Chapter 12 #2
“Right?” She laughed. “Shocking. I also tried a bobby pin. Nothing happened. Well, I suppose I broke the bobby pin.”
I went over to the door, evaluating the handle.
The lock. The Huxley Grand New York was housed in a historically listed building.
The structure had been built in the late 1800s and had been operating as a hotel almost continuously since its opening.
The interior had been restored, but many original details remained.
While the fire doors weren’t quite as old as the hotel, they’d only been fitted with electronic security keypads in the past decade or so. Which was why Halle had probably hoped to be able to pick the lock.
I tried to rack my brain for a solution. A way out. Before I could brainstorm any more great ideas, Halle said, “Face it. We’re stuck.”
I sank down beside her, needing a moment to regroup. I didn’t want to admit defeat.
She groaned, bracing her head on her hands. “I have to get out of here. Kai will worry if he doesn’t hear from me. I promised I’d call.”
“I’m sorry,” I said, feeling even worse about dragging her in here. “This is all my fault.”
“You couldn’t have known we’d get locked in.”
I appreciated her saying that, but it didn’t change the fact that we were stuck. And we would’ve never been in the stairwell had it not been for me.
I didn’t know how to fix this. Not just our current predicament, but all of it. I was going to be working closely with Halle for the next few months, and I couldn’t keep living like this.
Avoiding her didn’t work. Being friends with her was painful when I wanted so much more. And waiting, hoping, for a future together while fighting my attraction was proving to be a losing battle. But what choice did I have?
“Hey.” Halle perked up. “Do you think someone would realize you’re gone and come looking for you?”
“Maybe,” I said, not wanting to burst her bubble. “But I doubt it.”
This was one of the few times I wished I’d listened to Jackson when he’d suggested I hire personal security. I had a residential security team for my penthouse, but I preferred not to be followed around by a bodyguard at all times.
“But you’re the CEO,” Halle said.
“I know, but it’s not like someone is monitoring my every move.” At least, I hoped they weren’t. That would be creepy.
“But what if…” She stood and started pacing. “What if someone happened to see us go off together? What if they think…” She spun on me. “What if they think we’re sleeping together?”
“I doubt anyone saw us,” I said, hoping to allay her fears as well as my own. “If they had, they would’ve heard us banging on the door.”
“Yeah. And assumed that we were banging.” Her tone was rife with innuendo and concern.
I sighed. I was fucking it all up. Yet here we were—thanks to my actions—trapped in a stairwell together, and I was compromising Halle’s reputation and integrity. Not to mention my own.
Even though we weren’t sleeping together—now—I still wished we were. I wished for so much more than that where Halle was concerned. But this definitely wasn’t the way to go about it.
I pressed my hands to my thighs and stood. “They aren’t going to assume that.”
“They’re certainly going to assume something happened. It’s the logical conclusion given…well…” She gestured to me.
Right. Given the fact that she, and everyone else, thought I was a player.
“Given what?” There was an edge to my voice.
I understood that we were judged by our past actions, but we should also have space for transformation.
I’d changed—I was still changing and evolving—but no one seemed to want to give me credit for it.
Hell, the board—not my siblings, but the other members—seemed to want to lean into my billionaire playboy image. They liked that I was, well, liked.
Sometimes it pissed me off. Not only because I wanted to be valued for my contributions, but because it felt as if they were undermining Graham’s as well.
His past few years as CEO had been contentious with the board.
They’d been so focused on his reputation as a cold, heartless billionaire that they’d often ignored all the amazing things he’d done for the company, especially at the end.
Graham wasn’t cold or heartless, but I could understand why people had that perception of him.
And now that I’d stepped into his role, I was beginning to see just how difficult it could be to change people’s opinion of you.
Especially people who had known you a certain way for a long time, like my family. Or even Halle.
It was disheartening, but I liked a challenge. And I wouldn’t easily be deterred.
She gestured to me. “I mean, look at you.”
“What about me?” I asked, unwilling to let it go.
She stepped closer, and I could feel the air thickening with the unspoken tension. If we weren’t careful, we’d suffocate in the stairwell.
“Your skin is flushed.” She lifted her hand as if to touch my face then dropped it. “Your hair is mussed. And your clothes are rumpled.”
I looked down at myself. Oh. Oh.
