Chapter 15
“You took long enough,” Leo mutters as I slide into the car.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize we were in a hurry, Boss Daddy. Are we going to miss our appointment with nature?”
I slam the door a little harder than necessary, and he flinches with annoyance. I know it’s on the tip of his tongue to tell me to be more careful, but to my surprise, he just clenches his jaw shut.
“Here, I got you this. Be careful with the straw. I don’t want whipped cream to get everywhere.” He passes me an iced coffee, and I hesitantly take it.
“What’s this?”
“What does it look like? It’s one of those froufrou coffee drinks all you girls love.”
“You got me a coffee?”
“It’s not a big deal. I was already in the drive-through and figured you’d like something too.” He makes a gesture, waving me off.
My eyes go wide as I take a sip, the rich, sweet flavors exploding on my tongue. “How did you know I loved pumpkin spice?”
“It was a lucky guess.”
“You know, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you might actually be getting a soft spot for me,” I tease.
He shakes his head and smiles. “Don’t count on it. I was just being nice. I am, in fact, capable of being kind every now and then.”
Silence fills the space between us as I fold my legs in my lap and savor my first PSL of the season. It’s the perfect preview of fall and a far cry from the Phoenix summer heat I’m used to. There’s a nip to the air as trees blow in the breeze, and if I close my eyes, it almost smells like fall.
Fall was always Fern’s favorite season while I was more of a springtime lover. We used to fight about it constantly, whose seasonal preference was superior, but every year, on the first day of PSL season, we made it our little tradition to take a long car ride while we indulged ourselves.
Fern was always the driver while I was the passenger princess with the perfect playlist for every occasion. We’d drive and sing our sappy breakup songs until our tank of gas ran empty. When I look back on it now, it was such a small thing. I never dreamed it’d be one of my last core memories of my sister living pain-free. I wish I could go back and make myself enjoy it just a little bit more, play all Fern’s favorite songs without complaining they were too sad. I wish I could go back and have just a few more minutes with her, hear her laugh or ask her for advice on what I should do with my life.
A painful knot forms in my throat, and I take a swig of my coffee to force it down. The flashbacks come so vividly; even the good memories feel like my heart is tearing open. I can’t afford to let myself go there, not right now.
That’s not what today’s going to be about. I’m checking this box on her list, and I don’t want to feel sad about it.
I swipe away the threat of tears with the back of my hand. I need something to distract me.
I glance over at Leo, who looks hot as sin in his sunglasses, hair wavy and messy, and his day-old stubble. He’s drumming his fingers to the beat of the music, and if I didn’t know any better, I might even say he looks a little relaxed.
When I kick my feet up on the dash, Leo swipes them down, giving me a warning glare, but it fades quickly and is replaced with the slightest twitch of a smile at the corner of his mouth.
I narrow my eyes. “What’s got into you today?”
“What do you mean?”
“You’re driving seven miles over the speed limit; you surprised me with an iced coffee …”
He holds up his hand. “In my defense, I was already getting myself one and figured you’d whine if I didn’t get you something too.”
I fold my arms over my chest and look out my window. “That sounds nothing like me.”
He laughs and takes a sip of his own coffee.
“So, where are you taking me? We’ve been driving for a while. I figured we’d just go somewhere close since you’re so terrified to be out there alone.”
“About that …”
I spin to face him. “Yes?”
“We won’t exactly be alone … I sort of invited my family to tag along.” He tilts his head side to side. “Well, they invited themselves when I showed up, looking for camping gear at my parents’ house.” He shrugs. “Either way, there was no stopping them. My parents love camping. They used to make us go all the time when we were growing up. Said it was forced family bonding because we couldn’t escape each other out here.” He nods as he pulls off the road onto a hidden path. “We’ve got a spot that overlooks the waterfall. It’s a Kingsley family secret, so don’t tell anyone, or my parents will disown both of us.”
I gesture like I’m locking my mouth shut. “Don’t worry about me; my lips are sealed.”
We go a little farther underneath the trees until Leo’s satisfied that his car is completely concealed, and then he walks around the car to open my door for me.
“Come on. We’ve got to hike the rest of the way. It’s just about a mile or so.”
He hoists a backpack on his back, and I can’t help but laugh at how adorable he looks in all his hiking gear. It’s the first time I’m seeing him, and the man’s decked out to the nines in hiking boots, vest, and cargo pants.
