Chapter 4
4
DAISY
I wake at four am. Nine in the UK and technically an hour late. I stare at the dark ceiling above me. If I was still in bed this late at The Heath, my day’s jogging privileges would already be revoked and Crewes or Harrison would be ripping my blanket off. I’d be given thirty seconds to get dressed and then I’d be dragged into the breakfast room. Then, my breakfast would be chosen for me as punishment … probably brown toast, which they all know I hate. There would be a hissed promise to tell Stoke I was speaking out of turn if I said anything, or didn’t eat it, which would mean no dessert at dinner at the very least.
So, I don’t get up despite the rolling of my gut that I’m breaking the rules even though no one will know. I give myself a few luxurious minutes to lay in bed to prove to myself that there’s no reprimand waiting for me. I think about the day ahead. I’m meeting with my new and only friend at Grinder, class at ten and then my first shift at the café before Nineteenth Century Literature.
My stomach flips at the thought of all the firsts that today will bring, and I’m not sure if I’m excited, or terrified. Both would be logical, I decide. All of this is new. Change. I’m doing quite well with it all, actually. Last week, I wouldn’t have believed I’d be here, outside The Heath with my life ahead of me.
Hopefully.
My fingers idly stroke the comforter that’s over me, and I frown. When I left the room to shower last night, I’m sure the bed was still unmade. Someone came in while I was in the bathroom and put the sheets on. I was too tired and too overstimulated last night to really take anything else in, though I remember Mav talking to me about housekeepers and the kitchen. I eye the empty plate on my nightstand. He gave me half a sandwich.
At the time, I was hungry, and I didn’t question it, but I wonder now why he brought me it. I didn’t think he liked me all that much, and he seemed very annoyed that Shade had told him he was going to be taking me to class today.
Thinking of school, my eyes fall on the envelope that I can just see on the desk. I have a map, now and ... I’m my own woman! I don’t actually need them to show me anything.
Emboldened, I wait until seven-thirty before I get up. I get dressed in the skirt, white shirt, and blazer that I wore to my mother’s funeral yesterday, and, as I stand in front of the mirror brushing my hair, I think about the last time I saw my mom. The day she and John left me at The Heath. I’d thought for sure she’d come back for me, but she never did. She never called. She never even wrote.
I push the thoughts away, not liking the feelings they elicit. Instead, I contemplate the large, full-length mirror as I put my hair into a high ponytail. The one I had in my room at The Heath was a tiny square behind my door.
I tilt my head at my reflection. Mary Poppins was right. It is much nicer to see one’s entire face all at once .
I put on the heels, wincing in pain as they dig into my already sore feet. But I ignore it as I walk across the room and make sure I have my map. As I open the large envelope and read quickly through the documents, I see with a sinking feeling that I need to buy at least five textbooks for my classes.
Shit.
Where am I going to get the money for that? I suppose I’ll have to ask Shade to lend me some as John will have already left for that conference in Zurich.
I put the papers back inside and notice the small envelope that I vaguely remember from yesterday on the floor. I pick it up and glance at the clock, hastily shoving it into its larger counterpart when I see it’s already eight. I need to meet Lu soon.
I hurry into the bathroom and quickly brush my teeth before I head downstairs with the small box of teabags I was able to liberate from The Heath before I left. When I get downstairs, I start taking in a lot more of the house than I did yesterday. The stairs are carpeted, but the foyer to the kitchen is hardwood. I slink into the sleek, modern kitchen and grab a delicious-looking pastry from an open box on the black counter, not thinking much of it as I hunt around the matching glossy cupboards for the kettle.
‘What the fuck?’
I glance over my shoulder to see one of the juniors from the games room yesterday, and my heart ratchets up a notch. What does he want?
‘You might be staying here, but you aren’t one of us. You don’t get to eat our food.’
I glance at the pastry that I’ve already taken a bite from and push back the mortification that rises fast.
‘Oh. I’m terribly sorry,’ I say. ‘The box was open, so I thought?— ’
‘Girls like you shouldn’t think,’ he snarls.
My head shakes a little and my embarrassment is replaced quickly with confusion. ‘Girls like me?’
‘Yeah.’
But he doesn’t elaborate.
I turn back to my task. ‘Do you have a kettle?’ I ask.
‘A what?’ he snarls.
I hold the teabags up. ‘To make hot water for the tea.’
‘Uh ... there’s a microwave right next to you, genius.’
For a moment, I think I’ve misheard him, or perhaps he doesn’t understand.
‘I beg your pardon?’