Maybe that’s what she’d meant by people assuming we’d slept together. Not because of my playboy reputation but because of my current state.
Maybe I was the one jumping to conclusions, not Halle. Maybe she hadn’t meant anything by her comment. She’d literally been making an observation, but I’d taken it as an insult.
“Well, I did climb down ten flights of stairs then back up.”
“Thank you for doing that, by the way.”
“I wish one of the doors had been unlocked.” I sighed. “We’ll just have to wait until the music dies down and start banging on the door.”
Was I happy we were stuck? No. But I’d accepted the fact that there wasn’t much to be done about it. At least for now. Maybe later, after the party had wound down, we’d be able to get someone’s attention, assuming the cleaning staff would be within hearing range of the stairwell.
She shivered, wrapping her arms around herself. I lifted my jacket from the railing and placed it over her shoulders.
“Thanks.” She shoved her hands in her pockets. Then she paused, frowned, and removed something from one of them. “Do you often carry around protein bars?”
“These events can be hectic. Now that I’m the CEO, I find even more people making demands on my time. So I try to be prepared in case my meal is interrupted, as it so often is.”
“I can understand that,” she said, handing over the bar. Sometimes I didn’t know how she did it. If I was struggling to find time to eat because of my position in the company, Halle had it even worse. She was a single mom on top of a busy executive.
I shook my head, refusing to take it. “I’m fine. You should eat it.”
“I’m not hungry.”
“You sure about that? You picked at your meal.”
“Have to be able to fit into the dress.” She gestured to herself, and I couldn’t not look.
“That dress looks like it was made for you,” I said with all sincerity. “But I’d be happy to help you remove it if that would make you more comfortable.”
“Jasper,” she chided, but she was fighting a smile. Maybe I shouldn’t have said it, but at least it had lightened the mood. And I was grateful to be on more familiar footing. We’d been tiptoeing around each other lately, and I missed her sharp tongue and her quick wit.
I held up the protein bar. “Want to split it?”
“Maybe we should save it. Who knows how long we’ll be stuck here.”
Instead of making a promise I wasn’t sure I could keep, I opened the bar and handed half of it to her, determined to show her that I was confident we would get out. Surely someone would come.
She hesitated a moment then took it. “Thank you.” After she finished it, she dusted off her hands. “I’m sorry for snapping at you. I promised Kai I’d call, and I’m worried what will happen if I don’t.”
I couldn’t change our situation, but I could focus on the things I could control, just like Sumner and I had talked about. I hated that Halle was worried. I hated that I’d put her in this position. So I did the only thing I could—I tried to reassure her.
“Kai is going to be okay. His dad is with him. And Rosie.”
“True.” Halle smiled, perhaps thinking about how excited both Rosie and Kai had been when I’d dropped her off for their weekend together. “But…Kai relies on me.”
“Of course he does. You’re his mom.”
“No.” She shook her head. “You don’t understand.
Kai loves his dad, but he’s not used to my being away.
Plus, he’s still adjusting to living in a new city.
He’s always been attached to me, but after the divorce, well…
” She blew out a breath. “Let’s just say that he will freak out if he doesn’t hear from me. ”
“Freak out how?” I asked.
She nibbled on her nail. I took her hand in mine, desperate to comfort her.
“The last time I had to travel with Sloan on business, Kai lost four pounds. He was sick to his stomach for days because he was stressed by my absence.”
I frowned, not liking the sound of that. “I’m sorry it’s been so difficult on him. On both of you.” I was tempted to drape my arm around her and hold her, to try to comfort her, but then I thought better of it. It was enough that we were holding hands.
“Thanks.” She dropped her head to her chest. “He’s always had stomach issues, but the doctors have yet to find a cause, apart from anxiety.”
She sounded so…defeated. I hated it—for her, for Kai. I hated that he was suffering. He’d never even let on. He always seemed like such a happy, carefree kid.
“Does being away from Craig trigger that reaction?” I asked, her ex’s name bitter on my tongue. Maybe it was because he was in her suite that I suddenly felt so threatened.
I still couldn’t believe he was even in LA. After everything Halle had told me of her ex, I would’ve never expected him to fly across the world and spend the weekend with his son. I was happy for Kai, truly. But I was also mistrustful. Cautious on Kai and Halle’s behalf.
