18. Doc
“ G ive me your phone,” James orders, holding his hand out to Soren. The younger man hands the device over, a wary look on his face. “I’m not waiting for you,” James explains. “Now you won’t get lost.” He hands Soren’s phone back and stalks down the steps to the waiting car.
“I’ll see you soon,” I tell Soren.
“Why does it seem like he wants me to get lost?”
I laugh a little. “That’s just James. He’s a good guy, but all the Rossis are a little rough around the edges.”
Soren snorts. “Right, whatever you say. I’ll be right behind you.”
I nod and head down the steps, ignoring the eyes burning into my back as I head to the car. James holds the door open and gives me a wry grin before I slip into the backseat.
“You’re not cute,” I tell him. He laughs even as he shuts the door after me.
Once we’re on the road home, James speaks up. “You okay? You were tense at the house, and I didn’t have to drag you out of the office.”
Letting out a long sigh, I lean my head against the window and close my eyes. “He called me Dr. Wescott . Teased me about my name a little… It…triggered me a bit.”
I keep my eyes closed so I don’t have to meet his in the rearview mirror. “Ash…”
“I’m fine ,” I stress. “That’s why he’s going home with us, we’re going to talk about some things. Not about who I was, but to lay some ground rules for this…thing we’re doing.”
“What you’re looking for, that takes a certain level of trust?—”
“No,” I cut James off. “Trusting him to put me on my knees and bend me to his will is one thing, but trusting him with that is another.”
“I know. I didn’t mean right away, Ash. But you can’t tell me you haven’t thought about the future, should this ‘thing’ go that far.”
Sighing, I open my eyes and straighten in my seat. Removing the scalpel hidden in my sleeve, I twirl it between my fingers as I gather my thoughts. “I have, and the truth is, I don’t know. I want to say hell no, that this,” I gesture up and down my body, despite the fact he can’t see since he’s driving, “is who I am. Who I was born as doesn’t matter, and that’s true enough in a sense. But…I think any partner worth it would be someone I want to share everything with.”
“You know you don’t owe anyone anything, right? Not even me.”
“I know. It’s why I told you my name. It’s why I let you call me that horrid nickname. You get it, you and Cristian, and maybe Hollis, are the only ones who ever have.”
The thing is, I want to be able to trust someone that deeply, to give them not only my present and future, but my past as well. I just don’t know if Soren is that person.
Once home, I leave James to wait for Soren while I check in on Enzo. His second surgery is in a few days and he’s been in a foul mood ever since. I’d feel bad for Kail, except I know my assistant can handle himself. Kail might look sweet and have a better bedside manner than I do, but he also grew up in this life. His father and brothers made sure he’s no pushover. I assigned him to Enzo because I knew the bodyguard would need the reality check Kail can so easily give him, even when Enzo is being particularly caustic.
“How you doing today?” I ask as I look over the notes made by both Kail and Jayden.
“Alive,” is Enzo’s terse reply.
Looking up at him, I study his face for a long moment, noting how his mouth seems to have set into a permanent hard line and the crow’s feet at the corner of his eyes seem deeper.
“Have you spoken to the therapist?”
Golden brown eyes that appear duller than they did just days ago look away from mine. “Sure have.”
Setting the file down, I move to sit next to him on the bed. “Don’t lie to me, Enzo. I know you better than that.”
“Do you?”
I give him a hard stare, letting him know that yes, I do. It might have been over twenty years since he’s been on my guard rotation, but that year we spent together bonded us in ways not so easily broken.
Before my previous guard, before James, before Roman’s birth, Enzo was my bodyguard that first year. We didn’t mesh as well as James and I do, which is why Cristian put Enzo on Roman’s guard when he was born.
That doesn’t mean we stopped being friends. This life can be isolating, so you latch onto any sort of bond and sign of friendship that you can. The Family really is a family at the end of the day. So, as much as he wants to pretend I don’t, I know him too well.
“Have you seen Benji?”
He shakes his head. “He’s come by, but I haven’t seen him.” I smack him across the side of the head. “What the fuck, Doc?! You crazy ass.”
I don’t respond. Instead, I pull my phone out of my pocket and jump up off the bed when Enzo tries to reach for it.
“Doc, don’t!”
“Too late,” I reply, focusing on the message I’m typing out.
“Fucking tattletale.”
“Più problemi di quanto vali,” I mutter under my breath.
“I don’t think you’re allowed to talk to me like that,” Enzo bitches.
I give him a withering look, but I’m distracted by my phone vibrating. Looking at the screen, I can’t contain the evil smile curling at my lips.
DOC
You need to come put the fear of God into Enzo. He’s being…difficult.
THE BOSS
How bad?
DOC
He’s refusing to see Benji.
THE BOSS
I’ll be there tomorrow.
Meeting Enzo’s glower, I smirk. “You’re in trouble,” I sing-song.
“ Fuck you ,” he spits. “I want to go home.”
“Too bad. The Boss is coming to check up on you tomorrow, I’m sure he’ll agree you can’t be trusted on your own.”
“You fucking asshole,” he growls. “You can’t run to him every time you don’t get your way, you prick.”
I wiggle my phone as proof as I say, “And yet…”
“I hate you.”
I shrug and put my phone away. “Fine by me. You don’t have to like me in order for me to get you healthy.”
Enzo huffs and maneuvers himself so he’s lying in the bed, arms crossed over his chest as he glares down at his lap. Moving closer, I rest a hand on his shoulder. “It’s for your own good, Enzo. I’m not doing any of this to be a dick.”
His body tenses under my touch before relaxing. “I know,” he replies. “But you understand how emasculating this is, right? I’m used to being someone reliable who stands on my own two feet. It’s…humiliating knowing I need so much help. That it’ll be even longer now before I can start to learn to fucking walk again, thanks to the second surgery. I don’t want anyone to see me that way.
“My position means I had a certain image to uphold. After Joel and Gabriele, I was the highest ranked bodyguard in the organization. This is… It’s a hard pill to swallow.”
“I know. I’m sorry, I don’t want to make this harder for you, but I’m not going to allow you to hurt yourself unnecessarily. So, Cristian will be here tomorrow to kick your ass. I’m sure Benji will follow. After that, talk to the therapist. He was vetted by both Hollis and Carter. Nothing you tell him will shock him; let him help you.”
“Okay.” He nods his head and lets out a long sigh. “I’m sorry for being such a dick.”
“I won’t accept it because I know you well enough to know it won’t be the last time.”
He laughs. “Asshole.”
“So you’ve said.” I squeeze his shoulder. “You good?”
Enzo meets my eyes. “Yeah, I’m okay. Thanks.”
“Any time. You sure you’re okay?”
“Yeah, I am, promise.”
“Good. Text me if you need anything, okay?”
“Sure, I will. Now go, I’m sick of your face.”
Laughing, I give his shoulder one more squeeze before letting him go and leaving the room. Kail is waiting just outside and I give him a small smile.
“You’re doing good. Let me know if either of you need anything.”
“Thanks. And sure. James told me about your guest, so don’t worry about us tonight; I’ve got it under control.”
“Yes, you do. I’ll come see you in the morning before I leave, okay?”
“Sure, have a good time tonight.”
I smile. “I plan to.”
Kail goes to check on Enzo, and I go in search of my guest .