Chapter Twenty-Four Ryan
Chapter Twenty-Four
Ryan
All I can think about all night is what I revealed to Artemis at the park today.
It was hard, maybe one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I’m glad I told her.
I want to be close to her, to be honest with her.
I don’t want to keep anything from her. And I definitely don’t want to ever hurt her.
I’m tossing and turning, not because I told her about my past, but because of something completely different.
I can’t be open and honest with her. Because our relationship started off on a lie.
On a payment. Sure I returned the money and I really, really like her.
Maybe even love her. But still, she needs to know the truth.
I somehow make it through the night and find myself entering the school building the next day.
Only a few hours ago, I was so sure telling her the truth is the right decision. But when I find her fishing her books from her locker, I don’t have the heart to do it. I don’t want to hurt her.
But…how can I keep this from her?
“You okay, man?”
I look up to find Jason standing there, eyebrows furrowed. “You look like you haven’t slept at all.” He grins knowingly. “My sister keeping you up all night with texts?”
I glance at Artemis, then back at him. Her brother might be the only person who can help me with this. “Can we talk?”
“Sure.” He gestures to the stairs leading to the basement. It’s a good place to have a private conversation, since no one really comes here.
We drop down on the steps. And I just stare at the floor, too messed up about the whole thing. Why did I take the money in the first place? It’s a terrible thing to do to someone, especially to a girl as sweet and kind and amazing as Artemis.
Jason looks at me with furrowed eyebrows. “You’re not thinking about breaking my little sister’s heart, are you?”
“No.” Why would I do that when she’s the best thing to have ever happened to me?
She made me realize that I shouldn’t blame myself for my parents’ deaths.
Even though I still do, a part of me knows they wouldn’t want that.
They’d want me to be happy, and I am, with Artemis.
When I’m with her, a sense of peace and calm washes over me. And I haven’t been having nightmares.
He claps me on the back. “Then what’s the problem?”
“I don’t want there to be any secrets between us.”
He looks at me like he has no clue what I’m getting at.
“I need to tell her that you paid me to take her to the dance. It’s not right to keep it from her.”
“Dude.” His hand is on my shoulder. “You can’t do that. She can’t ever know. It’ll be our secret.”
I shake my head. “I don’t feel right keeping it from her.”
He sighs. “Take it from someone with experience, telling your girlfriend that someone paid you to take her to the dance is a bad idea.”
“But—”
“You returned the money right away, right? And you like her despite the money, don’t you?”
I nod.
“Then what’s the problem? The way I see it, you gave me back the money and still hung out with her after that. It’s like the money didn’t exist.”
I take some time to let his words make sense in my head. “But you still paid me. Maybe if I explain it to her—”
“No. Listen to me, man. Don’t tell her. You won’t gain anything. You’ll only hurt her feelings. Look dude, when you’re in a relationship, you’ve got to decide what to keep to yourself and what to tell your girl. This is something you keep to yourself.”
I lift a brow. “You didn’t tell Jenna about the money?”
“Of course not. Because it’s not worth it, especially because it doesn’t mean anything.
I tell her other secrets, sure, things that are important and stuff like that.
But listen to me. This isn’t something you want to tell your girlfriend.
” His face hardens. “Remember what I said about you hurting her?”
I hold up my hands. “Geez, okay. I won’t tell her.” I stand. “And you don’t have to worry about my hurting her. I’ll never do such a thing.” She means too much to me.
He claps me on the back again. “Good. Glad to hear it.”
We head to our classes just as the bell rings. I find Artemis at her locker, her head whipping around like she’s looking for someone. I don’t need to guess who.
I slip my arm around her waist, yanking her to my chest. She thrashes for a few seconds, but then must realize it’s me and relaxes.
“You scared me!” she hisses.
I bend my head to kiss her, but then I remember we’re at school. I twist my mouth up, trying to muster a smile, but I fail miserably. Crap. I want to smile, just for her. But it looks like I never will.
“We’d better get to class,” she says, leading me toward history. I’m forced to release her from my clasp because PDA is forbidden at school. That’s bull. Wish I could show this girl every second of every day how strongly I feel about her.
Maybe Jason was right. Why cause Artemis unnecessary pain? I did return the money, and anyway, I’m glad I went to the dance with her. It was the start of everything.
“What? You have this weird look on your face,” she says.
“I’m just happy you’re in my life.”
She beams. “Me, too.” She takes a deep breath. “And I think I might be falling…”
“Mr. Rogers, Miss West, you’re late,” Mrs. Lee snaps as soon as we enter the room. She motions for us to quickly grab our seats, and I’m glad she didn’t toss detention slips our way. Maybe because I’m still the guy who’s mourning his parents’ deaths.
Throughout the lesson, I can’t stop thinking about what Artemis was in the middle of saying. That she might be…falling in love with me?
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t feel the same. It’s crazy. I never felt that way about a girl before. Honestly, it scares me a little.
But at the same time, I like it.
Artemis sends me sweet smiles all through class, and that makes my heart pound stronger and makes me want to wrap my arms around her. Just hold her, never wanting to let go.