4. Dodge #2
I crack my neck, watching for another moment while Autumn plays with Winnie on the floor. “I’m still peeved that my business was spread to an outsider like that.”
Gage sighs. The weight of the club is on his shoulders now that his father has retired. “Yeah, I get that. But Tink meant well, and Razer wouldn’t have given her the address if he didn’t feel the same.”
“Still. They don’t need to be talking about me or my kid, ya feel?”
I don’t need to see him to know he’s holding back an eye roll.
“In the end, Winnie being taken care of is all that matters. Plus, if she’s reliable, we can catch up,” Gage says, trying to pacify me.
I grit my teeth, annoyed we’ve fallen so behind to begin with.
I know if the garage was slow, Gage would be home with his newborn, even if he can’t sit still for long.
Better him here than Shaw, though. And Mikayla only needs one of them hovering around her all day.
“I have trouble suspecting she’s harmless.
So much shit has gone wrong, it’s hard to believe she came out of nowhere, and she’s perfect, you know? ”
Gage sighs again, moving over to grab a tool near me and claps a hand on my shoulder.
“I get ya, brother. But at the end of the day, we have to start trusting again. I didn’t think I’d be good enough for Mik, and hell, half the time, I still don’t.
But I got her, and we got Dillion now, and our life…
it’s fucking beautiful. Your cousin’s sins are not on you. ”
I work my jaw back and forth, trying not to get upset by his words.
We live two different lives. I knocked up a clubwhore that I shouldn’t have fucked so carelessly.
He got the woman he’s always pined after, and even though they have to live some of their relationship in secret, it’s still everything he’s ever wanted.
I grunt, pushing my jealousy aside. “I know, but you ever get the feeling that you’re waiting for the other shoe to drop? I can’t stop the pit in my stomach.”
“Have you tried taking a shit?” Steel says. I’d forgotten the prospect was even there. He has a hell of a way of being quiet when he wants to .
I toss a bolt over to him. “Shut the fuck up.”
Gage chuckles. “You’d know what we’re talking about if you ever took anything seriously besides getting your dick wet.”
He snorts. “Yeah? And have a couple of kids like you two? Nah, no thanks. I’d rather castrate myself.”
I shake my head. The prospect is still young, fresh out of high school, so I can’t blame him for his cocky attitude.
“You still got a whole life ahead of you. You shouldn’t be thinking about kids and all that. God, if I had a kid at your age, I probably would have shit myself,” I tell him.
Gage laughs. “Both of us, man. We would have had no business raising babies when we were getting plastered every night.”
A smile pulls at my lips. “I don’t miss waking up with a hangover though. I feel old as shit just saying that.”
Steel groans. “Man, I wish I was a part of the club during all the glory days. The men say it’s boring as shit now.”
The tension in the air turns a little somber, and I know he means no harm. I clear my throat. “We lost a lot of good men doing the stupid shit we were involved in. Lots of friends who should still be here because we were running things we shouldn’t have. Money isn’t worth it.”
Gage grunts in agreement. “Nothing glorious about it. We barely lost any income going legit, not with the businesses doing so well, but all I can think about is all the guys we were raised with, and none of them are around. We might be boring, but you still got pussy and beer on tap, what do you have to complain about?”
Steel ducks his head. “Nothing, I was just saying.”
I exchange a glance with my prez, and shrug. He’s a young kid that put his foot in his mouth, but he should learn to hold his tongue. Especially as a prospect that hasn’t been patched in yet.
“Go clean the restrooms,” Gage says.
If Gage wants to give him a shit job for mouthing off, I’m not going to speak up for the kid.
Steel grumbles, but stomps over to do the task without any more complaints.
I snort when he’s out of sight. “You know we were just as much punks back then?”
Gage shakes his head. “We were worse because we didn’t have a council that cared what trouble we caused, and access to way too many guns and drugs.”
His words bring a grimace to my face. I barely remember those days sometimes. We’re damn lucky we never got caught by the feds, and we’re lucky that we got a few solid members that squared us away so we could go legit. “You and Shaw made the right choice.”
He doesn’t respond, but he doesn’t have to. Most of the time, Gage and I are on the same wavelength. Another reason he didn’t blink an eye at my cameras, because he’s done the same to his house.
Winnie’s squeal of delight makes my heart flutter when I walk in.
“Someone is either happy to see Daddy or understands the joys of pizza,” Autumn says.
I flash an amused smile at her, my fingers flexing on the pizza box I brought for dinner. “Maybe a little of both,” I tease back. It’s a struggle to control the way my cock jumps at the word Daddy falling from her mouth again .
Autumn winks at me and grabs Winnie’s hand to help her stand.
“Come on, Win. Let’s walk over, sweet girl.
” My daughter grips onto Autumn while she focuses on me and taking steps.
I smile, watching in awe as the closer they get, the more Autumn loosens her hold.
I know Winnie has been close to walking for a couple of weeks now, but by the time I usually get home, we only have time for a bath and then bedtime.