Surely he can’t mean that they use the microwave to boil water.
He points at the microwave next to me and I cast my eye over it. Then, I turn back to stare at him, hoping he sees the expression on my face for what it is: Horror and disgust.
Is that what they do to make hot drinks here? Granted, when I left the US I was only just thirteen. I’d never had a cuppa before then, but I just assumed kettles were a thing everywhere. Clearly not in this house, though.
Savages.
But I want my morning cup of tea, so I do what he seems to think is normal.
I know he’s watching me as I look around in the most logical cupboards for a mug and when I fill it with water from the tap ... faucet . He’s still there when I get the microwave to work and while I stare at it as it turns slowly under the light inside. It bings a minute later, and I take it out, copying the microwave’s ‘bing’ aloud and then wincing because I’m not supposed to do that. The junior doesn’t say anything, though, and I steep the tea, working it with a spoon because I like it strong before I add just a splash of milk .
When there’s only silence behind me, I assume he’s gone, and I’m startled when I find him still watching me as I turn back to the counter.
I frown at him and take a sip, instantly regretting listening to a word this idiot has said.
Microwave? No . The taste is awful. A kettle is clearly needed. Perhaps this important information was somehow lost here when the Colonials dumped all the tea into the Boston harbor that time.
I tip the mug into the sink with a sound of disappointment.
‘Never mind,’ I mutter. ‘I’ll do without.’
He doesn’t move as I skirt past him, so I pretend to ignore him as I grab my map off the counter and make sure I have my thirty dollars tucked in my bra.
I know that I’m meant to wait for Mav, The Commodore, to take me to class, but since I’m meeting Lu before, I decide that he isn’t necessary. No doubt he’ll be happy he’s off the hook.
Leaving the house, I find that the weather is sunny once more and wonder if I should go back in for my sunglasses. But the door clicks closed behind me, and I know the guy in the kitchen won’t let me back inside. I wonder how I’ll have to break in later, but that’s a future me problem, and I have a bunch of others to deal with before then, so I try not to think about it right now.
I make my way to the Quad and see that I’m five minutes early. There are plenty of students milling around, but, thankfully, not in the numbers there were at the event yesterday. Grinder is open, or at least the hatch is, and there’s a short line of both faculty and students waiting to get their morning fix.
I scowl as I remember what I will now call the ‘Tea Tragedy of Day Two’. It doesn’t seem right to start a day without my morning cup and I’m annoyed about the whole thing.
Lu’s head pokes out of the hatch a second later. ‘Hey, sweetie! Come in for a sec. Want a coffee?’
I open my mouth, but her head has already disappeared back inside.
I go in and find the room mostly dark.
‘We don’t open properly until nine,’ Lu says from behind the counter as she makes a drink I can’t see. ‘But here.’ She thrusts a white cardboard cup at me. ‘Have this. You clearly need it. You look like you got like no sleep last night at all.’ She puts her hand on her hips. ‘Was it the frat guys? They too loud?’
I give her a small smile as I shake my head. ‘Actually I was in bed by eight. I didn’t hear anything in the night, either. Guess everyone wanted an early one before classes started today.’
‘You went to bed at eight?’
I nod. ‘Jetlag. Still on UK time so it was past one am for me, and then I was up around four. Doesn’t matter. I don’t usually sleep well anyway.’
‘Insomniac, huh?’
My head begins to supply all of the details I should give her so that she understands what I mean completely, but I know better than to say any of it. ‘Something like that.’
‘Sugar?’
She points at a station nearby with little sachets and stirrers, and whatnot. I grab a lid.
‘So why did you want me here so early?’
‘I’m taking you somewhere to get some work pants.’ She shrugs. ‘I looked through Lost and Found, but there was nothing that would fit you.’
‘Oh,’ I say. ‘But I don’t really have... ’
But she’s already leaving and it’s all I can do to follow her and try to keep up.
I bite my lip, a little worried that she might think I have Novelle money. I make an effort to catch up and walk next to her.
‘Lu?’ I mutter.
‘What’s up? Do you like your latte?’
I’d forgotten about it, so I take a sip. It’s not the same, but it’s actually better than I thought it would be, and much nicer than the swill the blanks used to drink in their break room.
‘Yes, it’s very nice, thanks. But, Lu, wherever we’re going to get clothes, you should know that ...’
She slows and looks at me.
‘Well, you should probably know that ...’
For some reason I’m embarrassed and I’m not sure why.
‘I don’t have any money,’ I blurt. ‘No, that’s not true. I have thirty bucks from a decade ago, but that’s it. Thank you for giving me the job yesterday. I really need it.’