I scan my eyes over him. “Wow … you really look the part. Did you buy the entire Patagonia catalog just for this occasion?”
“Make fun all you want, but don’t come crying to me when you’ve got a blister from wearing the wrong shoes or you find a tick on you.” He shrugs his shoulders as he starts walking. “Besides, you’re one to talk …” He shoots me a glare over his shoulder.
“What? What’s wrong with what I’m wearing?”
He gestures to all of me. “You’re dressed like a professional wrestler.”
“What are you talking about? This bodysuit is both functional and adorable.”
“You look like André the Giant.”
“Who’s André the Giant?”
His feet abruptly come to a stop, and I nearly run into the back of his giant backpack.
“Seriously? The Eighth Wonder of the World? Seven foot four, five hundred pounds?”
I shake my head.
“He’s only one of the greatest wrestlers of all time. Had a huge career in the ’80s. He wore this black spandex unitard that only had one strap.”
He pops the single strap of my bodysuit playfully, and I swat him away.
“God, sometimes, I forget how much younger you are than me. Wrestling was all the rage when I was growing up …” His voice trails off.
I prop my hands on my hips. “So, I remind you of a giant. That’s just great. You certainly know how to boost a girl’s ego, Leo Kingsley. That dry spell’s starting to make a little more sense now,” I tease, and just as I take another step, he hooks a finger under the strap of my bodysuit and tugs me back toward him.
“Trust me, it’s taking all the restraint in my body to tear my gaze from that perky little ass of yours. I’ve nearly tripped over my goddamn feet ten times since we started this hike.”
His finger caresses the skin beneath my strap stopping just as he reaches the swell of my breasts. Heat builds in my core and my nipples harden.
“But you already know that, don’t you? That’s why of all the outfits you could’ve chosen, you picked this thin piece of spandex that clings to your every curve because you knew it’d torture me and I wouldn’t be able to resist staring.”
“Maybe you should stop fighting it so much and just let yourself have what you want.” I tilt my chin up in defiance as my eyes search his.
He looks like he’s in pain, like he’s struggling to keep the darkness inside of him, the darkness that so badly wants to come out and play.
“Because”—he blows out a sigh—“that’s not the type of arrangement we have, now is it?” His hand moves down my back, sending waves of goose bumps and electric jolts in every direction before his palm cups my ass.
“And what exactly is the arrangement we have?” I say, keeping my eyes trained on his, daring him to keep going.
He pulls his hand away. “One where I’d be smart to remember that no matter how badly I want to do horrible, dirty things to you, this can never happen.” He turns and begins walking, leaving me with my mouth hanging open.
“What the fuck? You can’t just tell me you want to do horrible, dirty things to me and then take off like nothing happened,” I pant as I jog to catch up with him.
“Look, Ivy, I see the games we’re playing, and all of this has to stop. We can’t do this. It’s not right … no matter how tempting you are to me.” He gives me a glare over his shoulder. “I’m too old for you.”
I run to catch up to him. “Age is just a number?—”
“I’m not having this conversation with you. I acknowledged your plea for attention. Now, drop it.”
I move in front of him so that I’m walking backward and he has no choice but to look at me. “What if I don’t? Then, what will you do? Are you going to spank me?”
His jaw clenches, and his nostrils flare as he tightens his grip on the straps of his backpack, like it’s the only thing keeping his hands under control. “Maybe,” he confesses through clenched teeth.
I don’t know if the threat is supposed to scare me because it seems to do the opposite as a flare of excitement ignites in my core.
“What if I want you to?”
“Ivy,” he hisses, his pleading stare boring into me. “You’re playing with fire, and sooner or later, you’re going to get burned.”
I narrow my eyes in challenge. “Maybe that’s the only way I’ll learn.”
“Then, I suggest you find yourself someone with a little more patience because I don’t have time for your games.”
“I think you’re full of shit. You’re making excuses because you’re afraid of what will happen if you let yourself have what you want. It’s like you don’t think you deserve to be happy, like you’re addicted to tormenting yourself and depriving yourself of anything that would bring you pleasure,” I challenge back.
“Or … I have more important things that require my full attention.” He brushes me to the side as he moves to pass me.
“I’m so sorry, Boss Daddy. Please forgive me for distracting you with my tight clothes and great ass. Besides, you’re the one who insisted on tagging along on my camping trip,” I retort.
