Chapter 26
Diesel
A fter we were done, I used my shirt to clean us both before turning on the Jeep so we’d be a bit more comfortable while lazing inside it. I wished I could just take Shay-Lee up to my place, but unfortunately, Oro was there, and the last thing I wanted was for him to have his claws set on Shay-Lee. To be clear, I was scared about what Shay-Lee might do to Oro, considering his hot temper and clear jealousy. Although, like I said, he had nothing to be jealous of, considering Oro was just a kid I knew and helped. Leaving them together earlier might have turned out well for me, but I didn’t want to force Shay-Lee to go through it again. Whatever Oro told him—and I bet he spat out some of his usual nonsense—affected Shay-Lee, enough to make him doubt himself and us .
For the last couple of minutes, we stayed quiet. I leaned against the car door, my legs spreading forward as much as they could, while Shay-Lee half rested on me as he ran his fingers along my arm.
“Hey.” I nudged him a little bit. “What ya thinking about?”
He hummed before hugging my arm. “Nothing specific.”
“Bullshit.”
“Fine.” He huffed. “What was that thing about a mole?”
Wishing I had a cigarette, because nothing felt as good as sharing one after a good fuck, I decided to settle for gum. Reaching for the pack that fell from my pocket earlier, I picked it up from the car’s floor and popped two in my mouth before answering his question.
“Remember when I tried telling you how I was still working for Dion?”
Shay-Lee pretended to be clueless, so I flicked his forehead.
He chuckled. “Yes, of course I remember. I was mad about it for the last two weeks.”
I smiled. “Well, long story short, we had a mole in the organization. It made Dion lose a lot of money and caused problems… Anyway, my last task was to track him down.”
Shay-Lee’s curious eyes met mine. “And? Did you?”
“Thanks to Oro, I did,” I said between chewing, thinking back on the low-life guard who was stupid enough to steal information from Dion. As much as I loathed my boss, by now, I knew better than to mess with that crazy French fucker, who was, without a doubt, a loose cannon. People often thought he wasn’t as dangerous as he looked. Fools . He was a lot worse. That man had some serious issues, which I doubted he went to a shrink to sort them out.
“So who was it?” Shay-Lee asked while reaching his hand up to poke my cheek.
I took a moment to study how beautiful he was before answering. “Some bodyguard who worked at the club. After leaving the apartment earlier, I went over to his place and found loads of money, papers, even a burner phone, pretty much proving he’s our rat.”
“A rat.” He chuckled. “I feel bad we give rats such a bad name. I actually like rats.”
“You do?” I pushed his hair away from his face, and he nodded.
“Yeah. They survive quite well.”
“You used to call us rats, remember?” I said, referring to the time we were in high school.
Letting out some air, Shay-Lee lowered his body down so his head was on my lap while his feet touched the car’s window. “I used to say lots of crap back then…” He seemed to be lost in thought, with his eyes focused on his bare feet until he spoke again. “Anyway, what does it mean now that you’ve caught the mole?”
“That I’m free.”
Silence followed my statement, and I think it was simply because we both needed time to process it. For so long, I couldn’t think about being free, let alone mouth those words, but now…
“Hey.” Shay-Lee placed his hand on my cheek, forcing me out of my head. Slipping his hand to the back of my neck, he pulled me down into a short, upside-down kiss. “I’m so glad you are because I can’t wait to start our life together.”
Overwhelmed by emotion, I was unable to say a word and simply nodded while chewing my stupid gum. Unlike me, Shay-Lee didn’t try holding back and instead offered me a big smile before he moved to sit in my lap.
“I have another question.”
“Of course you do.”
He smacked my chest. “Don’t be an ass.”
“I’ll try. Now, ask away.”
“Why was it so hard for you to tell me you loved me?”
The urge to get out of the car was suddenly unbearable, and if not for Shay-Lee holding me still, I would have probably attempted to do it. Yet, seeing as how there was no escaping, I grunted, and he pinned me with a harsh look.
“What is it?” He frowned. “Are you one of those men who were hurt by love and now can’t bring themselves to fall again?”
My face twisted with the crap he was spitting out. “What the fuck?”
“Are you emotionally unavailable, then?” he asked with a straight face.
