Chapter 16
“Please, you have to do this for me. I’ll owe you one … whatever you want. I’ll offer Scout a job, make her an offer she can’t refuse so she’ll have no choice but to move back.” I snap my fingers as another idea hits me. “Oh, I know. I’ll hire you in the same department and make you partners so she can’t escape you.”
Luka narrows his eyes at me before swinging his axe down, splitting a piece of firewood in half. “I don’t get it, dude. Why are you over here, trying to bribe me into swapping tents? You’re the only one out here getting laid …”
“And offering a helping hand so you can do the same,” I say, still hoping to convince him.
He shakes his head. “I appreciate the offer, but last I heard, she’s happy—engaged, I think—so I’m afraid my chances with her are long gone by now.” He places his hands on his hips and shrugs. “You can always try to bribe Guy; I’m sure there’s a favor he’d like to cash in. Not sure how desperate you are to avoid sleeping next to your fiancée …”
“It’s not like that. I told you, I sleep hot. I don’t want to sweat her out in that tiny child-size tent—why was that the one you grabbed? I know we have more to choose from in storage.”
He swings his axe again with a thud and stops to wipe the sweat from his brow. “It was on top. You didn’t exactly give us much notice to pack?—”
“Because you weren’t invited! I showed up to get tents, and everyone just decided to tag along and invade our private camping trip like some kind of fucking Christmas Vacation bullshit,” I snap.
“Now, Leo, we both know you wanted us to come along, so cut the shit. You always loved family camping trips growing up. I think the only time I’ve ever seen you genuinely happy was when you were out here, and it’s certainly the only time I’ve ever seen you come even remotely close to being relaxed. Forgive us for wanting to spend time together without you and Dad hijacking the entire conversation and making it about work.”
I bend to start stacking the wood into a pile, not wanting to look him in the eye. “I don’t hog the conversation. I just don’t always have Dad’s attention at work, so when I get the opportunity to discuss things and he’s listening, I guess I just take it.”
He places a hand on my shoulder tenderly. “I appreciate your honesty, bro … but you’re not getting my tent. If you’re so worried about getting too hot, maybe you should sleep nude. That’s what I’m planning on doing. Makes me feel dangerous and uninhibited.” He winks, and I brush his hand off.
“Fuck you, man. Don’t ask me for any favors because I’m going to remember this.” I point at him as I walk away.
“Hey, aren’t you going to help me carry all this firewood?” he calls, but I just give him the middle finger and stomp off.
“Real mature, Leo. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’re afraid of being alone with your fiancée. Tell her my tent’s always open if she needs someone with a little more stamina and youth on his side.”
Fucking idiots. They all are.
I kick at a rotting tree log, sending slivers of wood flying as I stomp through the thick, wooded forest, trying to blow off some steam.
Of course, Guy and Roman both had similar reasons to say no. Luka was my last hope, and as the most reasonable of all my brothers, I was really counting on him to throw me a fucking bone, but alas, I came off too desperate.
This is bullshit. I’m just going to have to pull it together and power through the night with my tempting-as-fuck fiancée.
A thin sheen of sweat beads at my brow as I weave through the dense, rows of trees. I should get back to camp, make sure Ivy isn’t getting into trouble, but I need to clear my head, and the best place I know to do that is the falls.
When I was younger, I was obsessed with all things outdoors. It’s not surprising. Anyone growing up in Ashford Falls shares the same sentiment. It feels like holy land out here, both frightening and reverent at the same time. We have a healthy respect for these woods, and the falls are no different.
I can hear the pure power of the water flowing as I approach, and my nervous system immediately begins to calm. As far as danger goes, this one lies somewhere in the middle. It’s nothing as powerful as the biggest waterfall, the one our town is known for, but depending on the water levels, it’s dangerous all the same.
For decades, this has been the place for teenagers to gather. We’d come here for everything from graduation parties to first dates, everyone sharing in the thrill of jumping to the ice-cold water below.
The memory feels like a warm blanket, bringing me back to a time before I felt the weight of the world on my shoulders, before I knew the pain of mistakes and the heavy price of penance that comes along with it.
What I would give for another taste of that freedom, to be young and carefree with no ties, no responsibilities weighing me down, driven only by my desires and interests. A strangled laugh bubbles out of me, and I shake my head. Basically, I dream of being like Ivy.
