together. I’m scared because my family needs me. Kai needs me. And I know this position will require even more of me than my current role.”
It was as if she was mirroring my emotions from the past few months back at me. “You don’t think I feel those same things?”
“I—” She opened her mouth and gaped at me. “You do?”
“Yes.” God, it felt good to admit that. “Every fucking day. The pressure. The fear. I’m drowning in it.”
Ever since I’d taken over for Graham, I felt as if I were going through the motions. I attended meetings, I made all these decisions, but I kept waiting for someone to expose me as a fraud. To tell everyone I had no fucking clue what I was doing.
I didn’t want to make this conversation about me, but I wanted Halle to understand. I wanted her to know that she wasn’t alone. And now that I’d confessed my struggles, I found myself wanting to tell her more.
“I never expected to be in this role. And to take over after someone like Graham?” I shook my head. “Someone who’s perfect.”
“First of all,” Halle said, giving me a dubious look. “No one’s perfect. Not even,” she added when I opened my mouth to protest, “Graham. Have you talked to him about this? Asked him how he handled the pressure? The expectations?”
“He entrusted the company to me.” Because there was no one else. “This is my responsibility. And besides, he deserves a break.”
“You should talk to him,” she said. “I bet he experienced similar feelings when he took over as CEO.”
I seriously doubted that. Graham had prepared to take over as CEO his entire life. “When he was CEO, he didn’t ask for help.”
“And that was a problem. You even mentioned in the past that it was an issue.”
Damn. She had me there.
“You have to stop comparing yourself to your brother,” Halle said. “You also have to remember that the version of Graham you’re comparing yourself to had been in this role for fourteen years! You’ve been doing it less than four months.”
What Halle said made sense, but still… This was Graham we were talking about. But this wasn’t about my brother. I wanted to know why Halle was so upset.
First, though, I wanted to reassure her. “I’m not trying to persuade you, but I know you’d be an amazing SVP. And even though we have—” I cleared my throat, hating the words I knew needed to be said. “Despite our history, we can make this work. We have to. Because Sloan needs you, and so do I.”
Halle was quiet a moment, considering. “I need this to work too. My dad…” She rolled her lips between her teeth. “Last summer, he was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s.”
“I’m sorry.” I didn’t want to let on that I already knew. Halle was opening up to me, trusting me. And I didn’t take that lightly. “I know you’re close.”
She nodded, tugging at the corner of her eye. “I’ve been trying to convince my mom to move him into an assisted living facility, but she keeps dragging her feet. After tonight—” She stared at the ceiling, looking as if she was trying not to cry again. “Well, I’m hoping she’ll realize it’s time.”
“What happened tonight?”
She dragged a hand through her hair. “Dad went missing. Thankfully, he found his way back home, but apparently, it wasn’t the first time he’d done this.”
I cringed, imagining someone with memory issues just…wandering off. “That sounds terrifying.”
“It was.” She gnashed her teeth. “I can’t believe my mom kept this from me.”
“Why do you think she’s hesitant to move him?” I asked.
“A lot of reasons. Some of it emotional. Some financial.”
I nodded. “Ah. I see.”
“The pay increase from the temporary promotion means that maybe I’ll finally be able to convince my mom to move forward with getting the care my dad needs.”
As in…she was going to help bear the financial burden. I rubbed a hand over my mouth. Damn.
I was tempted to offer Halle the money she needed outright, but I knew she’d never take it. In fact, the mere offer would probably piss her off.
My hopes for a future with Halle were sinking with every passing moment as the reality of the situation dawned on me. We both needed her position as SVP to work out, and the stakes were even higher than I’d realized.
“I didn’t want to tell you all of this—”
I placed my hand over hers, stopping her. “I’m glad you did.”
She studied the place where our hands were connected then met my gaze. “Thank you. I just, I guess I wanted you to understand why I need this to work. I want to do this for myself and for Sloan and the company. But I need to do this for so many other reasons.”
I remembered everything she’d said about needing this job. Needing us to maintain our distance. So even though I didn’t want to stop touching her, I removed my hand from hers.
“If you want the job, you should take it. You’ve earned it.”
She folded her hands in her lap. “And you really think we can do this?” she asked, clearly still skeptical.
I rested my arm on the back of the sofa, needing to infuse some levity into our conversation. “Afraid you can’t resist me?”
She narrowed her eyes at me. “As far as I’m concerned…” She hesitated for a beat. It wasn’t long, but it was enough for me to doubt her commitment. “We’re done.”
I stilled, remembering us saying those two words under completely different circumstances. And somehow, despite her bravado, I wasn’t buying it. She didn’t mean it now, just like she hadn’t meant it then.
We stood just outside the door to my hotel room. Well, my second hotel room. The one I’d reserved at a competitor’s hotel so Halle and I could be together without the risk of being seen by any of the Huxley Grand London employees.
“We’re done,” she said. And yet, she was still standing there. Watching me with heat in her eyes.
I wanted to ask, “Then why are you here?” But I didn’t. If she wanted to pretend this was over, fine. I would play her game.
I leaned in, swiping the keycard in front of the lock, my words a whisper along her ear. “So done.”
She shivered and turned to look at me, and I saw my own longing reflected back at me. I slanted my mouth over hers as I opened the door, knowing that we weren’t done. Not yet. Maybe not ever.
She grabbed my lapels and tugged me inside with her. “I mean it, Jasper,” she panted, breathless from our kisses.
The door shut behind us, and I guided her farther into the room, shedding clothes as we went.