I’m not sure how I thought Lu would react, but she just gives me a thumbs up. ‘It’s cool. I mean, the money thing sucks, babe, but we’ll get it figured out.’
I stop in the middle of the path at her words. Nothing seems to phase this girl.
‘Why are you being so nice to me?’ I ask.
‘Because I think you’re a good person,’ she says readily as if she was waiting for the question. ‘And there aren’t all that many good people around, you know?’
I nod. I do know that.
Lu takes me along a few roads and through some alleyways until we reach the town of Richmond that I remember from when Shade drove us through it yesterday. There’s a small main street with a grocery store and a diner as well as some boutique-y looking shops I hadn’t noticed. We go inside one called Second Love , and I realize it’s a charity shop ... consignment store .
‘Everyone who goes to school at Richmond brings their cast-offs here,’ Lu says with a roll of her eyes. ‘All the rich kids who wear stuff like once or twice used to just throw it out, but there was this big campus-wide ‘re-use, reduce, recycle’ thing by a couple of the sororities, and now everyone brings their shit here. The lady that owns it, my aunt Kath, sells it to us poor kids for cheap. She opens early on a Thursday. And, yes, she is my actual aunt ... sort of.’
‘Sort of?’
Lu walks slowly through the store as I gaze around with wide-eyes. I look at one of the tags and realize that I can probably get a few outfits here and still have a little left over.
When my eyes find Lu again, she’s already walking toward me with a handful of clothes.
‘You need a lot of stuff,’ I remark, and she laughs.
‘No, silly, this is all for you to try on. Now, hurry because we only have like an hour before you need to leave. Don’t wanna be late for your first class!’
She ushers me to the back where there’s a small fitting room. She hangs up everything inside and then practically pushes me in, swishing the curtain closed.
‘Show me everything!’ she orders.
Feeling in a bit of a whirl, I shuck my clothes quickly and try on a pair of faded jeans and a tank top with a sweater. When I show Lu, she looks me over with a critical eye.
‘Not the sweater,’ she murmurs. ‘It’s too light for you.’
She takes off to one of the racks, picks out something similar in emerald green, and nods at me. ‘This will look great with your dark hair and bring out your eyes.’
The next half an hour goes by similarly until I have a small pile of about five outfits that I can mix and match into quite a few ensembles. There are a couple of pairs of jeans, a few tanks, sweaters, and she even finds a pair of short, black boots in my size that are much more comfortable than the pumps I’m wearing. I do look around for bras and undies, but they don’t seem to have any of that. I suppose it’s not really a second-hand type of thing, so I’ll have to make do with what I brought with me from The Heath.
When we’re done, the smiling, vacant-looking lady at the register, who Lu informs me is a friend of Aunt Kath, rings me up. It comes to just twenty-seven bucks. I hand over the money. I’d hoped to have more left over, but I can’t complain. I’ve now got more than enough clothes to last me awhile, and I didn’t even have to ask Shade for a loan, which I’m glad about.
I can tell that he thinks I’m the same girl I was when I left, and I want to show him that I can stand on my own two feet, that I don’t need him sticking his neck out for me like he did back then.
I take some of my new clothes out of the bag and run back into the changing room to put them on, glad that I don’t seem to stick out like I did before.
When I come out in some ripped jeans with a black tank and a blue mesh shirt over the top with my new boots, Lu gives me a thumbs up. ‘Looking hot, Daisy Duke!’
I chuckle, shaking my head a little as I look back at myself in the mirror.
‘I look ... average?’
Something passes over my friend’s face that I can’t decipher and she laughs. ‘Average? Not in a million years!’
I wince, my spirits plummeting as I look at myself again, trying to figure out what’s wrong, what makes me look ‘other’ to everyone but me. But I can’t see it. I never can.
‘Hey,’ Lu is by my side in an instant. ‘Are you okay? What was that? ’
‘I just ... want to look like everyone else,’ I say, catching her eye in the mirror. ‘Normal.’
‘Normal is overrated,’ she says quietly.
‘Not for me. Not right now, anyway. I suppose I just want to blend into the background for a bit,’ I try to explain. ‘I don’t want everyone’s eyes on me all the time.’
‘Riiiight,’ she says, but I can see that she still doesn’t really get it. Maybe it’s the theater girl in her.
‘But I look okay?’ I say, changing tack.
‘More than okay, babe,’ she says with a smile.
‘Good.’
She fusses with my shirt a little and I let her, feeling less uncomfortable than when she got a little too tactile last time.
