Chapter Nineteen Artemis
Chapter Nineteen
Artemis
Ryan stands in my living room, gaze glued to mine. And I can’t seem to break away from his deep, memorizing eyes.
“It’s great you spent time with your grandmother,” I blurt, just to do something. “All my grandparents are dead. Two died before I was born and the other two died within a year of each other, three years ago.”
“Were you close to them?”
“Yeah, it was really hard. My dad buried himself in his work. My mom organized different charity events and tea parties and all that stuff, just to distract herself. Jason had Jenna and I was…well…”
He steps forward and makes a move like he wants to take my hand, but then stops. “Wish I could have been there for you.”
I blink at him. “Oh…um, thanks.” My hand shoots to my hair, where I tug on the strands. “Did you have fun at the museum? Oh, I already asked you that. So…ready for the movie? There are so many versions, but I picked my favorite. I hope it’s okay.”
He shrugs. “I don’t know anything about that.”
“Right. Are you sure you want to watch Pride and Prejudice? Because we can watch anything, I don’t care. Maybe we can even head to the theater. They have awesome popcorn there.”
He shakes his head. “I’m curious.”
“About Pride and Prejudice?”
He captures my eyes with his. “No, why you love it so much.”
My heart skips a beat. The room has suddenly gotten so hot, and that’s not because we have the heat on.
“Um, I guess we can go to my room…” I squint. “Wait, never mind. My dad will come home and will crap his pants if he finds us alone in my room. Even if I tell him we’re just friends.”
I study his reaction, to see if maybe, just maybe, he’s disappointed that I called him my friend. But nope. He seems completely cool with it, standing there with his hands in his pockets and glancing around the room.
“Here is probably better.” I gesture to the TV.
He shrugs. “Whatever you want. I don’t really care.”
Right…so he wouldn’t care if we were alone in my room. Got it. He really just sees me as a friend. I guess I’m okay with that. I mean, I have to be. I can’t force someone to like me.
“I’ll microwave some buttery popcorn, then we’ll start the movie. You can sit.” I wave toward the couch.
He stays planted where he is. “Need help?”
I shake my head. “I’m good. Just sit. Watch TV in the meantime, if you want.”
“I’ll help bring in the snacks and drinks.”
“Okay, check the cabinet and fridge and grab whatever you want.”
While he does that, I microwave the popcorn and watch the bag spin around in there.
Ryan and I are alone in my kitchen. Why am I even making a big deal about it when he sees me as just a friend?
And what in the world did he mean when he said he wants to know why I love Pride and Prejudice so much? If I’m just a friend, why does he care? And I can’t forget the way he held me in his arms last night. Ugh. Why is he so darn confusing?
My thoughts are interrupted by the beep beep of the microwave. I take the popcorn out and pour it into a large bowl. Ryan’s got many different snacks and drinks in his arms. He watches me stare at them.
“Oh, is this too much? I always snack a lot when I watch a movie,” he says.
I laugh. “I also snack too much. I never met anyone who eats as much junk as I do.”
He nods. I wish he’d laugh or smile or show some sort of emotion, instead of being indifferent most of the time.
I mean, the only time I’ve seen a sliver of fun on him was at the dance, but even that was only a tiny bit.
One can think he isn’t capable of feeling anything, but I know he is. I just wish I’d see it.
“What?” he asks, glancing down at himself like he thinks he has a stain on his shirt.
“Nothing,” I quickly say. “Let’s go watch Pride and Prejudice!” I know I said it a bit too enthusiastically, I just love it so much.
We plop down on the couch side by side. Ryan drops the stash of snacks on the table before us while I place the popcorn bowl between us. I’m so tempted to scoot closer to him and feel his body warmth, but I hold back. Friends don’t do that to friends.
We start the movie and watch quietly. The popcorn bowl sits between us, untouched. Actually, neither of us is eating from the snacks. I’m just too engrossed in the movie.
Turning my head to Ryan, I see his eyes pasted on the TV. It’s like he’s pulled in. Does he like it? Or is he only pretending to for my sake?
I hold the popcorn out to him, but he doesn’t notice it. I can’t help but stare at him as he watches. His eyes are filled with…light. That’s the only way I can describe it. It’s like something has woken up inside him.
He shifts his gaze to me. “What? Why are you staring at me?”
I tuck some hair behind my ear. “Nothing. What do you think so far?”
“Darcy is a jerk.”
I laugh. “Yeah, kind of.” I want to tell him that you need to get to know him better before you make all these conclusions about him, but I don’t want to ruin the movie for him.
Ryan watches and I watch him. I can’t even bring myself to focus on what’s on the screen because I keep my eyes locked on his.
What is it about this guy that sends my blood into frenzy? And why can’t I just be friends with him?