Maybe that’s why I’m so protective of her freedom—because I see that one wrong decision can take it all away in the blink of an eye. I’ll do everything in my power to preserve that because, fuck, if I can’t have it, then I’m so happy she can. I’m happy to survive off the warmth radiating from her even if it’s only temporary.
I wind behind the small cliff, following the beaten path until I’m at the very top of the waterfall. Cupping my hand over my eyes, I scan the clear blue pool of water beneath me, framed with dense green hemlock trees that are just beginning to fade to orange.
“How’d you find me? Do you have some kind of tracker on me I don’t know about?” Ivy holds out her arms and does a little spin as she looks down.
My eyes land on the small wooden box she’s holding. It looks vaguely familiar. I think she was carrying it the first night we met.
I start to ask her what’s in the box, but when she kicks off her shoes and unties the flannel from around her waist, I freeze.
“I was just about to go for a swim. Care to join me?”
She places the box on a rock and quickly covers it with her flannel. Then, to my shock, she pulls the strap of her adult onesie off her shoulder. The tight fabric clings to her like a wetsuit as she rolls the material down, revealing a thin, strapless bra.
My brain short-circuits at the sight of her exposed tan shoulders, my eyes catching on the curve of her collarbone and the shallow divot between her perky breasts. Fuck, I’ve never wanted to touch someone so badly, to run my palm over her supple skin, to explore every curve and freckle.
I tear my eyes away, blinking several times, and hold my hand out in a pathetic attempt to block her from my view. “What … what are you doing? Stop taking off your clothes. We’re in public. Anyone could see you.”
She makes a show of looking around. “Yeah? Maybe I want them to watch?” She pulls the bodysuit down around her ass, then carefully steps out of it.
I swallow thickly.
“Relax. I just don’t want to get my clothes wet. Your chastity is safe with me. No need to freak out.”
When she turns to add her clothes to the pile, I catch a glimpse of that sweet, round ass, covered in a small triangle of fabric that gets bunched between her cheeks. My dick grows hard at the sight of it, and my palms itch to touch her.
She reaches behind her head and begins to braid her long hair, all while keeping her eyes trained on me, like she knows I’m teetering on the edge of my last ounce of self-control.
“Can I ask you a question?”
I watch her through my lust-filled haze, unable to tear my eyes from her breathtaking body. It’s what dreams are made of, truly. The perfect balance of soft flesh and sculpted muscle. She’s so petite compared to me, and I have the sudden urge to wrap my hands around her hips to show her all the things I fantasize about doing to her.
“Sure,” is all I can manage.
“Why won’t you let yourself have me? It’s like you’re punishing yourself or something.” She pulls the hair tie from her wrist and secures it on the end of her braid, then moves toward me. “I see the way you look at me. That fire burning behind your eyes. The glances you sneak when you think no one is looking.”
She places a hand on my chest, over my rapidly beating heart, and I grit my teeth.
“You want me, Leo. And I want you too. So, why are we pretending like we don’t? Why do you feel like you always need to be in control when all I want is for you to let loose and show me the real you?”
She trails her hand down my abs until she reaches the hem of my T-shirt.
“Ivy,” I warn, but she doesn’t relent as she moves her hand over my rib cage and back down, like she’s trying to memorize my form with her hands.
“I know you think I’m too young, but I’m a big girl. I know what I’m getting myself into, and I’m not afraid of you.”
She traces her thumb lightly over my nipple, and I grip her wrist to stop her.
“You have no idea what you’re asking. I’m … I’m all wrong for you, and the sooner you realize it, the better.”
A mischievous smile stretches across her face. “I think you’ll find that I can be pretty stubborn when it comes to getting what I want. I don’t like to be told no.”
This makes me laugh because it’s not exactly a secret. Ivy wears it proudly all over her face, the way she moves through the world with her golden eyes and confidence, so charismatic and playful. I feel like no isn’t a word she hears very often. It would take someone made of steel to tell this woman no.
“I … I can’t …” I force the words out of my mouth, and they feel unnatural, like lies that have my insides twisted into knots. I take a step back, putting some much-needed space between us.
Ivy just pouts and shrugs. “Well, it was worth a shot.” She spins around, giving me a wink over her shoulder. “It’s your loss, Leo.” Then, she takes off into a run, cannonballing off the side of the waterfall, squealing the whole way down.
My heart races in my chest as I rush to look over the edge just as her head pops above the water.
“Come on. Take the leap and join me. Unless you’re too chicken,” she calls from the clear blue pool of water.
