Chapter 10 #2
“Mm.” I kissed my way down her neck. “So do I.”
I met her gaze, and I knew she was remembering that moment too. And the look in her eyes told me far more than the words she’d spoken. We weren’t done. Far from it.
Three weeks passed. Three long weeks in which Halle and I stuck to our agreement to “be professional.” Neither of us mentioned that night in my penthouse or our past. I knew she was under a lot of pressure at home and at work, and I didn’t want to add to it.
I might want more, but a relationship with her was impractical for so many reasons. So, I’d tried to keep my distance.
It was fine. I was fine.
I wasn’t fine.
I was on edge. I’d seen her on and off—passing her in the halls, smiling between meetings. But every time our eyes locked, that knot of ache in my chest both intensified and loosened. It was pathetic.
I could barely look at Halle without thinking of what could’ve been.
So I’d avoided her, mostly. I knew that wasn’t a winning strategy, nor would it be workable when Sloan went on maternity leave.
But I didn’t have much of a choice. I was now the CEO, and Halle had agreed to be the acting SVP in Sloan’s absence.
We were both committed to our jobs and the success of the company.
Halle deserved to be the SVP, even if it was temporary. But if anyone found out about our relationship, even if it was all in the past, people might question the true reason for her temporary promotion. They might doubt her abilities.
And then there was the matter of my position as CEO and the impact that my relationship with an employee could have on the company.
This wasn’t just about me and my feelings for Halle; it was about all one hundred and seventy-five thousand employees who were employed by the Huxley Grand, not to mention the communities that relied on the tourists our hotels attracted to the area.
Even more than that, it was about my family. Our legacy.
I’d never fully understood Graham’s obsession with legacy until now. And if he’d had any idea what was going on, he’d kill me.
“You seem distracted today,” Sumner said, dragging me away from my thoughts.
Distracted? I wanted to bark out a laugh.
Unfortunately, it wasn’t just today. It was every fucking day since Halle had moved to LA. Before that, even, but it was worse the closer our proximity.
“Want to talk about it?” Sometimes it felt more like Sumner was my therapist than my life coach. I’d tried talking to therapists in the past but with mixed success. None of them got me, but Sumner did. Halle did.
I sighed. What was there to say?
“Do you ever find it difficult to remain committed to your goals?” I asked, opting to keep it vague.
“Who doesn’t?”
“Emerson,” I muttered.
Sumner laughed. “This again? Yes, your sister-in-law is an Olympic gold medalist, but she’s not a machine. I bet if you asked her, she’d admit to struggling with her goals.”
“But she didn’t give up.”
“Doesn’t mean she didn’t feel like it.” Sumner shot me a look. “Are you finding it difficult to remain committed to your goals?”
Don’t talk about Halle. Don’t…
“I, uh—” I tugged on my collar.
Sumner arched one eyebrow. “Jasper?”
“Last summer, I was seeing someone. And she recently came back into my life.”
Sumner smiled. “Ah. I see. Is it serious?”
I lifted a shoulder. “She’s not interested in anything serious.”
Sumner lifted her chin in understanding. “But you are.”
I toyed with one of my cuff links, a gift from Nate for my birthday last year. “I want to be, but there are a lot of obstacles standing in the way. And I’m afraid she doesn’t completely trust me or my intentions.”
“So, prove her wrong. And be the man you want to be—for yourself but also for her.”
If only it were that simple. If only Halle weren’t my employee. But would I honestly stand a chance, even if she didn’t work for me?
“You don’t seem convinced,” Sumner said, observant as ever.
I barked out a laugh, dragging a hand down my face. “I can’t even get my shit together at work. If my work life is a mess, how can I have any hope of getting my personal life in order?”
“Start with what you can control. If you want everyone to see you as the boss, you have to take charge. Stop looking over your shoulder for your brother. Stop second-guessing yourself. You’re the CEO.” She held my gaze. “You’re in charge.”
I nodded, letting myself believe her words. “I’m in charge.”
Sumner passed me a business card. “It’s time to get serious about finding Darla’s replacement.”
I hung my head. I knew Darla wasn’t coming back. I’d known that for a while now. But I’d finally admitted it to myself.
“Call the Hartwell Agency. They’ll be able to help.”
The Hartwell Agency was a reputable staffing agency known for their service and discretion. Knox used them to staff his yacht. We used their services to staff the family jet. My family had hired a number of outstanding employees through them, including Kendall and Emerson.
“Is there a reason why you’re hesitating?” Sumner asked. “Besides the fact that you’ve been dragging your heels about hiring a new chief of staff.”
“Just want to make sure they can help me find the right type of person. Because hiring some young, attractive assistant is not going to help me convince everyone that I’ve changed.”