I internally sigh. What do I do? Keep my distance because we both want different things? No. I want to be his friend. I want to hang out with him and watch movies with him and spend our lunch periods in the art room. Maybe one day this crush will vanish and we’ll be good friends. I hope.
I stick my hand into the popcorn bowl and my fingers sweep across something warm and hard. His fingers. A shock zooms up my spine and my hand flies out of the popcorn bowl. It’s such a strong force that the bowl flips in the air and splats on the couch, spilling popcorn everywhere.
I leap to my feet. “Crap!”
Ryan pauses the movie and then we start gathering the popcorn and tossing them into the bowl.
I reach for a cluster the same time he does, and his hand knocks into mine. Once again, electricity zaps up my spine.
I blink at Ryan and he looks at me. Did he feel it, too?
Probably not, because he continues sweeping up the popcorn like nothing happened.
“I’m such a klutz,” I mumble as we continue cleaning up. “Sorry. I thought I saw a bug and that’s why I threw the bowl in the air.” A complete lie, but it’s better than the truth.
“Nah, it’s okay. We’re almost done.” He stands. “We should probably vacuum. Where is it?”
“What? You want to vacuum?”
He shrugs. “I took care of the vacuuming back home, and I vacuum at my grandma’s.”
“Oh.” We usually have a housekeeper who takes care of that. “You don’t have to do that. It was my fault, my mess. I should clean it up.”
He waves his hand. “I don’t mind. Where is it?”
“Um…I don’t know?”
“What?”
I laugh, hugging myself like I want to hide in a hole. This is kind of embarrassing. “I don’t know where we keep it. But I guess we can look for it.”
I expect him to be all judgy, but he’s not. He actually seems pretty cool about the whole thing as we check different closets and the basement. When we finally find it, he plugs it in and begins vacuuming the carpet.
“It’s my mess, I feel bad that you’re cleaning it up,” I yell over the noise.
He motions that he can’t hear me. Liar. He totally heard me but is pretending not to. Why is cleaning up my mess so important? I really, really don’t get him.
When he’s done, he puts the vacuum away and we settle down on the couch.
“Thanks, that was very cool of you,” I say. “But you really didn’t have to.”
He shrugs. “Artemis, I told you I don’t mind.”
Why does my heart pound when he says my name?
I don’t bother making us more popcorn—it’s not like we’ll eat it, anyway.
We continue the movie, and like before, I can’t take my eyes off him.
He’s so…into it. Wow. I don’t know a lot about guys, but don’t they usually hate this sort of movie?
I remember how Jenna had to pull my brother by his teeth to get him to watch a romance movie with her.
My palms are resting on the couch, in the small space between Ryan and me. Ryan’s hands are on his knees. We’re so close, but so far. I wonder what it would feel like if I were to…
No. I can’t.
“So what did you think?” I ask once the credits roll down the screen.
He turns to me, eyes squinting. “So you like that kind of guy? Like Darcy?”
“Um, I don’t know. Why?”
He shrugs. “Just wondering.”
We look away from one another.
I reach for a bag of chips at the same time he does. Our fingers tangle in one another, and I can’t pull mine out.
He looks into my eyes and I stare into his. My stomach does a few flips like it suddenly turned into a gymnast. There’s so much in his eyes, but I can’t make sense of any of it.
I pull away, pushing my fingers through my hair. “Um, I think my parents will be home soon.”
He nods, getting to his feet. “Yeah, I should probably head home.”
“Want to do something tomorrow?” I blurt. “I mean, I’m free. We can, uh, do homework. If you want. No, homework’s lame.” There I go babbling again.
He steps toward me, catching my gaze. “We can hang out, but I’m not doing homework.” He glances away, then at me. “Can I borrow one of your favorite books?”
“What? Why?”
He doesn’t say anything.
“Be right back.”
I leap up the stairs, grab a book from my room, then zoom back down. I hold it out to him. “This is another one of my favorites. Jane Eyre. It was required summer reading, but I think I’m the only one who read it.”
He takes it from me. “Hmm. Okay, I’ll start it tonight.”
“No pressure or anything. Maybe we can watch the movie, too. Or we can watch whatever you want. Or nothing at all.” I staple my lips shut. “Sorry. I’m being too clingy.”
His lips lift a teensy weensy. Is that an equivalent of a smile? “I don’t mind. I’ll see you tomorrow, Artemis.”
A shiver runs down my spine as he says my name. “Yeah,” I croak. “See you.”
After the door shuts behind him, I drop down on the couch, only I’m too far and fall to the floor instead. Hugging my knees to my chest, I rest my head on them. And yell a silent yell. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. I spent the day alone with Ryan. And he wants to hang out tomorrow.
But I need to remember that he just sees me as a friend.
My head lifts. Does he, though? Why do I get the feeling it’s more than that?
Or is it in my head, like usual?
Was he right that he said I like a guy like Mr. Darcy?
Is he my Mr. Darcy?