Call it a momentary lapse of judgment or self-sabotage to the millionth degree, but for one split second, I want to feel that rush again. I want to shed this heavy armor and free fall, trusting that everything will be okay when I land in the deep, cool water beneath.
I shake my head as a million thoughts bombard me, but before I realize what I’m doing, I’m stripping off my clothes.
Here goes nothing.
I jump from the cliff and plummet toward the bottom, my body twisted and thrown from the force. I land with a cold splash, and it’s as if I were being recalibrated, baptized in the freedom of the moment. When I push to the surface, I find Ivy staring at me in misbelief, her blonde hair slicked back from her face, wearing a smile that could bring anyone to their knees.
Fuck, she’s pretty, and the sight of her nearly knocks the air from my lungs.
But my attraction to her is so much more than surface level; it’s her essence that draws me to her like a moth to a flame. She’s magnetic in every sense of the word and embodies all the qualities that I don’t.
She’s warm, excited about the future, optimistic, and she lives every day in the moment. She’s not afraid to be herself even if it means she’ll be judged for it. She’s pure sunshine in human form, warming everyone lucky enough to cross her path. And I’m the rainstorm that ruins the last day of your beach vacation.
I’ve come to accept my role; we can’t all be the life of the party. Some of us have to create safety nets and boundaries. Some of us are here to provide the structure so others can enjoy their sunny days to the fullest. But I’d be lying if I said I didn’t wish I could be both, have both. I know it’s selfish, but right now, I don’t care. Right now, I want to pretend that I could actually be worthy of this incredible woman.
Ivy doggy-paddles toward me and splashes me in the face. “What the hell was that?”
I wipe the water from my eyes and brush my thick strands back, feeling a smile cover my own face. “What was what?” I ask, splashing her back.
“You just jumped … like you’ve done it a thousand times.”
She moves toward me, and I grab her waist, unable to keep myself from touching her, as if it doesn’t count if we’re underwater.
“Maybe I have. You don’t know everything about me.” I run my fingers along her hips, the rush of adrenaline fogging my brain.
She bites her lip. “I knew you had a fun side deep down in there. I just needed to keep poking you until it came out.”
She wraps her legs around my waist, cinching herself flush with my core, and my hands trail lower, cupping her ass as I kick my legs, keeping us both a float.
It feels so natural, holding her like this, and every cell in my body feels alive, charged with false hope and delusion. Our mouths are dangerously close, and I flick my eyes down as she wets her lips. There’s a heat growing between us, an electric current that sizzles when two unlikely souls meet their match. I’m a clown fish, and Ivy is my anemone—or maybe it’s the other way around. It shouldn’t work, but somehow, I can’t imagine anything fitting together more perfectly. All I know is that when I look into her eyes, it terrifies me.
“We could do anything out here, and no one would know,” she whispers as my hands caress her soft hips, savoring each stolen moment.
I would know, and that’s all that matters.
“Can I ask you a question?” I ask, mimicking her from earlier.
“Ask away. I’m an open book.”
She opens her arms wide and leans back, trusting that I’ll keep her head above water. I love that about her—that she trusts me so completely. And yet I don’t think either of us realizes the lengths I’d go to prove it.
“What’s in the box?”
Her smile falls as her brows pinch together. “Oh, that …” Her voice comes out almost weak, like I just struck a nerve, which only piques my curiosity. “That’s my sister’s ashes.” Her eyes drop as she seems to disappear for a moment, as if she’s lost in a memory. “I know it sounds weird and morbid or whatever, carrying it around with me … but … I don’t know … Fern asked me to spread her ashes somewhere beautiful. She said I’d know the spot when I found it, and I’ve been looking for the perfect place since I got here. I haven’t found it yet though.”
I cup my hand over her jaw, rubbing the pad of my thumb over her cheek. “Is that why you’re really here? Is that the reason you decided to stay?”
She looks up at me with those big, vibrant eyes, and there’s a darkness to them now that I haven’t seen before, a darkness I’m all too familiar with. She’s hurting.
The thought of Ivy suffering silently, wearing that contagious smile that lights up every room as her own armor, feels like a dagger in my heart.
“Yes, and no,” she admits. “She was so obsessed with ghost stories and cryptids, growing up. She used to tell me all these terrifying stories about the creatures that lived in these mountains before bed. I had nightmares for years because of those stupid stories, but I never told her because she loved them so damn much.
