Chapter 15
The club had a pretty chill vibe, but I was more than ready to go. If it weren’t for Divine, I would have never even been there. I should have been home because I needed something brown to help me decompress. It could have been liquor or a woman. I didn’t have a preference. My dad’s call was disturbing in more ways than one.
What reason did he have for calling me after all these years? He thought using my mom would get me to move, but she was just as guilty as he was for how fucked up in the head I was. As far as I was concerned, both of them could kiss my ass.
My feet were tired, so I moved from my post outside of Divine and her girls’ section and plopped down on the couch. They were having the time of their lives, throwing back shot after shot and shaking their asses on each other.
I had already clocked a couple of guys who thought they were going to get access to the section. Thankfully, my presence was enough of a deterrent to keep them at bay. All I had to do was stand around looking menacing and most people knew to stay away. Those who couldn’t take a hint could be shown through action. No sooner than my ass hit the fake leather seats was the new girl sliding over next to me.
“You not having a good time?” she asked.
“I’m not here to have a good time,” I told her.
“This is a club. What other reason do you have for being here?”
I lifted my shoulders in response. “I don’t need a reason.”
“Lee Lee, take a shot with me,” Divine squealed, rushing over holding two small red cups.
“I’m not drinking tonight, D.” I shook my head.
She knew I was her designated driver. I would never play with her life like that.
“Stop being so stiff. You’re sitting over here trying to look mean when you need to be enjoying your night,” she insisted as she sat down to occupy my other side.
“That’s what I was telling him,” Divine’s homegirl mentioned, rubbing my thigh.
“Here, Lee Lee. Take a shot,” Divine insisted, shoving the cup into my hand.
“I’m your designated driver, remember?”
Divine rolled her eyes as she said, “One shot is not going to hurt your big ass.”
“How tall are you anyway?” the friend quizzed, letting her wandering hand find its way to my bicep.
“Six five,” I responded, trying not to sound annoyed.
Not that shorty wasn’t bad as hell. She was high yellow with waves of curls falling past her shoulders. She was a cute girl, and I was sure that even without the gray contacts she had nice eyes. The bra top she wore pushed her titties up like they were being served up for dinner. She had a crazy fat ass that fell from the bottom of her short shorts. I would have fucked her under any other circumstances, but she was at the very least one of Divine’s acquaintances to some capacity. Aside from the fact that I knew better than to shit where I ate, I wasn’t on that tonight.
“Wow! Do you work out?” She simpered.
“When I get a chance.”
“He’s lying, girl. This fool works out almost every single day,” Divine interrupted.
“I can really tell. You look good, Lee Lee,” Divine’s girl stated in a low and sultry tone.
“Nah, baby, that’s exclusive. Only I can call him Lee Lee,” Divine sassed.
The fire dancing behind her eyes caught me by surprise. What was that look? Before I could object, Divine was straddling my lap.
“Well, damn. My bad, girl,” the little friend said before dismissing herself.
“Divine, what are you doing?” I asked, staring her down to keep my eyes from traveling to her titties as they peeked from the low-cut black shirt she chose to wear tonight. The heat between her thick thighs met my dick and had him begging for entrance to her center.
“Just one drink, Liam. You’re so stiff. I need you to loosen up.”
She didn’t know the half.
“Get up, D. Enjoy your girls. I’m just here to make sure you’re safe and that you make it home in one piece.”
Those were the words I said out loud. In my head, I sang the theme song from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air as I fought the urge to cup her ass and tongue her down right there on that couch. She didn’t know just how bad I wanted her. She had no idea what a struggle it was to deny myself of what I knew in my heart was rightfully mine every day.
“Take the shot first,” she countered.
“Give it here. Damn,” I fussed.
She didn’t give a damn about my tone. Her cheeks rose, and her lips curved into a smile. As long as I could make her smile, I would do anything. She knew the power she had over me. She had to know. She clapped gleefully as I took the miniature plastic cup and tossed back its contents.
“See? That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
“Enjoy your girls, D. Tonight isn’t about me,” I stated.
“I’m ready to go if you are. I just need to make sure they can get home safe.”
“Cool,” I quipped, knowing I was in desperate need of a cold shower.
As Divine swung her leg over to dismount, I closed my eyes and basked in the saccharin scent of her. They could bottle that shit and make perfume for women all over the world. Divine was a walking aphrodisiac.
Once I felt her energy moving away from me, I opened my eyes and watched her hips sway. She wore jeans that hugged her ass but were loose fitting on the thigh. Her jeans had so many rips in them I thought they would fall to pieces at any moment, but so far, they were still intact. Divine was sexy as hell in anything. She could wear her jeans as loosely as she wanted to. There was no hiding that ass.