“I wasn’t sure what you wanted, so I got half cheese and half pepperoni,” I tell her when they’re close, and I sit on the chair for Winnie to grab onto my knees. “I’ll usually pick her up when I’ve showered.”
Autumn nods. “You can grab one now if you want.”
My stomach grumbles on cue. “I’m starving, but if you can stay until after, that’d be great.” I frown, remembering our conversation from this morning. “Did you call over to the motel? Did they keep your room? I forgot to give them a call, but we can talk to them after.”
Her cheeks flush. “Uh, no. I didn’t call. It’s okay. I’ll figure it out.”
“It’s the cheapest place around.”
Autumn lifts Winnie, setting her in the highchair tucked in the corner, ignoring my question .
I cross my arms, leaning back to watch her as she takes a piece to cut up for Winnie.
“Autumn, do you need a place to stay? We have an extra room. Or I can give you an advance, but it’s not going to get you very far.
” I can’t take back the offer that slips from my mouth, and I don’t know if I want to.
I’m not so dumb; I know it’s probably not the best idea to have the temptation of her so near.
She sighs. “I—like an extra room here? In the apartment?” Her teeth dig into her bottom lip, highlighting how plump it is. A perfect shade of pink.
I nod. “I also have a room at the clubhouse you could use, but uh, there’s not much privacy there.”
“Oh, I don’t know?—”
“But it’s probably easier to stay here since you don’t have to travel.”
Her throat bobs. “Uhm. It’s okay, really.”
“I don’t mind. The room sits empty.” I’m pushing it, but her refusal isn’t making sense to me, especially if she’s already out of money after only two nights.
“You don’t mind? ”
I shake my head. It’s crazy I even offered, but Autumn has done nothing to make me feel she’s untrustworthy.
Watching her take care of my daughter all day has calmed my nerves.
My tongue drags along my lips. I’m suddenly unable to hold back a surge of protectiveness.
Maybe as a last hail mary, so my sexy nanny won’t stay with me.
“I don’t like to threaten women, but all I care about is Winnie. If you harm her?—”
She waves a hand. “I’m not offended. It makes my job easier knowing she has a good parent who loves her. You guys have already done so much, I don’t want to take advantage.”
I snort, hating the way my heart seems to stumble for a second as I stare at the woman who just burst into our lives. Winnie loves her, and hell, I think I want her even more now. Most people would be put off by me and my threats. She could take a little more advantage of me if she liked.
“Good, then it’s settled? You’ll stay here?”
Her jaw flickers as if she’s clenching? her teeth, and she glances between Winnie and me. “If you don’t care?”
I shake my head again. “The room is yours. ”
She smiles, settling in her chair. “Thank you. It really helps.”
Her bag that she dropped by the door is still there, and I glance at its unimpressive size. Is her whole life really packed away in it?
“You need to grab anything else?”
With a blush that tells me she’s about to lie, Autumn shakes her head. “No, I should be good.”
I narrow my eyes. “How about after we eat we do some shopping? Consider it a sign-on bonus.”
Her face flushes deeper. “I’m good, really.”
“Not to be a dick, but how can I trust you to take care of my kid if you don’t even want to take care of yourself?
” I don’t want to hurt her feelings, but I barely know the woman, and I can already tell she’s stubborn as a bull.
Hell, I might even admire it. It makes me want to take care of her more.
“I’m trying.” I can barely hear the soft whisper. It tugs at my heart, but before I can reply, she sits up a little, tucking her long blonde hair behind her ear with a forced smile. “I guess when you put it that way. ”
“Nah, that was a dick thing to say. I’m sorry,” I tell her, hating the pinched look on her face. I can’t tell if she believes me or not.
I sigh, rubbing a hand down my face. “I am sorry, I mean it. I’m used to the women in the club. We can’t mince words or they’d get the wrong idea.”
Autumn frowns. “The wrong idea?”
I grimace, my lungs squeezing tight, warning me to shut up because I’ll make myself look like a bigger ass. “That we want them for more than…you know.”
“Their bodies?” she offers, and my lips quirk when she rolls her eyes. That’s a nice way to put it, but at least she seems to know I’m not trying to offend anyone. I’m just a stupid motherfucker that apparently can’t talk right to a woman he might want for more than a night.
“Yeah. Though, that doesn't sound any better.”
Autumn shakes her head. “It does not, but I think I get what you’re saying. Apology accepted.” Her lips pull back into a soft smile. It doesn’t do anything to ease the discomfort that I’ve tainted her view of me, and for the first time in my life, I care what someone thinks of me.
“I gotta brush up on my conversation skills now that I have someone over the age of one to talk with,” I say.
Autumn slaps her hand over her mouth, stifling her loud laugh. It sets Winnie off with an excited squeal, and I turn to her, smiling. “No offense, baby girl. Daddy still loves you.”
When I look back at Autumn, the warmth in her eyes stirs something in my chest that I thought I’d long since buried, and for some reason, that doesn’t bother me.