“What the hell does that even mean?”
Shay-Lee shrugged. “I dunno, but it sounds like a reason.”
“A stupid-ass reason,” I said, then spat my gum into the car’s ashtray .
He snapped his fingers. “I know. You need more time to heal and reassurance of our love—”
Wanting him to shut it, I grabbed his hips and pulled him down until he was on his back with me on top. “Where do you even get all that shit from?” I laughed, and he smiled.
“I may or may not have read one of Miles’s romance books.”
Romance books?
“But I’m serious.” He poked my nose. “I want you to tell me why.”
My eyes darted to his lips before going back to his baby blues. Knowing that I had no chance against him, I didn’t even try fighting him.
“Carmen, Mamá, Iván… they were the only ones I ever said those words to, and look what happened.” Immense, gut-wrenching sadness overtook me with the thought of them, and I had to swallow hard before I could speak again. “I don’t want to admit that I believe in superstitions… but I do, and so far, luck hasn’t necessarily shown me any favors.”
Shay-Lee’s brows rose to his hairline, and I wondered if he found me to be dead-ass crazy a moment before a big smile took over his features.
“Awww.” He pushed his bottom lip into a pout before smacking my cheeks in his palms and squeezing me tight. “That’s such a stupid reason but also, like, the cutest shit ever.” He pulled me down in a crushing hug.
“You’re so adorable, Camilo.”
Ugh.
With my head shoved in his chest and his arms wrapped around me, he spoke. “All jokes aside, I’m glad you told me. But you have nothing to be scared of.”
“How come?” I asked, looking up at him.
“Because I ain’t going to die anytime soon, darling.” He flashed me a toothy grin that didn’t help to put my nerves at ease.
It didn’t matter that we went through hell and survived because we were still far from being safe. On top of that, the mere thought of his death made me feel sick to my stomach, enough so that I couldn’t even bear talking about it.
“What are you going to do about Jordan?” I, very bluntly, changed the subject.
It was his turn to sigh.
“Next week, we’re going to see his mom for her birthday. I’m thinking of breaking up with him after that.”
“What? Why?” I grimaced, my blood spiking because I wanted him to end it tonight .
“Because,” he said with a grunt while rising up, pushing me while doing so. “It’s going to be hard on him, and I’d rather not ruin his mom’s birthday in addition to breaking his heart.”
“Who cares about his heart,” I groaned and got a glare in return.
Only now fixing his clothes so he’d look less fuckable (if that was possible given the bruises on his neck and messy hair), he went on saying the same crap about how Jordan was a good guy and how we shouldn’t hurt him and blah, blah, blah—
“Hey.” He grabbed my jaw and forced me to look at him. “I am going to break up with him. You just need to be patient for a week or two.” He finished putting on his shirt when he turned to give me a sassy look. “Besides, it’s not like I won’t see you during that time.”
I raised a questioning brow his way. “You won’t?”
A devilish smirk pulled on his lips before he climbed back on my lap. “Think I can live without this?” He palmed my cock over my pants.
“So you only want me for my body?”
“What can I say?” He bit my bottom lip. “You’re hot as fuck.”
Ah, damn it . I was getting hard, and he noticed it, too. Looking between us, Shay-Lee chuckled.
“My, my, it seems like he doesn’t mind being used.”
“Maybe.”
“Maybe?” He raised one brow, and I’d already unzipped my pants .
“Yeah, maybe. I say, we give it another try and see what he has to say about being used.”
“Well.” Shay-Lee got off my lap and moved aside before tucking his hair behind his ear. “I must perform well, then,” he said, then ducked his head down and darted out his tongue to lick along my hard length.
We might have just fucked a while ago, but that didn’t stop us from going for another round that was just as hot. By the time we were done, it was almost dawn, and Shay-Lee had to go back home. I was sad to say goodbye, but when he gave me one last kiss while assuring we’d meet on Saturday at Soren’s stupid party, I promised to be a good boy and wait for him.
And I managed to do that for a whole two days until I couldn’t bear another minute without seeing him and so paid him a visit at work. And then at home when Jordan was away. Then another visit to his gym and yoga class, and before I knew it, it was Friday night, and I was counting the minutes to see him again… Tomorrow .