Fuck!
I cursed myself for staring long enough for her to catch me. She looked confused but smiled anyway as she sauntered back over to me.
“What?” she quizzed once she was in ear shot.
“Nothing,” I lied, shaking my head to drive it home.
“You ready? Tremaine said they’re good.”
“Sure,” I said, standing to join her.
I was grateful to get out of there. I needed some air. I could tell my girl needed to sober up after she hopped in my lap in a crowded club without a care in the world. I placed my hand on the small of her back as she led the way out of the club. Once we made it to my car, I opened the door and let her get in before moving around to the driver’s seat.
By the time I got in, she was already sticking her phone into the charging bay so she could control the music, which was fine with me. There was only one person in the world that could take over my radio. Beyonce’s voice filled the car as soon as I hit the button to crank it.
“I been drankin’. I been drankin’,” Divine sang along with the music as I pulled out of the parking lot.
I had to laugh at the way she was belting out the song and wagging her head from side to side.
“I take it you enjoyed yourself tonight,” I noted, looking over at her.
“Yes. Thank you so much for bringing me, Lee.”
“Anytime, my love.”
“You take such good care of me,” she declared.
I tore my eyes away from her cute ass and put them on the road before responding. “It’s nothing.”
Divine continued to provide the soundtrack and entertainment as we took the thirty-minute drive back to her house. She was always so happy and bubbly to the point where it was almost contagious. Her infectious joy was part of the reason I loved being around her.
I enjoyed her company in silence as I drove her home. When we made it there, I parked next to her truck. She broke the rules and got out of the car as soon as I put it in park.
“Divine, don’t do that shit!” I barked as I followed closely, making sure nothing was out of place.
“Chill, Lee Lee. You’re off duty.”
“I’m on call. Let me go in the house first,” I suggested as she unlocked the door and pushed her way inside. “You’re so damn hardheaded.” I shook my head but went about my business of making sure the place was clear.
There was never any imminent danger unless she had some punk she was messing around with. Even that didn’t last long enough to cause any friction. I made sure of that if they didn’t mess things up themselves. I promised Divine that I would keep her dating a secret, not that I would support it.
None of the dudes she chose to entertain were worth her time. I knew she was just bored and looking to blow off some steam. If she knew what I knew, she would take up a hobby instead of trying to find a good man in the sea of bullshit out there. Whatever happened to crocheting or knitting?
“You staying?” she asked, turning on her heels to look at me.
“Nah. I’m about to head out.”
“Lee, it’s two in the morning. You might as well spend the night,” she said as she took steps to close the space between us.
I took a step back as the heat from her body urged me to come closer. It didn’t matter either way because her hands were on my chest in a flash, and I was looking down into those hypnotizing, cognac-colored eyes. Frozen in place, I stared down at her, growing weaker by the second.
“You don’t have to sleep on the couch, Lee. The guest room is right down the hall.”
“I can’t hear anything back there.”
“What’s to hear?”
“Anything,” I stated.
“Well, sleep with me,” she suggested.
I coughed, choking on air and anxiety as my throat seemed to instantly constrict.
“D, you tripping. I know it’s time for you to go to bed now.” I chuckled nervously.
“Am I?” she asked, tilting her head and knitting her brows together.
“Yes, you are, and you know it. Go to bed, ma. You’re drunk.”
“I bet if I was high-booty Shawntae, you wouldn’t be saying I was tripping.”
“First of all, I don’t even know a high-booty Shawntae. Make sure you introduce us, though,” I joked.
“Yeah, you didn’t look like you knew her when she was all over you in the club either.”
Oh, that was Shawntae . I never even got her name. More importantly, where was all this hostility coming from?
“Divine, what are you on right now?” I asked, stretching my eyes.
“I’m just saying. I’ve never seen you with anyone, and even when women come on to you, you turn them down. I was thinking it was because you wanted to keep me out of your business, but now I see you have a type.”
“I don’t have a type.” I chuckled.
“Yet, you let her rub all up on you,” she countered.
Is this jealousy? It was hard to tell with women.
“Is there a point to this? If not, I’m about to head out,” I said, knowing that this conversation was headed in the wrong direction.
“Did you make plans to meet up with her tonight?” Divine asked.
“No. What are you on tonight, Divine? What’s up with you?”
“I’m stuck on the fact that every nigga in the club would have loved to be invited back to my house to spend the night. Well, every nigga in the club aside from you that is. You act like I’m invisible. I wasn’t even sure if you were into women until you damn near let her give you a hand job right in front of us.”
I laughed. “You’re exaggerating, Divine, and you know it.”