“I was just supposed to be passing through, biding my time and checking off as many things from her list as I could before I left. I planned to visit the Phantom apparition site, but I didn’t expect to be spending the rest of the summer fake-engaged to a billionaire in the cozy small town of Ashford Falls.” She pinches my side playfully, but her smile doesn’t quite meet her eyes.
“Then, I saw the sign for the waterfall, and I thought it could be a perfect place for her … but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I’m not ready to say goodbye. Not just yet.”
A tear falls from the corner of her eye, and I wish I could soak up every ounce of pain she feels and take it on myself because the look of her face nearly kills me.
“Hey, it’s okay. There’s no rush for these things. You’ll do it when you feel ready. I can be there to help you if you want?”
“I just don’t know if I’ll ever feel ready. I’m scared to let her go … but I know it’s what she wanted.” Her voice cracks, and I pull her to my chest.
“You’re so much stronger than you give yourself credit for. You’re a fighter, Ivy. Anyone can see it. You don’t have to do this alone, okay? I’m here for you.”
She wipes the tears from her eyes and pinches her nose before dunking her head under the water, and when she comes up, it’s like she’s flipped a switch, turning off her sadness.
“Okay, enough being sad. What do you say we start a little wager?”
Her sudden mood change doesn’t fool me for one second. There’s no way someone can simultaneously hold that much unprocessed grief and still be the ray of fucking sunshine she pretends to be.
I’m starting to see a pattern that Ivy doesn’t like to dwell in her sadness for longer than a couple of minutes, always flipping the script to look on the bright side. She reminds me of my dad in that way, always focused on the positives and finding the silver lining to everything. In a lot of ways, it’s a good quality; it’s why my dad is the incredible leader he is, but there’s something to be said for digging into your pain and sitting in it too. Maybe I’m guilty of staying there too long, but I’m worried that if she keeps running from it, it’s going to catch up to her in a big way. I’m not exactly sure how to get her to realize that though.
Bringing my attention back to the present, I quirk a brow. “What did you have in mind?”
I might be the only one in the world who sees through this act, but maybe that’s the point of our paths crossing. Maybe she needs a cynic like me to call her out so she can process her grief and eventually move on from it.
She’s clearly not ready to take that step, so right now, I’ll have to give her the next best thing—a distraction.
“I was thinking we could race all the way to the falls. Winner gets to tell the loser what to do. No questions asked.” She tilts up her chin like she’s waiting.
No questions asked …
Immediately, my mind is flooded with a plethora of ideas, most of which I should feel downright ashamed of, but if it’s a distraction she seeks … that might be something I can give her.
I narrow my eyes. “You should know I’m a very fast swimmer. It wouldn’t be a fair competition.”
“I know what I bring to the table, Boss Daddy,” she tosses right back.
“Fine then.” I rub the scruff on my jaw. “I can’t wait to rub my victory in your pretty face.”
“Bring it on, old man.” She splashes a wave of water in my face and then plugs her nose before dipping under the water.
I swim after her all the way to the edge of the rocky cliff, feeling lighter than I have in years. I finally feel like there’s a purpose for my schoolboy crush, which more accurately borders on the line of obsession.
I brace myself on the rocky cliff as I listen to her directions.
“The rules are simple. Whoever reaches the other side of the falls first wins.”
“Seems easy enough. Are you sure about this? I don’t intend on going easy on you after I win. I don’t want to see you pouting about it either. It’s not too late to back out.”
“Cocky much? Why don’t you focus on racing and save your victory speech for if you actually win?” She props herself on the rocks. “Are you ready?”
I nod.
“We go in three, two, one!”
I push my feet off the cliff as hard as I can, and I pump my arms through the water, propelling myself forward in a practiced movement. The cool water glides across my burning muscles as I move closer and closer to the falls with every stroke.
What I didn’t tell her was that I swam competitively for most of my life and into college. Swimming is my favorite form of exercise, and I try to do it at least three times a week. It’s how I keep all my demons at bay. Admittedly, my workouts have been on the back burner since this deviant woman walked into my life, and it feels so good to exert myself.
I can’t wait to see the look on her face when I beat her. A flood of ideas crash through my mind, of the things I could make her do, and it only fuels me further. In one final stroke, I dive below the surface, feeling the heavy pounding of water crash against me, and I swim until I’m on the other side in the hollow space between the cliff and the falls.
I push my hair back from my face as I come to the surface, where I find Ivy sitting cross-legged on the rock’s ledge, grinning like she just stole something.
“How … how did you …” I look around the hollow space for some type of explanation.
“I never said we had to swim.”