“Just me.”
“But you’re not convinced his stomach troubles are all down to anxiety,” I said.
She shook her head. “No, but everyone else—the doctors, Craig—thinks I’m being ridiculous.”
I gnashed my teeth, hating everyone who had ever made her doubt herself. “You’re Kai’s mom. You know him better than anyone. And if your gut tells you it’s something else, then trust it.”
When she met my gaze, she looked so…fragile. “You mean that?”
“Yes.” I gave her hand a squeeze before releasing her. “One hundred percent.”
“Thanks.”
I wanted to ask more questions. I wanted to find a solution. But I sensed that wasn’t what Halle needed. She had enough people who made her question herself. So I kept my mouth shut, giving her space. Trying to be there for her in the best way I could—for now.
There was no way Sloan knew about this, or she would’ve found a way around having Halle travel. But now that Halle was going to be acting SVP, at least temporarily, we’d have to come up with a solution for any trips that arose. In the meantime, I wanted to reassure her and keep her calm.
“When I was a kid, I developed a lot of anxiety after my parents died,” I said, wanting Halle to know that she wasn’t alone, and neither was Kai.
She turned to me, her expression one of sadness but also understanding.
It made me feel safe to continue, and I found myself sharing things with her that I’d never shared with anyone outside of my family.
And even then, not all of my siblings knew or understood the extent of what I’d gone through.
They’d been dealing with enough of their own challenges. Their own grief.
“Anytime my grandparents left, even just for an evening, I panicked. I couldn’t fall asleep until they returned. And the entire time they were gone, I was afraid they would never come home.”
I could remember the absolute terror I felt anytime they left, even if it had been scheduled and discussed ahead of time.
“I’m sorry, Jasper.” Halle placed her hand on mine. “You were so young to have your parents ripped away from you. And so suddenly.”
I nodded. “It was hard on all of us. Sometimes I don’t know how my grandparents did it.” I blew out a breath. “They lost both their children and their spouses, all at once. They became the guardians of their five orphaned grandchildren.”
It had been a shock, and it had sent ripples through my family, affecting all of us in different ways.
“I’m sure you and your siblings are what kept them going.”
I chuckled. “We didn’t always make it easy on them.”
As the eldest, Knox had taken on the role of peacemaker. Caretaker. He always took care of us, watched out for us. Nate was just as protective in his own way.
Graham had always been brooding and serious, but he had turned inward even more so. Sloan had been so young…she’d barely gotten to know our parents. And that was its own kind of loss. The grief of lost memories and stolen moments.
And I was the jokester, determined to make everyone laugh when all they wanted to do was cry. I was so sick of seeing them be sad. Not that I hadn’t been devastated myself—I was. But I’d made it my goal to keep my family entertained, even at my own expense.
“You miss them,” Halle said.
I nodded. “I was really close to them, especially my gran. Even before my parents’ crash, she was the one person who always seemed to get me. I took her death really hard.”
When I was in my twenties, coping with the death of my grandparents, humor had no longer been enough. When Pops and Gran had died, one right after the other, the pain and grief had been all-consuming. So, too, had the fear.
It was then I’d realized that there was nothing I could do, nothing I could learn, to prevent the death of someone I loved.
I felt as if I’d been kidding myself all along, foolishly believing that knowing how to fly an airplane would protect me. Or thinking that learning CPR would save the life of someone I loved. My grandparents’ deaths couldn’t be prevented. No one’s could.
Halle gave my hand a squeeze. Before she could pull away, I flipped my hand so it was holding hers. “I made some really stupid decisions. Ones I’m not proud of.”
I remembered how it had become easier to numb the pain. With fast cars, alcohol, late nights, and other questionable escapades. While my siblings were lauded for their achievements, I’d become known as the playboy billionaire brother.
Sometimes it grated on me—that everyone had such low expectations of me.
But there had been a string of years when I hadn’t given anyone a reason to believe I was capable of anything else.
Over time, the playboy lifestyle had certainly lost its shine, and I’d finally had to admit to myself that I wanted more out of life.
I was scared shitless of the idea of losing someone I loved, but I also didn’t want to miss out on life because I was afraid. It wasn’t until Halle that I’d felt brave enough to try.