“All I know is she was rubbing all on your dick, and you let her.”
“Woman, the girl had her hand on my thigh.”
“Yeah, and I felt how hard your dick was after she rubbed all over you.”
That had nothing to do with her. Instead of saying that, I shook my head. I knew I needed to go home before either of us said or did something crazy.
“What is happening right now? You’re confusing me.”
“Tell me you don’t want to fuck me, Liam,” Divine demanded.
My brows hiked at the pivot in conversation. “W-what?”
Divine didn’t answer as she silently shed the little black shirt she was wearing and tossed it across the room.
“D, what you doing, man? Stop that,” I ordered as she fumbled with the button of her jeans.
“You never been around a naked woman?” she asked as her pants pooled around her ankles.
“You know I have. Just chill, all right? I wasn’t into her like that. You know I was only there for you.”
I felt and sounded like a simp trying to explain myself to her. Divine never broke eye contact with me as she stepped out of her jeans.
“Yet, you were entertaining her . I had to step in to keep her from pulling your dick out and sucking it right then and there.”
I sighed and shook my head. I knew that the alcohol was doing the talking right now. Divine had never come at me this way. She had me feeling like I had cheated on her. The girl was just flirting with me. Divine wasn’t even my girl. It seemed like both of us had forgotten that major detail. I had done nothing wrong. How could I when Divine and I weren’t together? I even turned the girl down. I didn’t have to do that. I was very single.
“Chill,” I told her.
“You never answered my question, Liam. You’re straight, aren’t you? It’s not an issue if you aren’t. I’m just curious at this point.”
“Don’t play like that,” I warned her.
I was considering putting something in that pretty mouth of hers to shut her up. It was becoming harder to compose myself. My feet had to be glued to the floor because no matter how loud my brain was yelling at me to go, I was still in the same spot.
“I’m just asking,” she said, pushing her hands under my shirt until her palms rested on my chest. “Fuck me, Liam.”
“Divine, stop it!” I barked, grabbing her wrists and removing her hands from under my shirt.
“Why?”
Her eyes misted with tears, immediately making me regret yelling at her. I couldn’t explain what I was feeling, but I knew if it weren’t for the multitude of shots she had taken, Divine would have never asked me to fuck her.
Spending the night with her in this state didn’t feel right. I knew that she was in her feelings thinking that I was shunning her for her friend. Nothing could be further from the truth. From the minute I set my eyes on her, no woman seemed to be enough. No one could measure up to Divine in my eyes. Her drunken rage was just alcohol-induced foolishness. I was certain she wouldn’t even remember this in the morning. Waking up naked next to me would ruin our dynamic. I would rather turn her down tonight than to lose her forever.
“Get some rest, Divine,” I said, hoping that my tone was softer this time. I didn’t do soft. I just needed her to listen to me.
She rolled her eyes and reached behind her back. As she pushed the straps of her bra down her shoulders I realized she had unclasped it. My eyes fell to her nipples, and I swallowed as her areolas, the same shade as her beautiful eyes, made my mouth water. There was no way I wanted her this bad.
Taking me by the hand, she turned her back to me. My own eyes seemed to water as I watched her plump ass bounce with every step she took toward her bedroom. The way her ass swallowed up the thong that disappeared between her cheeks made me shake my head. I stopped in my tracks, and she turned to face me.
“Stop!” I snatched my hand away, finally regaining my composure.
“Just come lay with me, Lee.” She pouted. “I promise I’ll behave.”
“I’m not doing that, Divine. You’ve been drinking, love. You’re not thinking straight,” I reminded her.
“It’s crazy how you say that instead of admitting that you just don’t want me. You’ve known me all this time, and you barely look my way. I don’t know what the hell is wrong with me that I only attract fucking losers, but clearly, you’ve figured it all out.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you, Divine. You just pick the wrong guys.”
“So, does that include you? Are you wrong for me too?” she asked, taking my hand and sliding it down her stomach.
The softness of her silky skin felt good against my fingertips. I wasn’t strong enough to resist her as she guided my hand down into the front of her panties. I stared her down as my fingers met the baldness of her plump pussy. My jaw flexed as her slippery wetness saturated my fingers. She pushed her hips forward, grinding her swollen bud against my fingers. Pre-cum leaked from my dick as it became painfully hard in my briefs. This girl was my weakness, and she knew it.
We didn’t break eye contact as she held my hand in place, using the motion from her hips to create friction. I studied her gorgeous face as it contorted into something tragically beautiful. In my head, I was screaming, begging myself to stop her or run…whichever was easier. She removed one of her hands from mine and shoved the strings on her waist down over her ass. Biting down on her lip, she increased the pace of her movement against my fingers.