Sumner rolled her eyes. “Yes, a lot of their staff is attractive. But you can request certain things in your intake form. Ask for someone with twenty-plus years of experience. Hell, ask for a man if you want, if you’re worried about the perception of having a woman working for you.”
I set the card on my desk. I knew I was being unreasonable. The Hartwell Agency had an excellent reputation. I needed to stop making excuses.
“Okay. I’ll reach out to them.”
“Good.” Sumner brightened. “I think once you have a new chief of staff, a lot of things will fall into place. And before you know it, you’ll be well on your way to accomplishing your goals.”
“I want to believe that,” I said. “But to be honest, dating this woman is one of the biggest things that could derail everything.” And I did mean everything.
I considered leaving it at that, but I knew if I didn’t talk about this, the situation would continue to fester.
If I couldn’t talk to Sumner about it, who could I talk to?
Not Graham—he’d blow a gasket and regret leaving me in charge.
Not Sloan. It would unnecessarily stress her out when she was supposed to be limiting her anxiety.
Not to mention create friction with Halle.
And Pierce… Well, he might actually kill me.
So I finally said, “The woman in question is important to the company and my sister.”
“Ah. Now I understand.”
“I didn’t mean for this to happen.” I crossed and uncrossed my legs at the ankle, trying to dispel some of my restless energy.
“Yes, I knew the risks when we were together last summer. But at the time, I was an SVP with no thought of taking over as CEO. And we both agreed it was just for the summer.”
“I’ve been there.”
“Really?” I asked, leaning forward and resting my forearms on my thighs. Now I was intrigued. Maybe Sumner would have a solution for my predicament.
“I suppose I can tell you. Fair warning, it doesn’t paint me in the most professional light, but it’s also not something I’m ashamed of.”
“Okay,” I said, hoping that I sounded nonjudgmental. Accepting. Sumner had repeatedly shown me empathy, and I wanted to give her the same in return.
“When I was younger, I slept with my boss at the time.” She bit her lip, and I wondered how things had turned out for them. Then she added, “Who also happened to be my dad’s best friend.”
I tried to mask my reaction. “What happened?”
She laughed. “I married him.”
“Wait.” Record scratch. I held up my hand. “Jonathan, as in your husband? Your husband used to be your boss and your dad’s best friend?”
“Fortunately, he’s still my dad’s best friend.”
“Damn.” I shook my head.
Maybe there was hope for Halle and me after all. Sumner’s dad had gotten past her relationship with his best friend. Hell, even Sloan was married to her best friend’s brother. Of all people, Sloan would understand, right?
Maybe.
Maybe if they were just friends and didn’t work together, my sister wouldn’t have an issue with it. But it wasn’t quite so simple.
“Feel any better about your situation?” Sumner teased.
I laughed. If only.
“The trouble is, we’re going to be working closely together once my sister goes on maternity leave.”
“Do you think you can do that—successfully work together?”
I thought back on the past few weeks. Seeing Halle at the office. Shopping for art together. Spending time with her and Kai. It was both wonderful and excruciating.
“Spending time with her is…difficult. The more time I spend with her, the harder I fall.” And avoiding her was no better. Either way, I couldn’t win.
Sumner let out a low whistle. “Look, I know I said you should prove her wrong. And I would never want to discourage you—or anyone—from following their heart.”
“But…” I prompted, knowing there was definitely more to that statement.
“But that was before I fully understood the situation. And now that I do, I would caution you to remember your big-picture goals. You’ve told me time and again that you want people, your family especially, to see that you’ve changed.
You want to prove that you’re capable of running the company.
Based on what you’ve told me, I don’t think it’s the right time to pursue a relationship with her. ”
What Sumner said made sense, even if I didn’t like it.
“You’re right.” I blew out breath, disappointment coursing through me. “I know you’re right. I just… I guess I needed to talk to someone about it.” And realize how crazy the idea of pursuing a relationship with Halle truly was once I spoke the words aloud.
“Well—” Sumner placed her hand on my shoulder “—I’m glad you confided in me.
And I’m not saying you should never pursue her.
I just think you and your family and your company are already going through a lot.
Starting a new relationship—and one that’s sure to make waves—would be better left until things are more… settled.”
I considered Sumner’s words. Considered what Halle had told me about her wishes to keep things professional. Remembered how I’d consistently pushed those boundaries—by asking for her help with art. By ingratiating myself with Kai. By inviting them to my home.
“Thank you,” I said. “I appreciate your honesty.”
Sumner nodded. “Always. And look, I, of all people, know that sometimes the heart wants what it wants and it will not be dissuaded. But I think you should give it some time. Trite as this is going to sound, if it’s meant to be, it will be.”
I laughed. “Trite as fuck.” But she joined me.
Time. Give it time.
I didn’t want to be just friends with Halle, but if it was in the best interest of Halle, my sister, and the company, then I could be patient. If I had to wait a little longer, then I would.