‘Bring your work clothes with you later and you can change in the back at Grinder.’
I copy the thumbs-up she gave me, and she grins.
We walk back to campus together, and I see that it’s only a few minutes until my class. When I check the paperwork, it looks like it’s in the falling-down building from yesterday, so I leave Lu at the coffee shop and make my way to the right place. I locate the room easily and find that my first ever class as a college student is in a lecture hall, just like in the movies.
With an excited smile, I sit about halfway down one of the rows and watch the room slowly fill up. The lights dim and the professor comes to stand at the front. He says his name and begins talking. I glance around and frown. Everyone has a laptop. I look down at my tiny and very empty desk.
I don’t have anything. I didn’t even think to bring a pen. I make a tiny noise of distress as I internally berate myself for my stupidity, and glance around me as if paper and something to write with will magically appear.
‘Forget your laptop? ’
I turn my head to find a girl behind me.
I nod. ‘Yeah, totally slipped my mind.’
‘I’ve done that before,’ she commiserates. ‘Want some paper?’
‘Yes, please,’ I answer.
She hands a lined notebook and a pen and I smile my thanks. I begin taking notes from the screen at the front and try to figure out what the professor is talking about. But all I can really gather is that there was a pilgrimage a long time ago, and this guy wrote about it.
Two hours later when the lights come on and everyone begins to file out, I realize that I have no idea what this class is about. I didn’t understand what the professor was talking about, and when the person next to me let me look at their copy of The Canterbury Tales , I could barely understand what was written. When I said as much to them, they gave me a funny look, told me that it was Middle English, and said that surely someone with my accent should know that.
Guess they picked up on the Britishness.
I leave the lecture hall with the piece of paper that I ripped out of the notebook that was lent to me, feeling dazed and wondering why John enrolled me in English Lit when I know almost nothing about it. The very few classes I did on this subject at The Heath weren’t very interesting, and I found quickly that my aptitudes lay elsewhere. I thought it would be fine, that I’d be able to pick it up if I had to, but it might be more difficult than I thought. I’ll have to try harder. I can’t fail.
I walk slowly from the building, deep in thought.
‘You were supposed to wait for me,’ a voice nearby snarls.
Startled, I look up to find Mav staring down at me. He’s even taller than I remember, I think, as my eyes follow his body up and up to his face .
I count five seconds of eye contact before I move them away again.
I vaguely notice a couple of other guys that I don’t recognize with him, but I don’t look at them properly. I know I’m at the center of their attention, which makes me feel uncomfortable, so I try to ignore them.
‘I was meeting a friend before class,’ I explain, canting my head. ‘I thought you’d be happy you didn’t need to ... babysit .’
He moves closer, looming over me and making me feel even tinier. I take a step back, and he follows, stalking me to the edge to the path.
‘Were you eavesdropping last night, sweetheart?’
His voice is low. Dangerous.
I shake my head, wondering what he’s talking about.
‘If you were, you’ll be sorry.’
‘I wasn’t,’ I say, looking up at him with wide eyes. ‘I just meant that you don’t need to worry about me getting places.’ I pull my map out of my pocket. ‘See?’
I’m taken aback when his hand shoots out and takes hold of my chin, but I don’t struggle even though I want to. I won’t give him the satisfaction of showing fear. He leans in closer and I freeze, my mind stuttering. But then I register a scent that has me sniffing the air in front of me. It’s floral and musky. I don’t know what the fragrance is, but I love it.
‘When I’m supposed to be taking you somewhere, you wait for me, Tulip. Understand?’
I stare at his chest and nod, still smelling him as surreptitiously as I can.
‘It’s Daisy,’ I correct without thinking.
‘What?’
‘You said, ‘Tulip.’ It’s Daisy.’
‘Does it matter? A flower is a flower.’
I glance up at his eyes again, and, oddly, they get caught there for longer than usual. ‘Marguerite is my real name,’ I say. ‘But it means Daisy in French.’
‘I see.’
His fingers are still holding my jaw, and I’m sure I feel them move as if he’s caressing me, but then he pulls away.
‘I’ll be at the house at one-fifty to walk you to your next class, Tulip,’ he says.
I frown as he turns away. ‘But why? I told you I can get to where I’m going by myself.’
‘Look, Shade wants it done, so I’m going to do it. Some crazy chick who just spent a decade in the loony bin isn’t going to change my mind.’
I hear my own gasp as he says it aloud. In front of people. I didn’t want anyone here to know about The Heath.