“Forgive me for worrying that you’d get yourself killed out here alone. I guess I’m just the bad guy for actually giving a shit about your well-being.”
“Don’t get all defensive. I’m just saying it’s only one night. I would’ve been fine. I’m smart. I can figure things out.”
He rolls his eyes. “Which is exactly why I insisted on coming with you. This isn’t one of those times where winging it is a good idea. Anything can happen out here, and you need to be prepared.”
I nudge him with my shoulder. “Or … you can go with the flow and see that things have a way of working out. It’s called an adventure.”
He scoffs a laugh and tugs on my long, braided pigtail. “If you call getting ticks and blisters an adventure, then you can keep your adventures to yourself. Besides, someone had to plan ahead so you can roast s’mores over the campfire tonight.”
That makes me perk up, and I spin to face him. “You packed stuff for s’mores too?”
“Yeah, but I’m not sure I’m in the mood to share anymore.”
I bump into him a little harder, but he doesn’t move, just looks down at me with a teasing smile. We walk like that in silence for a while, and it almost feels like this could be real, like this could be my life. But it’s all a show, and we both know it.
When we get to the top of the hill, I lean against a tree as I try to catch my breath.
“You should’ve told me to slow down if you were struggling.” He pulls my inhaler out of his bag and hands it to me.
I take a couple of puffs, immediately breathing easier.
That’s two thoughtful gestures today. Where am I, and where has my grumpy fake fiancée gone?
He points to a waterfall up ahead. “The campsite’s on the other side of the waterfall. Can you make it the rest of the way, or do you need me to give you a piggyback?”
I narrow my eyes and grin. “You know, my legs are pretty tired from that hike …”
He rolls his eyes. “Seriously?”
I shrug. “Hey, you offered. I just want to conserve my energy.”
He moves his backpack to his chest and squats down for me to climb on without complaint. I could get used to this princess treatment even if it comes laced with sarcasm and snide remarks.
Without missing a beat, I climb on his back, wrapping my legs tightly around his waist and pressing my body flush against him. I don’t miss the way his thumb traces soothing circles over my thigh as he holds me without any complaint, and I can’t help but think he enjoys this as much as I do even though he’d never admit it.
Yeah, a girl could definitely get used to this.
“There they are, the two lovebirds,” Mary calls out as Leo places me down to sit beside her. “Ivy, dear, tell me you didn’t hurt yourself on the hike up.”
“She’s fine, just got a little winded on that last hill,” Leo answers for me.
“Well, I’m glad you were able to put those muscles to use.” Mary gives us each a hug. “I hope you don’t mind, but we had to give you the little tent. Guy and Luka insisted they each needed to be able to spread out, and your father’s air mattress takes up so much room, so we needed the big one.”
She points to the line of tents set up in a row and a small one set off to the side. It looks like it’s barely big enough for one person, much less Leo’s six-four frame.
I rub my palms together. “That’s fine. We do love to snuggle, don’t we, babe?”
Leo forces a grin. “Yeah … snuggling. That’s something we do.”
“Good. I knew you’d understand. I’m going to go find your father. I think he’s down at the creek, fishing.” She blows us a kiss, then gets up to leave.
“Don’t worry; I’ll get one of them to trade tents,” Leo says as soon as she’s out of earshot.
“Really? How are you going to do that?”
He shakes his head like it’s obvious. “I’m the oldest brother. I have an arsenal of methods up my sleeve.”
I sit back, propping my arms behind me. “Whatever you think is best. I thought you had the whole self-control thing locked down, but I guess not. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were afraid to spend the night with me.”
He snaps a twig, grumbling something under his breath that I can’t quite hear, then abruptly stands, in search of one of his brothers.
I look around the picturesque campsite, shaded by dense trees, and I can see why they hike all the way out here. It’s so peaceful, like a scene right out of a painting.
If I close my eyes, I can almost feel Fern beside me, whispering spooky stories in my ear or giving me a history lesson about how old these mountains are. God, I miss her. How am I supposed to know what to do next without her planning for our perfect futures?
Tears sting behind my eyes, but I don’t let them fall, urging the sadness back down, where I keep it locked up tight. The pain’s getting stronger; it’s harder to push it away with each and every check I make to the list, and I’m starting to worry I’ll be worse off by the time this is all over.
I’m supposed to be moving on with my life … so why do I find myself clinging to the past, terrified to let go? I hate feeling like this.
I think it’s about time for another distraction.