“Shit,” she hissed, lifting her eyes back to mine. When her mouth went slack, I almost lost it. “Spend the night with me, Liam.”
“Stop!” I shouted. Her eyes ballooned, and I turned on my heels, knowing that if I didn’t leave now, I was going to do something I might regret. “You’re drunk, ma. I need you to go in there and sleep this shit off.”
Before I could change my mind, I headed for the door.
“Well, just lay there and hold me, Lee. I promise I won’t push for anything else if you don’t want to.”
I stopped in my tracks but didn’t turn back to face her. “I can’t do that, Divine. Just go to bed. Tomorrow you probably won’t even remember this.”
“But I will. You already know how hard it is for me to try to find someone with my family threatening and scaring everyone away. Then when I do meet someone that I think is worth my time, it’s always just another jerk. I haven’t had sex in months. It’s so frustrating, but I understand that you don’t want that. We don’t have to do anything, OK? Just hold me tonight. We never have to speak on it again.”
My shoulders dropped as an audible sigh escaped me. Before the air left my lungs, I could already feel my disposition shifting. When had I ever been able to tell her no?
“Divine, you aren’t even going to remember this in the morning,” I repeated.
“Well, what’s the harm? Just spend the night, Liam. I’m tired of sleeping alone. Do you know how lonely this shit is?”
My head fell to the side as I considered her words. I didn’t want her to call up one of her fuck boys and have them to come over out of desperation and loneliness, but I knew that I was already toeing a fine line by being here at this point. If she asked me again, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from giving her everything she thought she needed and more.
“I’ll sleep on the couch,” I offered.
“The one in my room?” she pled, clasping her hands together. “Please? You know I’m used to having a house full of people. Living alone gets so lonely.”
“So, you really wanted to fuck me as a ‘I’m feeling sorry for myself tonight’ thing?” I quizzed.
“I don’t know.” She shrugged.
I shook my head. “Figures.”
“You already agreed to stay. You can’t back out.”
“Didn’t say I was.”
“Come on. You can watch whatever you want,” she said, seemingly satisfied with the outcome.
“Go ahead. I need to use the bathroom first,” I said, picking up her clothes as I trailed behind her.
“Don’t try to sneak out. Use the one in my room.”
I simply chuckled. She was too much for words sometimes. Divine was spoiled long before I encountered her, and I was doing everything in my power to keep it that way. I loved that not just anyone could access her. Her standards were high, but tonight, she seemed to lower them to set her sights on me.
I couldn’t do anything that would jeopardize what we had. Divine meant everything to me. As much as I loved her, I was strong enough to know that I would rather love her from afar than to lose her as a friend or hurt her due to not knowing how to show her the love she deserved.
Tomorrow this would all be a blur for her, but as I stepped into the bathroom with her panties dangling from the same fingertips that were still saturated with her juices, I knew it was a night that I would never forget. I locked the door before walking over and turning on the sink. With my back to the mirror and my eyes on the door I envisioned the caramel skinned beauty on the other side. Visions of her face as she almost made herself cum on my fingers made my dick throb.
I leaned against the counter, unbuttoning my jeans as I fisted the head of my dick. I wrapped her laced panties around my length and used them to stroke my dick. I switched hands, sticking my fingers in my mouth and tasting her sweetness, letting it coat my tongue as cum oozed from my dick and seeped down onto the fabric of her panties. I was so open for her that it was sickening.
There had to be a name for the ailment that made me crave and obsess over Divine the way I did. For a long time, I was able to play my position and stand in my assigned place in the background. One day, something shifted, and I’ve never been the same. I think it was the fact that she noticed me and genuinely wanted to know more about me. She broke through the armor I put around my heart with one smile.
My chest rose and fell slowly as I closed my eyes and relished the feeling, wishing that my dick was wedged between her slick walls. Once I regained my composure, I wadded up her panties and shoved them in my pocket. Turning to the sink, I washed my hands and splashed some water on my face. Just for tonight, I would hold her. Tomorrow, we could forget the whole thing.
When I stepped out of the bathroom, she was sprawled out in bed with her mouth wide open. Soft snores filled the room, indicating that she was asleep. I chuckled to myself as I walked over and covered her with the comforter. I kissed her forehead. My eyes fell to her lips, but I resisted the urge to put mine on hers.
We had already crossed the line. I needed to back pedal. Since she was asleep, I went back to the original plan, grabbing the throw blanket from the foot of her bed as I headed over to the couch. A sigh of exasperation left me as I settled in and covered myself with the blanket. This woman was going to be the death of me. At this point, I was sure that when the time came, I wouldn’t regret it.