My cheeks hot, I glance at his two friends who are now staring with even more interest than before. They look like the blanks, I realize. They’re staring at me like I’m three parts crazy, one part intriguing.
I hate it. I’m afraid I’m going to cry, so I do the only thing I can. I turn on my heel and run.
For the rest of the day, I go through the motions. I go to Grinder for my first shift and try to pay attention. I think I pull it off, but my mind just keeps going back to what Mav said, like an earworm going around and around in my head.
Why would he say that? It’s not my fault Shade told him to take me to class. Does everyone know now?
Lu lets me out at one-thirty so I can make it back to the house in time for Mav to take me back to campus. It grates on me because it makes no sense, but until I can speak to Shade about how stupid this is, I suppose I’ll just have to endure his friend, who, despite giving me half a sandwich last night, clearly doesn’t like me .
Why I care, I don’t know. Not many people do like me, after all, and usually, I don’t even notice until they do something to exclude me ... or hurt me.
I wait outside the house because I can’t get in. I stash my bag of clothes behind a bush, hoping it doesn’t rain before I can collect it, and wait for Mav to show up.
When he comes out of the house, he doesn’t say a word, just walks me quickly back to campus and to another building. It looks just as old as the other English building, but at least this one isn’t falling down.
I wasn’t going to say anything to him either, not even about how illogical it is to make me go all the way to the house only to turn straight around to go back to campus again, but as he turns away, I can’t help myself. What he said before was really mean, but maybe he doesn’t know that I want a fresh start.
‘That wasn’t very nice,’ I say.
He pauses mid-step and swings back to me, eyebrows raised. ‘What wasn’t?’
‘What you said before in front of your friends.’
His answering smirk has my eyes narrowing as I focus them on his broad chest.
‘I don’t know what Shade has said to you, but where I’ve been over the past few years is no one’s business but my own. You shouldn’t be telling people. It isn’t very nice.’
He doesn’t reply for a moment and I huff, looking away to stare at the ground. Why did I bother to try to explain?
‘Your eyes are shifty, did you know that?’
I glance at him and then away with a snort. ‘Can’t help it.’
‘Look at me.’
‘I don’t want to,’ I say almost petulantly.
He steps closer like he’s being pulled into my orbit by some unseen power and takes my chin like he did before. This time it’s gentle and much more like a caress from the beginning. I can’t help leaning forward and sniffing the air around him, taking in the scent as he tips my face up to his.
‘Look into my eyes.’
We look into each other’s eyes when we speak. That’s one of the rules here.
It’s like a bucket of cold water thrown over my head. I flinch away, and, thankfully, Mav lets me go. My hands are shaking and my legs feel like they can barely hold me up as I stagger away from him. I think he calls my name, but I don’t look back as I disappear into the building, my heart racing.
I head for the bathroom and find it blessedly empty, so I lean against the cement block wall and will myself to be calm. I’m not there. I never have to follow the rules again if I don’t want to.
I never have to follow the rules again if I don’t want to.
The mantra helps and I splash some cool water on my face.
Then, I go into my second class where I sit at a small desk and spend another hour wondering how I’m ever going to do well in a subject I have no natural affinity for while I try to forget the confrontation I had with Mav. When they start going into the meanings of the words and why the author might have used a specific phrase, I can't help but wonder why anyone would care or even why it matters. I get so caught up in my thoughts that it does make what happened today fade into the background.
When I’m released, I notice the campus library is close by. I decide to track down a copy of The Canterbury Tales as well as the Shakespeare play I need to read so that I don’t have to find a way to buy them. I glance at the campus bookstore on the way, but there’s a line out the door and the thought of standing there waiting for ages without moving makes me go straight past. I have about three bucks to my name anyway. What will I be able to buy with that? A bookmark?
In the library, I follow the signs to the Classics on the second floor and find the rows I need. I find Chaucer’s complete works quickly and give myself a mental high-five that I might not have to waste my first paycheck from Grinder on textbooks. The Shakespeare, however, is elusive and I have to walk around the section several times before I find what I’m looking for.
I kneel on the thin, industrial gray carpet to peer more closely at the bottom shelf and pull out a copy of Twelfth Night . As I do, I hear an odd slurping sound and a distinctive groan from the next row over. I freeze, squinting through the books out of curiosity and dread, not sure what I’m going to see.
There’s a girl on her knees.
‘Yeah, just like that,’ a male says, his silky voice rolling through the surrounding silence like a caress.
My eyes widen as I see thick fingers slide into her hair, and she gags as he forces her to take him deeper.
