Chapter 32
thirty-two
. . .
REAGAN
Everyone chuckled at me, but judging by the way Finn’s hand tightened around mine, he knew I wasn’t joking.
Lane theatrically stuck his fingers in his ears. “I didn’t hear that.”
“Stiff,” West muttered, too low for anyone but me and Finn to hear. Finn choked on a laugh, but I remained still.
So much anger coursed through me, making it difficult to focus on what was happening around me. All I could do was imagine Lainey in those moments she was being abducted, fear sending ice through my veins as though I was living through the ordeal myself.
“Where are we at on the footage from seven years ago?” Lane asked Trey suddenly.
“I managed to locate a tape from April of that year, but it didn’t have anything from the day in question. I’m close, though,” he added, flexing his fingers. “I can feel it.”
“Work faster.”
All the Lawlesses’ eyes darted to me.
“I’m going as quickly as I can,” Trey gritted out.
“You’re not doing enough!” I exploded, rising to my feet and moving to tower over him.
“She’s been gone for three months, Trey!
I don’t know why she isn’t dead yet, but the longer it takes us to find her, the lower the chances of her coming home alive.
And I will not survive if that’s the case.
Do you understand me? If she dies, I die. ”
The truth of that statement settled over the room like a thick shroud. I’d surprised even myself by how deeply I meant that. Finn or no Finn, without my sister, I could see no point in living, no reason to carry on without her.
A gentle touch found the small of my back, and I turned into Finn’s embrace instantly. He banded his arms around me as I buried my face in his chest and fell apart.
Goddesses, please grant me strength.
I was so fucking tired. Mentally and emotionally. I felt like a pendulum swinging between happy and sad, joy and rage. I wanted normalcy, to go back to a time when Lainey was home and safe.
And I wanted to be able to enjoy this budding romance with Finn without guilt hanging over my head like a guillotine.
Once I managed to collect myself, I pulled back from Finn and gave him a watery smile, brushing my fingers over the dampened front of his shirt.
He rested his forehead against mine and whispered, “I’ve got you, baby. But you have to fight. For Lainey, and for us.”
All I could do was nod.
Then Aspen piped up. “Where are we at on those journal pages, Sheriff?”
Finn helped me wipe my tears from my face before I faced his family again.
Lane appeared surprised. “How do you know about the journal?”
Aspen grinned. “You didn’t think you were the only one working this case, did you?” She rolled her eyes. “Get to know me already, big brother.”
“I’m not your brother,” Lane muttered, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“Not yet!” Aspen sing-songed.
The sheriff released a world-weary sigh and looked at me. “I’m assuming this is your doing?”
I shrugged. “I thought it couldn’t hurt to have another set of eyes on this thing.”
“And, in the interest of full disclosure,” Finn started, turning away from me to look at his brother, “West and I have also been working on it too.”
“You fucking people,” Lane said under his breath, catching a stern look from Mama.
“You love us,” West grinned.
Lane raised a hand and folded his fingers over his palm in an out with it gesture.
“We received a…tip,” Finn started, cutting his eyes to me. I appreciated the discretion. There was no fucking way Lane would approve of what they’d been doing based on a dream I’d had.
“What kind of tip? Why didn’t the department receive this ‘tip’?”
“Don’t worry about the why of it all,” Finn said, waving a dismissive hand. “The point is, West and I have been doing some aerial recon of farmhouses and land in the area where someone may be keeping Lainey.”
“And?”
“And,” West stepped in, “we’ve managed to narrow it down to several properties. It’s not much, but it’s a start.”
“Was this tip obtained illegally?” Lane asked.
“No,” Finn said quickly. “And it came from a reliable source.”
Lane raised his hands in surrender. “Fair enough. I want everything you have on my desk by the end of the day.”
“Fine.”
“Can we circle back to the journal now?” I asked.
“We’re still analyzing them,” Lane admitted. “Trying to create a timeline of the harassment by cross-checking texts she received with her journal entries.”
Aspen looked at me. “Has anything jumped out at you?”
I swallowed hard. “I, uh…I haven’t read them.”
“Why not?” Lane asked, a sharp edge to his tone that I didn’t appreciate.
Neither did Aspen. She cut him with a look that would’ve taken down lesser men. To me, she said, “It’s gotta be hard.”
All I could do was nod.
Facing my sister’s inner musings, looking at her handwriting and hearing her voice in my head as I read her words—I hadn’t been ready.
But maybe now was the time to bite the bullet.
Maybe I’d be able to tease something out of them the police hadn’t been able to.
Facing Lane again, I said, “Aspen is right. It is hard. But they could hold some key that only I can decode.”
“I doubt there’s anything there for you to find that we haven’t already, but I can get you a copy.”
I held up a hand. “Not necessary. I have my own.”
Lane raised a brow but wisely didn’t press the issue further. Smart man. I found my patience where his bureaucratic bullshit was concerned sorely lacking at the moment.
“Well then,” Lane said, rising to his feet, flipping his notebook closed and stuffing it back into his pocket. “We’ve all got our marching orders.” Glancing around the room, he looked each of us in the eye in turn. “Everything goes through me. Understood?”
I didn’t miss the way he lingered on Finn and West, as if the cowboys of the family had a tendency to go, well, a little cowboy on occasion.
Everyone, including the twins, nodded in assent.
The family dispersed shortly after, Finn leaving me with a lingering but relatively chaste kiss before he snagged a muffin and walked out the door. I watched him eat up the lawn and head down the hill toward the barn, eyes remaining on him until he was out of sight.
“Did you know?” Aspen asked. “About the twins?”
I nodded. “I went up with them once.”
“Did you…ask them to do that?”
“Of course not! I didn’t even consider the possibility.”
“But they were operating on your ‘tip,’” she guessed, and I nodded.
“I had a dream,” I admitted. “More of a nightmare, really. About the farmhouse. About Lainey chained up in the basement. I woke up screaming, and Finn came to check on me, so I told him about it.”
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Snorting, I canted my head to the side and pursed my lips in a get real expression. “C’mon, Aspen. Would you have believed me? It was a dream. Not a vision or anything kooky like that.”
Aspen shrugged, not bothering to refute me. “Obviously the twins think differently.”
Even if Finn and West weren’t dialed into the same freaky twin frequency as me and Lainey, I somehow knew Finn would’ve taken me seriously anyway.
Maybe I should’ve trusted Aspen to do the same.
“Do you have any ideas or leads?” I asked her.
Aspen shook her head. “I’ve gotten a number of tip calls thanks to your posters, but so far, nothing has panned out.” Glancing across the room, she leveled Trey with a look. “We really need that security footage from seven years ago.”
“I’m working on it.”
I rolled my eyes. “You’ve been working on it for months.”
“Do you want to try it?” Trey asked, his irritation evident. “Let’s see how far you get.”
“Knock it off,” Birdie said softly. “You’re all working so hard on this. Cut each other some slack.”
Trey rose from his seat, walked over to Birdie, pressed a kiss to her cheek, then left.
Hopefully to get back to work on that footage.
I had a task of my own to complete and headed home not long after.
As difficult as I knew it would be, being blindsided by any information that may come out about my sister as a result of those journals would be far worse.
I didn’t want any surprises, and the time had come to face them.