I’m transfixed. I know I should look away. I know what they’re doing because I saw Felix doing it to Harry more than once at The Heath late at night between the blanks’ patrols. I’d assumed it was something boys did with other boys, but ... I blink. I suppose it makes sense for a girl to do it to a boy, too.
She’s blonde, and her hair is long and wavy. There are tears running down her face, and I wonder if he’s hurting her, if I should do something. My heart thuds hard in my chest. Maybe I should call for someone.
I’m not sure why I look up, craning my neck, searching for the boy’s face. When I see the distinctive tattoos on the side of his neck, I realize that he’s familiar and I gasp very audibly before I can stop myself .
Blake?
His eyes snap to mine, and I can’t look away as he stares, looking momentarily shocked, then angry before it morphs again. The expression he settles on is one of smirking challenge, and it makes my skin prickle. Why does he look as if he wants to devour me ?
I grab the book I came for and get to my feet, my cheeks burning as I flee, and I’m sure I hear a laugh ring out behind me.
Thankful that I’m in my trainers ... sneakers , I high-tail it down the stairs and take out my library books at the machine, keeping an eye out behind me in case he comes after me.
Luckily, he doesn’t, and I walk briskly out and back to the house.
When I get there, I can see that some of the members are home, but when I ring the bell, no one answers.
Sighing, I wonder how long they’ll keep this up. Maybe if I ignore their antics, messing with me will lose its entertainment value.
I go around the back of the house to enter through the window like I did yesterday, but it’s closed. I huff when I can’t find any others open and I give up for the moment, sinking down onto one of the loungers close to the back door.
If I’m stuck out here, I might as well get some work done, so I crack open one of the books and begin reading.
Ten minutes later, I’m still trying to read the first page, and I have no idea what’s going on in the story. The writing is in poetry form, and I remember why I chose pretty much anything but English courses when I did my high school equivalent subjects at The Heath. Much like song lyrics, I can’t make heads or tails of any of it.
I put it down and try the Chaucer .
It’s worse.
After a few more minutes, I make myself try again, and it’s no easier. I can’t understand stuff like this. It just doesn’t go into my head properly.
‘I can’t do this,’ I murmur softly.
And then John will have me carted off to The Heath for not adhering to his edicts. Why would he set me up to fail?
Because he’s an asshole.
I shake my head a little, trying to come up with a solution. Should I try my best and persevere? Or should I leave like I was going to? John won’t expect me to disappear, not now that he’s given me ‘what I want’.
Deep in thought, I don’t notice the door open, nor that I’m no longer alone outside at first. When I do, I wish I’d been paying attention because it’s none other than Blake in front of me.
He’s watching me, and I instinctively look away as I stand up.
I don’t like him looming so far above me. He doesn’t move out of my way as I grab my things and make for the door.
‘How’d you like the show?’ he asks quietly when I’m right in front of him.
I look up at him. ‘Show?’
‘In the library. Did you think I didn’t know it was you?’ He leans closer. ‘Or maybe you’d like to be part of it next time?’
I frown. ‘I’m not much of an actor,’ I say honestly.
His barked laugh makes me step back, but he moves out of my way, and I scurry through the door, making sure I don’t touch him.
Upstairs, alone in my room, I put my books down and begin to unpick the whole interaction. I think about what he said and what I said, and I try to figure out what made him laugh.
As I straighten the papers on my desk from the pack I got yesterday and look at what hellish classes I have tomorrow, a white envelope flutters to the floor.
Remembering it from yesterday, I realize I never opened it. Turning it over, I see it’s sealed, and I rip it open, assuming it’ll be some additional information about my classes, or something equally innocuous.
Inside, there’s a small piece of paper and nothing else. I take it out and turn it over. The words are in black ink.
Your mom’s crash wasn’t an accident.
Blake
I light up and inhale deeply as I watch her run away from me, chuckling again at her comment about not being an actor. As if she’d need to be one to be convincing enough to pretend to enjoy sucking me off.
I look out over the trees, thinking about Jolie’s lips around my shaft. I do enjoy it when she surprises me, and it’s not the first time we’ve played in the library. But, fuck, I don’t think I’ve ever come so hard as when I realized Shade’s weird little sister was watching it happen. My dick begins to harden again just thinking about it, but I push thoughts of her away. She’s my best friend’s sister, and she’s clearly not that kind of girl.
Except a nasty little thought starts rolling around in my mind. Shade wants her gone. We’ve turned the frat against her already, and we’ve basically told the pledges that those meanest to her over the next few weeks are the ones who will become our brothers. There are some ground rules to follow, of course. We don’t want her really hurt, or anything. But now I’m wondering if there might be a faster way to get her out of our hair.
I could make her like me. People trust me when I want them to. I’d lull her into a false sense of security. She’d be vulnerable just like they all are. And then I could pull the rug out from under her. She’d probably beg John Novelle to send her back to her little sanctuary overseas after that, and we wouldn’t have to worry about her finding out what we’re doing. Because, right now, her up in that room is an issue waiting to happen. It’s last year all over again and the other guys getting kicked out has caused a ton of knock-on problems for us.
I mull over Daisy a little more and decide to keep my idea on the backburner for if we need a second plan. Girls are unpredictable when you hurt their feelings, and we don’t need any more fuck-ups.
My eyes narrow as I look up at the darkening sky. I’m not going back to the way things were before. I’m fucking not. I’ve worked too hard to be here. This year has to work out, and I’m not going to let everything fall apart just because we’re babysitting some dumb bitch.
I flick my cigarette toward the path where the pledges will be picking up specks of trash tomorrow and open the door to go back inside.
In the kitchen, a couple of the freshmen are cleaning up.
‘Royce. Matthews.’
‘Yes, Captain?’
I roll my eyes at the names they’re supposed to call us. I’m the Captain, Mav is the Commodore, and Shade is the Admiral. It’s all a bunch of horseshit if you ask me, but I’ll play along.
‘You saw the girl who came through? ’
‘The retard?’
My lip curls at the name Shade told them to call Daisy. I don’t like it, but I wasn’t asked about that either.
‘Yeah. Where’d she go?’
All of them have been told they need to keep tabs on her and be able to tell us exactly where she is whenever we ask.
‘To her room, Captain,’ Matthews states. ‘I followed her up there myself.’
I feel something about her being followed around by these little asshole pledges, too, but I push that shit far down, not even attempting to examine it.
At best, she’s a liability and, at worst, an enemy. I can’t afford to feel anything but animosity, and I certainly can’t give her any quarter.
‘Did you go inside her room?’
‘No, sir. The Admiral said her room is off limits.’
‘Good. Get back to your cleaning, pledge. I wanna see my reflection in that countertop tomorrow. And next time you see her ... make her cry.’
‘Yes, Captain!’
I leave them to it, rolling my eyes again as I ascend the steps to the top of the house. I go to my room across the hall from hers and I pause, listening for anything. The bathroom is empty and I can see the light from under her door.
No time like the present to start messing with her, I guess.
I rap lightly.
Nothing.
I knock a little louder, but she still doesn’t come to the door.
My eyes narrow at the knob. Should I try it?
No, that won’t help with the trust thing. Besides. I grin darkly. I don’t have to be in her room to see what she’s up to.
I flick on the light and close the door before opening my laptop. I pull up the cameras and find her room. I’m weirdly excited, wondering what she’s doing in there. A naughty little thought comes up, unbidden. Maybe she is playing with those pert nipples I saw before while she thinks about how she watched me get my dick sucked.
I let out a dry laugh. Yeah, right! She’s probably in there studying or organizing her sock drawer. She looks like the type to keep every little thing arranged to within an inch of its life.
I bring up the feed to her room and smirk. She’s sitting at the desk studying just like I thought.
She’s still dressed in that see-through shirt with the black tank top underneath, and she’s staring down at something in her hand. I squint at the screen, but the quality isn’t good enough to see what it is. Her expression looks serious. She’s not moving.
I leave the cams on her as I get up and grab my towel to go take a shower.
The water is hot, and I spend a good twenty minutes letting the jets pummel my shoulders before I get out, wrap my towel around my waist, and go back to my room. I find her still in the same spot, only now she’s staring at the wall.
What is this girl’s deal?
Taking out my phone, I message the pledges to get me a sandwich from the place down the road as I watch her. Then, I minimize the window and pull up some of the finance projection stuff I promised Shade I’d finish this week.
Some pledge named Marcosi brings me my dinner, and I eat it while I work. I’m meticulous as I go through spreadsheet after spreadsheet, making sure all the numbers tally properly. My major is in chem, but I’ve always been good with numbers, too.
It’s almost ten by the time I’m finished, and, yawning, I pull up the cameras in the rest of the house to make sure there are no problems. I see brothers and pledges shooting the shit in the games room and the other common areas. Nothing out of the ordinary.
I go to close my laptop, then hesitate. I bring up her camera again and frown. She’s still sitting in the chair. She’s still staring out into space.
Is she okay?
I get up and go to her door.
I knock again. ‘Hey, it’s Blake.’
I wince. Now, she’s definitely not going to open the door.
But I hear movement inside her room, and a few seconds later, she opens it.
‘Did you eat?’ I ask smoothly.
I know she hasn’t.
‘Yes, thank you,’ she murmurs, not really looking at me.
She’s lying. But why?
She tries to shut the door and I slide my foot into the way so she can’t close it in my face.
Is that fear I see in her eyes? It’s gone in an instant, but I’m sure it was there. Does she think I want to come in? I barely contain my smirk. But instead of saying something cutting, for some inexplicable reason I move my foot and take a step back.
‘I have half a sandwich left over if you want it,’ I say.
‘No, thanks,’ she murmurs. ‘I’m really not hungry.’
This time, I let her close the door and, with a puzzled look on my face, I head back to my room. I watch her return to the desk slowly and pick up what looks like a piece of paper. She shoves it into the top drawer and then I watch her leave the room. I hear her come into the hall and walk toward the bathroom. The door closes only to reopen a second later, and then there’s a hesitant knock on my door.
‘Blake?’ she asks.
I’m annoyed that she didn’t take me up on my offer of a sandwich, and sulkily, I almost don’t answer it. But I want to know what she wants and curiosity wins.
I crack the door and peer out at her, giving her the little playful smile the girls love. But she just blinks at me
‘I need a shower,’ she says.
‘Okay,’ I say slowly, wondering why she’s telling me.
‘Do you know if there are towels somewhere?’
Oh.
‘Yeah,’ I say, ‘I’ll show you.’
I pad down the hall and descend the stairs with her on my heels until we get to a walk-in closet halfway down. I open it up and turn on the light, showing her the neat shelves of bedsheets and towels.
‘Oh,’ she says, stepping inside with me.
So trusting.
I’m almost tempted to show her here and now why she should never let herself be alone with me, but it’s too soon. I want to get past her defenses first.
‘Do you need anything else?’ I ask in the perfect embodiment of a respectable gentleman.
She shakes her head as she looks at all the crisp piles, and I’m struck by how exhausted she looks. I almost ask her if she’s sleeping, but then she grabs two small towels and one big one and leaves the closet without a word. I stare after her.
Guess we’re done.
‘You’re welcome,’ I can’t help snarking at her back and she turns, giving me a smile that’s almost rueful.
‘Thanks.’
Shaking my head, I walk back up to my room. I hear the water running for barely two minutes before the door opens, and she’s padding quietly past my door.
I can’t help it. Despite the pretense, I’m not a decent guy. I pull up the cameras and watch her walk into her room, wrapped in a towel and carrying her clothes in one hand. I survey her as she arranges them on the desk chair and stands in front of the mirror. She takes her wet hair out of the hand towel and brushes it. It’s longer than I thought it was. And then she lets the towel fall and I get my first full look at my pretty little neighbor.
High, decent-sized tits with the kind of dusky nipples I love to pinch and pull. She has a bit of a curvy figure and an ass I want to sink my teeth into.
All bets are off, I realize then and there, and I don’t give a fuck whose sister she is. I’m going to make sure I get a taste before we kick her to the curb, and John Novelle sends her back to her little clinic across the pond with her tail between her legs ... or my cum, at least.
I grin as I watch her stare at her own naked body, a blank expression on her face. She says something to herself, but the cameras in her room are older than the other ones in the house. They aren’t great at picking up small sounds, so I can only guess what it is. Then her eyes dip, and she bends down. I curse the angle the camera is in because if it was just a foot to the right, I’d have a direct view of her cunt. She rubs her leg for a moment and then straightens, going to bed and getting in without putting any clothes on at all.
There’s a naked girl literally across the hall.
Fuck. The things I’d love to do right now and damn the consequences. I’d walk across the corridor and slip inside, get into bed with her. She’d be scared at first, but I’d have her eating out of my hand in seconds, crying out my name within minutes.
I shut the laptop when she turns off the light and let out a snort as I rub a hand over my face. I shuck my clothes and get into my own bed, closing my eyes and willing myself to sleep. But I can’t. I’m bombarded by images of those pert breasts and big nipples, of that round ass and that mound. I usually like them hairless, but the trimmed bush between her legs, shielding her pussy from my eyes, has done something to me, and all I want is to get close, press her thighs wide, and see what it’s hiding. If the rest of her is anything to go by, she’ll have a perfect-looking pussy too. I can’t wait to find out.
I stroke my dick, fisting myself to thoughts of her. I come hard and fast, and only then can I finally sleep.